| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:53:54 AM | While I was brushing my teeth recently, my friend looked at me in the mirror and asked:
"That stuff in your blog about how I don't help out with the kids, that's old stuff, right? Or at least an exaggeration?"
I thought about letting it pass. It was late, a bad time to risk a fight. But this blog is about telling the truth, so I did.
"No, honey. It's true. I just don't complain anymore. And I don't think it's your fault. You're just not as good at the childcare stuff as I am."
He didn't get angry. "But everyone tells me I'm such a great dad." | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/19/2007 11:21:28 AM | lol sweet temptation... you are so right!!!
I have to shake my head and also my family and friends when I tell them about my ex nowadays. It comes up every now and then at xmas or the kids birthdays..." so whats the dad up to these days?" i tell them exactly the same year after year. NO A GODDAM BLODDY THING.
My mother thinks it a dependancy thing... anxiety of failing on his own...he has it sooooo easy he accustomed to having his family take care of his every need I just dont know. What relly worries me as I have explained before is if he does move out (aahhaaha!) will he be able to do it well. Im not comfortable sending my kids off to him when he moves out becasue in all 100% honestly he has NEVER taken care of them without someone there. There are trust issues there.
Now he has another hopeless GF whose as much of a loser as he is... shes shacking up with him at mommys. What is it with these loser type ppl??
No drive, no ambition to change thier ways... I would be so embarrassed of myself Id go crazy!!!
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/19/2007 1:20:48 PM | | I've been on my own since I was 14 basically, long story....but I couldn't imagine being in my 30's and living at home...my ex-husband also lives at home with Daddy...and I think its funny that he lives there, being 36 years old, and no job...I say grow up, get a job and move out, thats part of being an adult...However, I know of a few other men who live at home with their parents, but they have jobs so I don't think its lazy of them or anything...I don't know, some people have to I guess | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:15:14 PM | | Man any male that lives with his parents past 18 is a f-ing loser.I left hhome at 14 never went back. My half-brothers never left until they were in their 20's...I never understood. Men that live at home past 30 are seriously messed up. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:26:11 PM | live at home, and I just turned thirty. then forgive my post..but why do you live at home?
For me, well... mom always guilted me when I was younger. She recently admited last year when my dad passed away that she held me back. My father was an alcoholic, as the youngest son (of four) I knew if I left the family home would have to go up for sale. There were times when I would get so fed up I wanted to leave, but each time I either didn't have enough money socked away to comfortably buy a place or I was distracted by a relationship.
You should leave...that's my opinion, just leave and move out. You can never fully mature unless you leave the nest imho.
Looking back now, my dad has passed on, mom is now set and I am f*cked. Real Estate is through the roof. Well, I guess I can still buy a small hole in the wall without a huge mortgage but it just doesn't seem appealing to me at the moment. Anyways, I just thought I would share seeing the topic of the thread.
P.S. I do have the basement so I have mediocre privacy, but as much as I plead with her she still comes down when I am not home and puts her *touch* on things. Drives me insane.
Then spare your sanity and move out even IF it is a hole in the wall do it for yourself. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 11:14:06 AM | | Honest,some people on here thinks that people who live with their folks for whatever reason are worse than child molesters and xpbmx people who are 18 and living with their folks are losers are they??? I guess there was a reason why you left home at an early age?? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 12:28:49 PM | I agree it can be pretty ridiculous at times. Sometimes the situation ends up being that that's the only solution, but usually people who live with their folks can fend for themselves just fine. I myself couldn't live with my mom, I'd go nuts.  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 1:45:35 PM | some ppl just beleive that our parents raised us to be grown ups.. be responsible and to learn to fend for ourselves.
The ones that I am especially targetting are the ones who stay home for the pure fact of having it easy...and being non-contributers. The moochers and the selfish ones.
There are many factors for staying home financial... ill parents.. students...religious...broken marriages. Some are for short term help only and they fly out again.
No not every 30 yr old who is at home is a loser. Some feel the call of duty to take care of parents...to help out..and that is commendable. They are HELPING.That is honorable.
But to make and expect your mother to still cook clean...fold your clothes and wake you up in the morning like you are still a teen?>>. thats ridiculous. I and tons of ppl throughout this thread will agree that its pure a simple MOOCHISM. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:03:25 PM | For the past few years helping my mom out by renting a 2 bedroom apt with her, not "living with my mom" has been more a headache because of what people say to me about it.
Most people are looking in from the outside not having a clue why someone does live with their PARENT..I have only one. When I have explained it to them I get the usual "Ya whatever, you are 38 she can fend for herself so do not lie"
That to me is nothing but ignorance and disrespectful when one does not know the reason why a son or daughter is living at home. Everyone who has moved out for whatever reasons, figure that everyone else should do what they have done. Sad really.
Hey I am proud to say I decided to help my mom out financially when she got laid off from her job. So be it. To me my mom comes way before any woman or friend that is for sure. She raised me all on her own with no help from anyone. And my dad walked out when i was 3 and was not a part of my life.
