| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/7/2007 8:03:14 AM | This discussion has gone on for a long time and I am sure it will go on for a lot longer. People, not men or women, but people can be insensitive, rude, shallow, immature, heck, the list can go on for ever. If someone treats you poorly then shame on them, but don't dwell on it, move on. They are obviously no good for you anyway. I meet rude and nasty people on the street all the time and I either ignore them or if the situation is right I will let them know that they are not very nice people ( not the recommended approach by the way ) but I walk away knowing that it was their problem not mine that they are so miserable.Many people choose this medium because it is anonymous and with that in mind the also loose their manners, if they had any to begin with. and come on, we all know that some people are just excretory orifices ( lets see them censor that one ) no matter where they are.
So anyway, all I am trying to say is please don't bash all men here because you encountered a few not so nice ones. I have had the displeasure of meeting some women that were not very nice at all, and I still like women | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/10/2007 7:51:26 AM | | Simply put, attraction is attraction. Either you are attractive to someone or you are not. Looks is not the end all be all: Passion, Intelligence, Sense of Humor, Compassion. There are many things that make people attractive other than looks. But many time when you have a forum like this where pictures become important and people are not good at expressing themselves well in words, well, looks may be what guys go by. Now, you also have people who are ashamed of how they look which tells me they have a self-esteem issue (i.e. when someone is heavy set or out of shape and they only share a headshot picture or no picture at all). I don't believe there is any room for people to be rude. Unfortunately, people are people and many can be rude and inconsiderate. Women will do the same thing. So, it is not just men. What bothers me more is that people who you match with don't even respond back to your messages. OK ladies, I understand that you may be so popular that you get 100 messages /day. I also understand that you may be getting "creepy' messages from guys as well. The reality is that if you just delete them all, you may have just deleted the "Love of a Lifetime." You also get tagged as being "rude and inconsiderate" when you "read delete or unread delete." It may be a challenge (but not difficult) to copy and paste a response back, but more important, you get an opportunity to read the message and see if that person might be a "diamond." | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:15:13 AM | There are so many  in this sea that if I get one of those rude replies I just throw that blowfish back in the water where it can sink to the bottom and devour more sludge from the bottom where it must dwell. With anyone with a 'bad attitude' I let it go... not worth my second thought. People can be congenial and go on instead of being rude. So what if I don't initially fit the vision in your head??? I know and am confident that I will have a better day because I am going to continue to let the more important aspects of me continue to shine!
It is more likely to find many of good friends on here than an actual life long partner so I keep that in mind. You can never have too many friends!
Happy 
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:07:10 PM | I think you may have been a little upset while posting this question.
The real question is WHO Cares, Do you care now after all this time about what he said?
Why give someone that much energy?
Let it go its in the past , as soon as you read it its in the past.
Men are not the only rude humans in the world. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 8/9/2007 9:57:12 PM | | You position is very true but I've found that there are just as many rude women on these dating sites also. Why bother if you can’t be at least civil if not honest to everyone. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 8/10/2007 7:35:07 AM | women don't judge MEN by their looks ?? every woman I've ever know likes to shop.. and that's exactly what you do here...window shop!! and yep us men do it too..
little thing called human nature.... | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:02:53 AM | toby06, perhaps you have confused height requirements with GQ requirements. They are vastly different. I am only 5'3" but I wear high heels often and I like a guy I'm with to be taller than me, even with my heels. Just like some tall guys like short girls, there are short girls who like tall guys. For me, it's that comfort/protective feeling that I get when he puts his arms around me...I could just crawl into his lap! lol But that is completely different from everything else.
I'm not saying that personality is everything either. I completely believe that physical chemistry plays an initial part in the attraction equation. However, if you look like GQ but act like AH, then it doesn't matter how good looking you are. Beauty/attractiveness is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. I can firmly state that men I have found attractive would not be found attractive by other women, but then the same goes for guys finding me attractive, or not.
And these dating sites can truly take their toll on our egos. I haven't figured out the key to getting nice guys to respond to my profile. And I don't consider myself fish bait! lol | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 8/18/2007 10:03:21 AM | I see the word attractive in womens profiles, both in their self desciption and in what they are looking for. So it's not just men judging women by their looks.
It would be naive to think we totally ignore the outward appearance. I would venture to say that Quasimoto would find very few interested ladies on POF.
