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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:10:46 PM |
Ok, I would date a person without a car if their reason for not having a car was because they lived in the city.
What I don't get is , why is it selfish or arrogant to say you wouldnt date someone without a car? Having a car is not always a "status" symbol, as some would like to believe. Its a mode of transportation, it may also be a reflection of who you are, and in most (but not all) cases it shows some form of responsibility. I wouldnt date someone that didnt own a car because they were not self sufficient or responsible enough to get one.
Well said my friend. | |
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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 6/14/2006 7:23:04 PM | | You know Louis I am self sufficient and responsible. I got my license back in 1978 and have kept it renewed every time. The problem is I am not comfortable driving, plain fact. So should I go out and get a car for the sake of having a date, just so I could kill myself? Wow, if this thread got any more shallow, the well would be empty! | |
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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 6/14/2006 7:41:37 PM | Sure, I will date a guy without a car. And, if you're not comfortable driving on highways or at night, I'd rather that you tell me up front rather than be nervous and on edge because you have to drive home afterwards.
I have no problem arranging to meet at wherever we're going and splitting the tab for the first few dates, either. And if it's my invitation to you, I'll spring for the whole tab except booze - you want to drink, you pay for your own (and if you drink, you shouldn't drive).
After I get to know you a bit, I'll even pick you up if you don't mind riding shotgun in my truck. If I do all the fetching, it'd be nice if you kicked in a bit for gas once in a while. There are places that we might want to go that aren't accessible by public transit or cabs.
I'd rather drive than be driven anytime! | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 6/14/2006 7:43:28 PM | Dear Mr. Awesome:
You're so intelligent, you make my mind race, and open up whole new worlds for me to ponder. I really enjoy reading you're posts. You're witty and insightful, and from what you write, anyways, you seems to be of pretty strong moral fibre. We share common interests, and never once have I been at a loss for things to discuss with you. We seem very compatible. I felt a click. Did you feel a click? Yes, I'd love to meet you sometime.
WHAT???!!! You don't have a CAR? Pfft, back off, Pal!
Yeah. I would date someone who doesn't have a car. Funny... I never ever thought this might be a criteria for someone...
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 180 | |
| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 6/15/2006 10:13:33 PM | Thunder
Ya know I had an email almost the same as that one. Once I told her the bus would be my way and that if I was heading out towards her area, I would have to either catch the last bus or crash at my sisters place. Weird - never mentioned even thinking of sleeping at her place or with her and she was never to hear from again.
The lack of wheels and someone not willing to spend time getting to know someone shows how shallow people can really be.
BTW, to fill my tank today it would of cost me $68.00
I actually keep track cause I figure I am saving some cash, and in the past 5-6 months about $1300.00 to date ( or not to date lol ) | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 6/15/2006 10:25:04 PM |
...about $1300.00 to date ( or not to date lol )
Good one, Shappy!
Seriously? You never heard from her again? Wow, that's so nutty to me!
I do have to agree with.... The ladies up there, though.... if it's because someone is too irresponsible to save for/maintain a car, well... I guess that's indicitave of a flaw in the responsibility department, but then, how would you know it's because they're irresponsible unless you got to know them a bit?
Hmm.... | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 6/16/2006 12:57:41 PM | Heavenswhisper
You know Louis I am self sufficient and responsible. I got my license back in 1978 and have kept it renewed every time. The problem is I am not comfortable driving, plain fact. So should I go out and get a car for the sake of having a date, just so I could kill myself? Wow, if this thread got any more shallow, the well would be empty!
Maybe you didnt take the time to read the entire post, or just decided you would selectivly read it...
Ok, I would date a person without a car if their reason for not having a car was because they lived in the city
I guess I should have added "or were afraid to drive". my bad...
I wouldnt date someone that didnt own a car because they were not self sufficient or responsible enough to get one.
I guess I need to spell this out for you...It says I would date someone without a car for reasons other than a lack of responsibility or self sufficiency...
Then again, unlike some I dont think owning a car a home or any other possessions as an indication of a persons lack of depth.
I own more than 2 cars a bike and my home, does that make me shallow?
Or does it say I am interested in cars (which I am, and bikes) and would prefer to own my home rather than rent it? | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/1/2006 6:44:50 AM | To the OP.... Fleurty??
I opted for the smart-*ss flavoured answer, but I would like to know... how do you go about deciding who you like? Is "Do you have a car?" one of your first questions, just in case they turn out to be awesome and *then* turn out to be car-less?
Just curious, not judging ~ different strokes and personal choice and all that...
~Thunder
EDIT: Ooops, not OP at all, but Fleurty, since you said in the "Undateable..." thread that you've taken so much flack over this.... | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/1/2006 7:11:16 AM | | well, y'know, it is hard to make out in the back seat of the bus with that old lady beside you, and they can't park the bus at "Inspiration Point", so I guess a car IS useful ... | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/1/2006 7:46:48 AM | Hmmm interesting post...
