| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/22/2006 5:54:24 AM | | i lost my mum when i was 18 months, cant remember her but have photos and many stories about her. my dad bought me and my 4 brothers up on his own. hes 56 now and only remarried 2 years ago. he said he was so in love with my mum he wasnt interested in anyone else and the way he managed to live was to make sure he bought us up as well as he could. you never get over something like that but doing something positive helps. xxx | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/22/2006 5:59:49 AM | PureHearted said,
I have had a really hard time letting go of the past.
I'm too busy these days to dwell too much on my past. I worry about the future more than my past, I worry about the future for humanity, not just me. I worry very much about the world yet at the same time I have hope. I cannot be happy while there is so much unhappines around us, but I can hope and dream of a better world. A partner would also help, someone to share with, someone who has similar ideals.
Experiencing the pain we get from the death of someone close can bring things home to us and so realise the importance of our common humanity. There isn't anything we can do to bring our lost loved ones back but we can try to prevent other people's grief and this is something very positive. I know that on our own none of us can save the world but if we can achieve a little, then life hasn't been for nothing. It's when we start thinking more of other people that we get relief from our own pain and we get rewarded because we find new friends who care.
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| In memory to everyone's loss
Posted: 4/22/2006 11:23:48 AM | The memories do live on in our hearts. A poem if I may in their honour....
 A Letter from Heaven
To you my dearest family, some things I'd like to say;
but first of all to let you know that I arrived today.
I'm writing this from heaven, here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Through the power of my spirit, I'll be with you every morning,
noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and said, "I welcome you."
Then God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list was to watch and care for you.
So when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...in the middle of the night.
There will be rocky roads ahead and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it one day at a time.
And as you're walking down the street and you've got me on
your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go from your body to be free,
remember you're not going...you're coming here to me. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/29/2006 4:01:17 PM | Hi there. I know exactly what youre going through as i lost my wife 19 years ago. I am now over the pain of losing her but my memories will always remain. At times i wonder why i cant get into another relationship but i guess its the thought of losing my soulmate. I can still feel her around me and know shes guiding me through life today. I was hit with a saying that when you are at your weakest point, thats when you are the strongest ( you fight to stay on top of things) and when you are the strongest thats when you are the weakest (you drop your guard). I miss her so much but life does go on. I wonder what my life would be like if she were still here but at the same time i must go on for the sake of the children. Sometimes i lay in bed and nearly come to tears but i know shes in a better place and well looked after. So i know exactly how you feel. Keep you chin up and know he/she is guiding you through the touch times. GOD bless.  | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 1:35:58 AM | I lost my very best friend approx. six weeks ago...........God, how I miss her ... I have absentmindedly picked up the phone to call her or been running errands, and then find myself driving in the direction of her home...only to suddenly feel that horrible heaviness come washing over me once again when realizing she is gone.. the times of forgetting she is no longer here are sometimes worse than having her on my mind on a constant basis... seems when i have had to concentrate on work, my family, or financial matters, as if she knows there are things I have to get done and patiently steps to the side then afterwards, when re-entering my mind........ omg, seems like it had just happened and I watch her die all over again......... I have felt, when at the cementary , that If I could just lie down on that piece of rectangular grass directly above her , so to be close to her and talk to her, then if I should fall asleep , she will be sitting there waiting for me to wake up, and it will all be but just a bad dream........... this woman was a truely amazing woman, not only my best friend, but my teacher in life as well, her love for me was as unconditional as it gets... no matter how bad or wrong my mistakes were, she never judged me or felt ashamed of me , she was like this with all who knew her, I can not believe I will never hear her voice, or her laughter, her such sound advice along with her words of encouragement, and we will share no more secrets ever ever again............ I am not understanding why I am feeling worse as these days are getting longer, and seem to be blending in with one another , which never the less, is still time moving forward....... I thought it is supposed to be TIME that heals??????????????? It has only been six weeks..... perhaps having my Mother as my best friend is what is making it harder????? All I know is, I am trying hard to be and feel the way she would want me to,
to live, laugh and love to the best of my ability, and to have faith in believing she has gone home and in a much better place now. I love you Mom, now and 4-ever.
I really am trying, so why am I becoming more lost day by day???????????????????
I am not even sure how, when, or why I made a choice to come to this particular spot to start rambling on and on about this???
To those of you who have taken the time and patience to read this and unselfishly lean your shoulder my way, for which I am a total stranger, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you . Indeed my sympathy goes out to you all for your losses, God Bless you all
Blindheart  | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 1:57:15 AM | | hun i am sorry for you...i don't feel you should be here..this is so full of guys looking for someone to have....for a minute you have to be strong on here!! please don't be fooled...you are innocent and weak..please be careful..i know that doesn't answer your question...but be careful | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:03:52 AM | you have to live babe...maye them proud of you....because are worth it....a...winnner...a.doer....and i know all my loved ones wants is for me to be happy
xoxoxxo | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:10:02 AM | GOD girl make your DAD proud....to show how good he did
was wondering, was this meant for me? ^^^^^^^^^
scratch this question, i see now if refers to jaffa..... sounds to me as though Father and daughter are very proud of one another.
aahhhhhhhh, maybe this has shed some light for me...... I had lost my dad some years ago, maybe the lost feeling stems from being totally parentless now????
