| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:08:33 AM | | I don't think its the sites that have become awful, moreso I think society has become that way. Back in the day, people were more sincere and only used these sites to truly find a mate. Unfortunately today its become a breeding ground for alot of immature, dishonest people, men and women alike. This surely makes it a much tougher revenue for those who are honestly searching. My opinion of course. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:17:00 AM |
Back in the day, people were more sincere and only used these sites to truly find a mate. Unfortunately today its become a breeding ground for alot of immature, dishonest people, men and women alike. This surely makes it a much tougher revenue for those who are honestly searching.
I think you are absolutely right about this. First it was singles bars, but people found them to be just meat markets. Then there was the newspaper and singles ads. Now there is the internet. Whatever the venue, there are people who spoil it for the rest. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:34:42 AM | Good Morning America (GMA) had a brief spot about internet dating.
It was a brief spot because that is all the attention it deserves. Internet dating isn't any different than any other dating. All it does is give more opportunity to find a potential mate. You might consider a date as being "great", but it doesn't necessarily mean the other person saw it as being great.
If internet dating had never been invented, we would still go on dates and have our heads turned by someone we saw as being attractive. The only difference is that we would have our heads turned at the grocery store, on the street, or somewhere else in person. | |
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¥ogi
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Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 29 | |
| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:35:37 AM | So internet dating is being equated to shopping at a fruit market. You pick up one check it out to see if it is OK and if it has bruises or is rotten pick up another one. Makes sense to me... | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 8:34:48 AM | I don't think its the sites that have become awful, moreso I think society has become that way. Back in the day, people were more sincere and only used these sites to truly find a mate. Unfortunately today its become a breeding ground for alot of immature, dishonest people, men and women alike. This surely makes it a much tougher revenue for those who are honestly searching.
I have to agree with this and it does make it tough for people who are truly searching and don't want to play games. I wish someone would make a site for married people who want to cheat and they can stop wasting our time. Or for the professional daters who are not looking to be exclusive. Let them all be honest with each other about what they want and then everyone is happy. I get annoyed that they think we want to be drawn into their nonsense. Then others wonder why we have become more guarded when it comes to this internet dating  | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 2:28:36 PM | I agree with your post about restricting to a 50 mile radius. I also believe that there are those that are "addicted" to the candy store (as a good friend of mine calls the internet dating sites). Unfortunately for those of us in busy careers and additional pursuits, such as continuing education, the opportunity to meet people through other social events, friends, etc. can be limited.
Having just moved to the DC area it is even more difficult due to lack of work social networks.
I continue to hope that I will find someone whose mutual likes, dislikes and life goals work with mine. Your comment, "I don't think I would be able to meet these same people by chance in real life, so the very beginning of getting to know them is artificial via the internet, but after that it becomes very real life and personal"....is so very true. At the end of the day it is all about trust and intution.
Corinne | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:29:44 PM | I was rather shocked the other day. I met a really nice lady, we went out twice had a lot in common only live like a mile a part. Chatted with many times by IM or phone. So I asked when she wanted to go out again. She said, well I have the girls night on Friday and then on Saturday I am meeting this man. Oh, OK well drop me a line since we live so close we can just do dinner... A week goes by. Talk with her again, tells me she just been so busy. Another week and this time she tells me she is all "booked" up with dates, but assures me that she really wants to go out with me again... I said well if your not to busy, she goes on to explain that she just doesn't understand it, shes never been asked out so much! Ahhhh...ok, well good luck. But wait, no she really wants to go out with me again, don't worry she says, I will call you soon and make a date!! Oh boy! I can't wait....NOT. Hmmmm, no think I will pass.
I mean I have dates that didn't go well, no chemistry etc. But this seemed well and she keeps trying to string me along. Well in talking with her I can tell she has developed this "shopping" type of attitude that she didn't have a couple months ago. I think people really do develop this type of attitude since its like a never ending line of people that get thrown at you. On-line dating can turn you into a serial dater if you let it.
