| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:43:54 PM | i;m still grieving after two years , i' hope to give to someone my freindship and love i had for my wife, i keep my wifes family close to me to help me t.  | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/7/2009 12:14:26 PM | | Hello,red, I,ve just went through ,losing my beatiful loving friend wife to cancer. But I,m putting one foot in front of the other, and moving , don,t know where, but doing it anyhow. Thinking about dating, and have gotten POF Soo New Year , New times. OK RED ,go for it Enjoy Cal. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/7/2009 1:02:33 PM | I lost my husband when i was 18.He was killed in the Gulf war,he was just 22.I was 4 months pregnant and our firstborn had died the same year.My baby was just 7 weeks old when she died.I was and still am heartbroken.......
You never get over it but time does help to kind of 'scab over' the wounds but they never ever heal.
One morning you will wake up and smile and not feel guilty for doing so.The sun will shine again in your life and you will be able to smile at the happy memories,be able to say the persons name without breaking down in tears,be able to find another beau and not feel like you are cheating or betraying the persons memory.
In my case i had my baby and didnt feel guilty for having her,didnt feel like i was trying to replace my baby daughter who died.What helped me was tattooing my back in memory of my baby.
In the case of moving on and finding love again after being left a widow i did meet someone else about 18 months later and didnt feel like i was betraying my late husband.
I was mentally and emotionally ready.......
 for everyone who has lost someone | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/7/2009 5:35:10 PM | | I feel ya. I lost my brother, 40 at the time of his death, to colon, liver and lymph cancer in January '07, and part of me died too. Allow yourself to grieve, but also turn those tears of pain into tears of joy and start loving the people around you who are still here and still need your love. That's the only thing that healed me. Family and friends still need ya... | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:35:05 PM | I still grieve my grandfathers death and he died when I was a sophomore in high school. Healing has no time limit and honestly everyone has their own way of dealing with grief. I am sorry if you have lost a loved one. They have a support group and for a while that may help you, just look on line. I hope you have a friend that you can lean on. Just don't be afraid to ask for help or assistance, I am sure that you have a lot of people in this world that love and care about you.
God Speed. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 11:10:46 AM | Our family lost one grandma in April and that one was pretty tough on everybody because it was so sudden. She was in excellent health, but her heart just stopped one morning as she was getting out of bed.
Last night, I lost my other grandma. She had been showing the early signs of Dementia and a few months ago, was placed in a care facility for those with Alzheimer's. She was still lucid enough to know what was happening to her and that was probably the saddest part about it. She knew. A few weeks ago, a male patient in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's punched my grandma in the head and she fell to the floor. Since then, she had been having a series of minor strokes.
This past week, she had two major strokes and yesterday, she slipped into a coma. She passed away last night at 11 pm.
I know, and my whole family is at peace with her passing and know she is finally in a better place. It is still sad, but she is at peace now. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 11:45:09 AM | This can be overcome..
You must believe and remember that Death is not the end, It's the beginning of forever!
Once you've entered into that, You'll never have to go through the pain of Death again, Nor suffering from the loss of another loved one!
We all have fear and heartache when such a tragedy occurs, and we are NEVER prepared for such an even! But rest assure that Jesus has promised to love you forever and once we are with him, We'll again be with our loved one's, and be satisfied forever in eternity!!
Just look up, Smile, and know they are closer that you really think! Nobody is gone forever, they are just waiting to see you again, that's all
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 12:07:29 PM | | hey there I have lost alot of people in a very short time , my mom was only 57, my husband was only 51 , his father just a week before. the tears will stop eventually , its been 9 years since my hubsand, I still cry , but it doesn't hurt as bad, as the cliche says "TIME DOES HEAL ALL WOUNDS" and don't let anybody tell you they know what your going through ! nobody really knows how you feel, best wishes to you sweetheart , and know that it will get better | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:35:59 PM | The posters ask, "How do you deal with the death of a loved one, how do you cope, how do you move on start a new life, hoe do you stop the tears......"
Well, Beautuful red curles, every person has their own grieving method. If you need help there are grops set up in hospis organization for free.
