| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:54:49 PM | | Yep. It may have been puppy love (early high school), but my family moved away and I decided it was best not to string him along through a long distance thing. We remained friends for years after the fact. I attended his wedding some years ago, and though we've lost touch since then, I hear he's got two little ones now. His wife seemed really sweet, so I wish them both the best. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:00:36 PM | | Yes. I am not sure what will happen to him but I hope he is able to get better and realize that in life we must be held accountable for our actions. I also hope he realizes that living with hate in your heart is not a way to live. Life is too short. I wish him true peace. | |
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NYinNM
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 253 | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:20:09 PM | | This is a true exercise in courage as well as love. It's interesting because love should be a thing of freedom, not of enslavery or control. It's a very good test of how much you really love someone, to let them go when you know it will be the best for THEM and not for YOU. Primo question, bravo. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:27:56 PM | If I loved someone who also loved me back and he was a nice person with whom I got along very well, I would do anything for him. I do not think I would let him go nor would I go because of anything insignificant that could be worked out, such as moving away, different schedule, etc. However, if he loved someone else, I would not want to be with him nor would I ever want him back. He could not make me happy with his partial love, if it could even be called love; he has to love me with all his heart to make me happy.
It is interesting how we are looking for love and at the same time when it seems we might have it, we do not understand and appreciate its importance and significance in our lives, nor do we try as hard enough as we should to see if it is really what we have been looking for…many just say, "It was not meant to be;" however, it just does not make sense to say that...well, I say that too sometimes!!! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:14:31 AM | yes.....and sure does hurt.
what happened to me is, he started to make excuses by not seeing me. or have time to see me..after 4mos in a relationship..things like his busy with work ..working on the weekend..but he constantly send text messages and love assurance by phone...i trust and respect what his doing coz i believe that's approriate to do....then after another 3mos ...a girl called me..saying them are together and planning to have a baby...she called coz she found out the love messages he sent me on his phone....2 days a go....gezzzzz...eventhough im devastated i told her...to not worry about me...and that i will not be the problem..and that i wish them goodluck...i sent him a text messages saying his gf called and he should straighten up...funny life is...you pick up the pieces and move on. and let the guy suffer the guilt and pain inside....what goes around comes around i guess | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:12:55 AM | Yes, I would let him go at anytime if he wanted to go because of anything that he thinks or I feel he might be happier with someone else or just without me; however, if he did, that would not be a love at all and I would be glad that he is gone and such an insufficient love with such a person is over and that would be the end of the story; celebration follows of course!!!
However, if he wanted to leave or I wanted to leave because of an insignificant reason or a significant one without even trying to see if that would be the best decision for both, then, there was never a great love at the first place and its' end should be celebrated!!!
Also, if he would be happier with anyone else, then, of course, he would not love me with all his heart and that would not have been true love in the first place anyway. Therefore, that would not be a big loss anyway because there was no great love ever. It is only when you both agree that because of some significant unfortunate circumstances beyond anyone’s control you would be happier if not together.
Door is open for him to leave at anytime, but if he left for some insignificant reason and the consequences and options have not been discussed in details, if it was a significant reason, then door is never open for him to come back!!!
Well, there was never a true love that ended from me. It was more of celebrations of ending bad relationships with non-deserving people. I just might regret the time it took for such a person to leave!!! ...should tell him to leave, if he wishes to do so, ASAP!!!
It would have to be a great enough relationship, with a great enough person, with a true love from both sides, and with uncontrollable circumstances that ended our relationship that I would truly think of it as a loss and not a big reason for a huge celebration!!!
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:28:38 AM | | ...and, of course, I am trying to become more of an expert in ending bad relationships with non-deserving people myself ASAP... ...can't waste my lifetime with wrong people!!! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:11:13 PM | Yes, I have had to do this with a woman who very well may have been the love of my life. She had a career opportunity that she'd been waiting for since she was a teenager and I wasn't about to stand in the way of someone's lifelong dream. Even though I did the right thing by being supportive and all that, it still hurt like a m*th*rf*ck*r.
What became of her . . . she's an RCMP officer in B.C. We still talk on the phone a couple of times a month and I imagine we will be friends for the rest of our lives. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:54:11 PM | | Yes. When I love someone, I want them to be happy and that doesn't necessarily mean with me. There are a million and one reasons this could be the case. Not that sometimes it doesn't hurt like hell. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:33:03 PM | Yip I have....... but I didn't realize what I was doing nor what I wanted at that time.
I shouldn't have let him go. I've never found anyone else like him since......... I guess if he is for me he will come back to me! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:43:05 PM | Yes, and when I let them go I gave them the option to keep in touch with me or not (their choice) and they chose not to. So I never heard from him again. No emails, no phone calls, no acknowledgement of my Christmas card. If you love someone enough to let them go, you shouldn't expect that they will keep you in their heart because maybe you were never there to begin with. I found out that love may not always be equal -- and I'm ok with that. The next person who I give my heart to will have to earn it.
What became of him: he moved in with a new gf, working as a doctor somewhere in New Mexico and that's about as much as I know. Is he happy? I sure hope he is.
