| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:47:54 AM | Symantec.....
My experience has been that there are plenty of suitable ladies out there, just they all come with so much 'baggage' - kids, grandkids, ex's etc etc. Hard to see the wood for the trees. roflmao....if you think women have baggage....you should see the men!....they are worse! Just because women have "kid baggage" doesn't mean they are any less compatible for reasonable men....after all, kid baggage wasn't created by women alone! | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:56:53 AM | To symantec surgical tech: How dare you call children and grandchildren baggage. If you have not experienced the joys and tragedy of parenthood, you speak from an ignorant mouth.
I want to wash your mouth out with some soap, bad boy. Its a good thing that you don't have any children, they would get in the way. Its all about you symantex. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 12:02:53 PM | Dahliakitten
I want to wash your mouth out with some soap, bad boy
ROFLMAO....isn't that done by someone with "kid baggage"????? | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 12:08:53 PM | Kids ARE baggage to someone who has no interest in having them.
Dahlia, if you prefer to have kids and grandkids anchoring you to your home, that is your option and bless you for it. Chances are you would have no life at all without that. I don't know. Personally I prefer not to be with a woman who defines herself by her children, thus I avoid those situations. Women who allow their 30 year old daughters to move back home and bring 4 kids by 3 (possibly undetermined) fathers in with them... no thanks. Kids should have been taught about responsibility the first time through.
I prefer not to have to plan my life around children's birthday parties, psychotic ex husbands who don't show up to pick up their kids for visits, and seeing badly behaved children tear up a house and have no opportunity to discipline them. That is my choice, and I make it clear which way I lean.
THAT is why some men see kids as baggage, and you are out of line using words like "how dare you" because you disagree. When your kids leave home, it's supposed to be your time. Parents are supposed to raise their own kids. You raised yours, now let yours raise theirs. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 12:17:24 PM | "Kids ARE baggage to someone who has no interest in having them."
Why do people with kids freak out on people who don't want to be involved in the kiddie lifestyle? I don't get it. Enjoy your kids with my blessing, but don't get upset with me because I decide not to join you in your lifestyle. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 12:22:31 PM | Moraima, you go girl!!
Some people just choose to force their life preferences on everyone I guess. I have 2 boys, 30 and 28. Between them there are 3 grandkids. They don't live with me. They WON'T live with me. They have their lives with their own family and that's the way I think it should be.
Now if we can just figure out a way to stop 15 year old girls from having kids they can't afford there wouldn't be as many grandparents in their late 60s saddled with raising babies. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 12:26:40 PM | Were they one of the services padding the rolls with fake profiles?
I'm still laughing about eHarmony. With all of those sappy commercials featuring their current members, also future contestants on Divorce Court, they make it sound SO cool.
And then they tell me "Sorry. YOU aren't the type of person we want here. We don't think we can help you...."  | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 1:19:40 PM | Answer to the thread "yes"
Factors that create such a disadvanctage are: Children, divorced or widowed (some people bring baggage or issues that are not 'healed'), age. personal fetishes' hair or no hair, weight. toke or not, drugs or not, handicapped or not, illiterate or not, education, too many to list.
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Tansi
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 3:09:29 PM | Slimmer pickins? Not my experience. You have all these people to make friends with that you didn't have access to when you were younger.
I think there may be slimmer pickins for the ones in their late thirties and early forties where most are still making that last ditch effort in their marriages. By the time they are up into their fifties they are unfortunately split or widowed from their spouses and out there "looking".
Baggage? At my age (56) I have no baggage at all. My son is grown with his own family. I have no debts. I have my head on straight (It's full of chipped styrofoam but it's on straight) and as for my past ...I consider that history and well learned lessons. It adds colour to who I am. "No regrets.....no baggage".
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 3:11:26 PM |
Nobody writes to my crabby ass.....
Well, I did, based more on how much I enjoyed your blog than anything else, and you never responded. I know I don't meet your criteria (I smoke, live several states away, am older than you're looking for, and am not looking for a long term relationship), but still.....A simple "thanks for enjoying my sense of humour" would have been courteous.
Meanwhile, unless you've done so today, it's been a week since you updated your blog, and baseball season is moving right along.
Waiting for the next episode. I don't really care if you're rude and crabby as I have no intention of ever meeting you in person, but I enjoy what you write. I don't begin to agree with it all---or even a lot of it, but it makes me smile. And I think that somewhere inside your crusty exterior lies a decent heart, as evidenced by your relationship with your dog.
