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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:05:03 AM |
Picture a world where we are all blind until one year after finding our true soul mate.
I think when some of us saw who showed up for a first meeting compared to the picture posted, we wish we were blind. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:30:29 AM | Until we as a people can find love without looking so much on the outside, and look a little closer at what is on he inside and what beautiful people we all are in our own way, then collectively, we are all truly in darkness.
Aww,,,,,,,,,,BOB..................did you wake up this morning and fall on your 'twirly' cap and get 'CRANKY'?????? (BTW................another great NEW picture)!!
to Randy: WELL - I for one was PLEASED to read the above post! I KNOW you guys have made MANY references to being deceived by the pictures that were posted! THUS far (and I DID say thus far *grin*) it has NOT happened to me.
IS it REALLY as 'epedimic' as some of the posts I read would lead me to believe?
I had a 'fish date' the other night, and I confess when he first saw me and said:
"YOU ought to get some NEW pictures"................my heart kind of 'lurched'!!!  
Fortunately he followed it up with: "Because your pictures do NOT do you justice'!!
THAT was a 'close one'!!!! DO I necessarily believe him??? NAH!! BUT who doesn't like a compliment?? I am definitely susceptible to FLATTERY!!
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 7:47:25 AM | Picture a world where we are all blind until one year after finding our true soul mate. Would we not have found true love while searching only with our hearts and not our eyes? Would we not have found happiness with our minds and not what others that can see perceive to be happiness? Until we as a people can find love without looking so much on the outside, and look a little closer at what is on he inside and what beautiful people we all are in our own way, then collectively, we are all truly in darkness.
RandysKarma: I think that what you said was so beautifully and poetically put.
Kudos to you!!!! You are a very insightful man.
~~Beth~~ | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:18:41 AM | I have heard a lot of horror stories. I refuse to sit here and complain. It's mostly attitude!
Sure, I've had my disappointments, hasn't everyone here?
But the great majority of the women I meet have been nice and fairly truthful in their profiles. Their pictures have been fairly current, as are mine.
After all, it's all about that elusive chemistry. It is either there or it isn't! | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/17/2009 5:27:45 PM | I've judged people before as I walked down the street. But, you want to know the truth? It gets you nothing. You judge because you're scared to explore inside someone else, then you try to rationalize it(eg "she's ****y" "he dresses ugly"). Ultimately, you look back and miss out on what could have been a great person. I look back and think how many potential friends and relationships I missed out, and I KNOW people do too.
Remember, this world is all about chance and opportunity. Just keep looking. There's more good than you realize. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/18/2009 10:39:51 AM | This is a great question for a forum
The harsh reality is that this issue is not gender specific. For many people it is totally a visual world and ' looks' or " the look ".
Some people just don't know how to take a compliment and return a simple humble and unpretentious ' Thank You'. Even polite rejection hurts, but it is easier to get over. If you have ever been in sales and customer service, one of the things you learn is that not all people are rude or hurtful. The other thing you come to learn is that some people don't know any other way. It is a lousy defense mechanism. But......
( there is always a but or a butt head ) Finding out that a person is rude, impolite, ill-manered or just mad at life, is doing you a favor.
The old cliche is " Forgive and Forget " , too simple. If I forget the way someone has treated me I leave myself open for it to happen again. Can't forget, don't want to.
I will however forgive. Took me a long time to understand that anger and animosity you carry is like a cancer. Those feelings are negative and will drain you, eat you away from the inside. Something else about forgiving. When you can forgive from the inside outward, it becomes a little easier to be forgiven from the outside inward.
I've had my share of forgiving, there is a sense of peace in soul that comes with that.
I've had my share of being forgiven, there is a peace of mind that comes in forgiveness.
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/23/2009 3:18:28 PM | To StormMike, yeah you're right, it is a great question. I think an even better question would be "why are people so rude to each other, judging them by looks alone?".
There's a lot of that here where I live, here in Miami Beach, FL. Well, the shallowness is really only in certain places and social circles, there are decent people here, though. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:47:54 AM | Judging someone by looks alone is shallow and juvenile. But I can understand how people mislead others by inserting 5-10 year old pictures of themselves, so when you actually meet there is a discrepancy in looks.
If you are old enough to remember what dating was before the internet, if you were considered non-dateable or a psycho, you probably had to go over a couple of towns just to find a date, but now with the birth of the Internet, The Gates of Hell have been sprung open once again. Where every woman is a playmate and every guy GQ, which we all know is not true. The two biggest lies told on any dating site are Age and Weight.