The real question is, how do you know if you are a serial dater and how to avoid it? | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:16:20 PM | Not to get off topic, but its not that I have a problem with women dating other men, no one is serious yet. Its just when we talk before I meet them you always tend to get into those question like so do you date much? When are you free to go on dates? Things like that. When your told, no, I don't date much at all in fact its been months since I went on a date and I have lots of free time after work and on the weekends...And you go on a couple dates, she says she really likes you and can't wait to do more and then a short time later your put on a waiting list....thats one of my issues. If I had known she was going to become a serial dater I would look at it different or maybe even passed. The other issue is I would prefer to not have her tell me I will call and we can go out soon if she is not really interested. Second, I don't really want to listen to her talk about her other "dates" and what they did or how busy she is. I don't think any male is up for that.
Not that it matters, but if you don't want games then don't play them. If she calls and wants to go out on a date, ut oh, what if I am busy? Guess she just moves down the Rolodex to the next victim. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:37:27 AM | irishmish you are spot on! A male friend on mine says he finds these sites incredibly addictive.................so there you go 
Everything you said is true and particularly with alot of the men. They seem to be looking for someone better all the time and what a perfect place this is with new faces popping up every day................give me the old fashioned way anytime  | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 2:01:02 AM | Internet dating is a part of the instant gratification culture. The number of contacts and meets that can be made through ID in a short period of time would take forever in the real world. Months of hanging out in the produce section of the grocery store, night clubs, health clubs, church socials or singles clubs wouldn't give as much information as a few hours on the internet.
My opinion is that going to a first meet from an ID encounter would compare to date 5 or 6 from the old fashioned way. It should be any easy yes or no by that time. How many dates would we go on before you asked my age if it wasn't posted on POF?
We have a great date, but then we go home. Start reading forums where we are encouraged not to settle. .....and start to think.............is there a better fishy out there for me? I've learned my lesson, but there are so many out there that continue to catch & release. They are all in search of that elusive trophy fish.
POF still beats hanging out at the produce section or smoky bars. | |
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juus
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Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 38 | |
| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 3:08:17 AM | Internet dating is what you as an individual make it, it can be a way of making friends, of having lots of one night stands or as a way of genuinely trying to find someone who is your 'soul mate' whatever that is for you.
Yes technology has changed life somewhat but what is even stranger than internet dating is people who slog away in a gym in the summer in a hanger like building on a bike or rowing machine when the sun in shinning outside and the world is so fantastic a place to exercise in. Why do people do that. So my point is ......... is dating via the internet so strange when we as a race do other equally strange things. It is a medium to be used in a way the individual sees fit. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 5:42:05 AM | Suppose there is a party some night, with 99 people in attendance, including the folks from Good Morning, America. The party goes along smoothly, people socializing, talking, making new friends, all in all, it turns out to be a great party and everyone there enjoys themselves. Then, about one hour before the party shuts down, one angry drunk crashes the party. He/she knocks over tables, screams at and picks fights with everyone in the room. A brawl breaks out as the patrons at the party try to get the drunk out the front door. The party ends with the drunk removed, broken tables, bottles and busted up people everywhere. What do you suppose the next morning’s focus by the Good Morning America people will be about the party they attended the night before ?? One percent of the people at that party will get 99% of the attention.
This is how the media works, and anyone who’s been even remotely connected with the trade will attest to this. A story about Al Capone’s body being found buried in the basement of a pizza shop in downtown Detroit, apparently hacked to death by a family of lunatics, will circle the globe. But the pizza shop down the street that served 53 pizzas today, and 52 of those 53 patrons thought the pizzas tasted fabulous, won’t ever be heard from. The media deals with the unbelievable, the eye-opening, the sensational, to get its ‘ratings’ and stay on the air. But it neglects things that are moving along normally. Everyone in town having a good day is not news, nor does it get air time.
The internet dating sites are full of good, decent people. My messenger lists are full of them. Just over the weekend, I made friends with a man my age who lives on the other side of the ocean. And we made friends because he and I had totally differing views on a particular forum topic. But because we posted with respect for differing opinions, we were able to take our talk outside the forum and discuss it further. If the distance wasn’t so great between us, we’d probably sit somewhere and have a pint together. The good people on dating sites are out there – they always are. But when you run into them, you have to be quick about making contact. For the good folks get snapped up quickly by other good folks. They don’t usually stay on sites looking for partners for very long.
cdn guy | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:02:23 AM |
I don't know if women are doing the same thing, as often
Well, just check out the number of women who say things like "enjoy the finer things of life" or something similar in their profiles. We all enjoy the finer things of life, but these women are letting it be known that they want to be pampered right up front. There are loads of women of all ages on these sites that find it a great way to experience the quality restaurant scene, never mind the issue of looking for a relationship. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:31:02 AM | ^^^Well young man? Perhaps you are correct. I from my viewpoint though, disagree. Myself and my g/f's are hard working individuals who have no problem paying our share. I have had it said to me, " why not go meet this man? Just for the dinner if anything?"
