| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 2:27:06 PM | Thanks for all the love in here, I wish I would have check sooner, "Daylily" you are such a doll and I think we are make from the same clothe if you know what I a saying. The words of encourgement are very much appreciated from this girls heart to you.TY...
I really feel Mr GQ did me a favor by blowing all that hot air early in the season at me, so I could move on to my new "research project", on my "last first date" as I keep calling them. So I could enjoy my favorite season of the year alone or with someone I could enjoy it with some else...lol. I could tell you about his drama, but that wouldn't be nice would it? Catty is what I think they call it umm, not on here babe...puurrrr,,fectly lady like today. But if you want the real drama sweetie, you can always get in touch with me on my profile, lol.
"Happy" fortunately for our Easter dinner I didn't bring him up for the enterainment portion of the day, but I will keep this tucked inside my lil' brain for when I do find Mr right...I did chuckle and thought of you. It's a form of comedy for me too. You can't take it so bad, right? I have saved so much in these forums on therapy... Just think of all the money I am saving in Psych bills, that's a joke, for sure. Aww God bless ya all. Keep coming back, it get's better & better, in here, Optimistic for a reason..always..
By the way, where have all the cowboys gone?.. don't rush her babe..you are such a romantic Taurus...Optim. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 5:26:43 PM | well...from readin ur profile...OptimismnLaughter ...i soooooooooooo hear you on that note. i know exactually what your goin thru.... your very welcome a thanx for the message i got mail...yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa made my day..hehehe  | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 5:35:55 PM | Personally, there has to be that initial spark. Something about that other person has to set me on fire inside. Now mind you it wasn't there with every guy i dated, hence why i'm not dating them anymore i would guess. As for the ones who did ignite the spark? well, the spark turned into a raging fire, and like raging fires, they burned out.
I would still much rather the spark though. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 7:31:44 PM | yup..so far I'm on a 50/50 split with it! 2-2
it's just got to be there initially, it's never "developed" for me.
funny, some say it's a confusion over lust......not for me. When that "spark" is there, honestly, sex is the last thing on my mind.....it comes from just being around them.
maybe it's just me!
 | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 8:05:35 PM | | I believe there is a spark out there or something but most of the time is a waste of time why fall for a girl that is just going to rip your heart out? I thought I had the right one when all of a sudden she left me and now I am lost without her. I dont think its fair to have "the spark" due to the fact that the spark that you fell is a way for people to take advantage of you for your emotions and everything else its not fair. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 8:17:55 PM | Oh, how I believe in the "spark"! I have had it once on meeting...instantaneous...when the relationship ended, the fire had still not gone out, for either of us...WE just didn't work as a couple. The other developed over a 3 month period...I wasn't even attracted to him when we met...we were together for 4 yrs...and again, that fire never went out..we couldn't remain together for complicated reasons...whenever I see him, although it is rare, I still get butterflies...... | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/23/2006 8:31:31 PM | If a potential partner walks away after just one date because "the spark" was missing - I don't think trying to persuade them to give it time will help. The connection just isn't there for them even if they find you physically attractive or intelligent or fun to be with. I don't think the spark is essential in the early dating stages - but the chemistry IS essential when it comes to anything beyond friendship. Without the chemistry the kiss will never be anything more than the kind of kiss you would give your mother.
Kay | |
|
| |
Happÿ
|
Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 83 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 6:43:27 AM | Optim - Ah come on,. No guts over easter dinner to as you put it 'provide the comedy portion". It is a hot topic no doubt but you have to get it over with. The reason I opened up is twofold. 1. I am an honest and open person-no secrets really. 2. They were bugging me a wee bit about dating etc.
Three of us are single and have been so for many many years. But for some reason they think I shouldn't be. double standard as far as i am concerned.
Anyone else have that with their families?
AS for coyboy..........thinking marriage already? take your time babe.
I too am a Taurean and oh so want the no-holds-barred all bets are off take-caution-to-the-winds whirlwind torrid love affair but .... you can't just make it happen.
Am i sick of waiting? sure and likely you are too but don't settle darling. Wait for the woman who can return your feelings. We fall hard and it takes a long time to forget but it is worth the wait.