A lot of people see partners the same as they see posessions. And who wants an ugly picture above the mantel!! Of couse art is in the eyes of the beholder. JUST AN OPINION | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:54:04 AM | wittywoman:
i think we ALL judge others by how they look to some degree... i know i've personally run into it quite a bit... it's just that SOME people are rude in the way the express it....
mikey | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/25/2007 1:48:21 PM | When will people quit generalizing!! "men" are not rude.....some men are
 Please learn to handle each one as an individual. I am not saying, even, that I am a nice guy. But if not, then "I" am rude. not "men". Just as some women are downright insensitive...but not "women". I have only been back on POF for a few days, and have already been insulted by one woman...but I am not judging "women" by her comment!! SHEEEEESH...............................JMO | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:28:25 PM | | I think it is people in general who are rude and judge others based on appearance. Not all of us are like this but I dont like to say its all men or all women...some people are just cruel and shallow | |
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imkeys
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Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 163 | |
| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:03:47 PM | | What's amazing to me is the "no responses" from women who say they want a nice guy and looks aren't important. I think that's rarely true. Better to say they want a nice guy who is thin and has a full head of hair, tall too, lol. I have sent some comments about a profile to someone that I really wasn't interested in only to be put down like I was a warty toad trying to talk to a princess. I'm glad they had self esteem, misguided as it was. Apparently you can only talk to people who find you attractive on here. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:45:32 AM | The anonymity of the internet obviously encourages people to say what they really think. I think that is a good thing. Would you rather have someone be rude up front, or lie to you and use you before you realize what they really think of you. Normally complaints like this are really that you don't like the rejection that you receive. Luckily most of the reasons that people judge you superficially can be changed. If you are overweight, you can diet. If you look bad in a photo, you can usually change your clothes put on some makeup and change the lighting and there will be a 100% differernt.
We all judge based on looks. Most people don't want to find a new person to sit on the couch with and eat junk food. When someone is completely out of shape it implies a sedentary, or at least not very active, lifestyle. Personally, I would much prefer someone be candid. I have, in my life, varied in attractiveness, and understand the difference in the way people treat you. It truely is much harder for less attractive people to gain anything. This doesn't only apply to dating but working and any place that someone else may have some control over your destiny.
An interesting component of the way you are treated because of looks is the way that your actions are percieved. An attractive person is considered confident. An unattractive person is considered an ass or****. An attractive person may be percieved as flirty or friendly where an unattractive person is percieved as creepy. It really is interesting how much our judgement of looks affects the way we perceive each other.
So, my advice is, if you are fat and people think you are an ass, don't change who you are, hit the gym. You will see how you are really just "confident". If you are "creepy", hit the treadmill and you will become "sweet" or "flirty".
If someone is rude to you, just thank them for letting you know they were not a person you would have been interested in. You could have wasted a bunch of time, if they would have hidden what they really thought. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:21:16 AM | Since when did average become a few pounds overweight and a few pounds overweight become obese!!!!
If you can't be honest with yourself when you fill out your profile the I'm not surprised that some people are rude. It's truth in advertising, Baby!!! | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:59:26 AM | (Sorry I haven't figured out how to quote just part of a post)
" Such above average men in height (and looks) are in high demand and (no pun intended) short in supply. They rarely, if ever, need dating services. "
May I laugh out loud now? I'm 6'2" and have the same problems dating as shorter guys! Height is not an automatic "babe magnet".
My second smile comes from the O.P. who thinks that men are judgemental, and are only interested in looks. I've found many women to be quite critical and superficial as well.
At least the guy who caught the interest of the O.P. replied. I've got several dozen "silent rejections" over the years. And, maybe he was a bit rude in the phrasing of his declination, but at least he was honest.
Perhaps both genders could take a class on civility. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:51:22 PM | [I am not a Barbie,]
I interpret "Barbie" as someone that isn't necessary pretty, but fake. So when I say that I'm not a Barbie, I mean that I'm real-not perfect, not trying to be perfect, outdoorsy, know how to work, athletic.
Barbie sits there with too much make-up on and kind of the blonde without too much going on in her head. Am I way off? I better change my profile. lol | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:22:54 PM | This is a hot topic.
There is a reason why I posted no photo. It is my deliberate attempt to attract my man, and have him recognize me by my character, personality and the way I think. Photos can be too distracting.
