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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/2/2007 4:09:23 AM | One thing i do know is that you can always tell by the way someone reacts to a given situation weather or not there is something there!!!!!!
however who am i to judge!!!!!!!!  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:00:10 AM | lol I cant beleive my old thread is still alive and kicking. Too funny.
When I created this thread it was based on the fact of comparison. What I didnt get AND I STILL DONT GET.... is 5 yrs after my ex and I's breakup I have moved on in leaps and bounds.
I run my own office...I have a home...a new car...a wonderful man who Im marrying soon we hope and we are expecting in may. I have the kids with us...and we are happy.
My ex still lives at home with mommy runing his life....has a new chick every week or so...and is still in debt over his head.
I simply dont get it...MY PERSONAL OPINION IS HE HAS IT TOO EASY AT HOME.
he doesnt pay anything he is king moocher supreme.I wish his parents would give
themselves a head shake..they are a contributing factor. and allow the behavior to continue.
sad sad sad....but the ultimate revenge on an ex is not words and actions and hate...its doing sooo much better than them in the end. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/4/2007 1:56:52 PM | When I was 28 I moved home with my parents. I didn't do it cause I could not afford to live on my own....or whatever other reasons you think are lame reasons to move home. I moved home because I was working out of town 10 days out of 14.....and to help my parents out financially and around the house (my mother has health issues so is not always able to do daily things....). What I would have paid in rental for an apartment or house of my own, I gave them to help fray their costs so that they could have more things that they wanted. Obviously your ex has his reasons for being at home. (probably as you say lazy ones) but not everyone moves home cause they are too lazy to be on their own. Sometimes it is the best situation for everyone involved
^^ i have a friend.. a young man (under 30)who works a full time job plus takes a weekend job as a bartender for extra money to send to his mom in ontario to help her out... he lives on his own AND takes courses to further his career
impressive i'd say | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:03:29 PM | ILL SAY.
my fiance and I were thinking when we buy our house in the next year or so we will make sure it has a suite downstairs for his father. His dad wants to retire and move here from germany. They have been apart for 10 yrs, save our xmas surprise last year when we flew out to surprise him!
That is a completly different circumstance. WE would be helping him...and our baby will know his grandpa too.
PPl CAN MAKE IT... imo...its laziness. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:49:57 AM | | depends on the reasons. Where I live in the Greater Toronto Area, housing is so expensive that alot of people stay at home longer for financial reasons. I lived at home until I was 28 and I don't feel I grew emotionally by moving out. I don't feel like I am any different of a person living on my own it's all about other people's shallow perceptions and judgements. If this is a huge issue in a relationship I would say it's not a healthy one to begin with. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/25/2007 10:15:48 PM | | I lived at home for two years after graduating from college, then when I was more financially stable I moved out on my own. I have to say I do love the independence! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/26/2007 3:27:06 PM | I am still trying to figure out how does independence equate to your place of living and financial status. To me, a lot of people who move around a lot believe they have more freedom than those of you/us who work in the same place as a career. The believe since they don't have to pay people rent money or have takes taken out of their funds, that they are more independent that those of us who do.
Again, I say, I am really having a hard time trying to figure out how where you live and what you have makes you more independent than another. Let me show you why I have to disagree with a person who saids a person who lives at home is not independent....
1. You think they have no say in their lives with their parents around. Hmmmm. I made my own decision to go back to school and to get a part-time job. I make my own decisions of what to wear, where, when, and how long i will be going. I have my own privacy, meaning 99% of the time my mom won't bargin to my room. However, just like all mom's she wants to make sure I am staying healthy, working hard, and happy...This happens no matter how close or far.
2. I still pay a portion of the house expenses and participate in its upkeep. Is this not required if you have your own place or not? Would you be happy to date a man or woman who lived by themselves and kept their place a pig sty? I also have one added feature, I can study in peace and not worry about missing a day from school because I have to wait for the maintenance person to fix something or have to wait for the cable guy to stop by.
3. I know people who prefer to spend the extra money and go to a laudry cleaner than wash their own clothing. Why? They don't have the time or patience to separate the clothes themselves. Sit around an wait for it to wash and dry and they press and fold the clothing. That isn't a lack of independence, just a person who knows his or her strengths and weaknesses and finding away around it. I personally was most of my clothing, with things like suits and silk going to the cleaners. I iron my own clothing and fold and hang them up. Oh, and that goes for about anything else...I can cook when and if I have to. I can make the necessary phone calls or make the repairs myself on my mom's and apartment.