Kay, wishing this bloody site had a spell check | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 3:35:13 PM | Hello to everyone but to you eastsideeddie. I looked at your profile and you are a nice looking man, but reading your profile I think the reason you may not be expierencing the dating that you would like is you may have scared off any prospective female. Grant you alot of woman put restrictions on there profiles to elemante the same things that you are just expressing. I for one have met a few nice men we just didn't click for whatever the reason may have been and I encountered some real disgusting men.
I am also a cancer and I am very surprised of your lack of sense of family, you say you have 2 boys yet don't refer to them as your sons (how strange) I certainly agree that we should teach our children to stand up and be responsible adults and to let them make there own lives.
I have 2 kids a son 32 who is married with 2 beautiful children of his own now a son 20mos and a new 1mo old daughter whom by the way I adore . And I have an unmarried 30 yr old daughter who lives on her own with no children (but she does have a dog who I call my granddog  ). I value the time I spend with my kids and I certainly respect anyone who is not into the whole kid sceen, but how can you not want to be involved with your own kids or grandkids. I can't even imagine thinking of my family as baggage.
I was married 34 yrs when my husband passed away and never thought I would be in a situation to be looking for a partner or male companion but here I am. You refer to some of the woman who have contacted you with photos as being to large to sit on a chair, well they may have thought since you have a few extra pounds you might have been interested. I am a BBW have been all my life..I take care of myself I work in a profession where you have to dress professional. I am a large person not thru choice but due to a medical condition that was not caught early enough. I am healthy no major illness that will cause me to die any time soon not to say it couldn't happen. Oh by the way I smoke on a daily bases would not disclude a non-smoker from my dating profile. I would respect his feeling and not smoke in his presence, but I won't date a drunk or someone who feels the need to drink on an everyday bases.
I don't want you to think I am getting on your case but I think you need to take a good look at why you feel the need to place such high standards for your prospective female partner when you may not be such a catch yourself.
Look for a friend and except them for who they are not who you want them to be. As I look back on my relationship with my husband I now wish I could go back and smell the roses instead of getting pissed because he did something stupid. Life is short live it for all it has to offer and maybe you will find that girl your looking for and she might be next door or across the country but you won't know unless you take the time to find out
Oh I like these little people things they are just so kwel
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Tansi
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 3:49:27 PM | | To the lady up there ^. Eddie is actually a very sweet guy in spite of how he may appear to some. I have taken the time to talk to him and find him quite engaging and very sensitive. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:03:46 PM | Not sure if you are refering to my post. ... Believe me in now way am I suggesting that he is not a nice man. ... I am just stating that when you make reference to kids and grandkids as baggage or to a person build or there likes and dislikes you yourself can elminate some very prospective partners.
I just think you need to talk with someone get to know them... | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:04:37 PM | To message 29 eastsideeddie--I do define my life as a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and woman first and foremost. My selection on men is not narrow. I am just picky at my older age. When I was a teenager before I got married I needed something in my life to anchor me. I was 20 years old when I met and married my husband and we both wanted a child. I had two. So he has passed 9 years. I have dated since. Twice to men without children. Boy, were they self centered. After three years I stopped seeing HIM. I wasted two extra years on that one. We stopped seeing each other cuz he wanted no serious commitment. I did after 3 years. He had the nerve to call me a year later. I pretended to be a wrong number when he called. By the way, he was jelous that I was attending paralegal school and that I wanted to go onto law school. He was also trying to get me to not attend my classes. So I encourage him to go back to UCLA. He did. I don't know if he got a degree in business. Don't want to know. Don't care.
Men and women who call children and grandchildren baggage, of possible dating partners will be limiting their dating pool. Just as well for those precious kids who would benefit from a strong male role model. Or a positive woman role model as well. Yes, not from you and those that hate that "extra kids baggage".
So, I still want to attend night law school sometime soon. Never too late to further our education. Better late than never... | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:11:02 PM | eastsideeddie - "Were they one of the services padding the rolls with fake profiles?"
I don't know about that but they were actually having men on their staff e-mail ladies & take them out on dates.
By the way eddie - tell me how you get that box to work when you want to quote someone  | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:38:44 PM | Kay, I don't recall hearing from you. I would have sent at least "Thanks for reading". If I missed your email, please accept this as my apology.
