| | How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Well... truth be known.. Had a date with a pure 10........ For age 56.... she was a 10! We had much in common... background.... education... grandparents new each other and were neighbors... Great dinner... walked her to car... politely.... asked her if OK I call again... She gave me half kiss on neck (acceptable) turned to get in her car and answered me................. I couldn't understand what she said! I'm 60.... bad hearing...... anyways.... sent flowers - next day - still am clueless.... Frankly, I'd take her to dinner every once in a while just to sit across table to look at her... Any case, I don't want to pressure her.... too old for these games.. Suggestions?..... Thanks in advance.... :-)  | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/20/2006 6:59:54 PM | See this so often in the forums...overthinking! An honest response, kind perferred but even unkind appreciated....if there's no interest, better to KNOW.
There's WAY too much overthinking, handwringing, and angst over wanting to know WHY. Why isn't someone attracted to me, why don't they feel chemistry...AKK...oh please. The reason doesn't matter, and often it'd be better off not to know.
It's a moot point, if it ain't there it ain't and those with even a shred of self confidence don't take it personally. Geez, noone is the ideal person for EVERYONE.  | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/20/2006 7:20:37 PM | Truth be told most women don't have the honesty that they profess. Many simply don't respond to further contact, it would be better to just be honest.
True some take the being friends the wrong way, but then others throw it around like confetti and have no intention of being friends. Its a way to get rid of someone without feeling any attachment.
I prefer the honest approach but find that it doesn't happen. | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 3:27:22 AM |
Are all men able to tell a women that he is not attracted to her, or he is not interested with such ease?
No, however I personally have no problem doing it. As far as you go -- don't do the "Let's be friends." -- Let's face it, that's a lie. Tell them, I'm not interested, take care. | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:58:41 AM |  I think it is a judgement call, some guys you can can just wait for them to call, if they don't well, takes care of that, if he is insisting you are the love of his life the most perfect woman he has ever met, you may have a problem. It is never easy to reject people and giving a reason is more difficult, as we are trying to distance ourselves from them not enter into some unending discussion, if you have to do it keep it simple, as far as to being friends after, that will depend on behaviour, and sometimes an accidental meeting under different circumstances without the pressure of having to make a love life decision, can let you see other sides of personality. Friendships develop, because we enjoy being in the company of someone, not as a contract to end a relationship. | |
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LisaD1
| | Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:11:36 AM | | Just tell the man that you think he is a very nice person but you didn't find any chemistry with him and you'll be looking elsewhere for romantic interests. How hard is that? It's the immaturity of not knowing how to tell them that leads men to believe we all play games! | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:21:47 AM | | When dating I simply told the man that I didn't feel a connection, usually because of a lack of common interests. I never said I wanted to be friends because I did not want him to think there would would be a chance for another meeting/date. | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:24:16 AM | | I think maybe it is the difference between the male and the female brain. We tend to think we are going to hurt them and don't want to do that because those words tend to hurt us. They, on the other hand, seem to think that it is easy to do and the best way to tell them, because it DOESN'T hurt them. | |
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fyi_me
| | Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 9:49:55 AM | | I usually say, you're a great guy, but I don't think we would be compatible. Something along those lines, men don't like being taken for a ride or played with. It's often best to be straight forward with them. I'm a woman and it works...men go with the straight linear thinking. (I try to get rid of my "nice" female gene, unfortunately it's still there). | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 5:15:03 PM | | The usual line I get is that I am s great guy, however I am _____________ insert line here. Either too far away, actually serious about not wanting any more kids, or they are not really sure whether they are ready for dating and should pull theri profile off sometime soon. What they all mean is I am too fat for them, or I said something stupid and innappropriate. I just wish they could be honest, I always am. Damn the consequences! unless they are likely to be truly hurt by what I have to say. I am not out to hurt anyone. But as for me, I have broad shoulders and am an adult. Give it to me straight. | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 6:15:05 PM | Well honesty is the best policy (where have I heard that before), but if you really want to make sure he gets the message that you aren't interested at all ,simply use the old standby:
"Let's be friends."
Have fun ;) | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/21/2006 8:14:36 PM | Recently I meet the most wonderful woman I've ever run across. Beautiful, down to earth, attractive, and a sweet personality to boot. Two dates and I knew exactly what kind of a gem she was.
The bad news was that she had to tell me straight up that she was not attracted to me, but that she did think I was a great guy and had a lot of qualities she admired.
Ahh... it was most unfortuneate, but by her being 100% honest, and me accepting her feelings without trying to change them, we have been able to maintain contact in a positive and supportive way - the beginings of a friendship that I will be proud of.
The key is to always be honest with how you feel, not cruel, but honest. Then the other person has to accept that, without tryinging to change it. If you get that, you get the best it can be. Often times the 'best' is both people move on, but in rare cases, this is the start of good friends who respect each other.
Again, just my thoughts on the topic. | |
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| How to tell a man that you are not interested after meeting.
Posted: 9/22/2006 12:19:11 AM | I guess girls have it worse in this department classicly speaking. Seeing as it's usually expected for the man to make the move if I'm not interested I just be her friend and have a good time.
Maybe girls on the first date just tell him you're not the type to jump into anythinig and that you want to hang out first a bit just to see what it's like to be in each other's space.
Then if you're lucky and he has a clue the issue won't even come up at all, just make sure not to lead him on if you can TELL he has a crush on you put him in his place so that he can go be romantic elsewhere. | |
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tishie
| | Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 71 | |
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