| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:41:09 AM | I dont think its dead just hiding in sheer fright - wouldnt you if each time you appeared someone was rude in return...........................................................
I think if you are open to it chivalry will open the doors for you. I encounter as many nice people as I do ones that are not so nice..... And yes I do open or hold doors for others kindness goes both ways. | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:11:33 AM | Sometimes I think it is dead and other times not. I have had a lad help me once with a flat tyre on the side of the road which was handy as I had no jack and the car was perched on a hill and I must have had a look of 'how the f*ck am I gonna fix this'
The feminist movement has stomped on alot of it so now we open our own doors and like it!! We cant have it both ways......well you can have a door swing both ways and yeh.......you know what I mean.
For me personally Im just as equal as a man, have a job, earn money, run a house and do everything a guy can do in the world but lift heavy weight. Why should I have a man pay for everything, direct me about, shuffle me here and there and be chivalrous when really we are equal. Whoever gets to the door first, open the bas*ard!! Geeeeeez. Its no big deal. The toilet seat is up, put it down. Nothing to blow a vein over. I have gone out on dates where the guy pays for everything and it ticks me off big time. So to counteract that next time we go out, I pay!!
Equally if a man pays for a meal or opens a door Im not going to bite his head off either if that is his thing then so be it but I make it clear that its not my thing so we agree to disagree. Im a bit of a tomboy too and was bought up in a mans world so trying to be a demure lady is sometimes hard for me but Im sure not going to bludgeon Mr Nice to death with a shifting spanner either for being chivalrous.......good luck to him for taking me on. | |
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| Chivalry's not dead its on the couch where you made her sleep...
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:38:53 AM | Yes, its dead, I buried it yesterday in my backyard.
Actually no.. its not dead. Its alive and doing well.
Was at the service station the other day, and a lovely man gave me a discount docket. Took a male friend to see the doctor and he carried my computer back to the car for me. Went to work and the guys carried all the paperwork upstairs for me.
Yes I do have arms. Yes I did say thank you. Keep it up guys. You're doing a fantastic job and I for one appreciate feeling special. | |
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| Chivalry's not dead its on the couch where you made her sleep...
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:28:39 AM | Good on you shell225.......................... I agree!
Its not about being equal - I am tomboy (do male and female jobs in my household always have) . For me its about manners and respect if a guys likes me enough to pay for the meal I will accept with grace and may return the favour at some stage. | |
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| Chivalry's not dead its on the couch where you made her sleep...
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:05:01 AM | shell225 - true!
Its a lesson my Dad taught me a long time ago when i was 12 - he opened the car door for me (like he still does for Mum and I) I told him I could do it myself and received the shortest remark about him being polite and having manners and I should just accept that.
Its Dads fault I'm single - never found a man to match up! Or so I tell him. | |
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| Chivalry's not dead its on the couch where you made her sleep...
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:27:48 AM | Well, considering Kylie Minogue was just knighted, then I guess it's not.....
Then again, considering chivalry was always the epitamy of Knights and their acts of gallantry towards women, then maybe it has died and been resurrected in some new form.... | |
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| Chivalry is indeed dead...or dying...
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:55:31 AM | I've met many men who have the most wonderful social graces. Proper etiquette, good manners, who hold themselves together well, who pay for the first day and open every door and then some for you.
They are not always the most exciting men, either ;P
However, it is nice to have a door or two opened once in a while, or a "no, no, i insist, let me get the check." It doesn't have to be excessive, but once in a while it's a good reminder that maybe, just possibly, the man might be interested in you, and NOT only that, they respect you. What a beautiful thing!
It's surprising, and I'm a pretty independent woman, but as I get older, I do tend to the think that this "chivalry" thing, not in excess, however, is fading. Women's lib? My feminist mother even agrees that respect is gained and returned when these small things happen. I just hope men out there don't think they're obligated, but sometimes ignoring these courtesies is just as annoying as the on a date "wandering eye"!!!
If it's dead, I'll just accept it. Or revive it. Do I have to do the job of the chivalous man now, too? Fine. I'm woman enough. | |
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| Chivalry is indeed dead...or dying...
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:58:34 AM | I love opening car doors for women. Carrying their parcels. Helping them to be seated in restaurants. Letting them choose the wine. Placing them on pedestals to idolize. Listening to what they have to say. Being strong for them when they can't. Whispering sweet nothings in their ear for no reason at all. Trusting them. Winking at them across a room. Refusing to treat them as equals, for I value them more than men. Their feminism, their caring, their intellects, the very soul of what they are.
We're a dying race...... us chivalrous, chauvanist pigs. | |
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| Chivalry is indeed dead...or dying...
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:46:56 PM | I don't think it is dead, not even dying, or even suffering from ill health.
Clivalry is alive and well. But, sometimes acting tough in front of ones mates seems more important than impressing the lady.
A true gentleman will always, without fail, at least try to be romantic to his lady. | |
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TLC_
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Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 91 | |
| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:12:06 AM | Is Chivalry dead....Not dead, but on the endangered list.
While some guys form the past few decades think mach crap is the way to go, don’t forget some women are also the cause of its demise....