Once, when I had a photo posted, I wasted a lot of time reading and replying (thanks, but no thanks) to messages from men that were not my type and who contacted me strictly because of my looks. Many never even read my profile!
I go for quality not quantity.
I believe that it takes a special kind of man to read a profile and take a chance based on content not on looks.
As for me, pictures spoil it too. I have to admit that even though I enjoy seeing the pic. of the person, that it distracts me a bit, quite a bit....Besides, most people look better in real life, face to face, animated.
If anything through his photo I am able to tell more about him than some of the bs some of these guys write.
For instance, there are reasons why he choses to post a picture of himself when he was 10 years younger. Is he shirtless? Oh and then the ones with the big fish, or the truck...But the ones I tend to bypass the most (besides the shirtless ones, at least these give me a grin) are the ones with the sunglasses on.
The few men I met whose pics I never saw, never disapointed me in person.
If anything I'd prefer to see them on webcam than in a photo!
Yeah! why are men so rude to women, judging them by their looks when they don't look so hot themselves?
And why don't they respond (most of them!) to our messages even if it is to politely say: sorry you are not my type.
MN | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/11/2009 10:53:24 AM | I believe that it takes a special kind of man to read a profile and take a chance based on content not on looks. Well, they certainly are YOUR beliefs!
And why don't they respond (most of them!) to our messages even if it is to politely say: sorry you are not my type. Because we have all learned through trial and error that the only people who dont post pictures are a) married; B) obese; C) have psychological issues or beliefs that lie so far outside the reality that we deal with that we simply dont want to deal with them. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/11/2009 11:15:13 AM | Special, like sort bus special.....or special, like not a lot of other options special?
I'll talk to anybody, but I have to agree w/ Froggy that EVERY lady who has contacted me w/out apicture as been one of his ABC's. EVERY single one.
With plenty of beautiful VISIBLE women to chat with.....why would I wade into that minefield? | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/12/2009 5:10:21 AM | MN...you are correct on several points (Fla/BC difference being one...I've lived in both). Down here, the odds of coming across a cerebral AND attractive person under the age of 50 who does not post a picture is QUITE rare. Again, it is counterproductive to go searching thru that haystack. There are intelligent women of depth who DO choose to post a picture.
While you are quite correct that physical beauty does not guarantee 'chemistry'.....it most certainly CAN negate it.
There are many things you can gleen from a photo (or rather a few photos):
Orientation of self (are they selling 'sex'....are they posed w/ 'toys'.....are their children in each shot......are they in a small apt w/ 27 cats?)
General level of style/range of interests (are they 'dolled up' in every shot.....or is there a day @ the beach, alongside an equestrian shot....followed by a****ail party....& one of her in the garden?)
Social standing (Most are looking for equals here....it may seem 'classist', but I have no desire to rescue somebody from their life).
Not only do photos hint at apossible level of attraction...they also provide a myriad of clues to assist one in the efficiency of our searches.
The maxim "a picture's worth a thousand words" has a grain of truth in it.......multiply 1000 x the number of women in my age range & I'd be typing til my digits dropped off w/out the benefit of pitures.
I CAN absolutely understand the difference that particular filter would have on the contacts an attractive woman would receive....& certainly don't fault you for your choice. Were I to come across an outstanding written profile that disclosed, UP FRONT, a hint or two towards general physical status.....I would most definately take a chance.
There are virtually ZERO of those in our area.....most are of the "Iffen u wanna no sumptin, just axe!" variety. | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:57:57 AM | Thank you nightwing, I knew I could get an interesting response from you.
It is always good to get the perspectives from the "other side".
I suppose if I were looking more seriously or more intently I would put more details (as you mention) in my profile, and make it more "attractive". But for now I am content with being left alone and just playing in the forums.
In the past whenever I had not a photo posted on my profile, I had some available for those who contacted me or the ones I initiated contact with.
And it worked quite well. I still have one just in case. But for now I am really enjoying the "silence".
Thanks again, I enjoyed your openness!
MN | |
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| why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:34:33 PM | I'll answer that question if you answer mine....Why are people so vain,to the point where they are blinded by the world around them to such a point to where they except blanket statements because of prior bad experiences then rush to the forums to "out" said sex that did them dirty(so to speak)?
Men,women,transsexuals,homosexual,asexual, post op trans, and any other person that can fall victim to shallow nature | |
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