| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 1:50:05 AM | I'm with message 25 all the way! Passion is very important to me and the couple of times I've had meaningless sex it has felt exactly like that - meaningless.
However I don't need to be "in love" with the person and vice versa as long as we both care for each other somewhat. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:53:59 AM | What is meaningless sex? I don't believe there's such a thing, there's always a reason for having it.
If sex isn't enjoyable, it's not because there's no love or because it had no meaning. It's because you have mentally held yourself back, you have created a block to your own enjoyment of the sex act.
As for me I don't link the act of sex with love at all, they are completely separate things. I have no problem enjoying sex whether it's with someone I love or with someone that just enjoys sex. It hasn't changed by how much older I get at all. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 12:03:31 PM | Body parts? Wow, sounds like looking for donors or something.
Personally I take pride in the ability to separate love and sex, that way when you are with the one you love it isn't an obligation but rather an activity you both willingly engage in.
If you are with someone you like to have fun with, you don't have the obligation of having to be in love. It's obviously not for everyone, but for those who can differentiate it can be a wonderful experience. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:27:22 PM | | I find that the older I get the longer it takes to find someone to have a loving relationship with . I am not into casul sex anymore . I got over that in my late 20's. I enjoy making love it's lots more fulfilling than causal sex . Its been so long now that even casual sex might be appealing LOL Not really | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 5:31:52 PM | | When I was a teenager and later when I was in the Navy, it did not matter one bit to me. All a woman needed was the right body parts and it was fine with me. Now that I am a bit more mature, I am not interested (too often) in casual sex. I do know women who are satisfied with a booty call, but for me, there has to be some feelings involved. When I am with a woman I have deep feelings for it's an entirely different story. I become arroused just sitting next to her, or even more when we dance. They call it making love for a reason. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 6:48:35 PM | I have been made love to and I've had just "sex."
However, there is only one that sticks in my mind as being "mind blowing." And that occurred in my 40's.
I'm finding that as I get older, it gets better. I'm more comfortable with my body and he is as well. We just don't think about the wrinkles, a paunch of the belly, or the fact that you missed a spot shaving on your legs. It's so much more fun now than it was when I was younger. Quite honestly, I'm loving this age. If we could bottle this sexuality, I'd make a million! | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:06:11 PM | Got my vote on the middle age sex.
I don't know why this happened but.....
Her in loveless marrage. Me just seperated and both at a sales meeting.
An immidiate soulful connection, and then well ......
It was totaly mind blowing the first time, we have met 2 times after that, and meeting again in two weeks. Never worse always better!
I don't know if its Love, but the trust and intimacy both in communication and when we enter into each others arms is beyond desription! We can barely describe it to each other. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:47:20 AM | Meaningless Sex.......means......
don't have to meet his family
don't have to do his laundry
don't have to deal w/ his ex and kids
don't have to have supper ready when he gets home
don't have to explain myself !!
and it means I'm getting laid w/o all the drama!! | |
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2run
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Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 88 | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 9/30/2009 5:57:59 AM |
Sex without love is just exercise
The only time you will ever hear a man say this is when he is on a dating site trying to pick up women.
This is one of those lines you will never hear at your local sports bar. Good crypes, what kind of "man" says sex is just excercise.... sheesh... | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 12:05:55 AM | When people get older they can feel that the caring side of relationships is more important, and tend to look into how they might feel about the other person, more deeply.
If we want just sex we have to look for a person who just wants sex.
If we want a stayer we have to wait until we feel we can have feelings for them.
Some people as they age would rather not share sex as a rule unless they feel they have feelings for the other person.
We all can have sex on our own and don't have to use others to satisfy our urges.
Less hassle really. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 11:37:18 AM | Sex with love, or without love, is great. Great sex is great sex, and while love may add a little something, it doesn't make much difference to anyone's orgasm. It may make the cuddling afterwards more enjoyable, however.
