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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Losing a loved one to death      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Losing a loved one to death
 ichi-bon

Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 276
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/13/2009 5:15:52 PM
This can be overcome..
You must believe and remember that Death is not the end, It's the beginning of forever!
Once you've entered into that, You'll never have to go through the pain of Death again, Nor suffering from the loss of another loved one!

We all have fear and heartache when such a tragedy occurs, and we are NEVER prepared for such an event! But rest assure that Jesus has promised to love you forever and once we are with him, We'll again be with our loved one's, and be satisfied forever in eternity!!


This is WONDERFUL sentiment and meant well, I am sure......but it does not help us here. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where my husband is.......my parents, my little brother,etc.............but my husband's arms are not around me at night. I don't sit next to him at the breakfast table and see his shining blues sparkle, or hear him say " I lOVE you". I don't spend my days loving and caring like we did. There are no marriages in heaven, so that relationship is over forever!

My daughter did not have the opportunity to have her Uncle Bob walk her down the sandy isle in the Bahamas last year at her wedding, as she had hoped all her life, etc.

God's love is omnipresent, but our loved ones are in His care now. We rejoice for them...but don't deceive yourself that that takes away our pain. When Lazarus died.....even though He was God, and He knew He would rise...the bible says......Jesus Wept.
Even God said " it is not good that man ( or woman) should be alone. We are by our nature meant to have love. Taken from us for whatever reason.....death is a finality to us while we live here on earth!






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 SweetnessInLove

Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 277
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:03:06 PM
Oh Ichi Bon i so wish i could hug you thru the computer, i feel the same way.
though i know my love is in the better place, and all his pain taken away, it hits like a hot poker to the heart when i face the reality that though i WILL see him again, i WONT in my lifetime here on Earth.
XOXOXO Happy Valentines and remember and rejoice in his love, we are so ucky that we had a wonderful person to love in our lives, truly blessed. Many people never even have that.
 ichi-bon

Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 278
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:47:57 PM
Hi Sweetnessinthekeys............you're right.we did have that kind of love and NO ONE can take that from us..............or make it less than it was.
I in fact quoted somewhat of one of your responses in another forum....that I wish my darling husband had divorced me...at least I would still be able to talk to him, see him happy, even if not with me.
I know that isn't verbatum...but I think it was close.

I know Valentines Day is melancholy for us...but remember the love that we had doesn't die in your heart. ..........One day at a time. Hugs,
 JmichaelH

Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 279
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/14/2009 3:41:12 PM
I understand, I lost my wife of 20 years two years ago today(yea Valintines realy sucks) and just gave up. She was my entire life after all the kids moved out. I was and am disabled and spent 24-7 just taking care of her. When she died my life was over, nothing left but she made me promis to stay in this world and help our children and grandchildren but I think they helped me more. When I look into the face of my first grandaughter all I she is my lost love ,my heart, my soal. She was born just6 days after my love passed and I somhow belive that a largr part of her was reborn. The only thing good I can say is that now she doesn't hurt any more and I thank god she went first because I would not wish this pain on her ever. They say sometimes death is a blessing but I'll be damned if I know when . Sorry I have to go now.
 judysheltie

Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 280
Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/14/2009 10:14:05 PM
losing a loved one to death is the hardest thing in life that we all wil go through at some time.i lost the love of my life, my husband ,last year. i thought i would die when he did/he was only 52 years old and died from lung cancer. one thing i learned is that u never, ever get over your loss, but u still have to go on living. i keep the holidays and special days that i had with him by buying him a card or gift-it is not unhealthy to keep his memory alive. however, if one lives in the past forever, one does not have a future--so we take baby steps--i went to a grief support group and allowed myself to fully grieve whenever i needed to. it is hard to get into another relationship at times--so take little steps and do not compare each person to the one u lost as u will stay in limbo forever/ be true to your feelings and also open your heart to the noce people tht are out there and one never knows what can happen.don't be surprised if u laspse into sadnoess now and then-that is normal and allow yourself to feel what u feel and do not try to run away from your feelings-if u r sad, then cry-if u feel good-then smile.prayer helps too-and let go and let God--if it is meant to be that a new love will enter your life-then it will--do not try too hard-let nature take its course.one never forgets their loss, but it helps to allow yourself to open your heart-slowly
 The bodyguard ss

Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 281
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/20/2009 7:23:55 PM
My condolances to every single person on this forum, my heart goes out to you and I understand whats going on but my situation is a little different. I have a friend who has cancer, terminal ovarian cancer, with six months to a year left of her life unless she goes for surgery, she's sworn off chemo and radiation because it just hurts her too much. But even if the doctors do get all the cancer, there's no guarentee that it wont come back, she's worried that it'll spread, and it hurts me because in my mind she's dying in front of my eyes and it rips me apart. Every night when I go to sleep I first pray to God and then I cry myself to sleep because of the pain that I'm going through. But I be strong in front of her, she doesn't need too worry about me as well.
 tenia_11

Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 282
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:42:00 PM
you never get over them, you just seem to get on with life,its hard and it takes time. but if your strong you cope, you just have to..life goes on...i dont mean that to sound harsh, ive got experience in the subject...and that was my way of coping..everyone is different...i hope things get better for you...
 coldnozeshaz

Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 283
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:01:26 PM
I lost my husband Nov 2008 suddenly from a stroke aged 40 years, we were married for 17 years, from my experience you have to get on with your life, life is for living and life is too short. I am strong person and yes you do cope, you never completely get over the loss. Just gets easier and with pure determination, i could have easily crumbled and not got up each day but I have found the strength for the sake of my Son and Daughter ..
 kpooks

Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 284
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/15/2009 8:52:34 AM
Son and daughter. There you go. Channel that love into the people who are still here and still need your love. Children, parents, siblings, etc. It's not the same KIND of love, but it's still love. Love is love.

I've got a new nephew to love, who I'd like to see more of, who is the spitting image and personality of my brother. Anyone believe in reincarnation? That little guy is becoming an important buddy.

I have imaginary (or are they imaginary) "phone conversations" with my departed brother from time to time, and I ask him..."Hey! How's life over there on the other side?" Overwhelmingly, the answer is that is very bright and cheerful, a place filled with white-hot, brilliant spirit and lots of love, a place where anything you want to do is possible, you just dream it up and do it, free of the constraints of these aging physical bodies and free of the responsibilities of paying bills. Since there's no physical body, there's no need for lust or sexual desire, but there is a SPIRITUAL excitement that is way more fulfilling than sex.

If people knew how wonderful the afterlife is, there'd be massive suicides...ahhh, but, according to religious belief, if you kill yourself, you don't get there to that wonderful place (call it Heaven or Nirvana or whatever), because, since God created you in His likeness and His image, if you kill yourself, you kill God, and alienate yourself from His love. So we've got to stick it out here, suck on it, try to make the best of this world, and suffer until He deems it's time for us to go.
 WCCII

Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 285
Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:34:57 AM
Dont think I'll ever get over the lose of my wife of 39 yrs to Cancer. sometimes life really sucks but then again no one gets out alive in the end anyway. just try and keep going and redirect your emotions to someone that will appreciate them.
 sumeraine4u

Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 286
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/15/2009 10:11:33 AM
To all of you that have lost a loved one my heart and prayers go out to you. I lost my first husband suddenly and unexpectedly to an accident when we were in our 20's. I had never experienced the loss of a loved one and it isn't something you think about when you are young, so it was hard for me to accept and understand. I can tell you, you NEVER forget that person and you shouldn't try to. No ONE will ever take their place and they shouldn't have to try to compete with a ghost, (an ex, a past love.) In time it does get easier and each person heals in their own time. Although you might not think so at the time, honestly if you are willing, you can open up your heart and let another person in. If you do chose to allow yourself to love another, love this person for their wonderful and unique qualities. Never try to compare.
 windowknowing

Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 287
Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/25/2009 4:55:30 PM
I personally know what your all going through. I have lost four family members and two friends in the last seven years. I'm especially at loss over my beautiful daughter Jennifer, I like many have lost a child. Nobody knows what that is like, unless you are a parent. To lose your child is so tramatic. so devastating it's beyond belief. It's been four years and no I'll never celebrate another birthday again. Yes she passed on my fourty sixth birthday. A day I was happy and proud of, until I recieved the news.
Why did God tip me upside down and pound me into the concrete for the rest of my life? I won't know till I get to Heaven myself. My life has changed , My life has changed.
 Carollee123

Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 288
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Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/25/2009 7:43:43 PM
I lost a son at the tender age of 31 years old to sucicide. I am a Mom who loves my children unconditionally and was devestated to be the one to find him. That will be 5 yrs. ago in Oct. this year. A parent should never outlive a child no matter the age. I too, have lost many family members ie; parents, brother, nephew, grandparents, cousin, etc. but nothing compares to the loss of my son.

The sadness, depression, anxiety, and all the rest of it near killed me emotionally and it has taken about 4+ yrs. for me to be able to talk about him without tears. I never tried to stop the tears because it seemed to be a release. I appreciate all the good memories and laugh about some of the bad ones.

Everyone takes their own amount of time to grieve a loved one. Nobody deals with it for the same amount of time. Don't let anyone rush you through the grieving process.
God Bless all of you who have lost loved ones as my heart goes out to all of you.
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