| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:09:16 PM | Hi I just lost my mother to cancer and i know what you are dealing with there is no right or wrong way to feel I know your sitting there thinking am i going crazy will i ever move past this will i forget them if i do. you just have to let your self feel what you are feeling your loved one will always be there even if you cant see them or hear them its in the small things we dont pay attention to that they give us signs . If you feel like crying cry if you feel like screaming scream if you feel like you just want to lay down and give up for a day or two do it
be kind to your self let your emotions do what they must. It will get better i am at the stage were one day it fine the next i hit like a ton of bricks with emotion out of blue. Cry and let your self heal life will get better and you will be happy again and your loved one would want that for you to be happy. if you need to talk to someone . send me a note i will
help you if i can
its good to just have someone to talk to about how your feeling.
Gad bless and be kind to your self ! | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:40:41 PM | | I recently lost my best friend, Sharon to Leukemia. She spent the better part of 18 months battling...and just when we thought she'd licked it....she went into Liver and kidney failure..and ultimately her sweet little heart gave up. There are times when I can't believe she is gone. I saw her in the hospital....saw her on life support....prayed for her....cried for her....worked with her for more than 5 years. She was the sister I never had....and now she is gone. I hate it....I want to beat my fists against something...want to cry till I'm dry....but I know Sharon...she'd be ragging at me to "just quit!" What would your friend/loved one/ mate or partner wish for you? Sharon would want me to live my best life....without looking back at what once was. She always had my best interests at heart...and I firmly believe she's watching out for me somewhere in the great beyond. Life was so good with her in it....and so much less now that she's gone...but she would NOT want me to waste the time I have left...****ing and moaning about what once was...and live here in the NOW....the best way I can. S. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:03:36 PM | I lost my husband on 2/12/07 - he died of heart failure. We had been having marital problems over the past year, and I had just separated from the week before he died (not formal, but I went to stay somewhere else) and it was the first week we were ever apart. I married him at 22 years old, so this was a lot of my life.
I am still having problems dealing with this issue. My heart does go out to all here. (((hugs))) | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:51:37 PM | | I lost my 23 yr old son in December and it has been hard. But my family and friends have helped me with it. I still have my days when all I do is cry wanting to know why God took my baby. Someone who was kind and loving father of 2 boys one which he never seen. I went right back to work as soon as I could it really helped. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:00:52 AM | | I lost my fiance May 13, 2006, you never stop missing them you just learn to cope and eventually move on always remembering that they would not have wanted you to suffer. Your loved one is with the Lord now and your Loved one's spirit will never be far from you. Always remember that. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:19:41 AM | Oh my goodness. I cannot imagine. I just lost my husband too and it hurts and I lost a baby too.
death is very sad to take. but what I find comforting is a scripture in Rev 21:4 where it states and God will wipe out every tear from their eye and death and sorrow wil be no more,
this will be on the new earth as stated in the Our father thy kingdom come thy will be done
when all those who are dead are resurrected John 6:44 | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:27:27 PM | Foxyfoxy74, I have heard it expressed in a different way but still the same sentiment. One of my good friends, who lost his brother and father when he was a teen, told me that the hurt never goes away it just becomes more managable.
On a different note the courts sentenced the man that accidentally killed my brother in a car crash. He got a fine of $128. Thats it now how do I deal with something like that. Its like the judge is saying that my brother wasn't worth that much. It hurts. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:58:18 PM |
How do you deal with the death of a loved one, how do you cope, how do you move on start a new life, hoe do you stop the tears......
I don't now, I haven't figured that out yet. My wife died 5 years ago, we were married 27 years. I spend New Year's Eve alone, same for Valentines Day. Her birthday was 2 days after that. My birthday is in April, she died 3 days after that day. Our Anniversary was in May. Then there are the holidays spent without her. I haven't been on a vacation since she died, because I can't bear to go alone. I have quit remembering how her voice sounded. I no longer smell her perfume. I'm getting ready to move out of the house we shared. She always bought Christmas and birthday presents all year long and hid them away. I'm afraid I'll find some of those when I move.
How do you deal with the death of a loved one, how do you cope, how do you move on start a new life, hoe do you stop the tears...... I wish someone would tell me, I have no idea. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:25:44 PM | The way you cope with a love one who has expired is, to realize that we are in the land of the dying and they are in the land of the living.
Pleiku | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:24:50 PM | I'm reading all these words and each one brings back the horrible memory I had almost 8 years ago. My live-in boyfriend and I were eating in a restarant; a booth.
