| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:23:22 AM | | In talking to others and from my own experience I would have to say you are on base. That is why I am very careful to not misrepresent myself. I always have very recent pics posted as I treat others as I would want to be treated. I don't try to fool anyone and would expect the same consideration from others. I'm not sure as to why I'm not having any luck finding someone.......I get very little mail. I know I am not a dog and I take good care of myself. My age perhaps! Anyway.....I will continue to reply to all that write. If I'm interested I will say so........if not I will always be very polite. Now if the message is perverted I would have to rethink the whole thing.....probably would not reply unless it was to have the last word. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:45:40 PM | L2BM---ya made some good points there. I like the one about a long first message. Simply put--I think I talk too much. But we men have to stick out, after all we are doing the chasing (for the most part) and competing with all these other guys. You just get to sit back with 100 plus guys that may have you on their favorites list. If I message 10 ladies that I think might be a good fit---may be one will respond. Thats a ego killer for sure, and ends up being self abusive. I think that happens to a lot of guys---but I don't think it has happened to you. As ugly as my pictures may be, I have had to turn down many nice ladies. I talked to every one of them, and I don't think I hurt their feelings. Thats where the different set of social skills come in handy. Besides--I kinda like facing my fears. :)
Sassy---your a wonderfull lady. :) Any nice gentelman would be a fool not to get to know you. Girls----this lady has heart. Believe it or not--we like that a lot. :) | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 3:49:57 PM | sassyblonde
I get very little mail on this site also....and I too am very upfront about myself. I also get a lot of "read/deleted" and/or "not read/deleted". I figure if they can't take the time to respond, then they aren't someone I want to know anyway. What mail I do get, I always respond, and I am no longer comfortable sending a message to any gentleman...if delete is all I'm going to get.
Good luck to you though sassy | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 4:03:38 PM | | Why not send a message, then delete it from your sent messages. If I didn't actually take the time to go to my sent messages and see the status of messages I've sent, I'd have no idea who I sent what to. I think people who are complaining about it, are doing it for the sake of complaining. If you didn't see the "read, deleted" you wouldn't have even remembered sending a message to that person. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:30:06 PM | | Ignorance is not always bliss. I actually do remember most of the women I send messages to because I’m not just sending messages indiscriminately, but I do leave the sent messages there to make sure I’m not messaging the same person twice, especially if they weren’t considerate enough to respond in the first place. I just don’t understand why people can’t take the extra 5 seconds and write, “sorry, but I’m not interested,” if they are aware that no response at all bothers people. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:49:35 PM | Well I see this is something that we all have very different views on. and that's ok.I just have to go with what I feel, and again I would rather someone just not respond to my message if they weren't interested than to send me a message back saying "thanks for the message, But I am not Interested", So since I would rather not get that kind of message myself, I choose not to send those kinds of messages.
But its good to see everyones views on this topic. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:10:48 AM | piscescoda quote
"Why not send a message, then delete it from your sent messages. If I didn't actually take the time to go to my sent messages and see the status of messages I've sent, I'd have no idea who I sent what to. I think people who are complaining about it, are doing it for the sake of complaining. If you didn't see the "read, deleted" you wouldn't have even remembered sending a message to that person."
Why doesn't POF put up a electronic answerer thingie---with a fake pic and a bunch of BS for a profile--like "Communication is the key".---Then we could talk to a computer--and not take anything about trying to talk to a person--- personal. We don't talk to many people anyway (let alone get a date with someone we like)--so what is the difference? At least the electronic answer thingie replies.
I am not into playing a "dart board in the dark" numbers game. I select who I think would be good for me, and me for her, and shoot her a message. It does not work. I don't know why some of you gals are here. Plus, on the deleting the sent messages thing, I like to know what I said to her before (because I know I will forget I sent her one before). Not that I lie, I don't.---I just don't want to look dumber than I am. :)
May be the real problem is your ways of thinking. I think you gals may feel that we need you more than you need us. Guess again---because we don't need this (being ignored). I would almost want to talk to a computer before I get ignored by a person. Your one step away from men not needing/wanting you at all (generally speaking). If guys were not so trained today for what a slefish, heartless woman wants (metrosexual guys, and PPC "**** politically correct"--excuse the language), and were men again---I don't think we would be having this problem.---Why don't you gals---go get a girlfriend, and stop pretending you like men. I wonder, how many of you gals that think it is OK to ignore a nice guy---have slept with other women, and liked it? Can I see some hands? LOL This is messed up today. I wish I were a kid back in the 30's. Then I would be kicking back on a tropical beach with my wife of 50 years. Do you gals, want to die alone??
