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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:03:30 PM | It is the worst thing in the world to do. I had to let a guy go because he moved and had substance abuse problems. I let him go because I thought it was something he had to do and I was not going to get in the way of that.
I see him every few months when he comes home and we are as close as we've ever been. Like he always tells me if it were met to be, the oppurtunity will come back. But the last few years have been a rollercoaster ride full of hurt and happiness so I guess only the future can tell if were met or not to be with each other again. | |
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Rainee
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Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:19:04 PM | Yes, I have. It was incredibly painful, but had to be done.
My first love, my highschool sweetheart, the guy I thought I would always be with. It came down to us sitting in my car at the airport, where he was about to get on a plane to go be with his fiancee, and we talked about the past, and in the end, he basically asked me for permission to go.
I told him to go. He is now married, and I am happy for him, but I went home that day from the airport and cried my heart out. 
I don't regret it though... sometimes letting go is all you can do. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:30:33 PM | yes,my ex husband i had been in a relationship with for just over 17 years.
he and my stepson had some major and very serious issues to work out and i wasn't about to stand in the way of or impede my own safety anymore for even them or that process.
when he got on his knees and asked me to stay, he said he would do "anything" and "give" me anything i wanted if only i wouldn't leave. as if that would make me stay. he knew me better than that, but he was desperate, grabbing at straws, at anything, unconsolable. it hurt like hell knowing my leaving was so hurtful to him, and things got worse even...
he told me his son would only be around us a for only a few more years (my stepson was 16 at the time) and for me to please hold onto "us." but far too many negatives of some emotional/mental and physically dangerous goings on made me take my leave. my stepson was kicked out of spain for numerous illegal activities within a month of my doing so, and my ex has never forgiven me for having left. he claimed he lost both of us within a month, but i had to maintain my safety and in that relationship it wasn't secure that i alone could ensure that. i learned to become more assertive and respect myself for what i went through in the five years it took for our divorce process, that culminated in 97.
we still occasionally talk via phone long distance, a bit more often via emails, as he now is living in UK and remarried, stating unhappily so. he asked me to fly to see him in DC last fall to "talk face to face" when he flew there for work... but as he is a married man i asked if his wife knew he and i sopke and still kept in touch. when he answered truthfully, no i said, well, i won't do that to you, her OR myself.
i made my desicion, and i stick to it. i don't look back except for the memories and the frikken ptsd that rears it's ugly smelly head now and again. i regret nothing, and believe if people are honest with themselves every incident and desicion is for a specific reason if not multiple reasons.
for me, life is a forward process. memories are just that, memories.
but the future, ahh, THAT my friends holds many things, not the least which is possibilities... | |
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99c
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Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 30 | |
| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:34:00 PM | | That's how all my relationships ended. They weren't happy with me, so I let them go find someone better. It worked out great for them. It taught me not to put any stock in a woman's declaration of love, beyond the moment. I'm a stepping stone. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:47:07 PM | | I have, 33 years ago. Call me crazy, but I belive true love is with out end, I still think of her everyday, and ask God to send an angle to watch over her.But I go onwith my life no one close to me knows about my feelings, I know that I will never be complete Without her. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:18:50 PM | | I hear you juggernaut, loud and clear. It will be 30 years at the end of May since I let him go and it was definately the BIGGEST mistake of my life. There isn't a day since then that I have not thought about him. I was 22 he was 40, very wealthy and ran in all the social circles that I had no concept of. We were at the country club one night and while I was in the powder room, there were two other Ladies in there discussing us. I guess I shouldn't have listened, they were the reason I let him go. I figured I wasn't gentile enough or sophisticated enough or educated enough. At any rate I broke his heart, he never remarried, his sons still talk to me and give me hugs. But it is way to late..... he passed away 5 years ago. BIG.......HUGE......MISTAKE......to let someone go just because you THINK it MAY be the right thing to do. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:34:30 PM | BIG.......HUGE......MISTAKE......to let someone go just because you THINK it MAY be the right thing to do. sorry for your regretting your decision, mari-jeane, but in some cases it seems as if others were the reason for our own desicion. in my case i not only thought about it, i dwelled upon it, to the point i almost allowed it to totally and completely consume me to the brink of something not so pretty, but still, real and true.
for all of us the future is pregnant with infinite possibilities, but all for our choosing.
we are of the human condition, and sometimes only ourselves stand in our own way.