Sex without love is only less great when you worry about what you've gotten yourself into. So, I need to at least know the person enough to like them. And I can usually tell within 10 minutes if we can actually hold a focused conversation! | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 12:02:59 PM | | I really want the love connection to be there before we go to bed together. Last woman I was with started out great but she would not talk about how she felt about me and when I told her I was falling for her she said it scared her to hear that. When she said that I started to retreat and there were valid reasons to get out so I used them. I am really tired of sex without love and don't want to do it anymore. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 1:30:40 PM | | I hear what you're saying, m14. I certainly enjoy and want to have a loving relationship - nothing beats that! However, if I don't have that, I won't pass up great sex while on the quest for such a relationship, though I wouldn't settle for just great sex for very long. Happily, I have both, and needn't seek either. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 3:08:56 PM | Amen M14, your not the only one who feels this way. As we age I feel we age maturely as well, love isn't just sex, we learn to seperate that, I can have just as much enjoyment emotionally as I can physically when I've connected with that someone special. Took me years to figure this out, some never will. Not all of us guys are out to put another notch on the bed post. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 4:40:59 PM |
You know I am starting to find that if I dont havedeep feelings with someone, the sex just isnt great.
casual encounters are not my thing and neither is boring sex.
When I have deep feelings for someone, I find that I am much better in bed since I am a passionate person.
Who else thinks or feels the same way as i do on this topic?
One of my favorite artists, Musiq, wrote an excellent song on this that I think applies.
See, even if its just a one night stand or a casual fling, I treat that lady as if I was planning to spend my life with her, even if I'm not. (I don't say that, that would be misleading, emphasis on TREAT) What this means is its possible to have "deep feelings" for someone, even if its just a one nighter. You gotta grant yourself permission to enjoy the full present, not just a part of it. Anyway, lyrics to the song are as follows (Copyrighted to Musiq )
For the Night by Musiq
Let's pretend for one night, I'm the man in your life
And we do the things that lovers do
All the loving u like
I give it to you just right
Theres nothing less than special when it comes to you
See what we have is understanding
That works so well for how we are
Cause neither of us has the heart to fall in love all over again
[Chorus]
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know u got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
Now what I like about you
Is that you're always so cool and comfortable whenever I'm around
You're some one that I can talk too
No matter what I'm going through I call on you cuz I know you'll always be down
See what we have is so incredible
That we'll never find in anyone else
This thing that we share is so unbelievable
That I want you all to myself
[Chorus]
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know you got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
Oh, I know that we both have our separate lives
And we don't keep ties on each other
So you can have me
So that I can hold you until the morning comes
Then we can go back to how things was before
[Chorus]
[Repeat x2]
Tonight
Tonight
Umm dada da badum, yeah
I like it (I like it)
I love it (I love it)
It feels good to me (it feels good to me)
So good to me (so good to me) | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 4:45:05 PM | Well...personally....
I wouldnt...and have never has sex with a man i didnt have deep feeling with...as well as a comitted relationship...
Guess i'm just not into...casual sex...but as i get older..it just keeps getting better....
but..no i dont think the same way you do...because i have never experienced it....but..i would imagine..it sucks...and...feels..degrating.... | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 5:21:45 PM | | No, I don't find that. The older I get the more I enjoy sex regardless of how emotionally involved I am or am not. I don't understand the concept of feeling degraded by an evening of mutual pleasure. I can understand some people are not satisfied well that way and need the emotional attachment to ejoy sex but the idea of anything between consensual adults making one of them feel degraded is strange to me. | |
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| do u find the older u get, when u are not in love, sex isnt as great?
Posted: 11/18/2009 7:33:46 PM | | Casual sex is just as good at 45 as it was at 17. The real difference is that at 45 I've had a long term active relationship and know how much better it can be. It's like ice cream. when you're a kid the cheap stuff is great just because it's ice cream. But when your older and know the difference you learn that the premium, hand crafted stuff is so much better that the plain old cheap stuff just doesn't do it for you anymore. | |
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