| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:03:28 PM | Well I have had better luck in Court than in the love and relationship game! And that is exactly how many people treat it - as a game. That is the first of many problems/issues people need to get over. It's not "Oh I'll get you before you get me" or " I dont know you, but I know I'm better than you" or my favorite one 'Oh I am better looking tahn you so I dont want to be seen talking to a troll like you" That is all crap.
The problem is people fear change and or things they do not know about. So instead of getting to know someone, they act like asses! I have met so many women that even though we never hit it off romatically, we still gained a friendship, and as most of you know, most friendships outlast most dating relationships!
So quit being so close minded people! Can't we all just get along? | |
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Ronjie
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 127 | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/24/2007 6:42:24 PM | There was an interesting study published by Helen Fisher, PhD, who studied hundreds of couples in love over many years. In one that she mentioned to a group of peers during a conference, she described the parts of the brain that are affected when in love. They are different for a man versus a woman.
The part of the man's brain that is stimulated in romantic love is his visual center. A man loves with his eyes. I don't think this means that a person needs to be movie star beautiful - because look at the luck of Anna Nicole Smith. Rather, I think that each man has his own personal taste for what he likes. When you look at couples, they often look similar and often times a man will pick someone based on his own taste - this is nothing personal.
The interesting part is that the part of a woman's brain that loves, according to Dr. Fisher, is the memory center. We remember everything he said and did - and that is what enables us to love and be in love. I am sure that most men will agree with this - "she remembers EVERYTHING - every little detail."
I hope I am explaining it right - you can read more of her stuff at helenfisher.com
I find that not everyone is going to be attracted to me or you or whoever. You just have to have patience and faith - represent yourself accurately with pictures. Do all you can to improve your appearance because it is important. And then wait for the right one who is into you.
With regards to sex, it is well known that men have a physical need for sex. And it is quite easy to tell if a man has a sexual interest or romantic interest. I think that is why God gave us a delete key! I know I am not into the dodos who like to put up pix of them in bed, in a jacuzzi or in their underpants.
It is a shame that you had to have such a bad experience. I agree that he didn't need to be so rude. I hope my post helps. I have spent quite a bit of time as a community leader for one of the major relationship boards. | |
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Ronjie
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 129 | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 12:51:05 AM | you should know by now that there are an awful lot of ignorant people out there and you sould let those remarks roll off your shoulders and forget about them.
Also, it is well known that women are emotionally attracted as well as looks to men at first, but men are physically attractive to women first | |
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kc259
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Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 131 | |
| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 6:09:31 AM | when looks are gone...what do you have...NOTHING.....what about getting to know someone for who they are.....finding a lifetime friend, who can be so much more. There is always going to be someone better looking or prettier around the corner....people need to find happiness and beauty within.
Furthermore, most of the men...who are looking for looks etc....are fat (or overweight and no round is not a shape)....bald.....and no ambition or drive. They want it "all" but do nothing for themselves.
So anyone who judges by looks is very shallow.....they are looking for one thing only and that is a sexual relationship.....they probably dont need to be on this site... | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 6:30:30 AM | | unfortunately people will be people ......in all walks of life...there are shallow rude people and the more sad thing is that when u judge a book by its cover..u are really depriving yourself of making what could be a true life long friend even when there is no attraction. I find that honesty goes a long way.....The cover of the book can soooo inviting..so appealing...but once you start to read through the chapters.....and really see into the contents of it....u find the book AINT ALL THAT!! sorta like seeing a really WOW profile......words are cheap and easy to come by as looks are only surface and eventually fade......and then whats left?? And after reading the messages on this forum...while i hear ya ladies....its true...women are guilty of it too. I guess being honest but doing in politely is ones integrity....and not all people possess that. Have a great day. :) | |
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Ronjie
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 133 | |
| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:51:40 AM |
when looks are gone...what do you have...NOTHING.....what about getting to know someone for who they are.....finding a lifetime friend, who can be so much more. There is always going to be someone better looking or prettier around the corner....people need to find happiness and beauty within.
Valid point, to be sure... but what is the INITIAL ATTRACTION?
Furthermore, most of the men...who are looking for looks etc....are fat (or overweight and no round is not a shape)....bald.....and no ambition or drive. They want it "all" but do nothing for themselves.