Some women with there ‘i don’t need a man in my life’,
Don’t need the door opened for me I got my own hands,
I know where to sit; I don’t need the chair pulling out for me….
And they are just a few.
Some women in the past dew decades have killed chivalry just as much as some men. | |
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4rum
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Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 92 | |
| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:58:40 AM | Two definitions of chivalry pertaining to this thread are -
1. qualities of ideal knight: the combination of qualities expected of the ideal medieval knight, especially courage, honor, loyalty, and consideration for others, especially women
2. chivalrous behavior: considerate and courteous behavior, especially shown by a man toward women
In respect of the above, in my world, I'm lucky to say 'yes, it does exist'.
A man in my life was a soldier. The nature of his career encompassed the qualities of #1 especially bravey and loyalty.
#2 - He never ever swore around women although I know he did around his men. He did all the gentlemanly things such as open doors, walk on the outside on the footpath, hold my chair when I sat down...all these things made me feel feminine.
Now I'm not saying all soldiers are chivalrous. It's something his mother is greatly responsible for. | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:48:54 PM | If chivalry is dead, it's because women killed it.
I know guys who would open doors for women... but have been abused for doing so, got the whole 'female equality' rant. I'm happy for a man to be chivalrous and will happily open doors for them too... Have even bought flowers for a guy... That, to me, is equality. Courtesy , politeness, manners... Why abuse a guy for being courteous?
And if someone has been told off for being courteous, I can understand their reluctance to keep doing those things.
I do feel a bit sorry for men these days, they have no idea what is acceptable behaviour.. there is no longer a stock standard code. | |
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twkarl
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Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 94 | |
| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:03:03 PM | | Chivalry is alive and doing well here in south Alabama, we wave at people as we ride down the road, we hold doors open for ladies and the elderly. When I go out on a date I open the car door, and will usually pick up the bill unless it is pre arranged that we go dutch or she elects to pay her own way.I thought it was dying out here until this past weekend I went to a concert . There was over 11000 people there and I heard more yes sir , yes maam , no sir and no maam's than I have heard in a long time. people older and younger were just being polite to each other . Now I will admit it is a rarity in larger cities , and in the northern United States. However occasionally chivalry can still be found there , just have to look a little harder. | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:47:36 PM | Chivalry isn't dead, it's been beaten into submission by feminism and political correctness!! There are a few rebels out there (like me) who dare to keep this long forgotten art alive.
I once was walking along the street and noticed an old lady struggling with an airconditioner on her front verandah. (it was the time of the year when you dump your junk on the street and the council comes to pick it up) I stopped, wondering if she thought I would be trying to rob her or something if I helped. But I just yelled out if she would like me to take this to the street for her and she very happily accepted. She thanked me profusely and I said no problem this is my good deed for the day, we laughed and I went on my way. I hope, by doing things like this people will not give up on humanity!! | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:05:05 AM | good on u d.s! to all the blokes who do hold doors open for women, only to get a frosty stare in return, just remember the grateful look on the stressed mum,s face when u offer to carry her pram up the stairs with a nice smile as a reward! or the blush on the grandmother,s cheeks when u offer her ur seat on a crowded bus! chivalry is a way of life for many of us more mature guys+ i, for 1 wouldnt have it any other way! | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:00:32 AM |
to all the blokes who do hold doors open for women, only to get a frosty stare in return, just remember the grateful look on the stressed mum,s face when u offer to carry her pram up the stairs with a nice smile as a reward! or the blush on the grandmother,s cheeks when u offer her ur seat on a crowded bus!
To be honest, it's not really worth it. Public embarrassment and being made to feel like you've done something wrong when all you were trying to do was help out are real downers for me. | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:37:14 AM | | i have never had a problem with chivalry.....i have never had a women say anything but thanks with a warm smile.......like today in the bakery a woman dropped a coin and i picked it up for her as her hands were full and she was appreciative. I have kept doors open and waited for people to walk through and they have been nothing but polite.......luckily i have never came across women with that attitude otherwise i might get disheartened by it all hehe | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/20/2008 7:57:03 AM | I think the act of chivalry is performed by two different people:
1) Those who have a nature of chivalry
2) Those who do acts of chivalry
For me, chivalry must come from the depths of your own heart and having a nature to do acts of kindness and service for others.
A man who does acts of chivalry will open a car door for his date.
A man who has a nature of chivalry will open a car door for his date; pull the seat belt for her; handing the end for her to click into place; and then closes the door gently after she has settled.
Chivalry should not be a means for acquiring favour, but a favour by any means.
If there’s any one thing women want most it would have to be respect. Having respect means that as men we sometimes need to shut-up and listen when a woman speaks, not make excuses, not find solutions to whatever problems, and not be distracted with other things going on around us.
With respect, chivalry takes on a new purpose. It ceases being an action for the benefit of personal gain and becomes an action for showing honour to another.
Just my two cents :) | |
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| I's Chivalry dead???
Posted: 6/20/2008 8:11:43 AM |
A man who has a nature of chivalry will open a car door for his date; pull the seat belt for her; handing the end for her to click into place; and then closes the door gently after she has settled.
I'm sorry, but I don't think I know anyone who wouldn't be freaked out by that. It's just a little much, don't you think? | |
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