Age being, some women unlike some men are eternally the same age year after year. And when it comes to weight, Average can be deceiving. If we go according to what government standards used to be is for a woman five foot tall they should weigh 100 pounds and five pounds for every inch over five foot, and for the men 106 pounds for five foot and six pounds for every inch over that. I blame the medical community for extending that weight barrier to where it is currently. Probably due to the obesity problem in America the standards have been raised to where what used to be fifty pounds overweight is now average. I wish that a better way of describing ones weight could be derived.
Like they say “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder” and nothing you can say or do will deter from that. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:52:44 PM |
udging someone by looks alone is shallow and juvenile. But I can understand how people mislead others by inserting 5-10 year old pictures of themselves, so when you actually meet there is a discrepancy in looks.
My pics are a few months old. So I'm going to be posting some newer pics soon.
The two biggest lies told on any dating site are Age and Weight.
My weight according to old government standards is average.
Try height when it comes to men. I never knew that 6' was so many different measurements. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/25/2009 3:23:28 AM | | yeah, i get the same thing all the time. Just today i had a guy in " well i'm sure i know more then you" into his response.... yeah most of the guys on here are jerks. and with the picture thing, ive met so many guys that looked nothing like their picture, so they are dumb ass hell to judge someone completely on a photo. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/25/2009 6:14:56 AM | You women have to realize that your fellow sisters are the one's who have
made these men this way!! They can be one ugly s.o.b. yet if they have money
and a nice home the'll have a barbie doll on there arm, and it's starts as soon
as young women start dating the guy with he nice clothes and hot car always
gets the hottest girl!! Now i'm not bashing you ladys but it's the way your wired
and it comes from generations of women( I.E. the best hunter, gatherer,strongest)
So these men even if it seems infintile when they come into there own and even
moderatly whealthy our even middle income believe they deserve the barbie doll
And speaking from my own past if they only knew that the perfect face and body
come's with a very heavy price!! Now i don't condone the way some men act i
do understand it!! Hope you lady's don't flame me to hard for my opinion
Seeyaa!! Dan | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2009 12:10:34 PM | | Take the normal looking guy, with the normal house, normal car, normal lifestyle. Women look at him as if he's nothing, you want something better. You want the David Beckhams, or Alex Rodrigues's of the world. Not willing to realize that those kinds of guys care nothing about you and that normal guy would treat you as if you were a mint condition 396 cu in (6.5 L) , 1967 Chevorlet Camaro. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:00:30 AM | I have been thinking about this question for a while. I am going to take the gender generalization out of it, and since I am afterall a woman and answer for myself.
I don't know that judge is the correct term. I don't judge a person. I evaluate. I am not finding fault with the man I am looking at in terms of his appearance per say in as much as I am finding he wouldn't match up with me as an individual. We like what we like. Period. This is life. It applies in so many areas.
Five people interview for a job. Nothing is wrong with any of them. They all have wonderful credentials, are dressed appropriately, seem hard-working, etc. The person doing the interviewing is still going to pick the person they feel is best for the job. Different interviewers may pick different applicants.
Same with men and women. We are going to pick who we feel is best for us. The man that I have no interest in may be first on my friend's list. I know that I am visual. So what? Why would I waste the time of a man that I am not attracted to? I don't want someone wasting my time if they are not interested in me. I have never come across someone who was rude in regards to appearance. I am sure it happens. My question is - why would a person want anything to do with a person who was rude for such a reason in the first place? That person certainly doesn't seem like someone I would want to interact with. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:18:18 AM | I have to say that this is the most accurate and well thought out answer I have seen on any forum in a long time. It was not bias or derogatory to either gender in any way. It was just an accurate statement of the facts. Everyone has different tastes and we cannot change that. I love Chocolate, but my ex-wife hated it. You can't change that, it just is what it is.
As for attraction and evaluation; I always say it is the outer beauty that grabs the attention, but it is a person's inner beauty that will capture the heart.
One more fact to keep in mind; most men and some women are very visually stimulated. So looks are as important as personality. Again, it is what it is, we are all different. That's why we are here, chat, make a new friend, and maybe even find that person that captures our heart.