I dated someone for 3 years, years and years ago, who lived in Toronto, had a driver's license but because of living in the city ...didn't have a car...We used my car which I have had one since I have been 16..we split the driving on dates..split the gas..he took the train or bus out..I went there, he came here..I had no problem with it..because he shared in the costs of the vehicle...no, I could financially look after myself, thank you very much..but he felt he should..so we split everything for 3 years..insurance, gas, upkeep yada yada..
hmmm would I now do the same thing..possibly..if it was the same and he didn't expect me to pick him up, drive constantly..etc etc..and shared in it all..
just my two cents worth..
GEB | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/1/2006 8:56:44 AM | My last long term gf actually shafted me for a vehicle. Call me naive, but it will only happen once ...
She had kids with separtate fathers, and I was becoming a taxi, as she didn't have a vehicle. Shortly after we moved in together, she ended up with custody of her youngest, and the bike ride was a lot for the little one, so when a vehicle became available, I fronted the cash for it. Stupidly, I also had it put in my name, which ended up leaving me responsible for insurance, and upkeep as well. But I paid it, as the convenience of not being a taxi all the time, let alone dealing with the a$$hole ex's was worth it - for a while. It turned to resentment when I caught her bragging abiout how SHE bought this vehicle and how it was HERS, without even acknowledging my contribution - which was the majority of the cost!! (she didn't pay her share, and I even filled it ($65 a pop!) occasionally)
In the end, we were living in the country and I left because of a lot of reasons. She snapped because I used the van to take the garbage the 5 kilometers to the dumpster at work and noticed the gas was low, meanwhile I was also offering the ten dollars in my wallet to fill it up! SHe said $10 wasn't going to get her squat for gas and I thought "Holy Sh!t, she's got nerve!", and I asked her since when did I need her permission to drive MY van ...
Anyway, it got nasty and finally I had had enough. I left her the van for a while, until she drove it across the province to hook up with a fling, and was very free as to offering other people the keys. I was going to just go out and take it, but couldn't leave the kids in the middle of butt-fk no where farmland, where there wasn't even a general store for miles, so I saw three options:
1- take it anyway
2- let her drive it on my insurance with no accountability
3- give it to her and have her deal with it.
I chose option 3, as I had no real use for it anyway. It grates me that she had claimed ownership, and certainly abused the favour, but in an emergency with the kids, my conscience wouldn't have been able to take it.
So ya, I got shafted, but I took one for the team.
Later, I was involved with someone who didn't have a vehicle, but, not knowing the story, was determined to exercise her independance and would refuse to let me pick her up sometimes, and I respected that. We met at destinations and had a good time, despite how we got there.
So, yes I will still date someone without a vehicle, but I'm not going to get stupid about it again (sorry Ladies, but that only happens once!). | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/24/2006 3:38:45 AM | A few months ago, I decided to stage my own personal rebellion against the oil companies, by refusing to drive my car for 60 days. I used public transportation to go everywhere, and it was an interesting experience. It was relaxing to not fight traffic everyday, and I got a lot of work done on my laptop during the ride, and while waiting for transfers. Trips to the grocery store and such were a bit inconvenient, but still manageable. I found that I organized my time better and combined multiple errands into a single trip a lot more frequently than when I was driving everywhere.
Overall, it worked out great -- I saved a lot of time and money, and did my small part to help the environment. One interesting thing I noticed was that I got treated as a second-class citizen because I was riding the bus. I never experienced this using public transportation overseas, so I think this is purely an American bias. On several occasions I made a point of flirting with women and then breaking off the conversation by saying, "I have to go catch my bus." I think I would have gotten the same reaction if I'd said, "I have to report back to the prison by 6 PM, or they'll cut off my work furlough." | |
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Hezron
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 189 | |
| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:10:14 AM | | People tend to talk all kinds of wonderful stuff about themselves but when it comes down to actions there seems to be a huge gap. I hear people talking abouyt global warming and the environment and the terrible air quality in our cities...the fact that we have to bomb other countries now and again to feed our addiction to fast and private transportation. But almost nobody is willing to actually try and do something about it. I do not have a car. I walk an hour to work and then run home at the end of the day. keeps me in shape, I save on gas (I love jogging by the gas station) and I do not have to pay the ridiculous insurance...(Don't even get me started on what a scam insurance is....you pay your base premium for nothing...it is free money in the big pockets) Yet with all of this most people are still stuck in the mode of thinking people without cars are second class. The good thing is that when you meet somebody special...something material like that has nothing to do with how you enjoy each other and how you feel. :) | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 8/3/2006 7:32:43 AM | I don't have a car..I live a 10 minute walk to the subway and I am a 20 minute subway ride to work, i have saved alot of money not owning one. Gas, insurance, upkeep. But still women have based their decision on refusing to bother with me because I do not own a car. Yet I don't look at it that way to them. One woman says of course not you men are supposed to pick us women up all the time. Wow, I said are you going to start paying for half th expenses of the car..she says ya right, this is 2006 buddy not 1986..LOL..I have NEVER expected a woman to drive me around town. many times over the years when I was going on a date or dating someone with a car I always refused to have her come and pick me up, even when she offered. Funny thing is all i hear from women is "I am not a chauffuer to men" like every guy expects that...sorry not this guy, but then again I have yet to prove that to a woman lately being single, their immediate assumption is I expect...
