| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 3:26:39 PM | 1jay1, I miss the companionship thing too. It would be so nice to have a "partner in crime" that wanted to get together and go have fun. Just go on an outing and enjoy the world. I haven't had that in a long time. Unfortunately, a lot of women my age want to be couch potatos or do sedentary things.
Tim | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:00:10 PM | I know what you mean Shadowknight59. I am a single father of a 16 year old girl. She doesn't have her driving liscense yet, and prefers hanging out at home and hanging out with her pop sometimes. It's kind of interesting that she points out people for me to meet sometimes.
For the most part I hang out at home and mess with the computer or fish and go sailing when I get a chance. This dating thing is still very new to me again. Most of my my single friends are older than me and retired. One friend said I should go take some dance classes to meet women, so I went to one community dance class. Most of the ladies were his age, but there were a couple that I'd like to get to know better that were closer to my age. It looks like once again I'm a "tweener". In between being a party animal and being retired. I wouldn't mind dating someone a little older than me, but it's hard to think of establishing a real long term relationship with them. My ex is 5 years older than me and the older we got the less we seemed to have in common.
I don't have trouble meeting people and am usually well accepted where ever I go. Am I being to picky? Part of my problem is that instead of just meeting people and dating I find myself measuring them as potential mates. The funny part is that right now I feel like I'll never remarry. Once burned, twice shy.
Tim | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:40:12 PM | *chuckles
I know what you mean Tim. My kids at 4 and 6 have started actively pointing out or introducing me to women...lol. When I asked them why they said it was time I had a girlfriend...lol.
Well I am usually at grad school, workign on a business, dealing with kids, or writing for school.
Oh, I know I am picky but right now I am not even worried about a potential mate...just would like a good woman to hang out with sometimes and share adventures with. If it works into more then great...if it doesn't...well I am not too worried about it.
Kevin | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:53:05 PM | | Tim now I wish we were closer together I would love to take dance classes! I am in a similiar boat as you two Kevin and Tim. I have two daughters in college one to be married this summer and 1 son in kinder. I understand that alot of men my age are looking at thier children leaving rather than starting over. I don't have a problem dating, Its a problem with me making it past the 1st one. I don't understand men who automatically think that since you have went out and yes it was ok, no one got sick or died lol that that means you are committed to them. I am at a point where yes I know what I want but am actually afraid of finding it. does that make any sense? | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:58:05 PM | *chuckles
Actually makes a lot of sense Tori.
My problem has been getting to the first date...lol. I have gotten to the point I am not worried...if it happens it happens. Part of it is being in grad school and having two small children at my age I am sure.
I have had a few scarey ones try to take me out but I figure if the kids don't like them just talking to them then I am fine not knowing them.
Committment itself is scarey, let alone someone trying to get that right off the bat. Far as I am concerned that is a red flag.
Kevin | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:05:40 PM | | Well in all honesty I don't let my son even know I am dating. My older girls know and they kinda rag on me from time to time. But I have dated someone in the past for over 4 months and never introduced him to my child. To me that step means its serious. Have you ever watched the show How I met your mother? I haven't seen it in awhile but someone the other day at work was laughing at me the docs like to hear my date stories because they say I declare the lemon law every time. I hate that I am afraid of committment. I keep saying I will know it when I find it but am not really that positive about it on the inside. It would be nice if I wasn't the only one. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:10:30 PM | well Tori I am positive you are not the only one. I think it is the committment factor. I haven't been in a dating situation in so long I am not truthfully sure how I would react anymore. I would like to think that if things were progressing that I would continue on but I can't in all honesty say I would go ahead and make that next step.
It is one of those bridges I will worry about when I get there.
Lemon law hunh...are they that bad?
I haven't seen that show. Never even heard of it before...lol.
Kevin | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:18:10 PM | | No they are not all that bad. I have met some very nice people. I don't want anyone that I can run over. I just want someone that I can respect and actually the truth be known am kind a little old fashioned when it comes to my private life. I am not sure if it is old fashioned or traditional. Nowadays they use both as if they are curse words. i am sure I will get slammed for this but I like to cook and clean and take care of the home and even like to garden. I feel like the man should pay the bills, mow the yard take care of the cars and take out the trash! lol I am not saying I don't want to work because I love my job and have been doing it for years. Maybe I like the thought because the "man" things I mentioned earlier I just suck at. I don't change the oil on my car till the light comes on. I would rather trade it in for a new one when something goes wrong and I have trouble starting the stupid lawnmower. Now the trash I could handle without difficulty just don't like to! I am teasing kinda so men reading this be kind. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:28:59 PM | Well Tori, I think that there are many more who are "old fashioned" in that way but society has told them too long that it was wrong to feel that way. I am "old fashioned" in that way. I prefer the woman I am with to stay home and take care of the house, kids, cooking, etc while I go to work, take care of the outside of the house, cars, etc.
Yes, I fully expect to get slammed as a chauvinist for that...lol. Oh well, what can I say. It won't be the first time and I doubt it will be the last.
I also like putting on armor and fighting with swords...lol.