There are about 7 grieving steps, and it may take youe days months, and years to overcome the lost.
First, please accept my codolences for your heartbreak.
I lost a son it took me 12 years to get over him, and I'm still chocked up sometimes.
I lost a wife after 35 years, but I had two children at home;therefore I had to be strong for them.
I finally entered into another relationship and she just passed away, Dec. 8, 2008; each death has it own sets of rules.
I fianlly wrote a letter to my son, it was what I needed for closure.
My kids wife , I grieved for about six weeks when my mind went into nutrual.
If you have friends and family express your feeling to them, maybe have a family crying session and then talk about the good times.
If you are a relious person speak to your pastor. Talk to God.
I hope this helped, I am sure you will find your own way but for closure and grieving one must progressively go through each step.
Look it up on the net how to grieve.
Stay busy and do not overdrink . Being here on this boeard will help you also because you have a place to to speak andf people to comfort you. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:44:57 PM | Joining your group hug.. Just remember Jonathan is with God now, no better place to be.. Hang onto those lovely memories..
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:51:23 PM | | I dont believe you need to stop the tears from falling, let them out. When you lose a loved one it is tramatic and time is the healer. If you like to write this will help to give you something to focus on. Or punch a punching bag/I found it helps to keep on going about my daily business, so staying active yet allowing those down times to happen when needed too. ~Blessings~ | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:27:49 AM | | Grief is different for every person, we all grieve differently, there is no set pattern or timeline for dealing with grief. I lost the middle of my three children in 2005 in a vehicle accident, the loss was more than my marriage could handle, after over 24 years we ended the marriage. What happened; the difference in the way we handled the grief, I and my daughter were moving forward, but my wife gave up on life, she literally didn't want to go anywhere, do anything except lay in bed. Only you will know whether it's time to move on or not, time is your best friend here, moving to quickly can have adverse effects, trust me on this one. I met a woman and fell head over heels in love, her family were murdered right in front of her, at the time of our meeting she had been alone about a year and a half, but she said she was ready to move on, she wasn't, she ended the relationship after just over a year and has essentially pulled back into a cocoon, living each day out drinking her way into forgetting. Like I said time is on your side, listen to your heart and follow it. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:36:46 PM | I too, am grieving a recent loss of my daughter who died suddenly before Christmas 2008. My confusion that I believe makes this grief process even more difficult is it seems as those closest to me have distanced themselves from me? If I do try to talk about my daughter, they don't want to hear it? (So I don't bother to bring it up). I feel almost as though I have another loss to deal with by the way people act!
( Unsupportive & maybe too self-absorbed to care? ) I dont know for sure but it does confuse me & bothers me also | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/22/2009 1:50:50 PM | | No one knows the"right " things to say so they avoid you and because it is too uncomfortable.I too am grieving alone and it is very hard.Grief counseling does help.I tell people the best thing you can do for someone is just be there,listen and let them talk about their child or cry.But no one knows the pain and heartache we feel.I will keep you in my prayers. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/22/2009 10:17:55 PM | | I went through this myself, like deb stated people just don't know what to say or how to deal with what your going through, rather than take a chance they pull away. Good friends are an asset, because they will be there no matter what, if you need to cry they will allow it and not judge, if you need to vent they will listen because they know thats what they need to do, it's all they can do. I went through counseling, read numerous books and I poured myself into helping the other 7 teenagers that were involved in my sons accident, helping them healed me, they allowed me to love them even through my loss and I was healing in the process. Counseling is always the best thing, these people are trained to deal with what your going through, they can give you the tools you need to help, they can explain why your feeling what your feeling from a different perspective that makes sense, I hope this helps. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:21:42 PM | I lost a grandmother due to illness, one of my best friends to heart failure, and my other grandmother due to lung cancer... All in the course of a year and a half.
It's hard to deal with, even now... The main thing keeping me from shutting off from everything is the thought that they deserve to know what they meant to me. The best way I can do that is to live life the best I can until I'm reunited with them.