If someone truly loves you, nothing can keep them away -- if they don't, nothing you do can make them stay. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:58:38 PM | | Yes. And I did my best to make her understand what I was doing and why. But she never did believe me. To this day I guess she thinks she did something wrong or I just fell out of love with her. It took some time but we both finally moved on with our lives. She's been happily married for quite awhile now and has a family. I bump into her maybe every 3-5 years and we're like old friends. That whole ordeal is still fresh in my mind and even though it really sucked, I'm still convinced that there was no other choice and that I made the right decision. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:09:02 PM | Yes I have. Here's my story....
I met a great guy on this site. We chatted on the phone for two months before we actually met. Then we met and it was wonderful. He is the smartest man I have ever talked to, and one of the funniest.
Unfortunately he wanted more out of the relationship than I was willing to give.
Marriage, committment, me moving to where he lived...
Even 'tho I loved him and still do, I had to let him go to find the ONE that would eventually fulfill his wants and dreams.
We still call eachother on the phone and I will always carry a unique love for this man. I still consider him to be one of my best friends ever. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:49:02 PM | "And then the day came
when the pain it took
to hang on
was far greater
than the pain it took
to let go."
Given to me by a therapist. I started to love and value me enough to let myself go. It wasn't easy. I loved him but he was bad news. Now that's a twist on the question, isn't it? | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:05:13 PM | I loved my ex husband til the day he died... married 13 years, three beautiful kids, great job, custom home, everything i could've ever dreamed of... but, he couldn't stop drinking... inpatient, outpatient twice... three years later... two kids suffering from depression, things other can only understand if you've lived it, and some abuse toward me which turned my lead stomach to throwing up one day when he came home unexpectedly....
Promised myself, I would give it all I had, till there was nothing left to give, so I could walk away without regrets. And, told the kids, when it gets bad enough we'll leave, cause this isn't normal....
Days later, my youngest son... looked up at me, said, it's time to go mom... broke my heart, but he was right... I couldn't believe or trust their dad any more... And, he deserved that... He was a good, smart, loving, man, but, he couldn't stop... He had been drinking since around 12 years old....
They said he was a genius in his field. He made plenty, didn't want me to work. I felt blessed, to be able to treasure every day taking care of them... What a joy it was, to read, play, talk, and hold them all I wanted. Not having to worry about feeding them... ...No job, Stupid maybe, but I wouldn't trade those years for anything.... filed for divorce, sold the home we built...
He lost his job, broke my heart, hoped he would get it together for the kids...
Ten years later, he owed $53,000 in childsupport, but I cried like a baby when our oldest son called to say their dad died alone at 48 years old..Memorial Day weekend... I used to get it and Labor Day confused...
I really thought about writing this, am I sharing too much information... but, if it touches just one person's life, to help them turn their life around... then it is worth telling.... cause when he was younger, getting help, was so much easier. Years later, I heard he had convulsions, who knows what else, when he tried to quit..... so very sad...
Yes, leaving took all I had, no family support, just memories of my deceased father, always telling me I could do anything, how much he loved me and how beautiful I was. So, with that, God's help, many many angels... We survived! Three grown, college educated, no hurry to marry adults 20, 23, & 24 great jobs, one's even worked at the parliment!   | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:20:18 PM | Yes I did...still talk to each other...were married for 25 years and he decided I was not what he had in mind for his later years. Overheard him telling his brother that I would be just fine without him and he had to move on. Sooooooo....I let him move on. Now he says he misses everything we had and wishes he had never said different. Impossible to turn back the clock though.    | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:32:34 PM | Yes. It was hard as hell and took me years to recover. She never forgave me either. She wanted something from me religiously that I could not provide and her family did not approve of me for her for the same reason even though they liked me personally, etc.. We were head over heels in love and could not face the music of the reality of the situation, but finally I made the choice for us.
Ah to be 28 again......... | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:29:25 PM | | I let mine go. He said he wasn't happy and I couldn't bear to have him be miserable. He wasn't miserable, just a drama queen. He tracked me down 3 years later to see how I was doing. He said he never has called anyone after a break up. We were friends for about 6 months after that. I kept my heart away from him and used his body for all it was worth. I felt it was what he deserved after killing me inside. He said I was the best girl he ever met, but it obviously wasn't enough for him. Then I moved. He is still single. Me too. I first met him 15 years ago. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:54:31 PM | yes i love d someone recently , thought everything was fine....quit my job, left my family and friends, moved three states away to be with her.... because i did not do all the things she felt a gentlmen would do for her love...she started demanding changes.
as time went on she started trippin on wrong answers...remember everything is fine except these mood swings... then comes the mood swings...you need to go home we are not compatible stuff
i say wait please give us a chance, we are still new to each othe r and need to connect with our first love....she would n't have any of it we are not compatible and you need to leave...it is thurs day so you have till friday to pack your bags and be gone leave and my heart is broken cause she is being completely unfair
i get home , my friend sand family are astonished as to why she booted me and why i was such a loser cause its all out of my hand but now that i have left and starteed to settle in my community she starts freakin and writng emails say how sorry she is and can we try again
well after a cold hearted get out!!!!!! i left mad, hurt, and shocked
after a few days she is on my computer whining a bout what she had just done...i said maybe we could recapture the missing link with rendevous....then she wanted me to go right back up there and marry her cause ...she can't kick out her husband
i said no ...she tripped out futher slamming me again and i said good bye. bottom line i couldnot change te mind set she had and she was always right in the way she thouhgt
i miss her....i love her....but i can never trust which woman would come run the show this was a very sad loss for me cause i loved her and could have been happily ever after if she were not mentally off center | |
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