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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/26/2006 2:06:01 PM | I met a man that was 51...never married..just moved out from Mom and Dad...and still a freaking virgin!!! No kidding!!! Talk about never growing up!!! His favourite thing about living on his own was he could get his hair cut the way he wanted and pick his own clothes!!!!! Went back home to use mommy and daddy's computer in the basement!!!! Yikes...I am not cruel but no second date...for sure...what the hell do ya do with a 51 year old virgin!!! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/29/2006 9:57:23 AM | | I LEGGED IT from my parents as soon as I was 18 but completely leaned on my then boyfriend so was no great achievement. Then LEGGED it to University to move out of there... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/29/2006 10:02:31 AM | | That aside. London is the most expensive capital in the world, apart from Japan. People find it increasingly difficult to get on the property ladder and apparently more and more people are living with their parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/29/2006 5:43:55 PM | For those who live at home with your parents. Make sure your helping out around the place and are paying towards your expenses. The idiots of this world fail to realize that each and ever person is in a situation for a reason and should not be judged. Being a adult never said where you are to live. How you are suppose to be living. And what status you should have in life. It is just an age where people are considered fully grown and able to make their own choices. Even if it is to have others to make that choice for them. Some people are afraid to move away from home, putting them out there may be the biggest mistake for them. Some people stay at home because certain situations have come up in life where they can only live at home. Some people stay at home because they don't a want to be alone. Some people live at home because the financial costs is too much or that it is wiser to stay at home and split bills than pay it all. That way, both the individual(s) and their parent(s) can work on their own financial plans with more money than either would have alone. Some are students.
We want to judge people by cultural standards that are so varied and malliable, and that makes those who do, idiots. If it is okay to call ANYONE who lives at home outside their name and treat them less than an human being, then I guess it is okay to talk about the sexual morals of single parents. Or the attutides of people's ethnic upbring. And insult every person who those who drink to get buzzed or drunk. Oh, yeah, let me talk about the smokers too and the drug addicts.
Is it wrong to live at home with your parents? Only the individual can decide that. If they do, then it is them who need to work on that situation. But, if the are satisfied with the situation, stay and ignore those who think they now something about your situation. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/30/2006 12:34:04 PM | Thanks: lonely in Pittsburgh
I completely agree with you Dark_N_Romantic, I have stayed with my parents over xmas and have bent over backwards to help my mother out round the house, and make myself useful.
I think it is a bit wrong that people judge others for something so trival. But guess some just like to belittle others, for what ever reason. My eldest step-sister house hold consists of: Her mother, husband, four children and grandchild, and until recently her great grandmother. I think there is something really nice about an extended family living together, and when you go round, there is always a really nice atmosphere. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/30/2006 1:48:56 PM | Im sorry Darknromantic but my WTF translator just about choked on your last rejoinder?
I guess it is okay to talk about the sexual morals of single parents. Or the attutides of people's ethnic upbring. And insult every person who those who drink to get buzzed or drunk. Oh, yeah, let me talk about the smokers too and the drug addicts.
Ouch, talking about one being Judgmental? what does the aforementioned statement have to do with Living at home?
Second thing Sport, I cannot speak for others but I was refering to is people living at home just to sponge off their parents , the parents are cooking,cleaning,laundry that type of thing, Im not refering to people who are legitimately helping their parents out, so try to understand the situation as you put it before refering to us as IDIOTS
just my 3 cents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/30/2006 3:34:46 PM | I am 38 and still live at home. I have never had one date in my life yet, and I am a virgin. I have never once depended on either of my parents for any financial help. I am fiercely independant. I do everything in this houshold. I buy my mother her grocieries. I figure out her taxes, fix and maintain her house and both of her vehicles. I do all the yard maintenance shovel the driveway when we get snow. I do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. She really doesn't do anything here, except let me do all the work. I took time off of work in 2001 to take care of my dieing father who had emphasyma, and was given "comfort" drugs to ease the discomfort of not being able to breathe. I was the one that found my father dead. I had to pick him up off the floor and put him back in his bed and closed his yellow eyes shut, so my mother and other relatives wouldn't freak out. I bent over and gave him a kiss, and told my mother that dad is gone.... When 9 - 40 foot blue spruce were knocked down from a bad thunderstorm, and power was out for over a week. It was me and my own strength that cleaned everything up. Luckily I had a chainsaw, and I did all the cutting myself in just 3 days. When the roof started to leak, it was me and my own two hands that tore off 2 layers of shingles and I put down a new roof starting out with the best materials that money could buy. Of course I used the ice and water barrier over the entire roof, because tar paper isn't good enough for me. I used architectural shingles. My next task on her home is to rip off all the old masonite siding and install either vinyl or alluminum. My father raised me to be a jack of all trades, which has come in handy working on my mother's home.
