| |
| |
| |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:05:40 PM | "erik"....I can't figure out why SOME (key word) men in their 30s ignore some women who show they are intrested in them either i mean some women do these things and some men do these things, i guess we all just have to be more careful on who we chose.
(Not every woman will be that way just have to wait it out, she'll come along) | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:24:58 PM | | And *who* is the authority or person qualified to determine who is the 'best man' for a woman? I'm sure you didn't intend it to come across this way, but that sounds sort of arrogant and presumptuous? Just because one person thinks they're the best match for someone, it doesn't make it so. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 6:28:51 AM | | OP, men do the exact same thing. Perhaps the reason is fear, insecurity, denial, depression, feeling less than worthy, and on and on. I don't know that there is one set answer for this question. The saddest part of it all is that both people get hurt, one is left aching for what he/she can't have, and the other is just clueless. Sometimes, if the other person would just step outside the fear and take a chance...... | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:20:34 AM | Well, if *we* (and I mean everyone here, including myself) were such experts picking our significant other, we probably wouldn't be on this board or website. 
My theory is that women fall into this subset called people, and this is a normal reaction for any person. Why grab for the apple nearby when you can stretch and get that juicy one that just barely out of reach. Also factor in the "nice" person may come across as boring because it is assumed that they will be predictable. Just a thought. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:49:44 AM | First, both men and women do this...
The OP asked about women.
I think women are not attracted to good guys in their gut raw sexual nature. They are attracted to strong protectors. Confidence, ability to pull women, etc...all subconciously trigger thoughts that a male will protect the nest from intruders. A woman can typically feel positively giddy about the guy that "got game". Of course ultimately, they are unrealistically rather hoping that they can turn that guy into a respectable man.
Modern, thinking women consciously know that this is probably not the best actual modern male for them in practical terms. Which is why they tend to try to change those guys into nice guys the first chance they can. So they are stuck between their inner carnal desire for the warrior man, and their conscious modern thinking desire for a nice man that has a good job and will make a good friend and partner and won't stray.
Like I said, men do the same thing for slightly different reasons, but it comes down to the same thing....being attracted to virility and the sexy allure of the temptress.....vs....finding a nice solid woman you can rely on to actually help raise the kids in a good practical way.
The sexy allure is subconcious and driven a lot by hormones, the desire for someone practical is conscious.
Ultimately, if you want to make a woman both fall in love with you and be happy to be with you in the long run, you need to appeal first to her hormones, not her mind. You have to be a strong warrior man. You have to appeal to her sexually. After that you can let your real nerd out so that she can depend on you too. | |
|
| |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:11:32 PM | "I don't know. Why do men think an 18 year old with not all her own body parts and really big hair makes him look like a stud?"
Because she matches the sportscar we bought during the beginning of our mid-life crisis - gotta think outside the box ... 
(By the way, if someone did that to you, they should be beat to death with a ball-peen hammer - you're hot!) | |
|
| |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:59:12 PM | I can only say that I'm the Best man for SOMEone....
..[maybe even Several Someones...] - I've certainly Tried..!!! -
It's just up to Someone to Agree...!!!
As long as there isn't so much * emphasis on 'Distance'...!!!
I'd be GLAD to DO the Moving...!!!
Before anyone discards me for being "Too Far Away..'
Let's Chat, and find out if we have the Chemistry to _Discuss It_...!! | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:51:06 PM | One person's idea of who might be best for another person, might very well not match that other person's idea of what is right for them. Even if they say, "I like a, b, c, and d," that doesn't mean they ONLY care about those things. Maybe there is e-h that is also very important to them, just not the top points of compatibility. They also may not be mentioning their deal-breakers, attributes that negate the presence of any number of desirables.
For me a deal-breaker is that if when I interact with a man I feel like I'm relating to a boy, I won't feel sexual desire. I think it is hard-wired into women to be turned off by youthfulness in a way it is not for men. Actually men seem to be hardwired to be turned on by it. So, for example, if I have to look down to meet a guy's eyes because he is shorter than me, that's an instant turn off. There is no chance I will ever feel sexually attracted to him, however much I might love to develop a friendship with him. There are other deal breakers that preclude my even wanting a friendship, such as rudeness.
In the end, women don't usually ignore the men who would be best for them whenever they actually know what type of man would be best for them, unless we are feeling insecure because he's sooooo perfect he scares us. Even then, he just has to make the first move, and he'll definitely have our attention. If we are ignoring a guy as a potential romantic partner, it's because he either isn't what is right for us, or isn't what we believe is right for us. You can't expect perfect self-knowledge out of everyone. Most people have huge blind-spots. That's what friends are for. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:04:05 PM | "Sorry to say, we have a mindset of what we are looking for. Cute is good. But when you want cute and funny or cute and sexy, then you are going to pass up a guy who is just cute."
