| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:53:50 PM | | I find I am very shy the first meeting. I think I am almost a different person. Me but not me. Sometimes it takes a meeting or two for me to open up and be myself. I just wish women could understand this and give me a second chance by agreeing to a second date. I always get the same speech. You are a super nice guy and I enjoyed your company but I dont think you are my type. By the sounds of what most people have said here, people can still fall in love WITHOUT that that special spark in the first meeting. I say as long as there is a mutual attraction, give it another date maybe 3. Third time may be the charm. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/1/2006 11:29:52 PM |
I would imagine this disconnection to be most prevelant in mainstream American society, than most other cultures.
I differ on that one. A close friend at college was a woman of Indian descent (the country, not First Nations). We (my classmates and I ) were astounded when she mentioned that she hadn't yet met the guy her parents had arranged for her to marry. A Canadian-raised, college educated woman. What about love, we asked. She explained that she trusted her parents to find someone suitable and that they would grow to love each other in time. And that this seemed to work better than letting young people pick their own mates by the hormones at work. The divorce stats support her argument.
I think 'the spark' is lust. I went for the spark the first time. Don't know if I'm happy with the end results now. Still, lust and caution together may be my new program. I've felt the spark once since my return to the game And it felt right. (Circumstances weren't, sadly.) | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:51:58 AM | | Just marking this forum for my profile, and wishing you all a wonderful journy, happy fishing! | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:54:37 AM | They say you know within first 10 minutes of meeting if that spark is there are not....It is easier when your attracted right away.... | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 3:58:44 AM | | I do agree without a doubt that there can be a spark in the first meeting. What I'm saying is if there is not a spark, there is still a really good chance that it can still turn into a great loving relationship. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 10:43:10 AM | I have been in spark relationships. Physical attraction at first, then some common topics. But, these spark relationships always fizzled out due to the men not having my equal or higher education and ethical, moral and some religious ethics. Therefore, I need and prefer a special man having said qualifications needed for consideration as a candidate as a prospective date and possible mate material. Furthermore, some spark at first would be needed, but not mandatory.          | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 11:20:34 AM | OK, where has this topic been? As it sounds like it was made just for Me ehh? Feels like I have been waiting all my life for just one last flare up, to last for life? As far as it being lust, well, that is a personal OP.
I guess if you just jump on someone without getting to know them first, go for it. That's not my style, anyway. For some reason, it seems, Woman and sensitive Men are more likely to have, those proverbial Sparks more than others, doncha' think? So I am ready and willing and patiently waiting. We all know that it's worth waiting for in the end, right? Just biding my time for that special one. In the meantime, I keep myself busy with volunteer work and a active 13 yr old. And hope that the old adage about HE will just fall in my lap when least expected. YES! | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 12:32:06 PM | I hate the term soul recognition (AOL just ruined that for me) but it is a good way to describe it.
If you come across it, you are very fortunate. You have to tend it a bit, and make time for each other, but the benefits are well worth it.
I could not even consider a relationship without that, too much trouble and ultimately doomed. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 3:55:58 PM | I believe that spark is there right in the moment you look into her eyes. Do just that. If you can see her again look into each others eyes. It is a soul connection, and in that, the eyes are that portal.
Mike | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 4:14:49 PM | IJUST,
Not sure when it is that I "detect it", for me it is kind of when I meet them I feel this absolute comfort with them, as though we had known each other for a long time.
I can get this to some extent with a lot of people, but every so often, it is really strong. I give it a bit of time to make sure I am not kidding myself though :)
With my fiancee, it is 3+ years now, and frankly FAR stronger than anything sensed initially. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:10:30 PM | I only believe in the spark around the 4th of July... Then it's fireworks baby!  | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:18:52 PM | | I know what you mean...they meet, act like everything is cool, then they dont act like they know you....thats immediate grounds for TERMINATION. Been there, done that, grew the skin to prove it.... | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:23:16 PM | | Sometimes saying there was no spark is just a kindly way of saying that you honestly KNOW you could never ever fancy that person or maybe you didn't even like them much. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:30:24 PM | | I believe in "the spark" but know from experience that it can be misleading. The instanteous spark (ie on the first date) is fun and exciting -- a feeling that I want in a long-term relationship. I have heard people say "give me time, I will grow on you." My only response to that is, "mold will also grow on me if I stand still long enough!" If you have found that chemistry once, you will not settle for a feeling less than that (although it doesn't have to be instaneous.) If the spark is something you crave, do not settle for less. There is a fine line between giving a relationship time to blossom and getting into a relationship out of complacency. -- t | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:55:32 PM | | I'm not sure I know what that "spark" is. Is it the same as chemistry? Anyway, when you first meet, within minutes at most you usually know if you find someone attractive or not. Usually it is pretty clear. No chemistry = no spark = no real physical attraction. However, there have been times when I went for a second or even third date when it was ambiguous, but the person had qualities making it worth waiting to find out. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:31:56 PM | | For me the spark is the difference between friends, and a relationship. I've been in relationships where there was no spark, and I thought I would give it time. Well it didn't come, and I was actually dating someone that I didn't feel anything with. It just didn't work. So yes, I need that chemistry. | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:36:17 PM | I've found that "the spark" is a woman thing. Along with the "The One" or "Meant to Be".
