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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 9:09:00 AM | rustytraveler, I can't disagree with you about many of the older men in society and their characteristics. Many don't know what having a life is all about and they are expecting a women to provide a home for them and nurture them. The whole point is that men and women just don't seem to be able to fill the nitch that the other is looking for. I suspect this is having an entirely different set of values and goals for our remaining years. This seems to be more prevalent as we age and develop our personal lifestyle.
Please note that I didn't include all people, male or female, in the characteristics I presented. In general, IMHO, we can divide older people into 2 camps.......those who are content to live a more quiet, homey lifestyle and those who live a much more outgoing, vivacious lifestyle. The 2 certainly are not compatible.
I know lots of smart, active adventurous women. I know a few but they are the minority in our age group. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 10:08:54 AM |
Ooops! Of course I know that the ladies are in no way attempting to market themselves.......
...Of course not.....* as she hides the string of pearls behind her back*
...maeflowers
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:12:13 AM | 1. A large majority are at least 10% overweight. Many are overweight to where it affects their health or ability to participate in life.
But, other than extreme situations, I don't think you can KNOW that simply by looking at a woman,and I would have to say that "participate in life" would be a subjective standard. Don't ask for a woman capable of running the Boston Marathon unless you can run it too.
2. Many subscribe to outdated societal mores and norms.
define "outdated." Some of our concerns are very much to do with our personal safety and sexual health.
3. Many are insecure and require regular emotional support to feel worthwhile. hmmm, seems to me there are a lot of insecure young women, and I've also encountered a lot of men who are so insecure that they don't even dare let dating/romance/love into their lives. They're afraid it would be too costly in terms of time, energy and emotion.
4. Many place their relationship with children and grandchildren above their social life or any SO.
Good Gawd A'mighty! These children came from her body! And I suspect that many mature women who find themselves single going into the alleged "golden years" know EXACTLY where to place their faith in terms of who's most likely to be there for them in advanced age. And it ain't on a social life or a boyfriend/SO.If a man feels threatened by a woman putting her own children and grandchildren first,umm...what was that about insecurity??
5. Many lack self confidence which affects their ability to participate in society. I guess I'd have to have clarification of "participate in society"... I see TONS of mature single women who are working, or who put in a lot of volunteer hours. In my voting precinct this past Novemeber, the election workers were largely older single women. But maybe you think 'participate' in society means out cruising the bars looking for men?
6. Many prefer a quiet night at home over the noise and drama of a night out on the town. And many strive for a balance. I will grant that many older women are reluctant to go out clubbing by themselves, and unlike very young women, are far less likely to have a 'gang" of friends who will go with them.
7. They will not casual date someone who they do not consider "long term" material. There are women, AND men of all ages who don't much care for "casual" or "serial" dating,and would consider dating someone just for light entertainment to be a form of dishonesty.
8. There willingness to try and experience new things is limited. Did it ever occur to you that some of this "limited willingness" might be due to such things as self awareness and common sense?
9. Most are constrained by what others in society may think of them.
Are you sure this is the real issue, or do you assume that a single woman of a certain age should not presume to have STANDARDS?
10.
They are better cooks and home makers than dancers and lovers.
Is this comment based on any actual RESEARCH, or just your supposition based on a marriage that you may well be dissatisfied with? This much I CAN tell you, I don't get any complaints about my cooking or my loving from those I chose to share those abilities with.
When was it that you decided those grapes must be sour?
Cindy O
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 12:32:30 PM | Oh yeah right, easy to proposition the old goat with gettin' "done" when she's probably 6000 miles away .... keeps it safe ay?   Talk, talk, talk all I get is fricken talk...
no wonder I'm cranky all the time. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 1:51:41 PM | merci,monsieur,je pense ca aussi...