Don't worry, since the same can be said about guys as well. If you see a woman that is cute, and another that is cute and sexy, guys will pick the latter as well. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:31:10 AM | Hi Erik 37,
Sometimes its just not that easy to see the best qualities in a man. Often the worst person for you is charming and flatters you then leaves you high and dry. Keep working at finding the right one for you because when you meet her you will know that the waiting you have done is for a good reason.
Bye Winterdoe | |
|
| |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:29:42 PM | | I was going to post a thread like this, but it's already up...saves the time and/or embarssment. :P Anyway, I've asked myself this many a times, and have even asked a friend of mine who used to be on here. She told me to be patient. It's frustrating though at times. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:06:31 PM | It's a matter of opinion. Just because a guy thinks he can be all that I'm looking for, doesn't mean he actually is all of the things I'm looking for. I have a lot of dreams and goals that I don't tell anyone, and just because someone thinks they are my "right now" doesn't mean they will remain that way...
Although, I can't say that I've found exactly what I'm looking for yet. I guess thats why I'm ... Still Looking...
CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:11:38 PM | It's simple really mate. I'll explain using the Example of a Buffet Meal.
When I man walks on his own to a Buffet he see's Steak , pudding and salad . While the salad might be what he really needs(and yeh I'm guilty of this) but he wants Steak & Pudding so thats what he gets . Doesn't give a thought to what it will do to his arteries or his waste line.
When a woman walks on their own to the same buffet they are thinking they would like the food that is yummy but loaded with calories and they end up taking the salad because they do think of the effect on their wasteline.
What a man wants he generally goes for regardless of anything else. What a woman wants and what she really wants are often different. Thats not slamming women just seems to be the way it works. Men look for similarities and women look for opposites to keep it interesting | |
|
isoU
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 95 | |
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:57:42 PM | Because ... all they want is a good looking great lover rich guy who spends money on them and cuddles to their whims.
They have this delusional idea ... those that do NOT have this mental sickness are usually happily married. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:24:33 PM | | I wasn't inclined to read all four pages, but there's a simple explanation: we resist what is good for us in favor of what feels good. I know fast food is bad news for my body and yet I eat it all the time. Every smoker knows what those things do to the lungs, yet they puff away. We prefer the immediate benefits to the long-term benefits. Sucks, but there it is. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/14/2008 4:51:22 AM | I think women are not attracted to good guys in their gut raw sexual nature. They are attracted to strong protectors. Confidence, ability to pull women, etc...all subconciously trigger thoughts that a male will protect the nest from intruders. A woman can typically feel positively giddy about the guy that "got game". Of course ultimately, they are unrealistically rather hoping that they can turn that guy into a respectable man.
I agree with most of what you said borntoski, but I KNOW that the good guys are also strong protectors. I grew up with men like that. My brothers never lacked for girlfriends and they ARE nice guys. They always had one girlfriend, they were not serial daters. Quite a few girls were gaga over them - was quite annoying actually lol.
For some women, appealing to her mind is part of the hormone appeal too - a sexy man who has no brain or communication skills does nothing for me. As for turning a guy into a respectable man? One would think that as adults, most men would already be halfway (lol) respectable no? Then the woman can work on the other half? :D
Men look for similarities and women look for opposites to keep it interesting
I disagree with this....I think a balance is good. Too much like each other and it's annoying, but you need some differences. What's important is the "important" similarities, those things we refer to as values, morals etc. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:37:05 AM | | They ignore you or don't want a romantic relationship with you for the simple fact that they are not physically attracted to you. Now would you honestly want a woman to be with you who felt no physical attraction at all? Besides maybe she would like to make her own decisions on who is best for her, and not have someone else doing that. | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:16:10 AM |
I cann't figure it out, why women who say they are looking for something in a man, and when they find him they don't see it? Just wondering.
Because one man may be able to offer them everything they want but if she is not attracted to him then it aint gonna happen! | |
|
| Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them?
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:26:30 PM | | Ha ha ha...well, I have a somewhat funnt story for ya, I will try to keep it short! I normally have a "type" as we all do, that we are attracted to. So, I did the opposite...giving person #2 from this site that I met, the benefit of the doubt...he portrayed EVERYTHING that would be what I felt was good for "me". Needless to say, he turned out to be a total liar, and made life more complicated. The bottom line is, two people really need to spend quality time together. And that will be the determining factor. The only way we will ever see what is good for us, is quality time spent. If someone does not want to give you a chance, move on. Better to see it in the beginning. :) | |
|
Home
login 
everyone.
