| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 7:55:32 AM | GG ^^^^^
words of a bully???!!
what the f**** does that mean?
i think you are taking my stuff wrong .....a misread
trying to be needed?!
my insecurities ?!
ummmm
you have never met me .....you should not assume such things really
assume -makes an a*s out of you and me .....but mostly you
cause i never said bad stuff about you .......cause I do not know you
it sounds like you are projecting your ex boyfriend issues on men you do not even know....
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 8:10:54 AM | actually
my post at the top of page 3
was out of the mouth of my ex girlfriend
those were her words
so she was assuming things about women
I was just repeating them | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 8:15:51 AM | | we are ready 100% but if there is even 1 red flag why jump into something that is going to ultimatly hurt both of you.what may feel good the first 5 minutes does not make a lifetime commitment | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 8:52:59 AM | ^^^^^^
"but if you see even one red flag ......why commit"---posted by tantalizing
this is what I am talking about
"women have too many options coming at them all the time .......
i think that is a big one"-posted guitarman
as in
a women can see "one red flag and call it off" cause she has soooo many more options
to allow her to be that choosey
ask any guy
the same thing .........
men put up with alot more red flags
because, they generally have less options to be nearly that choosey
this is a fact and I encouage you to do an online poll of that statment to the men on the forum.......I feel confident they will confirm my statement
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Logik
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 57 | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:18:51 AM | I posted earlier in this thread. I'm posting again, because the exact thing just happened to me today. I had a great first date with this woman who contacted me from Lavalife. We hit it off, she even invited me to her home on the first date to watch a movie which indicates a lot of attraction and trust.
She was really enthused about a second date. We had a nice picnic by a stream, a beautiful dinner, lots of kissing, later went to play pool. We talked about our next date and what neat things we would do. We kissed passionately goodnight. Didn't hear from her for days.
Today I get a dear john letter. which just said that she doesn't think we could go further - no explanation.
So this is what I mean. What goes through her head? At least if I got some feedback from her I might be able to determine if there is anything I can do about it in the future.
The only thing odd I noticed on our second date was that she clinically probed my leg muscles while we were sitting down, trying to gauge them. Maybe my leg muscles weren't strong enough and that turned her off.
I'm telling you, it's getting tougher and tougher to keep a woman interested - no matter how great the date. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:35:11 AM | @ laverboy:
This is the heart of a lot of this issue. We don't mean what we say and say what we mean and that is a good reason why lot of people, male and female, fear commitment these days. Commitment also take lot of energy (time to know someone, caring, being there when needed and such) and today's society is just so busy we find committment intrusive. We barely get a moment to ourselves and then someone wants more of us.
Keep in mind that I'm not condemning committment here (been married for over 20 years -even though it may end soo), but I'm just offering my 2 cents here on why so many fear it. My personal example to be lumped into the pile is fear of hurt, rejection and divorce. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:46:47 AM | A lot of people have already put what I am about to put. TIME. I am looking around my surroundings right now and there are half a dozen half full coffee cups and coke cans. I am a med student and I barely have time to breathe. I mean, its like they tell me when I can breathe! (haha)
But I long for love and companionship so badly. I want someone to hold me in his arms. Someone to look into my eyes and sweep me off my feet. To kiss me so tenderly that I will forget where I am.
My commitments are far and few because of what I do. And who is going to want someone that can't even sleep the night in the bed next to them because they have to be somewhere else? I've made my commitment I guess, to life and science and whatever else, I couldn't read the small print. I think I signed my life away that day.
Who would want me?
Nobody. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 10:49:23 AM | thanks love 269,
But you know it wasn't even comittment. Two dates in two weeks is not comittment. What pushed her away? She was looking for a long term relationship.
She is an attractive woman on lavalife, and as so, I'm sure she gets lots of messages from many men. The online dynamic works that way. I guess, she found a better-looking guy, made more money, and had firmer leg muscles. So I guess it had nothing to do with me. She just had a better option. I don't blame her. That is human nature. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 2:59:11 PM |
The only thing odd I noticed on our second date was that she clinically probed my leg muscles while we were sitting down, trying to gauge them. Maybe my leg muscles weren't strong enough and that turned her off.
Laverboy
I think you could have remedied the situation
with 4 sets of 10- leg squats-
for a month prior to the date....
make sure to increase your protien intake, because, this is a large muscle group
stretch before and after working out
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 3:07:05 PM | Come on guys - leg muscles - that is just ridiculous!!
It can't have been that surely?? Or am I just naive?
Agree with the general tone though - you know the only way round it is to date lots of women at the same time. If you can't beat em, join em. Don't ever let anyone get one over you!!
I hate to think of the dating game in this way but I think it is being forced on us guys! And look at what a lot of other guys are saying as well! | |
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stool
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Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 64 | |
| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 3:33:14 PM | | I think it has to do with the fact that women have good jobs nowadays. There are more females than males graduating from uni. Females are free to shop for the best genes and not worry about resources. If you are not an alpha male, you are in trouble. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/10/2005 6:05:56 PM | No, I know it wasn't hunger. She didn't even finish her salad!
But I agree with stool, which is what I said earlier. They are looking for alpha males. Which is their right. It's nature at work. I don't fault them. But let's not hear about how women just can't find any good, caring, decent, trustworthy men. Nonsense. What they mean to say is that they can't find any good, caring, decent, trustworthy ALPHA MEN. That may indeed be true.
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/14/2005 12:16:02 PM | | hmmmmmmm I'm more than willing to commit .... to find a man that is willing ..... well... again this topic can and does go both ways... When I have my sights set on 1 man.. I give 100% and expect the same or there will be no commitment. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 70 | |
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cage40
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Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/14/2005 1:11:15 PM | It all about society, politics, law. Also nowadays one little things and there 10 000 guys ready to walk in where you left off. It happened to me and I ain't looking looking...if it happens great if not i have a great life to live.
Keep your options open! | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/14/2005 1:40:28 PM | | There are so many fish in the sea. It's hard for us guys to commit also. I like to weigh my options. Many people in the dating field, are dating a few different people, that doesn't mean they are sleeping with all of them. They are just weighing options. We don't commit to buying the first melon we pick up at the grocery store. That's what dating is like nowadays. | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/14/2005 1:42:40 PM | I don't get it?! What makes you think that women are afraid to commit?!
I know, atleast for me, that I am not afraid to commit, just have yet to meet the man that I want to commit to...... | |
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| Why is so hard for women to commit these days?
Posted: 8/14/2005 2:18:03 PM | Want the real reason, women seem to be on our toes when it comes to relationships that we usually **** things up with our insecurities when it comes to committements. Questions that we always ask ourselves when involved with someone is, "Is this for real" does this guy actually mean what he says? Should I believe this guy? Is he playing me? By the time we think that he isn't lieing to us its to late, he is outta our lives and outta their minds.
So, its not that we are afraid to commit, we just usually screw it up before it possibily happens | |
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