Rearguard,just for fun,go look at some men's profiles,including your own..you don't even offer a picture of yourself..and your attitude stinks...you don't offer much I'll tell you,not even an interesting profile...so,basically I'd pass you over,unless you fell down in front of me...most men are very precise about what they want and what they won't tolerate..more so than women on here..check it out yourself..and,you haven't answered my question...so,what should we be offering?...frankencense and myrhh?...what?..how about sex?..would you like that?...you and a million other guys so stand in line...I'm not marketing myself anymore than you are...only,personally,I always prefer ads with pics to catch my attention..I think I've done a pretty good job at marketing myself,or at least I've been told...anymore,and you have to open the book or come in the store...ROFLMAO...or on here,should I have written,for those baser men,cum in the store?????...if you have a beef to pick..c''mon out with it...stop hiding behind sentences like..OOPS! Of course I know that the ladies are in no way attempting to market themselves...what kind of a snide remark is that?...I like a man who can communicate his thots..not nit pick and run away...so,du bist nicht ein mensch...I don't care about your university degree..lots of people have them..me included...all that does is give you legal right to overcharge....it's what you do with your brains that counts...how handy are you??? talking about attributes...how honest are you?...how kind are you???...how important is integrity and honour?...can you hammer and nail?..change the oil in my car?...take care of the finances?...juggle jobs?....that's the kind of stuff I'm interested in....Igot a university degree...a couple matter of fact....what do you do with that degree?...do you help poor people,belong to any association that values the spiritual side of man...what good things have you done today for anybody?....Merry Xmas... | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:18:56 PM | Mr pluger60,
Just curious--
When was the last time you invited a 60 + gal to join you for any event? Since you don't patronize bars, just as many of us don't, where DO you go to meet the ladies?  | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:52:52 PM | OzarkHermit:
Agree with your comments, except for the menopause problems.
I have plenty of desire, enjoy sex, but not on the third date, even when you start the foreplay the morning of the day before. I'm well over 60. It's not a joke or a thing to be toyed with in my mind. Too much going around these days to play games. It should be cherished between 2 people in commitment to each other, with love. Otherwise, it's a roll in the hay or a trade off for dinner?? No thanks. I'm worth more than a night on the town I can afford to pay for myself
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/25/2008 12:04:55 AM | Cashe101:
Gaddflye:
But you forgot the boat, the Harley, & the spelling test!
Joking aside: You kept to the subject matter, which seems to get lost in here while we enjoy our daily humor.
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/25/2008 9:03:09 AM | Welcome ladyc4; I haven't seen a post by you lately. I'll agree that there may be a little bad wine in my life but that doesn't change the observations.
1. 8, 10, 12 %; hard to tell the difference. 20% + becomes obvious.
Participate in life = active participation such as bowling, dancing, swimming, etc.
2. Attitude: I can't call a man, I can't go out alone, I can't ask a man out - all outdated!!
3.
They're afraid it would be too costly in terms of time, energy and emotion. This is the problem I see, the cost is too high. Has nothing to do with insecurity and all to do with value received.
4. There is a difference between putting their needs first and letting them run your life. Yes they belong in your life and schedule but not the only thing. When babysitting for your grandchildren comes before a dinner party, that is not balance!
5. Not what I call participating and bar hopping isn't it either. How about a tour of Egypt or community theatre or a winter cruise by themselves.
6. So they sit at home, not by choice but by circumstance? How about the theatre or an art gallery showing - still too risky to do alone?
7. What do you call it when a male friend invites you out to dinner if not a casual date? I really don't think the term "dishonest" applies.
8. Stuck in a rut!! I'm sure if I spent an afternoon with you, your lifestyle would provide new experiences for me. We all need to take the risk and experience new things.
