| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:06:46 PM | I just want to thank each and every one of you for sharing what in most if not all cases, were painful stories to relive and retell.
I admire the strength it took for all of you to make the choice to let someone go for unselfish reasons ... I think it shows great character and compassion on your part.
My heart goes out to you all though the pain still lingers on. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:13:36 PM | vrb1955 I wanted to email you privately but your criteria limited me from doing so.
I just wanted to apologize for perhaps bringing up painful memories and thank you for sharing your story even though it was painful.
I'm sure he would be honoured. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:39:23 PM | to vrb1955: I too had to let go of my late-great husband after he died. I had the opportunity to get adjusted to this thought before he died; after diagnosis.
One day I actually said, "I'm moving on, but you can keep coming back, cause you're welcome here anytime and I need to keep open this line of communication".
You see, I never ever really let go of anyone that enters my life. They either remain friends because that's what I like, or not because that's what they need.
My current bf has had dreams about my late-great guy where they sort of duel it out, I think playfully. He has rung the doorbell (a habit of his after death) when the bf was there. I think this is acceptance, yet saying, be good to her 'cause I'm watchin' you.
Someone told me they think the dead cannot fully accend into heaven or cannot rest until we let them go. I think that train of thought works for them; but I like our past loves to hang around, just as long as it doesn't disturb their path.
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/30/2006 10:44:27 PM | I thought this was a good question but quite surprised how so many of you regret it saying it was your biggest mistake. Did we not let them go for a reason? Wasn't it for them and not for us? I did this once and it was the right thing to do. Not for me but for him.  | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:50:16 AM | | yes I have...hardest thing in the world to do...what happened to him...still not sure. But I go on remembering the good parts and letting go of the bad. I still hurt, but believe things will work out the way they are meant to be. Like the saying goes..."if you love something let it go, if it is meant to be, it will come back to you" something along those lines and I believe it to be true......sometimes love is just enough to make a relationship work! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:42:21 AM | | I too have had to deal with this situation. In my story the lady just decided I wasn't what she wanted in her life. Her excuse was over the age differance, I was 22, she was 28. Granted not a great differance, but it was to her. Still this was only the excuse she gave me, the real reason could have been anything, too poor, too ugly, wrong proffesion, ect ect. The result is , regardless of her reasons, she choose to leave. Perhaps I could have fought to keep her and I wonder to this day If I should have. Would I have been succesful or would I have made things worse. I will never know, but the last time I saw her, she was happy. i hold the memory that she was happy as proof of the right decision. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:52:54 AM | yes i have once...i had too...he wasnt capable of lovin me...he was still workin on his past issues an i had done that yrs before he came along. i came into his life in the middle of him findin himself again..didnt know it at the time ...but it wasnt easy either...i felt outta place most times..so instead of convincin him ...i had to leave to let him go bouts on his own journey. i was ready for another in my life..he wasnt...we were both on a different journey to our lives...i have no regrets meetin him...made me little wiser as to who i want in my life. if we are not emotionally... physically...an mentaly on the same level...then i back off. 
lettin go is never easy...but its part of movin on with life. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/3/2006 11:11:02 PM | | My new philosophy is if you really like someone, and someone else will make them happy, then be happy for them. Being jealous is just painful really. So give 'em a and wish 'em well. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/5/2006 11:37:26 PM | | I have only loved one guy in the past and I needed to let him go and this hurted so much not just me but both of us. He had some personal issues he needed to deal with; some growing up to do; I just know he is doing very well b/c he is not living in the same city as I am; he is with his familly. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 12:01:40 PM | | oh man,,, that was really tough to read i agree with you 100% i love him so much that i refused to let him go but then realized that it was all one sided so i decided to love MYSELF to let him go. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 1:11:34 PM | | Actually, yes. I did love someone once enough to let them go. We ended up together again, but I truly think he needed to go and "find himself", so to speak. It really hurt to do it, but I feel it helped us grow as individuals. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 1:20:16 PM | | Yes I have after 10 years of being with that person, I loved her very much and however she had a different agenda. I had to let her go so she can be happy. Its very hard and can be nerve wrecking. Its really about are you ever going to be really happy knowing that the other person is not. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 3:59:31 PM | | I have as well......We seemed perfect for eachother in every way..However, his ex came back into the picture and it all went downhill from there...I could tell that he was struggling as far as what he really wanted...So, I let him go...We left on good terms and are still good friends...He calls me once in awhile to check up on me and see how i'm doing..As much as it hurts me to talk to him, I dont ever let him know that...I think things are better the way they are and he knows that as long as i'm single..If he ever wanted to try again, i'd be there for him.......We had a bond that was unbreakable or at least I thought and I know that once he finds himself, he'll see what we had was the forever he had been looking for...... | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 6:20:35 PM | | Yes, I have once. I am glad I did. He moved out of state to go to college and at the time my reasoning was that I didn't want to be that many miles away when we were both so young, I didn't want him missing out on other opportunitys. Reality is that temptation will be there and I'd rather hear about it being his friend, then his girlfriend. I later realized it was one of the smartest decisions I have made. While he was dating me he quit smoking, quit doing drugs, and cut back on drinking to keep our relationship. The second I let him go he went right back to that lifestyle. I don't want to live with that, knowing the second we have a bad argument, he'll be right back at it. I am not getting paid to be his counceler, he should quit because he wanted to, and I learned that wasn't why he did it. Point it, yes, and I am glad I did. | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 8:43:11 PM | Yep, I sure did. And she left, too, for (of all things) her ex... 