Sorry---I can make a point if I want to, and this is an extreem perspective I know----that may or may not have some weight to it. If you are offended---try to set it aside. I talk a lot from emotion. But it is black and white to me. Nothing is going to happen, unless we talk to eachother. I think you gals work hard at looking for any little thing that you may not like---and drop them like your on a Sienfeld (sp) episode. The only difference is, on the show, they actually went out with them before they dropped them. Like I said--I don't know why your here.
L2BM----I like you. I like to see a person who can disagree, and not get all bent out of shape (like I seem to be--but I am just making points). I like a person who can agree to disagree---and still make great love later--hehe. It's the person who disagrees, and then turns their head and walks away, that buggs me. wow---that is kinda like being ignored :)
Believe me ladies---some of these guys you ignore, really know how to love who they are with. My bet is you ignored a better one for you, than what you will end up with. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/14/2006 3:24:12 AM | Ok, how many times have you waved to people in the street and some wave back and some ignore you...same dif....
I have been on paid sites on and off for five years..I have said hi and got ignored..does not really bother me..I am busy with work and family stuff anyway...just a hello..
So why is the ego so bent just on that...??
Better than meeting someone and developing a relationship for nine months or more only to have them dump you over some poptart online they have have talking to behind your back...all this time....and my ego is still intact...
don't wear your heart on your sleeve....and you will be fine.. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/15/2006 3:13:52 PM | | Thats sad. You think two wrongs make a right. I think it is rude for a person to ignore another saying hello on the street also. I say, wear your heart on you sleeve, and have the courage to do so. Somebody may recogonize what a wonderfull person you are, that is, if they have the courage to say hello to you. We have become a bunch of social wimps. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/15/2006 3:37:16 PM | | I agree with the above post. If someone speaks to you in person or online, the correct response would be to acknowledge the person. It doesn’t mean you’re committing to a relationship. Also, approaching someone on an internet dating site is a lot different than approaching someone on the street. People on the street may just be walking home, but the assumption is that people on an internet dating site are looking to get approached by someone. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/15/2006 6:32:57 PM | Well talk about ood ole fashioned consideration what about good ole fashioned morals on the 1st email, oh my god I already got approached for this guy to come to my house for a bj. Is that real or what I'm no prude ,,but I certainly dit not expect this on the first email. yea a hug or a kiss, but your actually just getting aqquainted, to fast for me after being just recently seperated. Yea I want companionships but the first day oral sex, take a hike or take care of yourself. Let your hand be your friend for the night , sorry but that;s how i fel for good ole fashioned consideration. who wants to feel like a GD whore on your 1st email , Not me any more replys for this ole fashioned Consideration. .. and you know who u are I will be KIND AND NOT MENTION YOUR NAME,,or MAYBE i SHOULD??? , YEA, I'D LIKE A  OF THE ACTION BUT NOT THIS WAY, I'M NOT THIS DESPERATE  GOING agAIN | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/15/2006 6:57:57 PM | | I don't blame you Pinky----we are talking about civil messages though. I never get propositions like that (what's it like?--hehe), but IMO, you should not feel obligated to answer someone who is rude. The problem with the people that don't answer good messages, is they think they are not being rude first, and I have given them a piece of my mind once in a while. Then they think I am rude.---It's funny how that works. lol | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/15/2006 10:20:53 PM | Yep--I got your message--and I just shot you one back. I may not be interested in dating you. But I don't have a problem talking to anybody.---- I am not going to be a jerk and ignore you, because you shot me a nice message. That would be a crappy thing to do.