IF we can continue to believe,
IF we can muster up the courage to have faith that we are all exactly where we are meant to be for this very moment, in order to learn, grow and trust again,
IF we can dare to be open and honest with ourselves and others,
IF it is meant to be,
well, then please consider life is full of change and we never know
what beauty and love may lie ahead, spread richly, fully, beautifully in our future.
i so want to and can only believe the pain of the past will pale in comparison to what we may avail ourselves of in this, our individual and separate, yet not so very individual and separate journeys. oh, what may lie ahead, for those that dare dream! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:42:15 PM | | yes i have loved someone enough to let them go. the man i loved and still love is kind and gentle but he was worried about my finances { i have terrible exs that don't like to pay support and used my good credit} i think he was also looking for someone more sure of herself and around him i was not so sure i think it was because i was waiting to see if he would screw around or hurt me like the others and i didn't know where i stood with him in our relationship... now i know that even though he said he loved me he was not telling the truth and i have let him go to find a woman that makes more money and is more confident.. it does kill me to see him as i want to be with him but i will sirvive and hope to find my love some day | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 6:43:24 PM | | Sure did, No regrets, I could not be the person she wanted. She would have hated me, still have pleasent thoughts of her years and years later. We still talk, every five years or so. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 7:29:45 PM | | yes he and i broke up becouse he was emotionaly hert by his ex and felt he was not ready to commit to another with out healing his pain he said he could not give the 100% i deserved so we talked and he said to me if after his healed im still single he would come back he still loved me as i loved him and always will we still chated every night ect as always. it was not long after that he said he was asked to attend a wedding of his cousins in germany he said he wasnt going becouse of loads or differant reasons but i also knew he so desperatly wanted to so wile knowing it was wrong i told him to go i knew the day he left he would meet a lady over there who could heal his pain and make him extreamly happy and i knew him better than any one! he met a great lady who makes him truly happy and yes im sad im sad becouse it was not me who could help him, im sad becouse its not me who will be there for him any more, but im happy becouse he is happy he ment every thing to me and i know i will stand strong over my decision to beg him into going on his holiday becouse his happyness means more to me than any one could understand | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 7:34:06 PM | | Yes...I loved him, but i couldn't live with him...i have never agreed to see him since...no point in beating a dead horse...Once chance was all he got...because once chance to live my life was all i was given (It lasted 6 years) | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 7:38:01 PM | | I had to let him leave. He had to go. We're still close friends, after much fighting, drama and heartbreak since he came back. We now currently annoy the sh** out of each other, but it's truly hilarious. He's a good guy, but the right one is out there somehwere, but just a little bit different from him... | |
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a_lady
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Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 7:42:26 PM | | yes I have he was tony wilson 3 hours away from me 1/1/2 yrs ago..he owned his own everything.. he was willing to drive each weekend..etc..however we both had our own roots..and well..with many weeks of tears...I ended it..I'm not a (rush into marriage girl) nor am I a ho...so...I had to let him go for him..I foresaw it ending badly in time | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:09:48 PM | Absolutely...the love of my life....
He's a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in twenty years... had some substance issues as well, but hasn't done any narcotics in a few years...
He's never been to a 12 step meeting, just went cold turkey, but I know that conflict really pushes his buttons. Problem is, conflict is a natural part of any relationship; the ones that last are the ones where the couple learns to deal with their differences. Anyhow, I would rather love him from a distance than risk him falling off the wagon. These days, we're just really great friends. We talk on the phone about once a week, and see each other once a year. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:47:03 PM | Yes, I was married for 13 yrs to a very nice man a god giving man and thought my husband was so boring so I divorce him .
He let me go because he loved me so much he said.