.......and then again maybe I am grasping at straws here.... I know I would gladly take a zanax about now if I had one ! | |
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| In memory to everyone's loss
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:12:21 AM | hello,
life has changend....lol...you know it...please don't look for me......move on my sweet babies i am happy now.no pain...nothing hurts......i miss you alot but here i am now...you have to seek the weakest hun...to tell her........................................life is god no...love babe | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:20:49 AM | | Hun sit back...breathe...and move on, you have her memoroies....so move on...life is shoft...give her back what she gave you in energy and life, in her memory...love Debi | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:33:49 AM | MAY I SAY...CAN WE TAKE A MONENT TO THOSE OUR POEPLE LOST....SMALL PRAYER...FAKE IF YOU HAVE TOO...BUT TAlK TO YOUR GOD...
THANK YOU...STARING NOW | |
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Burma
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Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| In memory to everyone's loss
Posted: 4/30/2006 5:29:27 PM | | I think that poem is just beautiful........it brought tears to my eyes. I lost my husband of 38 yrs. 3 yrs ago. I am just now starting to enjoy my life again and to look forward to the future. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 5:37:42 PM |
How do you deal with the death of a loved one
One day, one small step at a time. To repeat a cliche' only time will help you. The grieving process averages three to seven years and you go through several steps involving denial, anger and sadness. The only way to get through your grief is to go through the grieving process.
how do you cope
You do what you must to get through each day. I promise it does get easier with time. I lost my husband of 22 years seven years ago due to an accident and I can honestly tell you that it got a little easier to cope as time passed.
hoe do you stop the tears......
You don't stop the tears, they will slowly stop on their own and eventually you won't need them anymore. Tears help you work through your grief. Don't try to be overly strong, don't try to "keep a stiff upper lip" all the time; that way lies madness (tried that and fell completely apart at work one afternoon). Take each day as it comes. Finally you will be able to remember without the all-consuming grief. I know you want it to "GET BETTER NOW" we all do/did, but it won't/can't. You can only work through it, and one day you'll look around and see that it has gotten easier. Then you can move on with your life.
One other thing, don't let others tell you "It's time to move on", they don't know when it's time for you to move on, only you know that. If you can, or can afford it try to get some counciling to help you deal with your loss. I did, and I can honestly say it helped me immensely. | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 7:23:04 PM | can divorce be worse?...sometimes i think it can. The loss of my husband has left me totally alone. But unlike those who can truly morn a death noone understands the depth of my loss. It hurts evertime i have to see them togeather, everytime my twelve year old claims the computer as she "has a life". Everytime i get rejected yet again. It is so sad....since he left nothing has been the same. It is a death for me as it is the death of all that was good. I try to go on , but it is so hopeless. It has been 3 years now, and i just get older sadder and more cynical. I wish I hadnt lost everyone at once. His family and friends...really i am dead to them now. So i am alone in a neighborhood the lone single mother a figure of fun. It is very hard. I have to keep busy with work and school, but i am always aware that the good times are gone. Albums full of photos, that end abruptly.....now no more as my good camera was stolen....Dont like digital miss film. Out by the road the old kitchen set my daughter loved so much 10 years ago.....all metaphoprs for loss.....i feel for you all, and i understand more then you think.  | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 4/30/2006 10:12:20 PM | Thank you for those sweet words .As you may or may not know i lost my b/f in November 4,2005. It means so much to me .But i can tell you this hold your head up .
cuddley kitten 06 | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:21:09 AM | If your interested~I know of a message board that trully helped me when I first lost my husband.
They are a great bunch of widows/ers and a great support group....
E-mail me if you want the link them.....
Pebbles | |
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| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 5/1/2006 11:32:19 AM | I'm truly sorry for you for your loss & pain right now.I have lost many
loved ones,both young & old & it's never easy.You deal with it one day
at a time.We cope with it because it's our inner strength that slowly
pushes us to continue living & moving on.Let the tears flow & any other
emotion out for that is part of the healing process.The grieving is different
for each person as far as the time it takes to heal.But,time will ease the
deep pain & devastation but there's always a void left where they once
were.I find the first year is the hardest,the first holidays without them,
the getting used to not seeing or talking to them.Hold on to the sweet
memories you have of them.Talk about them,talk to them,find whatever
solace gives you the most peace & comfort.For every passing of one life,
a new one is born.They may be gone in the physical sense but they will
always live on in our mind & heart of those that loved them.
I want to share a poem written by my beautiful,talented,gifted poet,
my niece Steph,21,written before she left us.It is engraved in her headstone:
...........................Angel..........................
Flying in the sky
Feeling free
Having that peace inside of me
I'm an angel
I've always wanted to be
No sadness,no tears,
No anger,no fears
Just being free-
Alone to myself
Feeling the wind
Rush through me
I'm the angel
I've always wanted to be
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Cin4U
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 50 | |
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 5/1/2006 2:34:33 PM | This was posted before...hope it helps.
IF I KNEW
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay"
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today. | |
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