I am a bigger person than that, and I am proud of it. I will stay that way. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 4:36:09 AM | | You are right, hon...it is rude. I could see not finding someone of interest..but how hard is it to say thanks but i find you not to fit the bill. Worse yet is when you talk to them and then they see you and say omg you're not thin...well, duh..i told you that. Some people just like the game...the illusions that you can paint with words. Me i was looking for honesty but you find that on here even slower then you do in real time.. Don't give up, though..some honest people exsist and some of them are just as lonely as you and i. Ending a relationship is hard, moving on even harder...but the hardest is finding "old school" values in a vast wave of "don't care" generations. I hope you find all you seek.... | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 8:01:57 AM | | i agree with atleast a reply im very comfortable with my weight and looks so if someone doesnt like me then that is ok just say so.i hate it women say they want honesty and trust and respect from a man but then tehy dont show that bavk by resonding to you when you write to them.so ladys just be up front and say what you think when you look at the proflie wheter there is a pic or not you never know what you might be missing. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 8:22:44 AM | May be you touched on something there. Could it be that these people don't answer, because they are 50lbs heavier than their 7 year old pic suggests? I bet they are hitting the delete button with a stalk of celery. Some seem very selfish---come on, get real-----A gal that has been divorced twice (or more)--4 kids, and no marketable skills, has no right deleting anybody (on top of being rude). And most of them are not really that good looking. They pretty much have nothing going for them, yet they delete like they are some kind of princess. I think they are looking for somebody to take care of them. They want it given to them now, and are not willing to work together for what they want. They see their rich friends with all kinds of toys, and feel they deserve it for some reason (the rich kids don't usually deserve it either--ya don't deserve it, unless you earn it). What kind of a man wants a woman like that? I will tell you---the kind of man who will delete her when he is tired of her. Sorry--but people today are so darn stupid and lazy---it makes me sick.
I have been alone, and doing my own thing for most of my life, so I am pretty used to it. Plus, I am pretty busy these days, so I really don't get all that lonely. But I have to admitt, I was building some small engines (side business) the other day at home, and a song came on that reminded me of my old GF. I did shed a tear. (but I am still a man damn it--hehe) I can entertain myself pretty well. But I have had a couple of great girlfriends that showed me the light on how two people can make things happen for them selfs better than doing it alone.
This place is not effective at all. I never get this kind of rejection in person. I thought I would be hooked up with somebody good in three months from here. I did not realize that most of these people have serious issues. I think we are all loosers when it comes to relationships (or we would not be here), so get over yourselfs, and may be there will be some winning couples comeing out of here. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 8:42:41 AM | | I am who I say I am. I am not 50 pounds over weight or as far as that goes I am not over weight at all. I never use pics that are more than 6 months old either. So I never have to worry about someone being shocked when they meet me face to face. If anything they say that my pics don't do me justice. I myself would date someone that has a few extra pounds. Would I date an obese person.........no I would not.....simply because first impressions bring on the chemistry or shut it off completly. I am looking for the whole package though........not just the gift wrap. I'm looking for just a regular guy because I am just a regular girl who goes to work everyday and can take care of herself. Do I want to be alone....hell no.........but I'd rather be alone than be with some Greek God who treats me like crap. Been there, done that and not going there again. So I shall continue to reply to all who write.........who knows..........one of them might just be my fairy tale. And if they don't reply to me they may just have missed out on the best thing that ever happened to them. I don't judge anyone..........after all we all have baggage.....it is what makes us who we are today. Hopefully that is a better person than we were yesterday. Until someone has walked in my shoes they can keep their judgements to themselves. I always try to keep an open mind and an open heart. Everyone out there needs and wants love. We will find it.......we just have to be patient. So everyone out there.......careful with the delete button....it just may be the one for you! | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 8:53:53 AM | We will have to agree to disagree, because ignoring people just buggs the hell out of me. I guess if you ook at it like your just playing a numbers game, you can dismiss it. But it is not a numbers game to me.
I am not an ugly guy at all, and IMO, better looking than many of the gals I message, so I don't think that is it.
Bottom line is---you can not tell what kind of a person they are from a message or from a self written profile. If people talk to eachother, I am sure they would be suprised once in a while, that they are interested. I feel sorry for them, and us. It makes this single crap last too long.
I still think they just want to be taken care of---so may be I will take some pics in front of a 2mill home with a BMW in the driveway. Wanna bet I go from 5% response--to 85% response? I won't even shave or comb my hair, and I will write a pompus profile---lol.