4. If you don't think you and I like anyone else, think again. Do you really think I can't ask my mother to give me a evening with my lady love? Quiet the contrary, she not only would understand, but would be estatic to leave me and my date alone. Now if you are thinking well, what if I want to stay the night cuddled up...Even if I had my own place, I'd kick you out. Why? Because of my belief system and desire to remain celibate. And trust me, I use to do that when I was a sergeant in the Marine Corps and had my own room. If it were after 12, I was calling a woman a cab and making sure she got to it safely.
5. If you don't think I have money to spend just because I live at home, your wrong...With proper bugdeting, I was able to pick up software that ran me $7000. Got a new laptop and desktop appoxl. $1900. So, while I am not able to run out to spend freely like I want (nor would I if I did) that has nothing to do with my independence. I may not be able to buy all the things I want to buy, but show me the average person who can.
What more independence, or lack there of, can I illustrate. What do you mean and do you REALLY understand what you mean when you are looking for independence (which is NOT the bs people believe it is when it deals with us, because we are ALL DEPENDANT on someone or something in this world (You don't think so? When was the last time you tried to work out the national budget for the 1st half of a fiscal year?
Like I said, even if I had a $100M, if I chose to live at home, that's my choice. However, that does not make me any less independent that any of you out there. If anything, it shows wisdom because, it allows me to save money for the pleasures I still receive with or without a woman in my life. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/26/2007 9:50:21 PM | | I think you misunderstood me. When I said independence I meant financial independence. I don't share my rent or other bills with someone else. Although it's nice having roommates to save money, I love having the privacy of living in my own place with no roommates. I don't have to run anything by someone else. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/27/2007 3:23:36 PM | | Financial independence always can be gained. And what if someone does choose to split the bills because they have better things to spend their money on? I have my privacy. I have my room, that is all I need. Expect from maybe things that need to be done to the house, I don't run anything past my mother. Now I might respectfully let he know where I am going, because that is the way I always have been. Even as a Marine. And lets say a person did have his or her own place, but obviously did not have the money to spend freely? Would you still consider them independent? Would you still date them? Especially if it looked like they could us the assistance. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 361 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/28/2007 6:00:41 PM | Its hard enough dealing with in-laws when your partner doesn't live at home. Its important to me that HE understand understands where I'm coming from. Its his judgements of me that count.
EVERY guy I dated who has lived at home has an above-average involvement of their parents in their lives. To make sure their children are happy, healthy etc. they will question their child's dates.
When I go to pick you up instead of vice-versa I have to deal with ma and pa everytime. (I have in total dated 4 guys who lived at home with their parents - they didn't tell me until after they hit off with me). I don't mind telling my partner what my future goals are, my families background, etc. But I sure don't appreciate having to tell their parents. They would offer me "advice" basically trying to parent me too. I have enough issues with my parents still trying to do that to me, I'm not going let someone else's parents do it too. If my parents tried to do that to one of my partners, they'd be hearing it from me.
The guys never saw anything wrong with it, their parents after all were just being parents. That's the whole point!! They were grown men and couldn't even tell that kind of behavior was innapropriate. They didn't like telling their parents they had overstepped their bounds. Most likely because they were still living under their roof and a bit too attached.
FYI - I actually ended up marrying one of those guys and his mother had a great deal to do with wrecking the relationship. She would criticize me for being a bad wife (not parenting her son appropiately). Hello, I'm not his parent?!? ..grown man....responsible for his own actions. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/29/2007 8:57:50 AM | lol...my ex is 33 and still living at home 5 YEARS AFTER BREAKING UP WITH ME plus he has a hoochie now who's shacking up with him too..