In two booths ahead of us there was a teenager that started choking. The manager quickly rushed over to him and gave him the heimlick. I then said to my boyfriend we should learn cpr and life saving procedures. He tilted his head down and at first I thought he was teasing, he did that from time to time. Then my instinct took over and I knew something was wrong. I started screaming and I heard someone say get him on the floor. 911 was called, seemed like hours til they got there. Pronounced him 45 minutes later. 3 time marathon, just finished the NY 2 weeks prior, 50 years old.
Three weeks later, his adopted daughter kicked me and my daughter out. Living moment to moment was all I did. I loved this man more than life itself. Time will heal. I just lost my Dad in April so I'm an orphan and it's a very different feeling I'm experiencing. My siblings and 1 cousin is all I have. Eerie feeling.
I've learned that life can be taken in 5 minutes. I've learned to not sweat the small stuff and to appreciated everything around. I'm trying to get on with my life. I'm here, may not find him but I'm living.
Good luck everyone., | |
|
kgrl08
|
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 211 | |
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:28:46 PM | | I Lost my Mother to pancreatic cancer in January,its been so hard,not a day goes by that I dont miss her,wanna call her,talk to her,she was my bestest friend too,I also had my b/f of 2yrs break up with me at same time,its so hard,I cry everyday... | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:11:16 PM | | I'm also a widow....it will be 5 yrs August 26. My husband was found shot in the back of his head, and they ruled it a suicide. What has kept my sanity is fighting the battle with that County over their lack of investigation. When he was found..my life changed in the blink of an eye...I lost the love of my life..but I also lost my lake home that he got for us, someone stole my wedding rings shortly after his funeral, and then I ended up having to file bankruptcy because of the lake home which alsoo ruined my credit. I've gone through many losses- we lost our son when he was 1 day old, I lost my Mom March 2000, my Father-in-law February 1999, all my Grandparents are gone now losing my Mom's Mom December 2001..but even theough every loss has been horrific..nothing compares to what I've gone through with the loss of my soul mate. We were married 24 yrs. But...I keep my head held high, and my faith in God..and I know one day I will see them all again. I have tried dating..but all I hear is how wrong it is of me to bring anyone into my life with my husband's death the way it was, and there hasn't been closure. I've gone through the grief, gone through all the process..but, the only thing is I do work on my husband's case. I don't need to be slammed by men who can't handle what the past dealt to me. So..even though life can be tough, and your heart feels like it will never mend...believe me when I say it will get easier with time. You will remember the good memorys and what you shared and loved..and the loss won't hurt as much. They will always and forever be in your heart. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:32:25 PM | I have my brother with a brain tumour whos busy having 2nd round of radiation the chemo didnt work had 3 brain ops now there just making him comfy and it hurts watching him get weaker all the time, hes 36yrs old my best friend, i dont hate or blame anyone for his illness but cant accept that im losing him.
 
For Geoff i love you always and forever xxxxx | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:41:25 AM | I've been there as well....it's hard to cope but you learn to accept. Crying helps as well as keeping a journal. If you find after one year you are still having difficulties coping, I would urge you to speak to a grief counsellor.
The healing journey is long and hard but things do get better! | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:40:50 AM | The saying is so true, "your life isn't so bad until you walk into someone elses shoes".
My heart goes out to each and every one of you. I am so sorry to hear of all your losses.
I know the good Lord will let us see our loved ones again, I'm looking forward to it someday. We all have to go on and live our lives today. We can't change the past, we can only remember the wonderful memories and move on. If we don't, our life will be taken someday with a big regret that we didn't live, we emotionally died. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:15:33 AM | I am so sorry ! I lost my husband 21 years ago in a mining accident. he was 34, I was 32. The kids wsere 11 and 13. It was horrible. Not being able to eat, to sleep to do anything with joy, I felt so empty. But carried on for the children. One thing I did do besides cry in private, was start a journal. In it I wrote letters to him when I was feeling my worst, and also dreams Ihad of him. It took a long long time before I could talk about him, without breaking down. I never expected to be a widow this long.
Let the tears come. There is no time limit for grief, and don't let anyone tell you different. Join a support group, because they also wear your shoes. Time does make it easier, that is the honest truth, but that depends on you and you alone. The holidays will be terrible, for you and your children, and it will be hard to fill that void.
And he does want you to go on living, and so you will. Just don;t push it on yourself.
Take advantage of your friends and family. some days will feel like it's been centuries, other's like it's only been minutes. Take one day at a time, and you will get there. We all do. It took me 14 years to start dating , but my one pet peeve was and I'm sure your going to hear this to. " don't worry, you have the rest of your life ahead of you". Please don't think ill of these people. They don't know what to say at this moment in time. Until they wear your shoes they will never understand that pain.
