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| I need help with this one???
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:06:44 PM | I know I should dump his pothead ass. lol
Like I said when I feel like I can't take it anymore I probably will.
Cally | |
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| I need help with this one???
Posted: 3/27/2006 10:59:18 PM | It is not controlling to establish reasonable boudaries {ie. safe, healthy,sober,legal,etc.} in adult relations. Infact, the establishment of responsible boudaries and behaviors is the hall mark of adulthood. Your so has so little respect for your comfort and well being that he doesn't even find it necessary to lie and say he won't smoke the crack. Your so is an addict; he finds it necessary to chronically alter his mind and mood to live. Dope is his great love-uou are a distant second. Indicating that you would accept crack smoking in order to attend a concert calls your maturity into question. Quit lying to yourself; you are deep into a dangerous codependant relationship with a drug addict. I also suspect your so is involved with other drugs ubeknownst to you at least occassionally!
Stop enabling your partner and attempt to think more of yourself. You cannot change your so; only your reactions and behavior. One last thing: there is no such thing as recreational crack use! | |
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| I need help with this one???
Posted: 3/28/2006 8:30:51 AM | @cwk137
Thank you for your input. I do discuss his drug use with him often and let him know what my feelings are on the subject. I have already told him that if I see any sign of other drugs I will be out of there in a flash. The bus station is a mile away from the festival. And yes I know that pot is a drug also. I knew that he smoked when we met ( though not how much or often) and I probably should have left when I did find out but I didn't. I know him and how he is and if and when "I" feel that I have had enough I will leave. I don't think I am co-dependant, I don't enable him I just have enough sence to know that he is an adult man and if he chooses to do it he will. I do know that he has cut down considerably on his using since we have been together.
Cally | |
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| I need help with this one???
Posted: 3/28/2006 3:12:29 PM | | Living in a a relationshipwith a chronic drug user, waiting for the day you can't take it any longer, is the definition of codepenance. Why don't you think you deserve better, Cally? | |
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| I need help with this one???
Posted: 4/12/2008 4:12:28 AM | Sweetie, you need to educate yourself 0n addiction. He is powerless over the pot and you are powerless over his addiction. You can try to control it all you want, but honey, it is much bigger than you. He is not going to stop for you or anyone else except his self when he is finally ready, if ever. Yes, you are trying to control his addiction. Yes, you are being controlling about it. On the other hand you have a right to set a boundry, but when it comes to his pot smoking, his friends, his drugs, you will always loose. It is not that he loves them more than you, although it seems like it, it is just that he is an addict, and smoking pot is just as normal to him as going to the bathroom is to you. Also, even though it is known that pot is not addictive, that just means that physically hs will not go through withdrawl if he stops, but believe me, he will go through hell breaking the habit if he has smoked for years.
I have a friend that I have known for 35 years, since we were kids. He is an old hippie. He is a great guy, a great Dad and a hard working man, but he has smoked pot for over 30 years. He decided about 6 months ago to quit smoking pot. He was tired of wasting his money, being in bondage of it, having to deal with the people that he got it from, hiding it when he had his son for the weekend, etc... I supported him emotionally when he quit. Let me tell you, it was not easy, so I do not care what any web sites say about pot, it is not easy breaking any habit that you have had for years. He had trouble sleeping for a few weeks.
Have you ever heard this prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. the only thing you can change is yourself. You can support someone if they want to change, but it has to be their doing. | |
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