The pain's always there, but I've learned that it drives me to want to become something truly great in my life. I owe it to them | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/24/2009 7:10:22 PM | | I lost my husband to cancer almost seven years ago. All you can do is make it through a minute at a time until you can make it a day at a time. The pain never goes away you just learn how to deal with it. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:36:37 PM | | I lost my husband in april of 2008. we were together for 16years.he was 45andhad a heart attack.I was at work and had talked to him on my break .only to come home and find him dead.he was my best friend ,lover and pal.Imiss him everyday and all the "he's in a better place's "does not console me. but thru the love of my family ecspecially my son and his wife and my grandbabies ,i know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.Both of his parents and his brother have never let me down. I attend grief meetings twice a week and am now applying what I know to helping grieving children. I know that although the feeling of loss never goes away, I am better off than I was in the beginning for the steps I took to find somewhere I could go and talk with others that were like me. So to all of you who've lost somebody God bless and may peace and understanding come into your heart. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:20:29 PM | i lost someone too but i see him everyday in our son....
maybe who u lost left u a gift too so that u could find ur way to go on.
"will u love me forever fry? -me
"not forever fry, 'til death do us part" -him | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:44:16 PM | | let the tears flow, its healing, love is forever, in our thoughts, in our hearts. take care of your health, yourself, time. In time. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:49:08 AM | | It does get easier with time. I don't think you ever get over it but you learn to accept it. Sometimes you will feel overwhelmed, fustrated, angry, suicidal.. but you will learn to move on and laugh again. I didn't feel like I ever would but I have. I lost my partner in May in a tragic accident - I found him dead at home , and at first I didn't feel like I would ever be able to cope or even do everyday things.. Now well, who knows I may even be able to love again one day, but for now at least I am able to enjoy myself and have some fun. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him, but I know he would want me to be happy and I have had to accept that he is not coming back.. the problem with death is we don't understand it and just don't know what happens to us after we die.. x | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:41:37 PM | I feel for you all.. My honey died suddenly of a heart attack. After 8 yrs he was gone without warning. He died 1000 miles away helping his mom. Never got to say goodbye. He did send me a birthday card, which I received two days before he died. He, hand written, said that he loved me always. I will never forget that.
I flew up to the funeral alone.
We were very private about us (his request) So I was the stranger. His relatives were all there. I was his "friend" from Florida.
Just being alone, and seening my life partner in the open casket....too much
Been almost a year... I'll never be the same... (tries to smile!!)
You all are great!! | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:14:41 PM | You know it is threads like this that all the people who are over in the other forums whining (including myself and that is why I came here) to gain some perspective on what is really important in life. When you love someone there is never any guarantee how long you will have together, that includes family, spouses , lovers and friends.
My Dad died suddenly three years ago and I never got to say good bye, but I can honestly say that not spending more time with my Dad is the biggest regret in my life, since then whenever I speak to a dear friend or family member, I always tell them I love before we part ways and they know that I do.
Losing someone you love under any circumstances is difficult and but when it is unexpectant or suddenly, I think it is much harder. I feel for all of you. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/12/2009 1:38:19 PM | After 3 long years 4 brain ops lost my brother age 37 to a brain tumour in october 2008, its been 4 months but the longer hes gone the harder im finding it to deal with.
i miss you Geoff xxx 15/10/2008 rip xx | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/13/2009 5:05:46 PM |
After 3 long years 4 brain ops lost my brother age 37 to a brain tumour in october 2008, its been 4 months but the longer hes gone the harder im finding it to deal with.
i miss you Geoff xxx 15/10/2008 rip xx
I sure feel your pain! I lost my little brother almost five years ago to liver cancer after 3 long years, multiple operations, Chemo finally killed him at 46. We were only 13 months apart, and extremely close.......... I have three older brothers...but not the same.
I lost my darling husband 2 1/2 years ago on our anniversary. They are both buried in the same National Cemetery. Such different loves, but sometimes I am not sure which I shed the most tears for. Just wanted you to know I care...God bless you....you go thru it.........never over it!: | |
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