| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/1/2006 7:47:45 PM | Can you people not read?
I said many old men end up with young trophy wives because the young women pursue and marry an old guy with money.
Someone took that statement and said that I said it meant women were desperate.
How does looking for a meal ticket equate to desperate?
The original remark took me to task saying that I had said that ALL WOMEN are like that. And I never said anything close to that. I said "it happens".
How does "golddigger" become "desperate"?
The concept that a woman in a bad way financially looks for a man to solve that problem holds true, and the situation happens in the other direction too. Guys with nothing look for a sugar mama.
And this is now getting to the point of being a stupid conversation.
STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPENS A LOT but it doesn't make an absolute condition. (That means "it doesn't mean everybody does it".)
Geeze, read my words, not what you think I meant. I state things very clearly. | |
|
RBM
|
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 252 | |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/1/2006 8:25:11 PM | Time for a scary story...
My ex mother-in-law has been married and divorced ten times!! She is a true California gold digger. She knows the alimony/joint property laws there and has used them to her advantage and made quite a tidy sum.
She even married one guy twice. The first time he made her sign a pre-nup. She got him hooked in... then dumped him. The poor guy nearly killed himself over it, then caved when she agreed to remarry him without the pre-nup. Yeah, that lasted about 6 months, then she cleaned his clock but good. Got about $200,000 from that one.
Another guy was so despondent over her that he literally killed himself. Damn nice guy too. Fisherman. I still have one of the antique lures he gave me. A crying shame.
Yeah, Eddie, it happens. On both sides of the fence, I reckon.
Sad, really. | |
|
SONG__
|
Joined: 1/5/2005
Msg: 253 | |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/1/2006 8:30:58 PM | Wow! I thought things like that happened only on Jerry Springer....LOL
Yeah the pickings are slimmer when you hit our age........its just that simple...... | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:11:37 PM | Consider yourself lucky, as the norm these days is 6 single women for 1 single male, so statistically you are doing the norm....maybe try another site if you are disappointed with the one you are in...not every single person hangs out in the same place...and don't read more into some things than what they are...analyzing the heck out of stuff will just leave you even more bitter....
Everyone has restrictions, wants, desires, and what they feel would be the perfect match for them. Doen's matter if you're male or female, and meeting people is just meeting new people, so lower your expectations and just enjoy dating. You may be pleasantly surprised one day.
Good luck. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/1/2006 11:15:06 PM | I have no restrictions on my porfile but I have a child, smoke cigars, ride motorcycles, play in a band, work fulltime, drink beer, and most of the women I want to contact have age restrictions. Oh well I still fish and go to pof parties in my area. Sometimes when they see you in person their restictions are expanded. happy fishing rocker
To orchid58 is this a west coast thing  | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 5:10:58 AM |
the norm these days is 6 single women for 1 single male
Well, Norm owes 5 single women then..... 
Where did that stat come from? I would love to read the whole article.
Now, I suppose that is where the "particulars" come in. Sure I know a lot of single women, but most of them are single for a reason.
What I am finding difficult in my mid 50s is meeting a woman who isn't so jaded by past relationships that she will give a man a chance. I would assume men can be the same way but I don't go out looking for single men so I don't know. (In fact, I don't actually go OUT looking for single women either. Possibly why I rarely date, but only one reason, I'm sure.)
I believe the poster of that stat is Canadian. I wonder if that came from a survey up there or if it's a general statement?
When you factor in all the reasons to NOT marry (tax issues, freedom to leave, etc...) it might not be too far off target. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 5:47:19 AM | Hey Eddie...not looking to make an issue but I think you put it out there and if it's been misinterpeted maybe you might want to be a little less... well kinder in your wording
Your msg #216
"All I am saying is that when a woman says "long term relationship" she is
1. Delusional if she thinks she is going to find it on POF
2. Seeming to want to skip the "how cool that we both like Chinese food" step.
3. Looking to rush into something"
Msg # 237
"You may be taking that too literally. A lot of men see "long term" and tjomk "This is a desperate woman who wants to marry ANYBODY just to get someone with health insurance for my 5 children" or something in that vein"
These are your words Eddie and I would think you were saying because we have long term on our profile, you thought it meant desperate....