Funny thing is I think there may be a biological prediliction for things to be that way since that is how they were for eons and society seemed to work just fine.
Kevin | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/12/2006 8:44:11 PM | I too believe all good, lasting relationships start out as friends and progress. Not so sure that I feel any different about relationships, as much as, I feel different about myself.
What I will accept and what I won't tolerate. Guess in many respects I am old-fashioned in that I believe the man should be the head of the house --------- but that doesn't mean he should control me or walk on me.
Nothing wrong with wanting the "Fairytale". I still believe it exists with the right person and will continue to look until I find it. Wants to grow old with that special person that can enjoy all life has to offer and has the ability to hang in there thru the bad times as well.
Good luck all. | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 42 | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 1:53:43 AM | Yes,of course I do.I would hope I still don't have the same
outlook now that I did when I was just starting to live life...
The dreams & expectations we have when we're younger is
from the innocence of not knowing the realization of what
life,love,& relationships are all about.
Unfortunately,(like hindsight) it's true with age & experience
comes the wisdom we need to differentiate from what is beyond
our grasp to what is within our reach.
Knowing we can be comfortable with whatever choice we make,
be it with or without someone,because we know now that our
love,happiness,& contentment comes from within ourselves,not
relying on someone else to provide it... | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 2:21:14 AM | Well that is a tough call there since most women have this thing about not dating their friends.
Yes, I was just thinking that! How many men would read this and think, "Fine in theory but I'm Just a Friend" ?
Something about it screwing up the friendship. Guys on the other hand don't have that problem.
I'm not sure if that's true Kevin. Men I talk to seem to be just as angst-ridden about this one. Maybe it's a cultural difference. I read posts on here and I feel as though I'd have a lot in common with the North American guys. British men are very different in many ways - perhaps tougher on themselves in the sense of not forgiving themselves for not being perfect? Anyway - plenty of them have the same problems as women in moving from friends to lovers. IMHO. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 3:20:42 AM | It scares me how differently I look at relationships. I wonder from time to time if I have "matured" or have given up ??? It seems my "list" gets longer and the potential dates are, well, non-existent! LOL I find it very difficult to meet someone to begin dating. It just seems easier to remain singular. I have never been a woman who "needed" a man and as I've gotten older, it has become less and less important. Wow, that is really sad now that I see it here.  I still believe in love/romance/passion/etc., but I don't feel empty not having a significant other in my life. I feel passionate about causes, art, music, etc., love my family and friends, and have learned to live without romance, so it seems my needs are met and my life is full ~ yet I still wonder ~ is anyone destined to live without someone to share old age with? | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 3:48:58 AM | My life is pretty good when I look at it. My needs are met, I have a house and can afford toys. But, I feel the need for love/romance/passion/etc.  That's been missing out of my life for a very long time. Love and romance fill a void that nothing else will.
Tim | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 2:53:04 PM | | Hi...I am 55 yrs old and a widow...I thought dating would be easier at my age..I found out real fast I was so wrong..I am a BBW...I thought at my age men would want a friend and companion...not a sex kitten...I too like being on my own but I miss the male companionship..I thought I would still be married and go into those golden yrs everyone talks about..Like you I want to be able to call someone up or he call me and say hey "lets go to a movie" or just sit and watch the sun rise...I don't know if my views on relationships have changed since I was younger because I had always wanted to be married and raise a family..I think what has changed is I have learnt from my husbands passing are the mistakes we both made and would not want to make them in a new relationship..value that person more..make sure it's a equal partnership...make more of an effort to put aside unimportant things...spend all the time you can together...but giving that space needed...wisdom has taught me not to sweat the small stuff anymore. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 4:37:44 PM | Tim, I don't want to be a couch potato...been there, done that - in a nother lifetime. I'll soon be 48 and I want to live! I'm active, and don't want to spend every night in front of the idiot box. Weekends are something I really look forward to, especially now that it's getting warmer outside. Sitting in shorts and a t-shirt tonight!!
My problem is, finding a man who doesn't have kids at home. I guess because I had my son when I was 24, and he'll be 23 tomorrow, it's hard for me to find a man in my age bracket who doesn't have kids in the 8-12 or older range. Let me tell you, I've gone that route before too...and asked the ex BF to move out, because I discovered that I didn't want kids every other weekend and for holidays. I never knew that about myself, but believe me...I do now (could be cause his son was just plain obnoxious too?). Anyway, at this point in my life - it's time for 'adult fun'. Kids can visit for a few hours, but frankly and honestly, when I read a man's profile and it states "my kids are my life", I hit the back button, and move on to the next one.
Just MHO, and I'm entitled to it! | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/13/2006 4:56:42 PM | I understand the kid thing. How about a teenager? My daughter is 16 and living with me. She's a pretty good kid, but in the teenage "hide in her room" stage. I haven't met anyone that would think she's a problem because she's intelligent and very mature for her age. And she let's me have a lot of alone time.
Is there anyone else out there that also sees having a kid around as a problem? Or a teenager? I like kids and enjoy spending time with them, but need some adult time too!
Tim | |
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