I just have no need for a car that I live in Toronto. One of my co-workers bought a condo recently downtown so he can walk to work in 15 minutes, him and his wife work downtown. He said paying for a space at the condo is pointless when it is crazy to drive downtown Toronto. So he sold his car.
Why is a vehicle so important and such a basis to date someone? Is it that it tells you what the person is like? I know people who are broke after paying for their car, mortgage/rent, etc. Some I know parked their car and only drive it in the winter making it cheaper because of the insurance rates and gas prices here in Toronto. | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 8/3/2006 7:51:26 AM | People tend to talk all kinds of wonderful stuff about themselves but when it comes down to actions there seems to be a huge gap
So true. Amen to that.
I don't think it's wise in the end to deny an opportunity for you and someone else you find attractive to date, just because the other person lacks in a commodity.
Who's to say that once you start dating him/her that they won't change their mind, or change their views on having... in this case a vehicle?
As have been mentioned above, there are many reasons why someone may choose to be without a vehicle at the present time.
And this isnt' about 'standards' either. I have heard women (and men) before say that their 'standards' won't let them see ANYONE who lack a certain amount of ... let's say material items.
I'm by no means saying it isn't preferred that you would like to start dating someone with a vehicle, house, or other things that makes life a lot more 'enjoyable' and able to see and go places (arguably at that as well).
In the end, I'm a firm believer in the saying: 'to each their own'. As long as you actually have a GOOD idea of what it is you are looking for and why, the sky's the limit and you generally will have greater success in your quest for a bright and wonderful future. | |
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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 8/3/2006 8:22:29 AM | i'm reading hot button words like self sufficiency and responsibility here so here's my 2.....
there are many reasons one may CHOOSE not to drive that have nothing at all to do with self sufficiency and responsibility. i'm one of the most responsible people you could meet (my humour in these threads may suggest otherwise, but don't let it fool you entirely).
i choose not to drive as it is a very big fear of mine. you can send me sky-diving and i'll be the first out of the plane, but i'll be damned if i'm operating a motor vehicle! can i explain it? no. was i in a traumatic accident? no on that count as well. it's just an extreme fear is all.
so would i date a guy with no car? absolutely (and i have).
does a car make one's life easier? - of course, but if your life works without it and you can't overcome your fear at the present time i say: menh, there's more to me than my ability to drive.
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 8/3/2006 8:25:25 AM | | Wow, this thread has been an interesting read, quite a few superficial people on this site. I don't own a car and never got a drivers licence by choice and if someone wants to judge me for that, so be it, they are not worth my time. By the time i was 15 i was an alcoholic and i knew i had this problem. Would you believe it actually made me more popular in school? By choice at that time i never got a licence because i just didn't trust myself. By 18 i was starting to get into trouble because of this problem. At 21 i became a father and it took me another year before i realized i didn't want my daughter to go through the upbringing i had. I finally opened my eyes and saw what i was becoming. I gave up the partying and began dedicating my life to my daughter. At this point my life changed, i realized i had no friends, my relationship with my daughters' mom ended, mainly because i was no longer the bad boy she was attracted to. I got my life back in gear and started working full time. Over the years i have never really felt a need for a car. Raising my daughter and getting to the point where i am at now i just never had the time to go get a licence. So i guess some people don't drive for different reasons but i don't think they are any less of a person for it. | |
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| Walk Softly and Carry a Big Bus Pass
Posted: 8/3/2006 8:36:55 AM | | Ok i'm not reading the entire thread but as for the question asked! Yes I will date a guy even though he does not have a car! When u live in a big city like Toronto and u have a great transit system with extensions to other great transit systems than why not I must ask??? Is it because u are worried that they will not be able to pick u up and show u off in their fancy ride? Hmpph! Sounds like the ones that do really care what u drive have one thing on their mind and I can guarantee it won't be how u treat them!!! I myself never bothered to get a license nevermind a vehicle seeing as I live downtown and everything I need is close to me! JMHO!!! | |
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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 8/6/2006 4:57:51 AM | Yes I would and have dated men without a car..whats the big deal? I love to drive and also if and when I want to leave I can just drop them off and go. I suppose it allows me some control over how things progress or don't. Anyway keep fishing...I'm sure there are others that think/feel as I do.  | |
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| Would you date a guy without a car
Posted: 8/6/2006 5:53:04 AM | wow?? superficial,?? I dont think I am if you read back to my post in here I dont care if he drives or not , I walk every where and If I need to go out side of my area I take the bus or have friends that will drive me , (we always like rode trips lol) I have never had a drivers licence but have manage to go to BC , New York and other places , I plan it out ,save my cash ,and go , I would hope the same from him,
I plan on getting My drivers licence (been able to drive since 13) but like everything its a big cost , Insurance , repairs , Gas , etc , I can do more with out having a car lol
so no...... its no Big Deal to me !! | |
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