Now does it mean the same for men who have long term in there profile....
When I say LTR I am meaning someone who wants to take the time to get to know me [and me to get to know them]....find out if we have the same interests....are we compatable.
I don't think a lot of the woman here are looking for his money, house or his health insurance....they are just looking for that special person | |
|
| |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:11:46 AM | Okay hlady, fair enough, but read what I said one more time.
"A LOT OF MEN THINK....." I didn't say every man.
Also note that when you said:
When I say LTR I am meaning someone who wants to take the time to get to know me [and me to get to know them]....find out if we have the same interests....are we compatible.
Are you not also saying you want to be friends first, maybe date a while, possibly have an intimate encounter along the way... all of the "what are you looking for" criteria that get passed over when you choose "long term relationship"?
Most people want a long term relationship ultimately. Very few want it TODAY. And my original point was that when I see "LTR", I think "husband hunter". I don't want to be a husband again, but that's just me.
Just look at the forums and see how literally people take things. I'd bet you a dozen wings that there are many men here who are scared off by LTR because it implies that unless they want to rush into a marriage (followed in 2-ish years by a divorce because they didn't know each other well enough before they got married) they will be passed over.
And define "long term" for me. Is that a year? 5 years? 10? Until I die? "Long term" is relative. I am of the personality type that gets roaming fever after 6-8 years of anything. I change career fields a lot, and note that I didn't say I change jobs, I said career fields, because once I get good at something I get bored with it.
Salesman. Pretty good at it. Did it 5 years. Got bored and quit.
Mailman. No quality level there. It's a mindless, boring job. Did it 8 years. Got bored and quit.
Full time musician. Did it 9 years full time. 22 in total including part time while working a day job. Playing since age 5. Got tired of the travel and quit in 1994.
IT contractor. Earned many certs. Worked job after job. Tired of working for the man. Started my own business.
Now I want to hone my woodworking skills to get to a point where I can design and build custom furniture. I am about a year away and I can put IT away and enjoy computers again rather than relying on them for my income.
And after 6-8 years of that I'll be in my 60s and probably nearing death given the health I am in, so that pretty much completes my dance card.
I don't like roots, I don't like anchors. I want to be free to do what I want, when I want and where I want. Know anybody else who moved 1100 miles from Ohio to Florida, stayed 10 minutes, decided it was too hot and came back to Ohio? I did that. I would like to move to northwest NC and live near the mountains. If I can find work I will do that.
And that kind of free spirited mindset keeps me single as well. A lot of people want the house and the boat and all that. That is a product of our society brainwashing us to equate success and happiness to material things. I am happiest when I am going where the wind takes me, driving around in the jeep with my dog sitting next to me. That's not for everybody.
The point of all that? Everybody is different. My preferred lifestyle can't and shouldn't be applied to anybody else but me. Thus my interpretation of things is different than yours. And that includes what "LTR" means. Given the divorce rate (67%) these days, the standard of judging what LTR means has changed radically.
You said in an earlier post that you were married to a man for 34 years and he (sadly) passed away. In one way I envy that, but in another way I can't imagine being with the same woman for 34 years. Women start to get on my nerves by the 3rd or 4th date, much less 34 years. My parents married (yes, they were married ) in 1945 and were married until my dad died in 1991. And in 1995, I threw a 50th anniversary party for my mother. It was still her 50th anniversary even though her husband was gone. My mother died in 2001, wearing her wedding ring all the way into the casket. Yet to this day, I don't know how they stayed together that long without exchanging gunfire.
It works for some people. Just not me. So no LTR. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:58:32 AM | | So basically what you want is a friends with benefits sort of thing. Honestly I don't know too many ladies that want to do the booty call thing, young or older. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 8:31:59 AM | Well Eddie you make very valid points from your prospective....
