| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 4/14/2006 10:28:01 AM | | Maybe because they don't agree with your assessment? Because they like to make up their own mind? How would anyone know who is the best person for somebody else to be with? Just because you want them to like you? Sorry...the same thing I am sure could be said by the ladies about many men. | |
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| Why do some people ignore others who might be best for them?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:26:48 AM |
^^^I think it works for some but not many.
For me perosnally, I have way more female friends than male friends and most I met way back in my late teens/early 20's and liked them when i first met them. Now we are great friends, share with one another our dating ups and downs, ask for advise, annoy one another, go to lunch. But will never go anywhere else...even though they will say they think i am a good looking guy because they know me peronoally, yet most women for example say I am an average looking guy. And I am sure there are traits that they like about me that they look for in guys as I will admit that a few have traits I admire and look for in women...but can bet my life not one would change thier mind after all these years and date me...so happens for some but not many I think.
Yep, I would agree, but I often wonder if it "should" happen more lol. You also mention something interesting in that while most would say you are average looking, your friends think you are good looking. I've always felt that the more you get to know someone (providing they aren't severely warped) the more they "look" better to you and that's when real affection for another person begins.
lol, I had a look at your profile too and I keep all the candy..... | |
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| Why do some people ignore others who might be best for them?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:32:31 AM | I dont know why some women do.Maybe its because they are so used to be treated a certain way that anything else feels foreign and uncomfortable to them.It seems kind of like twisted logic,but Ive seen this enough to know it happens.Im looking for someone with integrity who will treat me well. | |
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| Why do some people ignore others who might be best for them?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:57:51 AM | Shadow nailed it "Maybe because they don't agree with your assessment? Because they like to make up their own mind? How would anyone know who is the best person for somebody else to be with? Just because you want them to like you? Sorry...the same thing I am sure could be said by the ladies about many men."
Sounds like another thread where some guy who thinks he's a good guy writes to a woman who wants a good guy and doesn't understand why she doesn't write back. We can only speak and act for ourselves rather than make judgments about the actions of others. | |
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| Why do some people ignore others who might be best for them?
Posted: 4/14/2006 3:38:23 PM | | My answer is maybe we don't feel we deserve or could get a " nice " guy. I think of myself as a reasonably attractive woman, intelligent and witty. And here I sit single. Is it because I rush into things, don't think things through, act on shear sexual instinct, beleive every sad pitiful line?? You'd think by now at my age I must have learnt something. I have learnt that perhaps I will be alone for a long time but it isnt the end of the world. The right man is out there somewhere and I need to sit back, not worry about it, concentrate on my 4 beautiful kids and my job and just do what I need to do for myself as well as my kids. They love me for who I am. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:14:01 PM | When women are looking for something in a man thats just part of wat we tell men. See the reason for this is if a man know wat a women is lookin for that is wat they will show out of deceiving. Thats why patience is the best policy. Jus because we see one quality that u know we are expecting doesnt make u right. Its other things that need to be revealed and confirmed to make a women feel safe. Why rush and open your heart to someone who might still be a cheater, abuser and or whatever. when u rush u set yourself up to disappointments. If u dont rush then u dont have anything to be disappointed about because before u went into the fire. u made a u turn.    | |
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zaryma
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Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 59 | |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:30:17 PM | Attraction is not a choice. Period. It happens practically instantly. Nice doesnt generate attraction. Nice works well once attraction is established. And even if attraction isn't established, nice makes for great friends :)
Attraction is not the same thing as being attractive. Although being attractive gets alot of attraction points...Women have it rougher than men in this zone...
Its not judging...its attraction. and its not a choice. Its not shallowness either, its primal.
Ok...flame away...LOL! | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:35:14 PM | IMO the two short answers (aside from the obvious lack of attraction) are:
1. a guy can have a dozen great qualities, but also have one or more "dealbreaker qualities" or be lacking one or more crucial qualities.
2. Circumstances sometimes get in the way of what "should" be a perfect match.
Bottom line is if someone doesn't agree that you're "the best" one for them, then you're not. And if you insist you are, and manage to convince them...in the long run they may realise they should have gone with their first instincts, and/or you may always wonder if, after their initial insistance that you weren't the one, they "settled" and end up resenting them for it. Not exactly conducive to happily-ever-after. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:28:33 AM | Gotta put my two cents worth in...
I've had to stuggle with this my whole life. I'm the guy the women would come to talk to after their boyfriends hurt them in some way. Then they would go back to him. Lesson learned...
I beleive that we are all borne with a preconceived notion of what "pretty" is, hence "chemistry". Not what our current society is so wrapped up in, but an individual thing. I'm one of those preverbial "Good guys". Women don't stop to stare at my butt when I go by. I had to learn to focus on my own positive atributes and practice patience. All the major relationships in my life developed over time. So what are you hoping for, quality or quantity? Be patient and explore posibilities when they arise.
