| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/15/2006 11:53:33 PM | To the beautiful lady anenigma: girlfriend is that you today and you are 40! Wow you look good & youthful! I think when you really, really fall in love with someone or even have a very genuine love for that person. I had a guy whom I thought was going to be my guy for the rest of my life. He was a younger man from the Ukraine. After what I was only delusioned to think was for the most part a beautiful, sensuous love relationship & after many talks/plans we had together last year (2005) of marriage and getting jobs & moving out of this boring town together. Well after all that he droped me (dumped) over-night and for no logical reason. I kind of had a combination in love and genuine love feelings for him (Mykola). He was 13 years younger yet you could tell we were that far apart in age since I look pretty young. I was 47 and he was 34 (soon to be 35) when we met in March 2005. I practically lived with him and hardly ever went home until he abruptly ended our relationship on Jan 9, 2006. I tried for months to get him to make up but he would budge. He had me blaming myself as though it were all my fault. I helped him clarify/write many parts of his phd dissertation that he finally got approved & he got awarded his phd this summer semester at SIU-C. It took me months to realize that he used me the entire 9.5 months to help him get his writing done for his dissertation. And that he never loved me like he said not intended to keep any agreements of having a future together with me. He only lead me on. It took me close to 6 months to get over him. The first few months I was very heartbroken. And today I actually thought he was coming toward me and I happily said "hi" but it turned out it wasn't him when I got closer up. I think when you really love someone, despite if they hurt you or whomever ended it for whatever reason, that you always will hold that love, or a part of it thereof, in your heart for that person. I think there is no getting past it really. I think it shows that you do have a heart. It shows that when you love with all your heart, when you're willing to give that much of yourself and lay yourself out on the line like that - that you are all heart - that you're heart pumps all the more and you are even stronger for it. And you are more then likely then ever to find love again since you have so much love to give.  I have a fav quote from the Bible; it goes "those who live with love; live with God!" not many days go by when I don't say this to my adult son Justin I love and adore so much! | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/16/2006 12:08:21 AM | This is me replying to my own comment since I noticed I didn't finish one of my first sentenses. About carrying a torch; here goes it:
I think when you really, really fall in love with someone or even have a very genuine love for that person and you allow your love over a period of time to grow very deep for the object of your love then it ends it kind of just rips your heart out - cuts a million little jabs into your heart and really tears you up inside. It's a long and painful process to get over. I don't know if you ever completely get over it. Sometimes I think about my guy I loved and think perhaps I really do still love him. Just like a girl said in a recent movie I rented. She said "when you really love someone; it never stops". However I do believe that many times we mistakenly fall in love and choose the wrong person. We get in a hurry and don't take the time we need to take in order to get to know that person before we jump into a physically intimate relationship with them. And this is a big mistake and one I'm going to do my best to never, ever do again if I can help it. I want to find a man who can really love me back. I want to find a man who is right for me the next time around. So in a sense to hold a torch is wasting time when you could be using that time & energy to find the right love for you. And that beautiful blonde woman is way to beautiful to be carrying the torch for long. I think she won't be alone much longer at all but she needs to find someone who really deserves her love and that will love her the right way. Sincerely, Lisais48 | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/16/2006 12:49:09 AM | Why would one carry a torch for one that's not right for them, unless it's to set them ablaze, which shortly after would dim? I could carry a torch, but prefer matches. Matches don't last as long and when they run their course, your fingers get burned and you drop it.
If shyt feels bad, that's your soul's way of saying, STOP THAT. If someone hurt you and you continue to romance about it, do this; Turn on your stove. Pull down your pants. Sit on the hot stove. Now remain...... Cant do it can you? Good, don't try and sit on the face of one that burned you. There is nothing sacred about it. Nothing to be cherished. It stems from lack of living your grander self. There is no other reason to whoo over that which leaves you. Unless you find yourself, in having a loss.