Yes, I want to be friends first, as for the LTR you won't know if it will be long term if you don't meet and find out...
intimate encounters could lead to a LTR....and how to define LTR is more than a 1nt stand...there is no way to know how long you may or may not stay with someone...I am not looking for a husband just someone to share life's experiences with for how ever long it should last....I like my freedom also...but it also can be lonely not having anyone to share things with...
So we now know what you are looking for and how easily bored you get...just let others determine what is for them and if it's LTR or intimate encounters...that is what they are looking for..
As far as moving 1100 miles...I moved to IL right after my husband passed all by myself....packed the car and off I went...a new adventure...lived there for a yr...kids weren't happy but I had to do it for me...I came back home cause I missed my friends and family but would do it again in a heart beat....but it was my choice
You appear to lead a very interesting life and as a cancer myself I certainly can relate to some of what you say...but I am a home body and enjoy the company of family and good friends and I like having roots...
KUDOS to you for thinking of your Mom...that is a good son | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 8:32:15 AM |
I don't know too many ladies that want to do the booty call thing, young or older.
I know several.
Basically what I want is a woman who can stimulate me intellectually, not play the airhead game because society continues to sell that image (every actually try to listen to Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson TALK?) to our young girls, doesn'tthink I am raw clay who she will then mold into her perception of the perfect man, and doesn't want to cage me like some animal at the zoo.
Until the last year or so, I didn't think that was a lot to ask.
Why does the "benefits" part have to mean marriage? Have I been asleep for a really long time? What year is this? The computer says it's 2006. The baby boomer years are over and so is the thinking that went with them.
I can't imagine why anybody even wants to get married any more. To fulfill some societal decreed plastic morality model where people don't have sex without a piece of paper from the county that you live saying you are permitted to? Give me a break.
Just in my lifetime I have seen the social mores change from a place where sex on the first date was unheard of as was living together without being married. I remember a time when a couple could not rent an apartment if they were not married, much less get a loan to buy a home. Now 2 gay men can do all of that if they just "declare" that they are a couple (Unlike Canada, same sex marriage is still illegal in most states in the US). How big of a change is that in one generation?
So, "friends with benefits"? I don't really even care about the "benefits" that much any more. I care more about having a nice person in my life that doesn't want to control every situation (My last wife once actually tried to tell me what to WEAR! Take a guess how that worked out for her?) and dictate how I am supposed to act to live up to her standards. I care more that becoming a couple doesn't mean that each individual dies to become half of the couple. One tree shouldn't kill the other to survive.
So tell me why wanting that out of life is wrong? | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 9:09:09 AM | | i am new to being single again but "sooall "i am surley in trouble then because I have the bike now and i was on a 1st date a little while agoe and i felt like climbing down her top after we met and had a couple of drinks ,she just felt so confertable to be with ,seeing her again and haveing sex was all i could think about after getting out of the cab and what a cab ride I tell you.I was like a boy in high school ,totaly driven by the heat of the moment.hand down her top and all ,other dates were the opposite ,i felt nothing except that i felt like i had to be polite and just be a gentalman ,I couldnt wait to get out of there,if some men are makeing moves on you stop ****ing ,I will never understand some of you girls.1st date 10th date ?never could understand how that worked ?I will say one thing ,at my age why hold back if there is something there and you feel like the chemistry is right go for it ,life is to short to play games,you might miss the boat.i still like to think there is a soul mate out there for us all,yours might not have much of a sex drive i guess?take that back ,he will and so will you ,when he comes along you might even make the first move . | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 9:24:50 AM | ,I will never understand some of you girls.1st date 10th date ?never could understand how that worked ?I will say one thing ,at my age why hold back if there is something there and you feel like the chemistry is right go for it ,life is to short to play games,you might miss the boat.