GOD it made me feel good to hear that they got married...
And then four months later, DIVORCED.... 
And now she's SINGLE again!!!  | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/6/2006 8:53:35 PM | I have and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
My now ex, he was having a hard time... couldnt find a place to stay other than in a hostle (couldnt stay with me cause my dad doesnt like him at all), was have a just a plain bad spurt in his life, i was doing the best to help him but it just wasnt working. Then he moved out to Hamilton to be with me, he got a job, and got an apartment, and then also picked up his old bad habit with drugs... and im not talking about like the "soft" drugs like weed or shrooms etc, but like the completely WRONG kind of drugs, so that was just making things more difficult. So anyways things just started going downhill from there, he was spending all of his paychecks on that shit, decided to move out of his apartment and move in with a buddy because it would be cheaper for him, but at the same time that buddy was also having the same problem that he was having, so that didnt help at all. Then him and the buddy got into a fight one day, so he left and went to stay at a mission downtown where things just got worst.
So I tryed to talk to into going to getting help, and he told me that he was going to, so i he told me that he was going down there to talk to someone, and then i never heard from him again that day, but the next day he called me and told me that he never made it down there because he ran into some people he knew and went to get blizted. So, that kinda pissed me off, but I needed to help him, I couldn't just let him fail like that. So one night, he did his income taxes and got a shit load of money back, he decided to move back out to Alberta where he was orginally from and all of his family is out there, so he called me and wanted to get together but I couldnt do anything because I had to work, so I told him to call me around 830 and I will come down to see him after work. So I went to catch a bus down there, and I called on my way to leave a message saying that I was coming, and so I went down there and I ended up standing outside in the cold for and hour waiting for his ass. So I got tired of waiting and went down to a club to meet my brother because his band was playing a show. He called me about 30 seconds before I walked into the club, and I guess he didnt even rememeber talking to me at 830, and told me he is on his way down there and to wait outside for him.
So I ended waiting another half an hour for him, then he shows up, drunk off his ass and was all like oh im srry blah blah blah, then he leave like 10min later to go gets some smokes and i dont see him for another hour and a half, then i go outside to have a smoke and he standing out there because they wouldnt let him back in because he was too drunk. So i go out there, and talk to him for like 10 mintues and hes practially falling asleep, so I told him just to go home and I will call him in the morning, and we can do something from there. He left me with like 1000$ on him, and the only thing he was susposed to buy was a bus ticket to go home. That was on a Thursday night, I didnt hear from him on Friday, or Saturday, and come Saturday I was ready to call his brother to see if he had heard from him, because I thought he just went home. Sunday came and he still never called me, or returned my phone calls, then on Monday afternoon, I get a call from him while im in school. He told me that he just got back to his place, he hadnt slept in like 3 days, he didnt eat for like 3 days, he just sat in a buddys place, and smoked ****ing crack for those 3 days. He was now out of money, with no bus ticket home, and no rent money, and what was the next thing he asked me.... he ****ing had the courage to ask me for money to pay his rent because he spent all of his. I'm sorry, yes i loved him, I still do love him, I think of him every now and then and it hurts like you would not believe, but I am not going to sit there and let some bum take all of my hard earned money to pay for his rent because his addiction costs so much.
I tryed all I could to help him.... but in the long run I relised, that you cant help someone who doesnt even want to help themselves. He is 28 years old now, he just has to relised its that time to grow up and start to be a man, not a ****ing lazy ass welfare bum! | |
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| Have you ever loved someone enough to let them go?
Posted: 4/13/2006 11:39:28 AM | | Yes, I have. We were at totally different points in our lives and both wanted different things, and, I did not want him to give up his plans on my account. I still talk to him the odd time, and, I know that I made the right choice, he is following his dreams. | |
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