Sorry, Huh? My grandma wanting to type something. Don't hold the above against me. Thanks. | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/16/2006 1:52:31 PM | Just had to jump in and ask for myself...........how do you put the torch out?? My wife took a lover over a year and a half ago and left me and our little boy. She says she is madly in love with him and so I shell out the money for divorce, get custody, and child support (just the order, she doesn't pay) So after all this time and numerous NO'S to my pleas for her to come back to us, why is it one can't "let go"??? I still think about her every day and don't want her income tax returns, her wages garnished, her to lose her drivers license, etc. for not paying....I still only want her back. I torture myself knowing she is over at "his" moldy shack having wild sex etc, but I can't not stop wanting our family back together. I go up and down on the rollercoaster of feelings but always end up wanting her still. I've been tol...she doesn't want you, give it up!!! I know it's true, but I keep on wanting her??? How do you give up on the love of your life?????  | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/17/2006 12:38:37 PM | I think its called put the torch in the back of your mind....(no drunk dialling neither)... find someone new and accept your lot in life... that is what i have done.. minus the "somone new"
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sola06
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Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/17/2006 8:00:23 PM | | I know exactly what you mean. I'm 36 years old now and when I was 14 I fell in love with someone. Wow I still love that man. I have since married, had kids, divorced. But this guy is still in my heart and always will be. And the funny thing is that he feels the same way about me too. The only reason we never got together was because when I was 14 he was older than me and my grandmom found out and threatned to put him in jail so I had to break it off with him. After that I saw him several times but we had to go in different directions in life because of the age difference. I haven't seen him since 1994 but I know that if we see each other again we will both probably get teary eyed and hug the heck out of each other. Yeah I know how you feel I gave him my heart in 1984 and he will always have it no matter what. (I love you Grillo where ever you may be) | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/17/2006 10:21:14 PM | | Yeah, still can feel my stomach flip-flop whenever I hear his name; my good friends know better to ever speak it. Just hope that I can let go of the torch before it burns me.... | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/18/2006 9:14:48 AM | | funny how a person can be with dozens of people but when they say "my ex" it ALWAYS means the same person. i still carry a metaphorical torch for my ex. and its not great because we both drive VERY distictive vehicles and we see eachother from a mile away when we're out driving. i have no idea what goes through her head, but i can tell ya every single time i see her my guts jump up into my throat. i usually manage a good hearted wave as i drive by. but for the next hour i feel like i just drank a pot of coffee. she has no idea how i feel. my stupid fu**ed male pride stopped me from fixing the situation until it was too late. so i took the big freaking rock i had almost paid off (was going to ask for her hand the next month) and cashed it in and bought a truck. and hated myself for not fighting a little harder to keep her ever since.. that was a year and a half ago.. and it STILL hurts to see her.. oh wait, is that a torch or a mental condition?.. i dunno either way thanx for hearing the short PG-13 version of my story.. | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/18/2006 1:50:27 PM | | Yeah, my new ex carries a torch for her ex-husband. Now I carry a torch for her... Still a chance, but I know that there comes a time when you have to move on. It's different with us, though, in that it's not that we "could not work" or that we are wrong for each other. in fact, things could work, it would just take both of us owrking for something, rather than just me. I love her, but I recognize that once the time has come, I need to find someone else. She'll always regret it, especially if she continues to seek only the kind of men who will mistreat her. But that will do me little good, I know, and I do hope that she will find happiness if she passes up the opportunity to be with me. But as for now, yes, my torch burns brightly... | |
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| Carrying a torch? Anyone out there still carry one?
Posted: 9/18/2006 2:25:05 PM | Yes, I still think about her every once in a while. I finally asked around to find out what she was up to. Found out she's "sleeping around" a lot even though she's engaged to her new boyfriend.
In short, things and people always change and sometimes its probably better that things didn't work out. But I guess when you loved someone you always tend to ask yourself.... "What if??" | |
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