Oh ya, I forgot to add that I have had a wonderful life thus far. I have been as far away as Zimbabwe Africa, Port Elizabeth South Africa on two safaris where I took 18 trophies and I have been in Alaska hunting moose, caribou and fishing for salmon and halibut. I have been all over the lower 48, hunting, fishing, site seeing and just traveling. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:06:06 PM | I left home at 19 and live alone but sometimes people have to move back home to take care of family or what not....
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:54:55 PM | Mostly North Americans are ones who criticize others for living at home for so long. People with European, Carribean, Latin, East/West Indian, Asian are more family oriented and so most times you find their kids stay at home longer, even until they get married.
North Americans think being independent is about living on your own and having things, where as it is about being able to take care of yourself and others as well if needed.
I have known those who thought "I have to move out because I whatever age" and they end up asking their parents for financial help. But most times they moved out because others viewed them as this and that.
One of my friends, him and his wife lived in the basement of his parents house until both passed away last year.
Is the same as "I have a car, you should too" comments from people. No idea why so many have to get bashed for living with their parents. One buddy lives with his mom now because he wanted to help her out after his dad passed away. And boy, like me for helping my mom out financially, he got alot of bashing from tons of women. Sad. | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 340 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 4:47:15 AM |
North Americans think being independent is about living on your own and having things, where as it is about being able to take care of yourself and others as well if needed.
Or in cases like mine....I got the "You're going to college, you're going to commute and live at home to save money, you're going to graduduate, get a job and then get the hell out...OR...graduate HS and get the hell out."
There comes a time in life when the momma bird just has to shove the baby bird out of the nest. It's a simple fact of nature.
If you move back home to take care of the parents, that is a completely DIFFERENT story.
I have friends that live with their parents because they CAN'T manage their money on their own so they pack up the kids and move back home. THAT is pathetic. If you have kids, you should stop spending your money so recklessly that you'd lose your house, then get evicted from your apartment. I know of four people I work with (we all make $25 hour with FULL BENEFITS) and they can't 'afford' to live alone. Uh huh....yeah.....whatever. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 8:31:58 AM | If you read the FULL paragraph, and not just take part of my words to try and cause an arguement. And to let you know and those who may not understand what I was trying to say. I was saying that if we are going to talk about even just one person and their situation in life, we should be able to talk poorly about EVERYONE and their situation in life. Of course that is naturally wrong and that is what I want people to understand. To judge everyone by just the few and to not take an individual on an individual basis is wrong. And it shows poorly on the intellect of the person saying them. We all have faults and failures. But, that should not stop someone from loving us, and maybe if we were to open our hearts a little and free our minds more, then things like racism, sexism, mistreatment of others, and a honest desire to promoto spiritual growth could occur.
Just my 3 cents.
P.S.: How do you do the quoting thingy here? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:46:19 PM | Darknromantic, try reading my post slowly next time? 1) where was I attempting to cause an argument 2) this is a public forum right? people do have rights to their opinions? no
3) Now Im paraphrasing you now , wasnt It you to call us "Idiots" for supposely being critical of a few deadbeats living with their parents? I dont know whats got your sunday school nose bent out of shape DNR
You made a couple of ridiculous statements earlier and it overshadowed the legitimate, genuine insights that you had to offer, In my opinion you could of omitted the " IDIOT" comment I think more people would of benefited from your insights instead of riding you for the silly stuff?
just my 3 cents, or am a Idiot for that comment? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 1:42:14 PM | To me it is idiocy (2 : something notably stupid or foolish, according to Merrium-Webster 11th Collegiate Dictionary) to make a generalization on the life of a group of individuals, in this case men and women who are over 30 and still living at home, as many posters have mentioned without clearly stating under what conditions. Just as it is to make such comments about anyone. Now if it you think it is good to make such generalizations that is fine and dandy, but I can only state how I feel in my OPINION. And again, if you are going to quote me, please take the whole reference that way a reader will know the FULL statement and maybe they can decide for themselves.