Neverduplicated---courtesy is also not hurting peoples feelings---but you make some interesting points also. Good job. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 9:07:38 AM | Sassy--I like your attitude. Myself, I can't say "it's your loss" to anyone, because it makes me feel like I am being too arrogant, but that is just me. I think that phrase is really a defense mechinism because the feelings have really been hurt.
But you are cool sassy---I like you. I think you shot me a message to see if I really practice what I preach. And you found out that I do. In the overall package--I think I am pretty hard to beat (unless the gal is extreemly needy--which I simply don't have time for), so may be it is really their loss---but I will let them figure that out for themself. Problem is, they are like 40 years old, and have not figured it out yet.
I talk a lot, and am a bit of a free thinker, so I can see myself getting shot down if I say something that is stupid (usually just jokeing around), but I don't even get a chance to shoot my own foot on this web site. It is not a problem with POF--it is a problem with our society IMO. We don't know how to interact with eachother well IMO. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 10:54:19 AM | | Yes cuterguy.......I like you too! I agree that we don't always know how to interact with others. As for me........I don't need a bmw and would be leary of someone who was trying to impress me that way. Things don't impress me.........the way someone treats me impresses me........sometimes a good impression and sometimes not so good. But hey cuterguy someone just let me know why no one is e-mailing me. They said I must be a dyke since I have a dyke hairdo. Well I am no dyke, but I am a sassy blonde for sure. And I'm all fluffy female and am comfortable with it. And yeah........the part of "their loss attitude" does come from a defense mechanism. But I know that I am worthy at least of a reply. And thanks cuterguy for restoring my faith in the word "consideration." You certainly do have it! | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 11:44:51 AM | I took the time to reply once to someone I wasnt interested in to at least say thanks for your time,well he kept on trying to get me to be interested in him ,by the end of the week he was calling me names and telling me I thought I was to good for him ,so yes this is rude not to reply,but in turn I wished that I wouldnt have then,he was a complete jackass. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 11:45:48 AM | | I took the time to reply once to someone I wasnt interested in to at least say thanks for your time,well he kept on trying to get me to be interested in him ,by the end of the week he was calling me names and telling me I thought I was to good for him ,so yes this is rude not to reply,but in turn I wished that I wouldnt have then,he was a complete jackass. | |
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| What happened to good old fashioned consideration
Posted: 7/16/2006 3:20:31 PM | LMAO---I remember you angle (but I don't think your talking about me--because the facts are different). I shot you several messages about a year ago (and your still here?), and you ignored me. Be rude to me--and I can, and usually will, dish it out also. You didn't like that somebody was rude back, and you got fairly belitteling to me--calling me a jerk (who calls the names again?), if I remember right. Bottom line--if you are rude, by not replying to a good message (pervs don't apply), you ask for a return of the favor, which you may or may not get. I may have been a little out of line-(but still no name calling)--but you sweetie---you should take some of the jackass credit. You earned it also. Look at you! Your flat out absolutly beautifull!! and I feel you probably have decient intellect and heart. Are all the guys here for the last year jackasses? Ask yourself--why are you still here? You must get hundreds of messages each month (and you might answer one or two). Surely, one of them must not be a jackass. Piss on a man though--and he can become a jackass pretty quick (Same goes with pissing on a lady--figure of speech). If he thinks--"no big deal" than he might think "no big deal" if he leaves you also.
I put my heart into those first messages, and you round filed them, thinking nothing of it. You have a lot of gall calling anybody a jackass that sent you a good message that you threw away. What do you expect---flowers? I am still here only for the reason that the ladies I message usually don't reply (I don't have that problem from the few I have messaged outside of Michigan--but what good does that do me). Why do you think you are still here? If you send out 10 messages-- you will get 10 replies. Talk to people---it works. You better be out of here in three weeks. :)
I would show you gals some of the turn down's I have written to people, but I believe in privacy, and won't do that. But I can tell you this. I can teach a class on it and make a lot of money here.
You never even told me you like very tall guys (just checked your profile again)--you just called me a jerk when I got a bit pissy with you on the third message. Which brings up the question--Why would anybody reply to a pissy message, before they reply to a nice one?
And to add---nobody who knows me has ever called me a jackass---but you did not take any time to see that. How may good guys do you think you have dissed so far? Your still here. | |
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