At least I think so.... | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 6:56:51 AM | | It is great when two people have that kind of connection, and I am sure we are all hoping that we find that in our lifetime. I have had the spark, and it's great, great sex, feels great being together. But the older and wiser I get I realize that it is more important to find someone that you can see yourself spending the next 50 years talking to, which is also very hard to fine, someone that is truly compatable with you. The spark is not everything. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 7:07:30 AM | For me the spark is essential, any girl I've cared for greatly/fallen in love with was one that turned me into a complete slack-jawed retard the first moment i saw her  
As I've gotten older I've encountered that spark less and less often, which is a shame, and probably why I haven't really invested myself in many of the various relationships that have fallen my way... It almost felt like I had to continuously convice myself that these girls were the right one for me in terms of compatibility, but just because they equated to a good match in my mind, didn't mean my heart or my loins agreed
So now I'm going back to just following that initial instinct, the spark may be fleeting in some circumstances, and often never reciprocated, but when that spark is reciprocated watch out because I will set the entire forest ablaze with my passion 
Any ladies out there in the GTA got a lighter?  | |
|
I Spy
|
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 86 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 7:15:34 AM | | there are different types of spark, i.e. physical/sexual, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and the unexplanable. I don't think there's one person in this world who can ignite all the sparks in another. I think at the first meeting, people will judge each other on whether or not the person can spark up their physical/sexual interest. If that doesn't happen, they won't waste another minute trying to find out about the other type. That typically happens on internet dating, online dating is disposable. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 7:43:58 AM | I have felt the sparks.
I met a lady at work once, a rep for a supplier. As soon as she sat down in my office this feeling hit me. Pulse shot up, my hair tried to stand on end, and considering I shave my head that would have been a neat trick. Long story short it didn't go anywhere. Why? She was married. As soon as I saw the ring, I told myself to back right off. I wasnt making a play for her, this was work after all, but, I would have asked her out. No she wasnt a super model. It was just a look/feeling.
Did she have the same feeling? I have no idea.
The spark is initial attraction, but, I think it critical that both partners have the rest of the equation if its going to be long term. For me that means intelligence, ability to laugh, willing to work with me, communication, resprect for one another.
Without those I can see I can see the spark/flame being blown out by the stormy winds of a tempestous relationship. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 8:28:23 AM | there are different types of spark, i.e. physical/sexual, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and the unexplanable. I don't think there's one person in this world who can ignite all the sparks in another. I think at the first meeting, people will judge each other on whether or not the person can spark up their physical/sexual interest. If that doesn't happen, they won't waste another minute trying to find out about the other type.
Muay _Thai I somewhat disagree with your post, perhaps because I don't subdivide the spark into categories... I'm blown away by someone in the initial meeting, and sure it starts with my eyes, but it's more than just that, it's what I perceive of their personality at the moment - the smile on her face as she approaches to greet me, the tone and friendliness of her voice when she first says hello, etc. A bunch of vibes get sent out in that 10-second greeting, and that can make or break the experience for me right then and there.
After that if she's floored me with that spark, I'm so enthralled I hang on her every word, I feel excited and elated to talk to her, and an earthquake would have a hard time shaking my focus from her during the date
I think that is why I have such a hard time with online dating, you can't feel a spark through a photo, nor through someone's written words, nor through phone conversation alone, you have to interact with them face to face in real time to know for sure... At least in my case, others seem to be able to fall for a paragraph of text...  | |
|
I Spy
|
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 89 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 8:33:50 AM | | tiger, because I sectioned them into different types doesn't mean a person can't experience them all in one big bang; that would require a certain awareness to be able to get it all in. And having 2 people experiencing that bang towards each other simultaneaously would seem to me almost impossible. I just think the physical/sexual spark is the front runner that gets through first. | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 4/27/2006 9:42:59 AM | ^^^^^^^^^
Very true Muay_Thai, the chances of that mutual spark on all levels is indeed microscopic, which is why I'm searching for it ever more fervently, because when I find it I plan to hold on for dear life
In the meantime I'm probably guilty of falling under the "front-runner spark" you mentioned
Best of luck to all of us chasing this pipe-dream...  | |
|
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 5/22/2006 8:43:38 AM | | Hey Happy,,,I am just seeing your post note about the Easter dinner.. if the GQ date would have been half of what it promised to be, and the sparks would have flown, then I would have followed thru,,, thanks for the idea. I will use in the future for sure...your family is alot like mine...thanks babe.nothing like playing cards and adding some spice to it ehh??? | |
|
Happÿ
|
Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 92 | |
| Believe in that spark
Posted: 5/22/2006 6:06:01 PM | Oh so right Optimismn!
amazing what comes up in the conversation during marathon card games with family! good luck and i hope you have cause soon to let them know about POF. | |
|
Home
login 