Hint: our frustration is apparent in our words and actions "body language" so try to relax. : laugh: | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:50:45 PM | Perhaps there is something ELSE about the man that outweighs the thing that he has that she's looking for. Each of us is a package, not separate parts.
As an example, if I meet a man that has all the qualities I say that I'm looking for, but he has an addiction that I can't tolerate (alcohol, drugs, porn) or is 45 years old and still lives with his mother who still takes care of him, etc., then I won't date him. If he calls me 20 times a day but we've only gone out twice, then there won't be a third date. If he's a kind and generous man that only showers once a month, I doubt that's a relationship that's going to get very far.
Try taking a step back and looking at the big picture. Maybe there's something else there that's causing the problem.
Good luck!
~Grin | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:38:53 PM | "Best" is a fluid thing. When some of us men endeavor to be be more than the negative caricature tossed about it takes a woman who values this to be a good match. None of us has the right to dictate to another what is or isn't best for them. All you can do is stand your ground and wait for the woman to see and love your attributes.
Very people will assess themselves in a way that matches the external perception that others have of them making anytime of "matching" algorithm difficult. The fact that love is anything but logical further compounds the issue.
Finding a mate is as much about dumb luck as anything else. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:55:24 PM | ~OT~ Just because a man might think he's got the qualities I might be looking for, doesn't necessarily mean he does. We see ourselves very differently than others see us. The last time I tried to embark towards a ltr, he thought I was perfect for him ~ I thought he was tragically misguided and he definitely was not the man for me, regardless of what he thought. You can't force someone to feel anything. Likewsie, I'm certain I've thought someone may be great for me, only for them to feel quite opposite. Just like all of the "nice guys" out there ~ what is considered nice by one person doesn't necessarily mean others view it that way (and yes, nice women too!!) JMO  | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:25:44 AM | IMO, this isn't limited to females. Males do the same thing. The first problem is people have a hard time judging themselves. Being honest with one self doesn't seem to be a trend around here. People are picky and yet they have personality traits that are undesirable themselves and cannot see that they aren't such a great catch either.
You read or hear that a person is looking for someone with X qualities. So they try to find the best looking person that matches those requirements. They will ignore personality flaws for looks and attraction, and compromise thier own requirements for superficial reasons. So instead of looking for someone that they will have a long term relationship with and grow old together, they're living in the "Now".
That's all fine and dandy until you find that the other good looking person is cheating, has a STD, is shallow, doesn't support you or care as much as you do, etc.
To each their own though. Live and learn. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:20:29 AM | I'll go along with 'VGE'...You can't Force someone to like you...
Either they Trust the Openness, Honesty and Sincerity
that is posted in your Profile, and Forums...or they Don't!!
[Don't See it...or...Believe it!]
All we can do is our best..at impressing a certain slice of the opposite sex, and hope that they have the good taste to Identify potential chemistry..!! | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:03:58 PM | And I can't figure out why some men ar so bad at seeing the signs When She's Just Not That Into YOU ( emphasis on YOU ) and then get all tweaked because they spent months trying to win someone over that clearly was not into them
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:14:34 PM | how about those men that turn a 'blind eye' 2 a female that has an interest in him & he turns around & goes 4 something he thinks 'is better' & tosses the female who has interest in him aside?.. i mean she has all the qualities he`s looking 4 & then some.. hummmm something 2 think about..  .. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:09:38 AM |
basically some people are pretenders and others are indeed genuine about who they want and are not playing "lest pretend" with themselves.
There are genuine people out there,
I couldnt agree more, great advice! I have a thread in the over 30's rm revolving around the same subject....Patience, youll find the one or she'll find you | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best man for them?
Posted: 6/18/2008 11:05:47 AM |
What women say they want, isn't what they really want. The quicker you realise that the better off you'll be.
DING DING DING! We have a winner!
I know lots of attractive, tall, childless, extremely successful desireable men who are "perfect" according to any women's description of the perfect men, but I will no longer introduce them to women I meet because they ditch them for the DUMBEST of reasons. Most recently was 'he doesn't have long sideburns, and I like those now'.
Women will NOT date the person they describe when asked what they are looking for. They'll always come up with a nonsense excuse, 'oh, one of his shoelaces was untied when he picked me up, he is sloppy', or 'he paid the bill with exact change in cash instead of a credit card - that means he's cheap'. Yes, I have been told these excuses about my friends by aging women with sagging body parts working low end temp or sales jobs who have nothing going for them and should have done ANYTHING to keep these guys. But it's much cooler and ego boosting for them to blow them off, thereby proving to herself that she's 'selective' and able to attract men.
Cat sales are going to skyrocket. | |
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| Why do some women ignore what might be the best man for them?
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:08:58 PM |
Cat sales are going to skyrocket. 
That's feckin hilarious (and probably true.) I'm gonna have to remember that one. Forget oil, agricultural items, industrial metals, and carbon emissions - kittens will be the next hot commodity! | |
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