9. The line that comes to mind: "Dance like no one is watching".
10. No, this is not based on my personal life, mostly from these forums and profiles.
Lady, from your profile and postings you have made, these comments probably don't fit you well and we tend to choose our friends so that they have similar outlooks on life as we do. I would not expect them to fit most of the people you spend your time with. Look at a random selection of older female profiles on here. Look around you as you travel and observe the mature ladies. You are not all the same, some live their lives and some live through others and some don't live. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/25/2008 9:52:12 AM | Yes, it is all about selling oneself. We do that in our profiles, the way we dress, the manners we display in public; you name it about how we live our lives, and that is the sales pitch.
This thread was started in an attempt to identify what older men are looking for and there have been many postings. There seem to be some common characteristics that we old farts are looking for in ladies:
1. Low drama, someone who can manage their life without a new disaster every day.
2. Financial stability, someone who can live within their means.
3. Fun to be with; can bring a little joy and laughter into our lives.
4. Good attitude; a positive outlook on life.
5. Enough intellegence to carry on a conversation with substance.
6. Respect, someone who treats us as a human being and doesn't try to drag us down.
7. Sexuality, an appearance and attitude that shows you are a sexual person.
8. Independence, we are not willing to give up control of our lives anymore.
There are many more but are of a personal preference to each of us; I think most older men will agree with my 8 points. Sorry ladies, IMHO, if you can't demonstrate most of these 8 points, you have very little to offer. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/25/2008 2:53:49 PM | 10. They are better cooks and home makers than dancers and lovers.
I can cook several cusines. I teach dancing and I have been told that I am a wonderful lover. My IQ is sufficient to hold a good conversation on a number of subjects. I am not overweight by medical charts. I can hike all day, dance all evening and make love all night to the right man. I have a great attitude, I am a good friend but I am not a petite blue eyed 25 year old blonde...............so I am not what some 60 year old men want.
This is just a statement, not a defense of myself. I make no apologies for who I am. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/26/2008 9:29:34 AM | would someone please clarify what exactly "no drama" means?...maybe also how it relates to different age groups...say someone who is in their forties vs someone in their fifties or sixties?...like as per women?...from a man's point of view?
I know what the word drama means say as compared to a comedy...so,are men saying they want a comedian?...someone who just smiles all the time?...never has any serious thots?..or,do they really mean,some one who as no problems...period....like,don't worry be happy sort of thing?...isn't there drama in everybody's life? | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/26/2008 9:39:49 AM | | I don't think that there is any difference as to what women want as compared to the list above of what a man wants...personally,on talking to older men on here,they have just as much drama as women in that age bracket..most are financially bound up...they can't afford to travel or spend money on a date,they are worried about finances in their old age,they usually are giving money to their kids,and that is usually where the drama comes in,their kids,their ex wives,and just plain day to day living,and the other big drama is their health and their attitude toward women...most bear grudges to all women from former booboos in their relationships....they seem to want to talk about their dramas too but,they don't seem to want to hear about any from anyone else...and married men are hopelessly drama queens...all they want to talk about is their wives and kids and how they wish they'd all just go away... | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:09:00 PM | I have been trying to figure out what 60+ men want too! Let me tell you, when you get to be 67, the pool of available men has really dried up! I agree that most of them I have met on this and other sites are financially bound up. When I expect them to pay for the date, they fiddle and faunch with their wallets. What's up with that? They also want me to plan the dates, and I think they actually expect me to call them up and ask them on dates. Why all these passive men? I would have thought they were of the generation where men behaved as traditional men should....taking the initiative. I don't believe they were "all" beaten down by the feminists (I was a charter member of NOW, and I see what the consequences of some of those ideas have brought). I don't want to tell them what to do, but they don't offer anything....no ideas of activities. Am I just attracting those types?
Don't get me started on recent widowers. THAT'S another topic! | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:08:02 PM | I Love it!! One last romp!!
You are so realistic, but dont be too cynical.......you may a man who has alot more love to give even if it isnt years to give it.
Great post | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:04:37 AM |
would someone please clarify what exactly "no drama" means?...
Read your own posts. Looks like drama comes pretty naturally to you.