Our prayers are with you, and reach out to those around that can help. You are not a burden to them, don't think that. Keep busy as well, the nights are the worst, light a candle to him and talk to him in the privacy on your own home. then you will probably be able to sleep. Trust me, down the road you will shed tears of laughter whenever you recall something that he did , funny or stupid. That day will come, be patient, and be yourself. One day at a time.
Brenda | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:25:05 AM | I wasn't a big holiday person my brother was. Even when he was poor he and living with my niece he still managed to gather up a little money and buy Christmas presents from the bargain bins. I still have the Jimi Hendrix cd he bought me.
Is it just me or do the holidays suck now? | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:02:01 AM | | I read the forums daily.. but have never read this one until right now. I'm believing that God has sent me to read all the posts on this subject. I had tragedy this past January.. loosing my mother 1/25/08 and my boyfriend of three years on 1/27/08.. yes two days apart. I never ever want to go through such an emotional week as I did that week. I miss them both greatly.. I am a Christian and feel that I've handled all this pretty darn good. What I do want to say is THANK YOU for sharing all your losses with us. Its good to talk about it and its been really good for me to read all that you have shared with us. My two cents is that God gives us only what we can handle.. but yet we need to believe that it is not us really handling it.. It is GOD..My faith has gotten me through my losses and although its been alittle hard dealing with.. I still wake up every morning and thank God for what I have and believe that God has a plan for me. People.. life is good and we need to thank the good Lord for every moment of our life here on earth. If I could personally hug each and everyone of you that has went through great losses.. I would.. but since that is impossible.. HUGs to you all and God Bless you in every way..joan | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:59:08 PM | How do you get passed the death of a loved one? Well for me it wasn't easy to do when you fine that true someone and marry. Than find out after four years she is dieing. a short lived zlove life. We had it all the good with the bad times. Buut How I live with myself now being alone is By putting God in my life. Jesus Christ died so we could live again in Heaven. So If you just have Faith and believe in that than some day we all will see that person in Heaven. But How do we get past the being all alone, let me just tell you it isn't easy at all. I just know we have too live and keep going even if the person that was here we miss Like hell. Only with God can we get past all the past and the lost of a loved one. Keep Looking up and just remeber the good times you did have and keep you head high. God Bless Ya!
Take It one day at a time as I do. Kindguy8 | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:20:26 AM | Dear OP,
First off I am so sorry for your loss. I have just experienced this type of loss my self at the end of May. People say things will get easier with time but I am finding just the opposite to be true. Instead of healing the tears come everyday and each day without him I miss him more.
You asked how to stop the tears. For myself, I have started to keep a journal. A journal of memories of him. When something comes to mind I go to my computer and write it down. This has helped some.
I still have his clothes hanging in my closet and in our dresser. I have started, very slowly to remove some of his things and give them away. I haven't dated as of yet but I do find correspondance with others to be comforting. Give yourself time to grieve. That is what everyone tells me. Remember the good times and cherish each moment that you were able to spend with your loved one. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:11:31 AM | One must acquaint oneself with loss. This will take time.
When you hear the front door opening, and realise it is not him, you will break down.
Remeber that emotion is what separates us from animals, and is to be rejoiced.
All this is vanity, and a chasing after the wind. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:28:44 PM | i wish i knew. Rejoice in the good memories, and dedicate everything you do to them.
i lost my beloved to diabetic ketoacidosis, 2 weeks after he went into diabetic ketosis he died, i went from being a madly in love very lucky woman to a baffled lonely widow in those 2 weeks,
message me 2 talk:)  | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:44:13 PM | | i lost my fiance a few years ago. time heals things, dont rush into anything right away because nothing can replace what youve lost at this point. if you really loved this person they will always be alive in your thoughts and your heart. you do have to move on and you will. its ok to grieve. connect yourself with your family and closest friends and slowly things will get better. good luck to you. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:22:52 PM | | i lost my partner of 10 years in march this year so the grief is still so raw with me.i think about her every day of the week and all the good times we had together.i went through a period where im very,very lucky to still be alive.the one thing that keeps me going through the lonliness(and i urge everybody who has lost a loved one to do this)get closer to your family and friends you will find there the people you need most. | |
|
| Losing a loved one to death
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:07:29 PM | | I lost the love of my life that I met on P.O.F. and the love he gave me was such a gift, that it brings me tears of joy. We were planning to get married when he became ill and passed away. I am writing a book about "our story", which will be a permanent memorial to and for our love and I am learning to play his guitar that he left me. While I have sad moments, the joyous moments we shared will be with me forever! I hope you find some peace and hold onto the loving memories you shared with your loved one. | |
|
Home
login 