The spark is nothing more than a woman lusting after a man the way men lust after women. Women just don't feel it as often as the guy does. So when they do feel it, they think it's something, and if the guy can keep their atention past the point of the woman's normal mental situation returning, then they believe that it was something "meant to be"
Only an opinion, no clue if it's acurate or not, but it's something to work with. | |
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| Believe in that spark : What is SPARK all about ?
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:48:02 PM | SPARK : A vital, animating, or activating factor
The first time you see somebody and that takes your breath away..
you saw spark in him/her.
It's simply what you felt the first time (an activating factor) you met him/her
it could be physical attraction(smile,long hair,eyes )etc..,
emotional attraction..(him/her making you feel loved and comfortable first time you meet)
so it is something a criteria one sets depending upon his/her upbringing..
So saying "SPARK" is something we own within overselfs..
So if someone says you have spark or dont have spark i met you first time..
simply means the conversation/first meet/first sight was not good enough to ignite the fire
(through spark)!!
Try again ..maybe someone finds his category of "spark" in you!!ALL THE BEST!! | |
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Rouxx
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Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| Believe in that spark : What is SPARK all about ?
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:11:29 PM | What do you all think about THIS type of "spark"?
I am an absolute non-believer in finding "cyber" love........or even a STRONG connection.
Well, because I always prove myself wrong..........I recently met and have been talking to someone (off of here) that I think is wonderful. Spark? Good grief.......felt more like a bonfire!! However, I'm too cynical to believe in such nonsense :)
Anyway, as quickly as it "sparked"......it also seems to have blown away. Not sure why but that's the way it is.
My point is that the "spark" is SO important.........SO important. How can you make a fire without an initial "spark"? | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 3:13:58 AM | 'Sparks' do for me. Not necessarily they could indicate or instigate 'flame' but for THE moment they just make your heart pounding faster.
Yes, I love sparks flying and believe in their charming impact providing mutual fuelling has the same source   | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:33:04 AM | Sorry, don't mean to butt in here.. but don't they have clinical studies on this stuff that reads where both Men & Woman have pheromone instincts or a sense of smell, going on also when we meet? That's why the perfum' industry makes so much money every year with their expensive name brands. "The closer he gets the better he smells,lol" and why is it just the Woman again..did I miss something here with you guys?
And with that "soul-mate" word, please. Someone mentioned AOL?? lmao. Can someone please take it out of our dictionary. When my ex left, his GF was telling all, that they were just that, ugg, I truly am glad it is her instead of me...life does give us small favors ehh? | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:59:19 AM | If all I did was pay attention to that "spark", then something in my pelvic region would be leading me around everywhere and trying to make me believe that there are "sparks" everywhere.
No thanks. I'm just looking for something good. Something really good. It doesn't have to be mind-blowing . . . | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:13:39 AM | hahhaha....something that sparks one person might gross another person out...a neighbor spotted me cleanin a softshell turtle...then he peeked in my roll up lure bag an discovered i make alot of my own fishin lures....i noticed his boat dock has room for my ganoe...sparks are flyin like fireworks now.... | |
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| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:27:00 AM | I definitely believe in the "spark", which makes it really hard trying to meet someone online because I think it's something you feel when you meet the person. Yes you can fall for someone over time, but as others have said, you have to have the right setup for that (new neighbor, friend of a friend, etc). If there is no spark, what makes you give a person a second date? Yes, they may have a lot of interests the same as you, but those are called friends. If you're looking to meet someone for dating/relationship, and you're going out and meeting a few different people, why would you bother going out on a second or third date with someone who doesn't give you that "spark". Even if it was all about physical appearance (which I don't believe), and as much as people say looks don't matter, you have to an attraction to someone you're in a relationship with (if not, again, those are called friends).
The only bad thing about "the spark" is that sometimes it happens with a person that doesn't fit your perfect image. I've met lots of people on here that on paper are perfect, but there was just nothing there, and then I met someone that I had a spark with. His job sucks, but I still ended up picking him over the guy with the perfect job because of the connection I felt. | |
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a37064
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Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 50 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/3/2006 10:37:49 AM | I've met a couple of ladies over the last few months. There definately wasn't a spark on either of our parts. Both were lovely ladies and I figured they wouldn't be interested because I wasn't interested. When we parted, I was told "I would like to see you again".
I have a special lady friend who is my counselor on women. She told me that most women want the man to play a little hard to get. That is especially hard for me because I cannot hide my emotions. If I like someone, my face just beams. I can't play poker because if I got three aces, it would show in my face. No matter how hard I would try to hide the fact that I had a good hand, my face would give it away. (YES, I HAVE ACES and LOTS OF THEM.) LOL
I've also met a lady and just fell hard for her. Couldn't help it, wasn't able to hide it. She is more reserved but lets me know through her smile and actions that she has feelings too.
I guess, I believe in the spark since it has happened to me.
T | |
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