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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/9/2007 1:47:17 PM | I was surprised no one mentioned Harvey Mansfield's book "Manliness", which came out about the time this tread started and has been the subject of some discussion. Anybody else read it?
P.S. there's a video of him giving a commencement address which is easy to find at cspan.org if you want to get a flavor of what he's about. | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 53 | |
| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/10/2007 8:13:05 AM | I tend to measure men against my brother who is the most honorable human being I know.
I don't really expect anyone to live up to an ideal, it ain't possible and just sets yourself up for disappointment. Nor do i want to be held to an impossible standard.
Defining "man" is as hard as defining "woman."
If he can wrap me up in his arms at the end of the day and we both feel good about it, then he's man enough for me. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:13:46 AM |
I want to know about you. As a man, who did you emulate? What do you see as masculine with men in your lives (your fathers or brothers)? How do you define yourself as a man today??? What do you term as the strength of a Man?
Actually Marcia I feel disappointed with your response. Judging from most of your responses her to date I’ve found your wisdom fascinating and interesting to read.
I'm still left feeling kinda nauseous. …Way too much sugar can make you feel ill right? From what you noted about the beach, am sure your expectations have been crushed. Take a deep breath!
peiromantic I am thankful for those who posted Desiderata and IF - all men could benefit with reading these great philosophies - no matter how "sweet" some may think……. No man should try to emulate the heroes in their lives, but be a tapestry of all - be their own man.
Thank you! | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:44:58 AM | A classic role model (for men and women) is Atticus Finch, from "To Kill a Mockingbird".
In the mob scene at the courthouse: he did not put down or insult the men who were part of the lynch mob. He presented some facts and a different perspective. He left it to their own judgement to rethink their attitudes and behaviour. The men of the mob rose to their higher values and did not do the unthinkable.
Atticus acted with honour, wisdom and respect for others, no matter who they were. Sort of a modern day Solomon. A man of character.
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:12:07 AM | Interesting question..
Emulate:
Sgt Major A___ - a 6'2" Georgian I met when I was in Germany in the Army.
Strong, smart, and slow to judge a situation..
a loooong story, but he had the biggest smile when he learned I had 'met Mary'..
Davy Crockett (as portrayed by Walt Disney). (I actually met Fess Parker in Nam..)
Tommy Tell .. high-school English teacher.. bright and funny..
who was there when my voice changed..
Sister Mary Elizabeth .. the one who noticed when no one else did.
A black woman cashier at A&P, who nailed me stealing a Milky Way.
A BIG black cop.. who showed a little boy how to fly a kite..
It's all bits and pieces.. how we arfe formed. Strengths.. we all have certain strengths.. which can also
be weaknesses or blind spots.. So I don't really define myself as a 'man'.. Sure.. I'm male.. so what..?
That's just something that comes into play with one person.. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:29:08 AM | You beat me to it.. :-) I'll just add..
YOU may talk o' gin an' beer when you're quartered safe out 'ere,
An' you're sent to penny-fights an' Aldershot it;
But if it comes to slaughter you will do your work on water,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it.
Now in Injia's sunny clime where I used to spend my time
A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Queen,
Of all them black-faced crew the finest man I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din.
It was "Din! Din! Din! You limping lump o' brick-dust, Gunga Din!
Hi! slippy hitherao! Water, get it! Panee lao!
You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din!"
The uniform 'e wore was nothin' much before,
An' rather less than 'arf o' that be'ind.
for a twisty piece o' rag an' a goatskin water-bag
Was all the field-equipment 'e could find.
When the sweatin' troop-train lay in a sidin' through the day,
Where the 'eat would make your bloomin' eyebrows crawl,
We shouted "Harry By!" till our throats were bricky-dry,
Then we wopped 'im 'cause 'e couldn't serve us all.
'E would dot an' carry one till the longest day was done,
An' 'e didn't seem to know the use o' fear.
If we charged or broke or cut, you could bet your bloomin' nut,
'E'd be waitin' fifty paces right flank rear.
With 'is mussick on 'is back, 'e would skip with our attack,
An' watch us till the bugles made "Retire."
An' for all 'is dirty 'ide, 'e was white, clear white, inside
When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire!
It was "Din! Din! Din!" with the bullets kickin' dust-spots on the green.
When the cartridges ran out, you could 'ear the front-files shout:
"Hi! ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!"
I sha'n't forgit the night when I dropped be'ind the fight
With a bullet where my belt-plate should 'a' been.
I was chokin' mad with thirst, an' the man that spied me first
Was our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Din.
'E lifted up my 'ead, an' 'e plugged me where I bled,
An' 'e guv me 'arf-a-pint o' water—green;
It was crawlin' an' it stunk, but of all the drinks I've drunk,
I'm gratefullest to one from Gunga Din.