Sport, I just don't see how you could make the statement you first made without taking the FULL part of may statement in to meaning. And if you understood and read a few of the other posters comments, you may understand where my OPINION was based. Which relates to the above paragraph. And the terminology of idiot (one who makes such comments or has a case of idiocy, also from the same source).
Just my 3 cents worth. And no. | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 344 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 3:22:48 PM | UM, I was making a point based on MY experience - my parents would not let me mooch off them, they made me grow up and get out.
I merely referenced my friends because they messed up their lives and expected mom and dad to bail them out when they are moms and dads themselves!
Forgive me for being an idiot and expressing my experiences. Are my parents idiots for rearing such a well rounded adult??  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 12/31/2006 3:40:45 PM | I met a man that was 51...never married..just moved out from Mom and Dad...and still a freaking virgin!!!
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What do you mean "freakin". This is a malicious attemp t make a standard state of affirs look like something disgusting.
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No kidding!!!
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Kiddding nothing. This guys not uncommon. He's grown up and grown old through a whole generation of man haters, who have the nerve to call themselves feminists. The ones who have ALL sex listed as rape.
If he's a virgin then its the man hating women who are to blame.
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Talk about never growing up!!! His favourite thing about living on his own was he could get his hair cut the way he wanted and pick his own clothes!!!!!
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Never growing up my a&*. He IS living away from mommy and daddy which is what this thread is about.. Wakey wakey!
Picking hisown clothes, choosing hisown hair style. Whats wrong with you woman? You know, as well as I do, that you would be up in arms if any man ever tried to tell you what you have to wear.
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Went back home to use mommy and daddy's computer in the basement!!!! Yikes...I am not cruel but no second date...for sure...what the hell do ya do with a 51 year old virgin!!!
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Idiot. You KNOW what you do with him. (At least you do if you have any brains) Second date, with sex, and a dozen more dates, also with sex. If he's living alone then at least he has some space where the two of you will not be disturbed.
(I dont' believe this ridiculous post.) | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/1/2007 12:11:53 PM | Darknromantic, obviously reading isnt something you do very often? for someone who portrays themselves having a modicum of intelligence?
Go back and re-read any of my post in this thread? I havent made any generalizations, I commented on certain individuals that comes across as Deadbeats................ 2) you were missing my point so I will re-iterate AGAIN and for the last time Ace.
What I refering to from your original post was You were refering to people as idiots who commented and not agreed with you on individual over 30 living at home, go back to your original post, my point is you are being judgemental towards people opinion's that do not mirror yours, can you understand now? and I was wondering why after a nicely written post you said a couple of times those folks were idiots?
By the way not to nit pick, isnt it Merriam-Webster? Lord knows Ive mispelt things here.
again just another 3 cents | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/1/2007 3:20:04 PM | OneGreatM8,
Not once did I say you or those who were talking about people who are deadbeats and still living at home mooching off of their parents in their comments. I like everyone else, think it is a crying shame, that anyone who is lucky that their parents don't toss them out on there behinds are really piss poor. However, I do believe it is equally piss poor for anyone to generalization an individual or group of individuals because of a situation they don't fully understand or know.
The fact of the matter is, there are a lot of us out there living at home with our parents either like some said, to take care or be a companion to that parent when they can. God commends people who look after the elderly. Then, there are those of us who for circumstances beyond our control move back home, help out around the house, while seeking to better our situation either going back to school or finding a job while there. But, a lot of people still want to judge us because of it.
Perfect Example: A woman responded that I may not get the responses to my emails for potiential partners because of the fact I live at home. She stated that a woman might feel that I was immature for going back into college at 36 and living at home. But, the fact of the matter is this, I came out the military against my desire, and was not in a position to get my own place off the back. That is because the job I did as a Marine was not transferable to the civilian world. So, guess what, if I can't get the jobs that I can do without a college degree and certifications.