Now, hlady, what would your suggestion be, that I present myself in a way that is not the real me? Shall I pretend that I enjoy the company of someone who can't make change for a dollar without a calculator? Or should I look to date women who expect me to sit and listen to them whine about how much of a rat their ex-husband was? (P.S. I don’t care.) I place high standards on women I would date because I place high standards on myself. I am 100% honest in what I say and what I do, and it shows a lack of respect to load up a profile with things they want to hear just to get them to meet you. I avoid smoke in EVERY situation and would rather not go out than breathe what I think is the most disgusting odor there is. You say you would not smoke in the non-smoker’s presence, but that doesn't get the smell out of your hair or your clothes. I don't permit smoking in my YARD, much less in my house. (I'm not going to walk around picking up those disgusting butts.) That is my preference, and you, of course, are free to do what you like. My standards do include physical appearance but it is not at the top of the list, or even near it.
If women are scared off by my desire that they be able to write a decent paragraph, why is that my problem? I find that the command of the language native to the country that you were raised in shows basic intelligence, and I will take intelligence over any other trait every day. It is my choice to not date someone who doesn’t understand how Velcro works or actually needs to read the directions on the shampoo bottle. If you really need to be told to lather, rinse and repeat...
Many people here have this incessant need to find a partner (ANY partner) to complete them. You can see it in their desperate attempts to connect with just anybody. I believe in the theory that you can't put any 2 random people together and call them a couple. If I know going in that there is something that I absolutely require missing, why should I bother? I never said I was a catch. I never intimated that women are anything by not knowing me. I am nowhere near that conceited to say anything of that sort. However, I know what I like and dislike, and women are free to steer clear of me if they choose to. I don’t feel the need to be “completed”. I am complete right now.
As far as the boys go, my school of thought on that subject is that they are fully grown, live far away, don't visit me (early divorce and years of negative conditioning by their mother - though she was happy to cash my check every week) and they are at the point where they are estranged to a degree where I don't feel it necessary to include them in my profile. You may make your own value judgment about that, and I know you will. It is the way I feel, and nobody will change that.
I take pride in my education. I worked extremely hard to put myself through college twice. I have a BA in Music (with a double major) and an Associate Degree in Computer Studies. The first time I had the GI Bill helping me some. The second time I paid for it myself. Reading anything with glaring errors like the incorrect use of to, too and two makes me cringe the way a dentist would view rotten, dirty teeth, or a hair stylist would view dirty, messy hair. You apparently see that as a flaw in my character. You have that right. Keep in mind that I have been a writer for some time. Proper use of the English language matters to me. Note that I said “to me”. You are welcome to put “except” where “accept” belongs (as you did). Pompous? Perhaps. I prefer the word “precise”.
As far as your advice that I “Look for a friend”, I have four people that I consider to be true friends. Those four people earned their way into my circle, and I would jump on the proverbial grenade for any of them. Everyone else is an acquaintance. People need to earn my trust and respect, and once you have done so, you have it forever. I am extremely ethical in my day to day life, and avoid those who are not. I had a friend many years ago ask me to go to court and lie for him. I have not spoken to him since. I had another friend who asked that I cover for him when he cheated on his girlfriend (now wife). I have not spoken to him since. I am a black-and-white person, and you get one chance.
I mentioned the GI Bill. I am a Viet Nam vet with a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. I was proud to do my duty and I make no excuses for my service. I spent 18 months in a place that was closer to hell than I ever wanted to be, and take offense to those who pontificate on the evils of war with no basis in fact. If you have not been in a war, you can not intelligently discuss it. The same applies to a man speaking of childbirth. Obviously we can not know what that experience is like.
I am an outstanding cook. I play three instruments. I design and build custom furniture. My business is computer repair, and I am a whiz at it. I do charity work and fund-raising for the rescue where I got my dog. I am a well rounded person with high standards, and I have yet to see why that is a problem.
That is me in a nutshell, 100% honest, and that’s the package, take it or leave it. I don’t settle. I don’t lower my standards. If I met someone tomorrow, the perspective would be that I lived almost 55 years without her and if she doesn’t like me I am nowhere that I wasn’t yesterday. If I live alone for the rest of my life, I will gladly do so rather than settle. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:42:24 PM | When you go to the message entry screen, look to the right above the icons. It teslls you how right there.
It's left bracket, the word quote, right bracket.
Your quoted text.
Left bracket, the word /quote, right bracket. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 4:58:44 PM | I don't think you folks understand why the term "baggage" can be appropriate when dealing with other people's kids.
Tomorrow, my best buddy and I might just pick up and drive to Detroit to see the Indians play the Tigers. If either of us had kids or grandkids living with us, we could not even think about doing that. I am almost 55. I deserve the opportunity to enjoy my old age.