I think its the extreme form of "failure to launch" he has it soooooo cushy and his parents do everything for him and he gets to spend his money on wtf he wants...and he pays ZERO for living there.
hell if my parents were my personal slaves id never leave too!! Id save up for a friggen mansion and personal jet too!! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/29/2007 10:18:38 PM | | My last boyfriend didn't live at home (in fact his parents are in a different state) but he is still a mama's boy and always ran to Mommie and Daddy whenever we were having problems in our relationship. In fact, several times he went to his parents about issues he was having with me before he even told me about them. It really got old after a while. I need a man who is emotionally independent from his parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 1/30/2007 7:12:30 PM | | Many women I have knonw say it is ok for women to live at home as long as they want, but not for men. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/1/2007 7:02:31 AM | well most women who live at home I would say are not into responsibility and independence, if youre living at home because of convienance YOURE A LOSER
I dont think men or women should live at home with their parents unless they are taking care of the parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/1/2007 10:00:21 PM | Any one who lives at home because of convienance are wiser that those who throw themselves to the wolves and get devoured by it. So, men and women, if you know that your finances aren't worth a hill of beans because your job isn't or your health is not up to par...Ignore the LOSERS who call you a loser, because they fail to see the other three fingers they are pointing back at themselves when they call you such a name. I know plenty of men and women who still succeed and wind up with a great and fulfilled life.
If you are sitting at home to be a mooch...Maybe you should really think about revaluating your life choices. Is this how you would want someone else to behave with you?
What an individual thinks isn't worth the hill of beans. They can only say what they can for themselves. And what they wouldn't do. But have no right or capability to judge anyone else because they themselves have something that someone else can down them for (and most of them do, and don't realize it). They have no power to grant or deny you anything. And these are the people who are not worth your time. Run from them. Especially when you are finally (or are making more money than they are and they just don't know it).
To you who think you have the right to judge. Judge not unless you want to be judged. And trust me, I can hand down some judgements that would rock the very foundations of your linage and those who are or will be your progeny. So, watch what you are calling someone, because, there are some who are happy to put you in your place and rub your face all in the mud. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/2/2007 8:45:20 AM | whatever DNR, great speech, running for Congress are you?? you can attempt to justify all you want, If a man or woman cant defend for them selves as adults and has to sit home with mommy and daddy for the sake of convienance well thats just plain sad, for the record im not talking about the individuals who are at home because of health reason or taking care of elderly parents.
Im talking about the deadbeats who mooch off of their parents, with all the excuses in the world oh look at poor me I cant find a proper paying job, or cost of living alone is expensive.............etc etc etc.
Millions of people are doing it some are force to do it, among other reasons.... guess what I could live at home, my parents home is free and clear, I have a great job and I know my parents would love to have me and my siblings home but since they taught us independence....... and family gatherings are special for us, I own my own home, with a small small mortgage , I own a car without payments, and my credit cards are not or ever maxed, now thats because I have wonderful parents who taught us about life , finances etc.
Now I will admit im one of the lucky ones, my folks come over once a month for dinner,a which I cook, they come over and I make sure they do nothing around my house, because its just a small token of appreciation of their sacrifice,my brother and sister are the same,and we all get together with our parents, so dont preach to me about being judgemental towards LOSERS, who mooches off their parents, If you want to be a hero and stick up for the LOSERS good for you and I hope some of them buys you lunch. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/2/2007 3:04:18 PM | I wish you would of read everything TDB...You would of seen that I said something about the moochiers. I was talking about those who want to judge EVERYONE who lives at home. As a matter of fact, let me be of help to you out with that sentence...
If you are sitting at home to be a mooch...Maybe you should really think about revaluating your life choices. Is this how you would want someone else to behave with you?
That was my first point. And if you note, I did not have to become an child and call someone a name to make a point. The truth of the matter is this, no matter what our faults are, NO ONE, BUT NO ONE has the right to call anyone a loser. Because if that is the case...Everyone who believes they people should wait until they are married to have sex, would be LOSERS. If we were basing what a loser is based on color, every prejudice person would have the right to call someone a loser. Men and women would have the right to call each other losers. And so on and so forth. And that is why I made the statement about the fingers. Because some is judging us (rather our deeds are right or wrong) and the problem with that, is that it offers no solution to the problem. It does not promote people to think about what they are doing and to evaluate for themselves if their actions are right or wrong. But then again, I would not expect you to understand that from the comment you made...Do you think I should consider you a LOSER because of it?
And again, I say...I DON'T SUPPORT OR BACK PEOPLE DOING THE WRONG THING!!!! I do however, believe that before you judge you see what positive and helpful criticism you can use to help promote a positive change. Childish name calling isn't a great motivator. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/2/2007 4:16:48 PM | DNR, you think that someone who has sex before marriage should be labelled as a LOSER? or the colour of one skin, because some jerkoff racist doesnt like the colour of someone skin? or I should be called a LOSER because I called some Moocher a LOSER?
save the sermon for someone else that may give a rats azz, a LOSER is a LOSER, and I should give them (those LOSERS) positive re-assurances???? WTF , since I dont understand what youre saying that makes me a LOSER, right?????