So, I decided that, instead of getting stuck with a job I did not like or could not advance in to my full potiential. It is best for me to move home, go to school for 18 months. Get my degeree and certifications, then work on getting that $50k+ job per year that I know I can do. This is why I am home this is why I feel very disguisted that I can be judged and found unfit without someone even getting to know who I am.
Again, I was not talking those who were specific about their distinctions of the wrong type of people who live at home and the good ones. As a matter of fact I commend you because you are able to see beyond the material and get to the essence. But those who just thinks that if someone doesn't have certain material aspects at a certain age are anything but, productive members of a household and society.
My $3.00 worth. And yeah, I know, if I am tired or frustrated my mispellings and grammatic errors become worse then they really are.
P.S.: What do you call it when people live by such blind and untruthful standards? To hold back from calling things what it is does no one a service. It is like not letting liars know they are liars. Cheaters not know they are cheaters. If someone is being idiotic, they are being idiots. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/1/2007 7:52:46 PM | This is one of those stories that just won't go away. There are so many misconceptions and pre-judging of people without looking at thier circumstances or taking time to get to know them. North American culture is rife with with the image of someone tsill living at home as some sort of loser or mama's boy. This same culture also reinforces the belief that one must move out of ones parents house as soon as possible, no matter how illprepared that are.
I'll be the first to admit that I moved out "", but when I did I was fully perpared for the transition.
I experiencd plenty of prejudging when I lived with my parents. Several of the women judging me told me that I could easily afford to hire a nurse/contractor for my parents, and that my parents could do the same. After I moved out those same still judged me. They were worried were worried that I would not have enough money left over after mortgage patments to take them out. A few of those women lived at home, but it was OK for them becasue it gave them the chance to buy shoes, designer clothes, and hang out at expensive martini lounges. How's that for a double standard!!!
I am the first born son of conservative Eurpoean immigrents. I was expected to stay and contribute my share of "The Obligation to the Family" at least untill I got married. I was expected to save an invest my earnings. If I had spent all my money on nice cars, gadgets and designer clothing, I would have been kicked out. Thats one thing I'm very greatfull for.
After dad returned from the hospital with his new hips, I promply bought a condo that I was keeping an eye on. Immediatly my parents started thier "Why are you abandoning us?/What have we done to you?/ Where's your love of the family?/Those people that laugh at you have no family values!!!/Its wrong to live alone!!/You have been polluted by North American attitudes that have no respect for the family!!/Can you even afford it?!?!" diatribe. It took them a while, to come around. They come from multy generational households, where everyone is expected to stay together and look out for eachother. They are convinced that most North Americans "throw" thier kids out too early, and it is the root cause of some of the problems our society is facing.
Even though they are very proud of my accomplishments, and know that I am always a phone call away, they still think I abandoned them and the concept of family.
Would I date a woman that still lived with her parents? Yes. Would it bother me? No would I date her if she lived at home because she wanted to afford designer clothing, and/or contributed nothing to her family? Absolutlry Not. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/1/2007 8:10:34 PM | | When I was 28 I moved home with my parents. I didn't do it cause I could not afford to live on my own....or whatever other reasons you think are lame reasons to move home. I moved home because I was working out of town 10 days out of 14.....and to help my parents out financially and around the house (my mother has health issues so is not always able to do daily things....). What I would have paid in rental for an apartment or house of my own, I gave them to help fray their costs so that they could have more things that they wanted. Obviously your ex has his reasons for being at home. (probably as you say lazy ones) but not everyone moves home cause they are too lazy to be on their own. Sometimes it is the best situation for everyone involved. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/1/2007 9:44:16 PM | Thats fine... 'makingmagic' but tell me... when will it be ok for you to move out from under your parental wings?
seriously... I would like to know from your mother what disability she has that she requires you to take care of her.... or is that only in your mind?
you my dear are a mooch... yes... I said it... normally it is only applied to men... but ya... you qualify....
leech,,,,, mooch... what term do you prefer?
as for the rental crap... yup... i paid rent for many years without owning a home... part of life.... part of growing up..... get over it...
did you seriously expect to move out from your moms house and into a house you own?
good lord... pathetic...
I now own a home... after many lean years...
cripes...
but hey... you go on... its cool for you to be a burden to your parents... | |
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