Ya know... the women aren't very far behind.... what about the short, squat "BBW"'s that want the 6.x' guys with the "washboard abs" ? There's a difference here???? | |
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Ronjie
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 134 | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 9:52:16 AM | Well in what I've dealt with when it comes to contacting people on here I am shot down before I even get a word in most of the time. I send of my message more or less saying "hi, my name is ____..." tell them a little bit about myself. Well reading their profile I'm like exactly what the girl says she wants, I presonaly feel confident in my appearance but the girl doesn't even say "sorry..." just DELETED. Honestly it's really nice and helpful if a woman who isn't interested just mails ya back and says why, not like a long written out thing, but just a nice little message like.
"You seem to be a decent guy, but I'm sorry you're just a little to young in my opinion"
or
"You seem like a decent person but you seem too sensitive for my taste"
Stuff like that. It's nice to know the girl saw more then the picture or actualy even gave it a thought. Plus, it's nice to know what others impressions are of you. For example I got a message or two from girls who had NO CHEATERS, PLAYERS, ETC I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE SO GO DIE IN A FIRE..... on their profile which I messaged the girl back and said you know "I'm sorry but I'm a bit timid to meet up and try and start anything. The way your post reads it makes me feel like you've got some drama to deal with and that you'll pass judgement on me as being guilty when I'm completely innocent because of past experiences and right now in my life the last thing I need is to get close to someone and be accused of cheating if I hang out with an old female friend without you around at the time. Nothing personal but your profile puts out bad vibes."
The girl thanked me and explained she had een hurt but she was very much open and not very judgemental, but she understood my point and later I saw she had redone her profile to be alot more tasteful in saying "I'm not interested in an intimate encounter, so please if you aren't serious don't waste my time" Which was a much less Emo way of saying the same thing.
But yeah... responce helps you understand where everyone stands and understand how you look to people. Without the judgements of the picture. I will confess though I do judge on pictures to a degree... I'm not terrible the only people I rule out on the picture is women who appear fat to the point it's simply not healthy. To me that shows me she doesn't take care of herself which I find very unatractive. Otherwise got a mole, or a big nose, or a lazy eye no problem. My last girl friend had an EXTEREMELY lazy eye and I won't lie it stuck out pretty bad, but it really didn't bother me. Good personaly > lazy eye. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 12:57:24 PM | | I'm baaaaaack. had to respond to message 131. excuse me miss. you state that people are shallow if judging others by looks, yet you have no problem basically condeming a guy if he's bald. I'M BALD and i'm a damn nice guy. a shallow person would never find that out about me. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 1:19:10 PM | Oh pleeze!! Give me a break. You think women are any different these days?? Trust me. Women can be downright CRUEL when approached by a guy who they find unnattractive. I have been laughed at, ignored, eye rolled, and falsely accused of harrassment simply because I lack a handsome face. Even on this site. I am not on much, but I have written a few ladies on this site. No, not hot 20 somethings. I am talking women who live near me and who are near my age. Now one of them ever responded. I was polite, cool, simple. Nothing crude. Nothing rude. Why did they not give me the courtesy of a response? If not looks, what else could it have been.
Take it from a man who has experienced the other side of the coin. Women are JUST as looks oriented, and can be TWICE as mean. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:20:33 PM | It goes both ways, women can be just as shallow as men.
I did see this profile on another site that annoyed me the other day. We seemed to have alot in common, but when I looked at the body type the person was interested in, it said *toned, athletic*, and under his body type? * a few extra pounds* I don't get how someone who's not in good shape would only want to date people who apparently either take really good care of themselves or are blessed with good genes. I'm aware of the fact that I am a few pounds overweight, and I need to work at that (which I am now, yay me!) I wouldn't be so shallow as to only limit my interests to people who are in shape, I just think it seems hypocritical. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:52:03 PM | | Women can be just as shallow as men. Women profiles have them wanting tall men with washboard abs. There is a thread on this board on men's abs. One woman emailed me that she couldn't date me because I was a Republican. LOL. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:05:14 AM | | I believe that people on these dating sites are mostly honest. But I agree --most men are preoccupied with a woman's looks and can't look beyond that to get to know the person. Most of us women are not glamorous-just regular people. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:07:54 AM | Don't let one (or two) bad apple(s) spoil the whole barrel . . . I apologize for the creep's behavior to you . . . a very beautiful lady.