Well here is MY take on that and I only speak for myself. I don't care how much chemistry I feel on the first date, I don't know you well enough to share something that is sacred to me and that is my body. Plus, when I do make love with a man, I want to give him all of me, as well as give him as much pleasure as I can. There is no way in hell I'm putting my lips, my tongue my hands etc.... on someone that I don't know a darn thing about.
I guess some people can do that because they aren't really looking to establish any type of connection, they just want to get laid. What ever works for you, but don't be so shocked when you find someone that doesn't think the way you do.
Now as for Eastside. I still believe in marriage and it isn't about control or trying to get someone to do what I feel is best. I look for a partner to share something special with me and me only. I like being a wife, I loved caring for my husband and my family. There is no shame in that. But like I said above, do what works for you, but don't criticize others that might feel different. | |
|
| |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 11:07:02 AM | This comment is directed to no one would has already commented on Slimmer Pickin's.
I am reading "Golddiggers" and other such words. I am a widow. What if my outlook was - Slimm pickin's for me because I can't get involved because they are all going to die.
Certainly we need to be selective with who we get involved with. We all have our list of things that are deal breakers for us. I don't think that assuming anything because we have had various problems in the past should enter into who we choose to chat with in datingland.
One of my deal breakers is facial hair, and a very large % of men in my area wear facial hair. How's that for creating my own Slimmer pickin's. Please don't jump on me for this. I do have a logical reason for it. However, that would be too much info to put in this forum. | |
|
Tansi
|
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 267 | |
| |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:13:38 PM | I hadn't planned to post to this thread again, but something Eddie wrote (and yes I've pulled it out of context, but it can stand alone)
I care more that becoming a couple doesn't mean that each individual dies to become half of the couple. That sounds horrid. Who would want to give up their identity? Sounds like the witness protection program. Actually it would be worse, one would have to give up one's unique personality. I'm sorry for anyone who gets in this type of relationship. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/3/2006 2:29:54 PM | To orchid58 is this a west coast thing
I think that it is..can't rem where I read or heard this but of course it always depends who is doing the stats?
In my humble that the numbers may not be exact; if one broke it down, into cultures, religious beliefs, etc...you may only find one out of 1,000 that may have something in common with you. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 10:22:44 AM | StillSteamin: why no picture? I wanted to check you out. (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Im going thru the same thing. My age is not one that is a favorite among men. After all, who wants to date someone intelligent after sex? ha ha.
and eddie:
anyone that reads my profile would say, Im not a desperate woman...darlin'
MEN!! I want to see a vote. A show of hands, please.
How many men think wanting a LTR means a woman is deperate? | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 11:10:26 AM | | And let have a vote from the women - How many women think the man is desperate when he lists LTR? I know that I wait until I have had messages with the man, to see how long he has been single, plus other questions before I start using my good judgement on anything. | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 11:36:03 AM | I thought this thread died about six pages back. I guess not!
Okay, it's a well known fact that when a relationship ends for whatever reason: "women mourn, men replace".
Tink, Calgary | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 11:44:29 AM | Tinker Bell. Im confused. I agree with what you say. But, just being curious.... What does that mean opposed to what the topic is?
and I think the only time a man is desperate, might be for a good home cooked meal and someone to do his laundry.
p.s. I thought the odds were six women to one man? | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 12:01:07 PM | It has nothing to do with this thread in particular. I'm just making a pont that the majority of men looking for LTR are really looking to replace almost immediately what they once had without passing through the mourning stage.
Tink | |
|
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 5/7/2006 12:12:12 PM | OOOOOooooooooh I totally agree, Tink.
A man has GOT to go thru mourning or it becomes the next womans baggage. Thats why I wont date a separated man. He hasnt gone thru that process. Several of the men I have dated, skip the mourning process, not realizing they might be skipping a very important part of life, to be able continue on with another love and make it a healthy relationship.
We could start up a new thread topic with that one. (wink) | |
|
Home
login 
Finally........