I dated a woman with kids for almost a year. Their father was among the bigger jerks you will ever meet. I can't count on both hands, feet, and anything else that protrudes, the number of times he stood the kids up on his visitation weekends and I had to deal with the crying and explaining why this guy wasn't a rat, that something must have come up. 5 times we had made plans based on the kids being with their father for the weekend and he stood them up. We lost money on non-refundable tickets, room reservations, and once a flight to New York where we going to be nuts and fly there, have pizza at Famous Ray's and fly right back.
In some situations, kids are in the way, and that situation, baggage is the right word. I ended up in the middle of court fights over child support, being subpoened to testify in a domestic violence case, and was arrested myself after I beat the snot out of the ***hole in the court room when he said something to me I didn't like. I like to be able to pick up and go. If you choose to sit home with little kids coloring pictures, god bless you and enjoy your life. It works for you. That's a good thing.
Baggage.
"Hey, let's go to the Cavs game tonight!"
"I can't. I have to go to parent teacher's night with someone elses 2 kids."
Baggage.
If I have a choice, I prefer women with no kids that anchor me to the house. THAT is what I meant. I am the type of person that IF I chose to get into an instant family situation, I WILL miss the game to go to PTA night or to watch the 3rd grade pageant. I don't like those types of events, so I won't take on a ready made family.
And once again, my honesty makes me the villian. Amazing. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:20:26 PM | eastsideedie ..First let me say that where your sons are concerned that is your choice as to how you handle your relationship with them. I don't know your situation to say who's fault it is or is not why you had not been in there lives. I guess just reading you call kids and grandkids baggage upset me. Having come from a disfunctional family myself those words cut like a knife since my own mother felt her children were baggae she did not want to carry around. So being a mother myself could not imagine my kids anything more than lifes joy.
I commend you for your honesty and forth right personality. I mean no disrespect to you or your opinions. I will agree I may not be able to spell or write like a journelist...I do find you to be a very interesting person and relate to what you say as I too have a very close circle of friends and only let a few choice people into my circle also. I was only refering to the fact that when we expect too much from people we tend to be disappointed.
In no way should you lower your standard for a prospective partner...just don't be so critical to other peoples feelings...words can be more hurtful than any sharp object..even if your only reading them.
As for my smoking everyone who knows me or men who have met me that do not smoke have commented on that fact that I do not smell like smoke. I have a very sensitive nose and do not like the smell of any foul odors and though this may be hard for you to believe I make every effort for my home or myself to not have a smoking smell. Again it is your choice who you chose to have around you. And anyone who is in your company should respect your home and surroundings.
No, I would not expect you to place information in your profile just to make an impression on any prospective partner nor did I want to suggest that you would not be anyone without a partner.
I do not feel that I need a man in my life to make me whole. As I said I was married 34 yrs before my husband passed and I was a very seperate independent individual. I had my interests in and outside the home. I worked a full time job every day of my marriage I was not supported financially by my husband in any way. In fact I made the greater of the income.
No, I can't imagine what Viet Nam may have been like as I was not there. I can tell you that my childhood friends husband was there along with my brother and my niece's husband. But I do have a knowledge of how it effected there lives.
I commend you on your successful life and interests...self made man. That is GREAT
Please I was not trying to attack you just meerly making an observation. You seem like once you become a friend you will be true blue. Just don't call kids and grandkids baggage  | |
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Tansi
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 48 | |
| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:22:03 PM |
If I met someone tomorrow, the perspective would be that I lived almost 55 years without her and if she doesn’t like me I am nowhere that I wasn’t yesterday. If I live alone for the rest of my life, I will gladly do so rather than settle. Testing one two
Exactly the way I look at it. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:29:11 PM | | Holy doodle!!!! Who would have thought that this thread would twist and turn as it has! There is some very good writing and thought processes at work here. It's very interesting. | |
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| Slimmer pickin's when you get older?
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:33:47 PM |
If I missed your email, please accept this as my apology.
Apology accepted. It's not important enough for me to go back and track it down; it had something to do with my having trouble with folks whose posts display a flagrant disregard for the Queen's English and how ugly and annoying the smilies on this board are. I've seldom seen a more unattractive group of them.
Iv'e picked up on the fact that you are 100% honest. That's as it should be, but it definitely limits the number of women who are going to respond. I'm not going to respond to anyone over 45 (or under 45, probably) who can't express him/her/self without some stuipid icon jumping around. As Country Joe said, "we all have our limits."
As you were,
Kay | |
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