'E carried me away to where a dooli lay,
An' a bullet come an' drilled the beggar clean.
'E put me safe inside, an' just before 'e died:
"I 'ope you liked your drink," sez Gunga Din.
So I'll meet 'im later on in the place where 'e is gone—
Where it's always double drill and no canteen;
'E'll be squattin' on the coals givin' drink to pore damned souls,
An' I'll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din!
Din! Din! Din! 80
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Tho' I've belted you an' flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din! | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:38:17 AM | The measure of a man in today's world lies not in the strength of his body, but in the strength of his mind and soul.
He:
Gives respect where it is deserved, but treats all with respect regardless.
Knows what has to be done and does it.
Takes responsibility for his own actions.
Values truth, honor, integrity, justice and honesty
Strives to peaceful at all times, but will defend and protect himself and those he loves and those in his care, whether it be physically or otherwise.
Lives what he believes to the best of his ability, no matter what he believes.
Respects the opinions of others and their right to it even if it is completely opposite of his own.
Admits to his mistakes and tries to correct them.
Has compassion for others
Doesn't allow the "crowd" to dictate his behavior or beliefs, but chooses his own path.
Is considerate of the feelings of others
Doesn't demand his own way, but accepts compromise and sometimes sacrifice as the way to maintain order and peace, especially in a relationship.
Evaluates himself and his behavior and constantly tries to improve.
And as it applies to this site.
In dating, a man respects and appreciates a woman as a unique individual with a mind, body and soul like himself, treats her with respect and courtesy and understands that a woman determines the pace of any relationship by her absolute right to say "no" at any time.
Will stand beside the woman he loves through adversity, be it sickness, financial, personal to the end.
These are traits I believe an "ideal" man should have. Does such a man exist? There may have been one 2000 years ago. The rest of us poor mortals are still striving to achieve these goals. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:30:44 AM |
These are traits I believe an "ideal" man should have. Does such a man exist? There may have been one 2000 years ago. The rest of us poor mortals are still striving to achieve these goals.
Isn't the act of 'striving to achieve these goals' what makes an 'ideal' man? After all, we are human: full of doubts, have bad days, but we keep going. If you strive for it, you are going to achieve it sometimes, perhaps even most of the time. You are allowed to have 'off' days. No one is perfect.
If you give up because it is too hard, you will never achieve. That's what teenagers do. Adolescence is a stage we grow out of, but ONLY if we want to. Sadly, some never do. (Please don't confuse this with having fun and acting silly. Grown ups can be VERY playful, but they also take care of their responsibilities. It's the overall attitude I am referring to. And to the pedantic: yes, I dangled a participle...arghhhh!)
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:50:54 AM | A real man in today's world is-
Confident
Masculine
Sensual
Truthful
He can-
Express thought and emotion clearly
Deal with disappointments without crumbling or exploding
Be patient, caring and tolerant with himself and others
Remain open-hearted and open-minded | |
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 63 | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:11:17 AM | | Someone who can cry when both happy and sad. Someone who feels deeply and is tender and caring. Someone who values his virtue and reputation above everything else. Someone who who has profound empathy for all living and non living things. Someone whose emotions are easily read and who is comfortable with his softer side. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:35:11 AM | A man in Today's world?
Today: A sucker who lives a life based on an idealized set of standards created for him by a culture who sees him as nothing more than a resource for abuse, but who is wising up faster than the ruling elite can lay obstacles in his path; he is becoming dangerous.
However: it could be said that a "man" is one who pursues a vision based on the truth that smacks him upside his head, daily, and doesn't worry about being called "man," "gent," "faggot," "hero..." | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 1:04:48 PM | Try the dictionary.
Look at the box on the form that says male or female.
Hang out at the door of a men's locker room and see who is leaving.
Check for facial hair. (not always accurate)
Check for upper body strength. (not always accurate)
Lack of mammary glands (though some men may appear to have breasts, they won't produce milk)
If you're still confused;
Make him get naked and check for testicles and a penis. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 1:05:05 PM | Try the dictionary.
Look at the box on the form that says male or female.
Hang out at the door of a men's locker room and see who is leaving.
Check for facial hair. (not always accurate)
Check for upper body strength. (not always accurate)
Lack of mammary glands (though some men may appear to have breasts, they won't produce milk)
If you're still confused;
Make him get naked and check for testicles and a penis. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:21:56 PM | your question is a good one, most of us copy someone whether we know it or not. personally i change a lot who i copy and try not to copy anyone too much. my male family members were good men to a point but not like me. to anwer that question personally if you wanna know the old parrothead get a copy of "fruitcakes" by jimmy buffett and listen to lone palm and love in the library. then get a hold of the live album by jimmy and listen to a pirate looks at forty and jolly man and you got a good idea of who i am with a little fruitcakes thrown in for good measure! the old parrothead | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:15:08 PM | Some time ago , I watched a talk show where they had an equivalent number of young men and women ,, agout 30 of each I tink roughly .