Unfortunately, though, I've found that most WOMEN seem to judge guys in much the same manner. They don't seem to care about what's inside a man's heart . . . only what's on the outside, in his pants or in his back pocket.
Fortunately there are the few men and women among us who value the inside of a person . . . and it is THEY who, when they finally connect with their soulmate, will become forever happy and contented with, and within, themselves. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:47:56 AM | | because men are visual more than emotional.its primortial a throw back from when we were cave men. The natural selective process for men to choose a mate with large gajongas insured more fertility n serviveability for there offspring. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:48:11 AM | | because men are visual more than emotional.its primortial a throw back from when we were cave men. The natural selective process for men to choose a mate with large gajongas insured more fertility n serviveability for there offspring. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:48:14 AM | MEN are visual. If he's not attracted......nothing else is going to happen, unless he is looking for friends? Polite and honest don't always run hand in hand. At least he responded! The man answered honestly and said he wasn't attracted back. He was direct and to the point without any sugar coated politeness. There was no flirting, no leading anyone on. It was said and done. Move on. Maybe that IS how he likes to be treated. Straight up.........
Preferences go way beyond slim and cute. What about style, mannerism, coloration, the way the mouth is, or the eyes look, on and on? Who knows what he is looking for?
It sounds more like a matter of a bruised ego, when there is no reason for one. I would be more concerned with the compatibility issue. You might be too sensitive for that type of man......and your feelings would constantly be in a state of disappointment and pain. | |
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Ronjie
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 146 | |
| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:55:31 AM |
Hey Juanchito,
At least your getting e-mail. I can't even get any females on this site to e-mail me. I didn't realize I was that much of a troll.
Hey hoboken,
I don't know who's got it better... you with no emails? or me that I can catch a couple of emails... and then when the woman realizes that i don't have what she wants, just ignores me.... no " hey, i don't think this is going to work " ... just doesn't respond.... | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:33:13 PM | | I have talked with a very few ladies who had class enough to respond to my letters, and even a couple who wrote me first. I have not shot down ANY of them due to looks, period. I even took the paragraph that referred to heavy women not being my type out of my profile, after I thought about it. True, I'm not SEXUALLY attracted to extremely overweight women, but that certainly doesn't mean I won't have anything to do with them. Now smokers, on the other hand...ewwww. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:44:44 AM | | There is a differance between being judgmental and knowing what is attractive to you. It's not a fine line, but still one that is easy to cross. There are laws of nature involved as well. Let's not, however assume that MOST men judge solely on looks. Most men do not, some do. Also, do not forget that some women still judge men by their bank statement! See the pattern? The Rich guys get to choose from the Pretty women! That is the law of nature I mentioned. Isn't it ironic that the more successful,and physically fit amongst us may, perhaps, be the less evolved amongst us as well? Just a thought! | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/6/2007 5:20:46 PM | | I disagree with you. Why do you think anyone has to do something "wrong" in order to be divorced? What you wrote is complete unsophisticated. I relocated 12x for my exhusband's career and lived two of those years in a dangerous, overseas country. Never lived near my parents becauase his career always took us somewhere else. I raised our two sons alone for the most part since he was so busy working or golfing. While he used to take a nap I would wash and wax his car and my car. I was perfect. I was sickeningly perfect and won't ever be that way again. Your immature comment that people did something wrong in order to garner a divorce is completely juvenile in outlook and approach. You must not have lived a very big life to come up with that conclusion. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/6/2007 5:25:59 PM | | Yes, men are visual. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with a woman being visual either. However, there is such a thing as having some class, polish, and manners. I would NEVER hurt a man's feelings because he did not measure up to my riduculous standards. I have been around enough to know by now that looks don't mean much. They MIGHT get us into the door but after that we need to have common ground. If a man is looking for a cigarette smoker or drinking buddy, he will pass on me. If a man is looking for a hunting or fishing buddy, he will pass on me. I am a "nice" woman, educated, like to think I'm not too ugly, but so what? It does not matter what I think of myself as long as I behave decently and have manners, nothing else matters. My job in life is not to appeal to every man out there nor does every man need to appeal to me. I have plenty of self-confidence and spend a lot of time at home, alone, since I can no longer take the men around. They are just not for me so I am happier to stay home and read the works of Emily****nson which I do. | |
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