Nope, I can buy my own dindins tyvm. I want something much much more expensive....I want his love and his time! Holy carp, that is heavy for a Monday mornin! | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:34:32 AM | Personally, I only see the "benefits" of being able to meet more people who you would not run into normally in real life. As for the rest of the behaviour that goes on, it reminds me of High School or the University where there were large populations of members of the opposite sex, and the usual collection of both male and female players that spent their time dating for the fun of it using whatever strategy worked for them.
Over the years there have been sites like True that claimed to weed out the casual daters and players from the honest relationship seekers, but I really do wonder how successful they are. I don't notice quite the number of ads for these commercial sites as I used to, although I suppose they are still operating.
In my own experience, life has always been a "candy store" in terms of the available interesting candidates I run into in the normal course of my daily existence. The internet is just a "Big Box" store as compared to the "Boutique" nature of my real life social environment, with all of the implications of that metaphor.
Its also somewhat ridiculous. Yes, these sites have "millions of members", "thousands of new singles joining daily", etc, but lets be reasonable. You can't possibly screen and sift through "millions of members". In your lifetime, if you did nothing but look (seriously) for a mate, you might be able to handle a few hundred candidates at most, even then you would pretty well be exhausted emotionally, physically and financially.
Whatever people think about the mating process, historically success was achieved through social connections within a relatively small group of people totaling usually less than a few hundred people, only about a third or less of whom were potential candidates. The internet is like going to Home Depot to by a screw. Yes, they definitely have it, but you better eat a good lunch before you head out, because by the time you walk a half mile from the parking lot to the store, and another mile through the store to find the screws, and spend 20 minutes selecting the one you need from the 2000 varieties on display, then spend another 20 minutes in the cash line, etc, etc, you are going to be pretty worn out.
Back in the old days you took a bike to the local hardware store and the friendly fellow there asked you what you wanted, said he did not have it, but offered you something that worked just as well, all in less than 5 minutes. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:42:10 AM | | Well, Spicy, much as your allure would motivate me to wine and dine you for the pure pleasure of your company, I suspect that I will be deprived of such pleasure seeing as how I am quite unlikely to ever be in Adelaide.... | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 6:45:56 AM |
but don't believe for an instant that EVERY woman on one of these sites is without ulterior motives.
Mr. R? I don't believe that, much the same as for the men here. One simply has to be discerning about whom they decide to date is all. These sites do in fact make it easy for those looking for sexual encounters and free dinners. I know the type of man that I seek and will simply not date for the sake of dating. Far as sex goes? Heck, don't even need the internet for that if I want it. Nope, am waiting for something real. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:11:33 AM |
Whatever people think about the mating process, historically success was achieved through social connections within a relatively small group of people totaling usually less than a few hundred people, only about a third or less of whom were potential candidates. The internet is like going to Home Depot to by a screw. Yes, they definitely have it, but you better eat a good lunch before you head out, because by the time you walk a half mile from the parking lot to the store, and another mile through the store to find the screws, and spend 20 minutes selecting the one you need from the 2000 varieties on display, then spend another 20 minutes in the cash line, etc, etc, you are going to be pretty worn out.
...Well now, you've just burst my bubble.....and to think... I kinda liked looking around at Home Depot too.....but just so you know.......it wasn't just about "the screws"
...maeflowers | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:13:30 AM |
but don't believe for an instant that EVERY woman on one of these sites is without ulterior motives.
And of course,all the men have completely honorable intentions.
Cindy O | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:17:12 AM | | I recall, Ms Mae, that your fancy was open to wandering the aisles of Home Depot with no particular hardware related goals in mind at all! Something about men in orange aprons, I believe.... | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:21:51 AM | Home Depot is an awesome place to go looking for hammers that fit your palm just right! lol
And the internet is awesome. Why just this morning I did in fact receive a friend request from a man who stated he was sex addict. Now just what more could a gal ask for? | |
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