They set about asking what they thought of life and their futures ,
The women vitually took over the show with aspirations of the careers , ambitions , and intentions of their future lives .
The men sat quietly watching and listening . When it came to asking the men their thoughts . One word summed it up .... confused .
Ladies , the men no longer have a role to play , apart from offering their sperm.( And even that can be purchased at the sperm bank I do believe).
I grew up idolising my father, little did I realise the mistake I was making . So I looked further afield , and grew by mixing in a lot of different social scenes , going down the wrong path, correcting myself , and proceeding to find myself through the school of hard knocks .
I have no regrets , as , over the years , I got to know , understand , and sometimes even respect , many of the people I came across.
In the process , I happened to marry , and have two daughters . For the following 28 years ( the marriage didn't last long ) , whatever I did , wherever I was , I always placed those two girls first in my life . I now have the priviledge of knowing two wonderful young women , both with good lives , enjoying life in their chosen directions .
To this end , I consider my role as a man successful .
At the age of 57 , I find myself still working hard and enjoying it . Still dreaming impossible dreams , happy within myself as a man , and looking to the future every day .
Yes , the role of men has changed somewhat ,yet I still see in women that desire to find the "man" from the past , so to speak .
Some things will never change methinks. | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 7:50:46 PM | For better or worse, the biggest influence in my life who mirrored what a man was in this world was my grandfather. He was one of those old Vermont farmers that Robert Frost wrote about in so much of his poetry. He worked hard in a very slow plodding way. He rarely said much but when he opened his mouth and DID speak, every one paid attention because everything he DID say was like a pearl of wisdom. Whatever he said, you did because you just knew it was right. He never expected too little of us or too much of us...........He was fair.
He was responsible, hardworking. supported his family and when he came home at night, his supper was on the table and the kids knew that they were to be quiet until he chose to talk. This wasn't him being an ogre...........we knew that he had worked hard and we wanted to do everything we could to show our appreciation for what he did.
Also we were the most important things in his life and we knew it. This gruff tuff over 6 foot professional wrestler/farmer who intimidated men in their 20's when he was in his late 50's was putty in our hands. He would throw his head back and laugh at our antics. He encouraged us to plant potatoes and dig them up.
He was always right. It was unbelievable. He was intelligent, thought a lot, talked very little but when people went to him with problems, he always knew the "right" thing to do. He was a man's man. And I loved that as much as he loved me being a girl.
His integrity was incredible. You could trust him with your life ........ But the times I loved where when I would climb on his lap and hug him. He had cauliflower ears from wrestling and I started to cry because I thought they hurt him and he told me that my grandmother had put him through the washing wringer when he had disobeyed her one day and my tears changed to horror.............and then he laughed and laughed and I realized that he was kidding me..............He had a great sense of humor.
Even today, I am attracted to men like him..............Wayne was like him in many ways. So those kind of guys ARE still around today..........rare treasures! | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:18:48 PM | *TODAYS* world . . ??
It seems to me that the Macho-slob Bad-boy types get a majority of attention . .
..but..as a result .. they are creating more Man-Bashers and full-time Lesbians
by how they treat the women that are initially attracted to them . .
Personally .. I maintain a classic Gentlemans attitude .. {for better or worse} ..
Admiration of an attractive Lady . .
Old-fashioned Gallantry, Chivalry, Manners and . . above all . . Respect !
True...I may be losing out on the 'Modern'Woman' .. whatever her age . .
but I can only respect myself if I respect Others . . !!
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:04:53 AM | For me a man has an inner strength. He can be the one that stays in to watch a family member's casket being closed for the last time, to make sure that the workers do things with respect. A man takes care of his family obligations without moaning and complaining. Even as a every-other-weekend Dad, I've maintained a very close relationship with my teenage children. The proof is that my son who lives at college a train ride away, takes it upon himself to meet me for dinner once a week.
A man can be intimidating when necessary - not physically intimidating, necessarily, but he can put the "don't mess with me" face on. He can difuse a situation with a strong hand on a shoulder and the right words whispered in an ear. No need to embarass anyone. A man loves women and appreciates that each one is an individual, never asking "why do all woman do X?" He treats them with respect.
Just a few thoughts.
Tony | |
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:21:20 AM | What makes a real man?
God! One who is understanding...esply when a gal is unlearning things and learning at the same time!
One who accepts me for who I am and loves my imperfections.
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| How would you define a MAN in todays world?????
Posted: 3/15/2008 3:40:02 AM | | I've enjoyed reading these posts. It's hard to put into words, isn't it? A man in today's world is someone who has grown up and takes pride in being grown up. He has that inner strength and is there for the people in his life who he loves. | |
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