I found another man and married him soon after around 4 months later, one who was Very loud , heavy drinker, fighter, wild person after 4 yrs of marriage to my 2nd husband who beat me, ran around with other woman I divorce him.
My 1st husband never married again always crying for me to please come back to him or find someone else he said that was nice to me, he was so scared that my 2nd husband would kill me. Soon after I said to my first husband I will come back to you I will divorce my 2nd husband. Then he told me something very painful , I am sick, I have brain
cancer and have 1 year to live that was on Dec.1995. He lived 4 months and died in April 1996 at the age of 46 yrs old telling me that I was the love of his life and his only wife And to please find someone who will be good to me. I carry that pain with me untill now. I'm still looking for that nice guy as of today. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:09:55 PM | | yes, as I knew deep within my heart he wished to walk another path and someone else would be better suited to walk that path him. I do seriously wish him every happiness. It was a very painful decision but a very needed one as we would have ended up not happy.... | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:14:21 PM | I read this poem once......... Unknown author
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
I hope you enjoy. I let go for the sake of her happiness........ I Loved but I wanted what was best for her. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:50:12 PM | In all honesty what choice do u have but to let them go.
Sometimes a friendship is far better than a relationship. In a relationship there is the possibility of the bickering of the petty stuff that eventually drive you nuts.
If there is a friendship, I think it's easier to put aside that bickering and enjoy being together with your friend.
I have had to let someone I love go. It was the best for the both of us, not really for myself but I could never keep someone that didn't want to be with me or was with me for false pretenses so in a way I didn't let them come back.
What happens now?
Right now I'm friends with his sister and he lives in Tazmania
We both in general know what's going on in each other's live but we respect each other's space. There are still unsponken words between us and maybe they'll be words that are never said but we each live our own lives. Connected but apart.
Sometimes there is the sadness of to have lost something that I had loved but it's a part of life. Part of the reality that we created for ourselves. Just the way the stone keeps rolling | |
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kursk
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Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:08:12 AM | I was 30 ..i was in love with an Italian girl and was on my last leave before i went overseas.We were in the the church of St.Johns in Rome..She worked at the Vatican,restoring the Cistine chaple long before the millenium celebrations.She said if i went to war she could not love me..there would be another who would,her supervisor..
breath is only taken in sips at those moments and i had to choose between duty and love
and that love meant betrayal of my fellow soldiers, or the betrayal of my love...I have never seen her since that day..ten years have passed and every now and then the memories come to the surface...usually at night,when i am alone..and i remember her face
or a kind word she had for me..Life moves on,i had heard through the grapevine that she had married a doctor..i lay in a hospital for a year with a shattered leg from a grenade...i had to let go,in my mind and heart and head..if i had not ..i would have gone insane from the pain ..It is not an easy choice giving up on love..but what are the alternatives? a life of recriminations? and self doubt?
They exist,to some extent..i saw a photo she had sent my sister as a christmas gift
i had to leave my family christmas as i was too overwhelmed with emotion..do you ever make the right choice? was it love that drove you apart? only our hearts can tell... | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:10:49 AM | | Ive done it befor. I was moving and he had lived in one spot for almost his whole life. It was like taking a fish out of water. I asked him to move with me,. and of corse he said yes. I was happy, I thought he was happy, but it turned out he wasnt. He had missed everything. He soon began to stop eatting and sleeping. I couldnt let it go anylonger. I had to make him move back. I couldnt stand to see him that depressed anylonger. It made me feel like I was doing something bad. I still love him. We talk everynow and agin. This all happened about 6 months ago. He says hes over it, but I still have feelings. Although I cant let that get into my life. Hes 800 miles away and theres nothing I can do. So Ive got to start over somewhere,. right? | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 8:57:17 PM | | i have,...was very difficult, but i did. we still keep in contact, but if he could see me now,..hmmm,..i'd think he'd be trying to be in more touch. i like it the way it is now, no strings, not much contact, but enough. his loss though,...the feelings are different now. | |
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I was disappointed but not saddened.
