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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:02:41 AM | i dont understand why women like the so called bad boy and not a man withn a big heart ...and looks | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:47:18 PM | I think the reason girls want a bad boy is probably because they were young they wanted that bad boy the parents didnt want them to date. They probably also want to rebel a bit, but I do not know what the definition of a bad boy is? Skoal dipping motorcycle ridden smells like sweat beats and yells at them type of guy? I guess that is what they want.
I personally had a girl I was dating me tell me I'm not bad enough for her or something like that. I am pretty conservative (Naval Academy, makes me) and I tend to be that nice guy, well 4 months later she is calling me back blah blah blah. Right you had your chance move on.
I think throughout highschool I had that nice guy image, LTRs very respectful but the girls were not turned on to it now its like  as all these old flames are coming back. Oh well. but trying to understand women is like trying to find the meaning of life you can try all you want but you will never find an answer. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 12/25/2007 4:13:11 PM | | Do you ever stop and think there are more women than men? So we men should have it made right? However to many men have given up there manhood to the women. I like it when women say, "well if I were a man I would" well honey your not a man your a woman, and you will never no what it is to be a man. When children break something they turn to Mom and Dad to fix it, when a wife or girl friend breaks something they turn to there man. Who does the man turn to. No one he as to figure it out on his own. So gentleman stop giving your manhood away. Be a Man, and when the girls start to cry and act like little spoiled children, that can not have there way. (They want there cake and eat it to) Put your foot down. Remember, there are more of them, then there of us. Let it be known you have the earning power, you bring more to the table then they can ever bring. It is time to tell them It is not about them, It is about us. Men!! Respect your brother, act like Men. You do not cuss, take care of your children, make all your actions count, and if the women wants to play games and most of them do, while they say they do not , cut them loose. You see we never have any doubt about who we are, they do, they have issue with self in there early teens. Need I say any more. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:40:17 AM | | It has been my expereince that a lot of women are intrigued by the bad boys and are attracted to them. But then they end up disillusioned and not trusting any man at all. It is another case of the bad makig it hard on the few good ones out there. I have had issues in the past where a woman didnt know how to act when treated right, she got nasty , but wqhen treated like crap was all loving and attentive....I dont get this, it is true for a lot of women, wish someone would explain to me....PLEASE, lol. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:02:24 PM | | well its apparent that your mother and father never taught you about the lie. As most humans. All monkeys do what thet see. I'm cool and just glad when I ****ed all the ladies I did. I said where do you want it? lol. Otherwise they were setting me up...I'm glad they were ****ing me for just a **** than wanting a kid. Smart guys finish last and thats ok with me. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 1/18/2008 5:46:46 PM |
I have had issues in the past where a woman didnt know how to act when treated right, she got nasty , but wqhen treated like crap was all loving and attentive....I dont get this, it is true for a lot of women, wish someone would explain to me....PLEASE, lol.
Its programming working in conjunction with self-esteem. People gravitate towards what they know. When you've been treated badly in the past - previous relationships, whether romantic or familial - even if you know its not great that's still what you unconsciously move towards because its familiar. Used to being treated like crap? You're going to allow it over and over until you realize the pattern and break the cycle. Some nice guy comes along and wants to treat you well and that isn't what you're used to - its confusing. What's the catch? What's his motivation in doing this? Why isn't he treating me like I'm used to being treated? What's his problem??
Its psychological programming working against your better interests.
It works both ways though. The nice guy, who wants to treat someone good but isn't given the chance to, can start to expect to be treated badly by women and gravitate towards those who will do so.
Nasty cycles, all of it. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:03:39 AM | I disagree completely with the assertion that nice guys finish last. There are posts on this thread that seem to be good guys who have had some problems with women but want to rationalize those problems and excuse their own actions by placing all reasoning for a relationship not working or for women not being attracted to them on the fact that women want bad boys or on some so called 'cave man theory.' The OP even said in his post that he and his wife had little in common and only married because she was pregnant. There are obviously other reasons for the marriage not to have been successful other than that he is a 'nice guy.'
My opinion is that good men do not finish last. This is a misconception. Most of the women I know have good men in their lives, they are their partners or their husbands. They are valued by these women for being good, decent men. However, they are also men of character, will, personality, etc. The men who complain about women not wanting a 'good man' are men who, for various reasons, do not have a personality that engages the personality of the woman or women they are interested in. Like the idea of treating a woman like a 'queen.' Many women don't want to be treated like a queen or a princess. For example, I am a strong, thinking, independent individual and I want a man who is all those things too. I want an equal, a peer. I don't need someone to cater to me or take care of me.
For example, in the OP's post, he suggested that he devoted himself to making a good income and supporting his family well. It seemed like he put a lot of emphasis on that but not on being part of the family in other ways, hence why his wife told him she was not interested in money: she meant he spent too much effort making money and not being an emotional, intellectual partner for her. There are many reasons why a woman is not attracted to a man or why a relationship doesn't work, being a 'nice guy' per se is one of them.
There are some women, mostly younger or older who are immature, who are still attracted to the 'bad boy' thing; but most grow past that stage. If they haven't, then move on and find one who has. One thing that is definitely unattractive in a man is constantly complaining that women don't want him because they don't want good men.
Also, the definition of a 'good guy' is very questionable. Lots of men who consider themselves good guys are not. I've come across such men who seem nice on the surface, but underneath the are doing all kinds of things that are not what I would call nice: like being passive agressive, not being communicative, etc. Those are individuals I've dealt with; I use them as examples to make the point that we all have our faults and often can't, don't, or won't recognize our own failings but blame problems on something or someone else. I see those men who complain about nice guys finishing last as men with failings they refuse to recognize or deal with and just want to blame them on someone else....women in general. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 9/6/2008 1:39:13 AM | CORRECTION:
There are many reasons why a woman is not attracted to a man or why a relationship doesn't work, being a 'nice guy' per se is one of them.
There are many reasons why a woman is not attracted to a man or why a relationship doesn't work, being a 'nice guy' per se is NOT one of them. | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 9/9/2008 11:41:56 AM | TRUE THAT!!!! i dont even have to read ur full msg and i already agree with you as well as all the other nice guys in the room. cuz i also finish last. but it is more like im very dead last i have no luck with women what so ever and when i try. im always involved in their lil games, then used, then feeling worse than before the relationship. its B.S. girls want that nice guy, stay with that horible guy. it sux though we suffer they suffer n the bad guy wins   | |
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| why do nice guys finish last
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:04:49 PM | | I suspect its only in pity posts that "nice guys" finish "last." I doubt that a "nice guy" who finished first would still be here. The remainder of the "nice guys" are either still in the race or have given up and feel sorry for themselves. Most people choose where they finish. It isn't a matter of only one guy finishing first. I haven't finished last just because I haven't arrived where I want to be yet. Life after all is a journy. | |
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