I hate to break it to you, if im a LOSER in your books, I guess im doing allright
Loserclub member. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:12:57 PM | Hey I can only tell ya from logical since and religious as well. If you want to call someone a loser you have every right to be called a loser back.
Never had I called you a loser until you asked me to. I am just getting at this. If you want to call someone a loser, vice try to give them something constructive to do to change their situation. Someone else has the right to call you a loser for your pitfalls.
And yes, a lot of people have perfectly good reasons to call everyone else a loser if we REALLY want to go there. But, then again, I would not expect most people to understand that concept. So, I wish you well and hope you will find wisdom one day. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/3/2007 3:25:36 PM | OK, DNR if you say so, and thank you for your blessing , we all have pitfalls in life but when a LOSER is a LOSER he or she is a LOSER, just like a racist is a racist,or some one who has B.O smells badly, he or she smells badly you inform them and if its not a medical problem, they hopefully can help them selves.
If you are so smart as you claim you are ?? giving you the benefit of the doubt here then why are you wasting your time trying to convince someone according to you (wouldnt understand that concept?)
something to think about? no. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:55:23 PM | Enough with this LOSER talk already!
Not everyone who lives at home is a LOSER. Some people are away on business so much that living at home makes sense. I am on the road during the week, making it difficult to keep an apartment. Eventually I would like to transfer to the New York office. At that point I will leave home and buy my own home. In the meantime I am saving money, paying my bills, helping with the household expenses and working on getting so far ahead financially that I will not have to worry about money at all when I finally am finished with this phase of my career which involves being away from home so much and am ready to buy a home of my own. Believe me, I look forward to that day--redesigning the interior and having lots of fun with it! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/6/2007 7:38:53 PM | It is all bs in my eyes. Seems these days everyone gets judged by how they live, what the drive and type of job. And sadly many people will live their lives based on other's opinions.
My judgement on people is how they are as a person towards me.
If they live at home so be it, if they work a so called "dead end job" so be it. Man why do people have to judge others when these things have no effect on them?
Like a couple of friends telling me to buy a condo and not bother helping my mom out for the past handful of years, telling me she should fend for herself.
Unreal how people are being these days.
If someone is called a loser for living at home, then what is someone who puts themselves in a sea of major debt to have things and brag about what they have? An awesome person? Come on.
What is someone called if they get laid off from their job and lose their house? So they move back home to get financially situated? A low life? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/7/2007 4:47:24 PM | | i see some of you folks are having trouble reading, thats ok, I didnt say all people living at home are LOSERS, I said the ones living at home mooching off their parents are LOSERS, for the sake of convience are LOSERS. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:05:43 PM |
well most women who live at home I would say are not into responsibility and independence, if youre living at home because of convienance YOURE A LOSER
I dont think men or women should live at home with their parents unless they are taking care of the parents.
This was your quote on Posted: 2/1/2007 at 10:02:31 AM. This does not look like a distinction of who is who. And again, I guess everyone in the world has to call anyone one else a loser based on their like or dislikes. Instead of trying to education, too many moronic, self-righteous, self-important people think the have the right to judge the position of another. Instead of taking the blessings they have had in life and trying to help someone out, the are quick to put down, make fun of, or brush to the side another who does not fit it there little world. You know what is funny. Those who are so quick to dismiss people. Most never will know what it is like because they will never see how quickly and easily they have been dismissed.
For those of you who understand that it does not matter your circumstance, EVERYONE has the right to love and to be loved. I hope you never lose that knowledge and understanding like the others of this world. And no matter who confronts you, do what is right, for the only thing we have to take with us to the grave, is the honor, love, and actions we have given in this life.
For those who can hear and who see to grow, know this...Love is not about if someone is doing something right or wrong. If they live at home or not. If they are moochers or not, because in truth, many more of them still find someone to love them and grow. Not because someone downed them, but because someone was willing to reach out to love them. If you are as loving as you say you are, then stop your judgements and elitist atitude, if someone is doing wrong, educate them. If someone is down, lift them up. Do onto others as you would want someone to do for you if you were in that same situation. | |
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