And, BTW, "thots" is usually spelt "thoughts" by those of us with piles of university degrees..... | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:14:39 AM |
"thots" is usually spelt "thoughts" by those of us with piles of university degrees.....
........and even by those of us who aren't academic snobs..............
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:19:36 AM | | there you go again...hit and run....substantiate instead of nit picking..is that the best you can do?..and,BTW,"spelt" is usually spelt "spelled" by those of us with piles of university degrees.....did you prove anything?did you answer anything?did you debate anything or add to my knowledge or question..??..no....so,what is your point?... | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:03:33 AM |
BTW,"spelt" is usually spelt "spelled" by those of us with piles of university degrees.....
Only if you are an American, which I am not. Check your Oxford Complete. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:31:37 AM | 9smiles wrote:
I have been trying to figure out what 60+ men want too! Let me tell you, when you get to be 67, the pool of available men has really dried up! I agree that most of them I have met on this and other sites are financially bound up. When I expect them to pay for the date, they fiddle and faunch with their wallets. What's up with that? They also want me to plan the dates, and I think they actually expect me to call them up and ask them on dates. Why all these passive men? I would have thought they were of the generation where men behaved as traditional men should....taking the initiative. I don't believe they were "all" beaten down by the feminists (I was a charter member of NOW, and I see what the consequences of some of those ideas have brought). I don't want to tell them what to do, but they don't offer anything....no ideas of activities. Am I just attracting those types?
I've dated several 60+ men (none from POF) and would make these observations. Some had had a wife that planned every single aspect of their social lives for the past 40 years, so no wonder they couldn't plan a date; I don't view that as passivity, because in their careers, they were very self-determining and successful, it's more a division-of-labor deal. Others would plan things that were not acceptable to me (a swinger's party?), but I had no difficulty re-orienting them. Finally, I do think some men of the generation in question were confused by the women's movement and are not sure how passive it is PC to be, even today.
As to the money, some people are just plain cheap and others like to spend prodigally and resent my insistence on paying some of the time - still talking about the 60+ crowd. I do think you can't categorize them all as tightfisted.
In general though, I would observe that men over 60 want to be taken care of. Even if they are in generally good health, they like and appreciate being cooked for, brought a drink, fussed over, and otherwise catered to. They want you to call them every now and then, and even send a gift of chocolates or bring over some gourmet cheese or whatever floats their boat. Whether they are worth this much effort to YOU - depends on the guy I guess, and how good the match is. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:35:48 AM | 9smiles,
I know a number of older gentlemen who certainly don't fall in your description but the last thing any of them are interested in is a LTR that affects their lifestyle. They are willing to entertain, spend money, and have many ideas of what to do in life and enjoy doing them. I don't think many of them will be tied to one woman and only if the woman lets them live a lifestyle they enjoy. Snagging an older man who has been comfortably on his own for a number of years is a difficult task and impossible if you think he is going to change his lifestyle for you. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:59:39 AM | Gee, sounds like a plan to me.
I'd like to keep my own life style as well. He can have all day for golf & watching his games or whatever he prefers. I enjoy a job, my volunteer activities, doing things with my girl friends once in awhile, a few board meetings, an afternoon of Bridge, cooking, cleaning and whatever, without having someone monitor my every move.
I enjoy doing some projects without being told I'm doing it the wrong way, as my husband would push me aside & take over. I used to wait to do those things until one of his golfing jaunts. Complete everything while he was gone, & all was great! I don't mind being helped, but not shoved aside. I learned from my failures too. Sometimes even created a winner with my experimenting.
I'm not looking to take a prisoner. I'm hoping to enhance a partnership. | |
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| What do men 60 plus want?
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:09:38 AM | according to Oxford Complete:
rear⋅guard /ˈrɪərˌgɑrd/ –adjective
2. designed to oppose or prevent in a defensive way
It speaks volumes. Merci............. | |
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