Best of luck to all of the fish in this giant pond | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 5/7/2009 3:24:06 PM | | A wise saying ,doesnt hurt to want, but it hurts to need, men throughout time have always wanted what they desired not what they needed, in this day and time we have placed ourselves in the disposal of feelings, just because your sitting behind a screen doesnt mean your words or actions cannot do harm, i always say this ,it is not the vase that holds the flower, but the flower itself which gives the vase beauty | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:45:20 PM | | After reading the original post in this thread. I can say I agree and I sympathize but it isn't just guys that are rude. There are some women that can be viciously rude. I think it illustrates a larger problem with society in general these days. Rudeness has become tolerated in our society. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:22:51 AM | This seems to be a recurrent statement for me .
Problem Not Gender Specific
SOME Females are just as bad as SOME males ! Another part of the problem is lack of social skills and a degree of tactful diplomacy.
This problem is greatly created by the very technology we are using to voice our thoughts. It is too dam easy to, IMHO, say things to people without engaging in a little compassion. People don't seem to mind being rude in their comments, but heaven forbid someone should be rude to them.
So, let me say this a different way. The problem is not ' gender specific ', it is part of the 'human' condition'.
.. ... | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/2/2009 7:18:41 AM | I've had my share of women write to me. Many that I did not think were attractive. The last thing I'd ever tell a woman is that she did not meet my requirements in th physical looks category. I'd always respond with a note saying something like, " Thanks for your interest, However I do not see us as a match. I wish you luck and love in your search. To tell anyone that they are not attractive is just cruel or a a minimum tacky .
I met a woman that wrote to me first. We talked on the phone over the course of a week. Met on a Friday night and planned a date for the next night. Odd that it was to go to the first POF party I ever attended. Took her home met her dogs and have multiple scratches from that. lol
I asked her if she wanted to see me again. She said, "of course". Then yesterday, I come home from work to a note written to me on here saying that I'm a great guy and I ma what she is looking for in the way of a man, but it wasn't there for her physically and that she hoped we could still be friends. WTF!
I do have a normal male ego, and she bruised it. with that. In essence, she was not attracted to me physically. OK, I'm not attractive to many, but know I am to some. But damn, did I want to hear it that way? The odd thing is, it effected me and I was not sure I even wanted to get to involved with her since I did see some red flags in just one date. Like having 5 dogs instead of 2. Hey, I love dogs, but there is a limit! lol Getting really drunk and then loud and using language that I do not like to hear from a lady. Loud enough that others around us in the restuarant could hear.
But I figured I'd see her again and see where it might go. See if the drinking is a regular thing or just happened that night. Give it a chance so to speak. But still, it hurt to hear it that way.
There is afine line between being honest and being hurtful. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:37:18 PM | OK, we all eat cookies (down girls, not that Cookie this time) right?
When you walk down the isle at the grocery store do you want, like or eat every kind of cookie on the isle? Of course not.
It's no different with people, we all like a different kind of cookie and there is no shame or no pain in being honest enough to tell someone that you are looking for a different kind of cookie.
I would rather someone be honest with me than to lie to me and it doesnt hurt my ego one bit for a woman to tell me she's not attracted to me. So what. 90% of all women who see you are not attracted to you and 8% of the remaining could take you or leave you... its one of the 2% that you want anyway.
Besides, there is no greater act of love than to be truthful. Now being truthful AND tactful is prefered and those who cant be tactful in rejecting you tell you that you're not a good match just because of how they communicate.
The bigger question is this: Why do people always have to internalize an external statement? | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:51:20 PM | The bigger question is this: Why do people always have to internalize an external statement?
Wow, I never looked at it that way. Ya mean that oatmeal raisin cookies may dislike ME as much as I dislike them.
Oh, crap! Clean up on aisle 4!!! | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:25:51 PM | Wow, I never looked at it that way. Ya mean that oatmeal raisin cookies may dislike ME as much as I dislike them.
Oh, crap!
Well crap!!!....I HOPE the Biscotti cookies love me as much as I love them, I mean after the time and love I put into eating them!!!!.... ooooopppss Am I internalizing an external statement on the wrong thread?
On a more serious note, I agree Easy. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/17/2009 1:06:57 PM | | I was thinking about that very issue earlier, perhaps I was under the impression that I was the judge the photo for its overall attributes. Without regards to whether I was interested in them. There are many reasons people disort the ratings...none of which I think are valid, if they cant be objective they should just skip that photo as opposed to rating poorly. And whats up with guys who alwayys rate other guys at 1....I've never seen any photo that I felt worthy of a 1 rating....guy or girl. I have 2 #1 ratings every photo I post, ...I'm not gorgeous but far from hideous. | |
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