So sure for a bit there it used to bother me when I got the comments from women or friends, and it did change my attitude towards her for a bit, but then I thought screw them. If anyone's parent needed their help I am sure they would be there to help them out. So people stop assuming why labelling people for living with their parents. Not everyone is a lowlife loser, freeloader or anything else you seem to want to call them. Know the person first, know what the reason is and then you may be surprised that your thought on why he/she is still living at home or moved back home is not what you thought.
It really annoys me to be told that I some other family members can help my mom out, you do not have to. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:30:09 PM | In some cultures the children or maybe oldest child lives at home to help an elderly parent or all 3 or even 4 generations may still live under the same roof.
There is a differance if the adult child isnt working and lives at home for years or is out of work temperarly or going thru a divorce and had no other option and needed assistance I think situations vary... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:59:04 AM | my fiance and future brother in law took in their mother when her european pension ran out. She injured herself and had no chioce but to retire early. Once her canadian one kicked in it is ridiculously low.
To give up ones freedom and independance was very difficult for her and there was alot of pride involved. It was a no brainer HELP MOM.
Once my fiance and I met and moved in together his bro still keeps her with him. I personally dont think it will change. If he marries one of us will have to take her in. Either him.. or us will have to make sure our home has a suite for her.
Its not a burden...but one many families have to make. Its quite unfair to judge a man or woman right away and freak YOU LIVE AT HOME!!!!!!!!!! ewwwwwwwwww.....there are so many reasons why it is the way that it is.
I could never turn away my parents if they needed me.. | |
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lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 412 | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/24/2007 8:31:31 AM | | If you can't afford to leave home. Get a room mate and move out. Live by your own rules and create your own world. I was out of the house when I was eighteen, and have enjoyed every second of my independence. My sister is a doctor, and she put herself through medical school without the help of our parents, or living at home while doing so. If you still live at home, you don't have the drive your parents should have instilled in you. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/26/2007 10:10:07 PM | I love my mom and everything, but I moved out for school last year (when I was 18) and it was a relief. There are certainly conveniences that come along with living at home, but it is really liberating taking care of a household all by yourself and being more accountable for everything you do (i.e not partying everynight and donig my homework without the familiar nagging of my mother to get it done). And to be honest I was really tired of all the nagging and stuf parents do "because I love you and want what's best for you" crap that you know is true but want to be in control of your self; not being told what to do.
I know one guy that has never left his parents house, 35. I feel really bad for him, you can tell he's lonely and not very happy, working some crap hole job. I always thought he would be happier if he moved out, but I mean that;s just my opinion, I don't want to offend anyone. Whatever floats your boat. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/26/2007 11:01:48 PM | I also know a few people who because some kept telling him that they moved out at 20 he should be out by now. He was helping out his mom after his dad passed away, but then he listened to others and left..sadly his mom got sick, and he felt she should be fending for heself and all because others told him he was doing the right thing. His mom passed away 2 years after his dad. Now he regrets not being there for her. But thinks he did the right thing and that shit happens.
Me, am helping my mom out. And those who think I am a lowlife, loser etc for choosing to move back in with my mom a few years back to help her out financially, hey no one is perfect and if we all did the same things, then we would all be identical. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:29:28 AM | Wow, been gone for months, and this thread is still going! LOL!
To all us guys still living at home for one reason or another, if a woman specifically is not interested in you because of your living situation, she's not the right one for you anyways...
At least you found out sooner than later! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/4/2007 10:07:39 PM | People like you Kill me Mecheng001, ever hear the old saying PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES? sound familiar bud? its funny how you would condemn a woman for not wanting to go out with a man who lives at home with his parents? but someone like you wouldn't date a single mom? hypocritical isn't it?
As for the fella " The champ is here" some advice which may not be worth much to you, but you should be thinking who the F*ck cares what a few women think about you living at home taking care of your Mother, that to me speaks volume about one's character , most women I know would like to be with a man who sacrifices their present situation just to help out his mother, I say ....you're alright in my books, and so what if some women wouldn't date you for that, your better off with out them.
No matter what our personal preferences are, there will always be those who are intimidated, angered and even enraged by choices/views unlike their own. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/5/2007 7:59:12 PM | I was fortunate enought that I was able to buy another house after splitting from my ex. Some guys who may have been taken through the ringer may not be so lucky. Then again a family across from my ex's parents had 3 boys living at home that were in their 40's not married.
Its time to move from the basement boys. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/7/2007 4:29:16 PM | Well, i am 35 and just recently moved in with my mother. she is my best friend. she has her job, i have mine, i have my life, she has hers. i help with the bills, the cooking, the cleaning, i do my own laundry. i am recently out of a very bad relationship and relocated to arkansas to be near family. i am going back to college to finish my degree.
if a man has a problem with me being 'roommates' with my mom, his loss.
dont judge me or where i live, judge me for who i am and my morals and beliefs. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/7/2007 8:34:06 PM | | i would have to agree totally with u on that one my dad is italian and my mom from nova scotia. my parents dont care how long i stay for as long as i do, but that goes right back to the whole family thing.my parents are my best friends no matter what stupid choice we make they are always there. and yes i still live at home simply cause i cant afford to leave. i did leave for about 7 years and had to come back due to financial issues. when i did my parents thought it was the best thing in the world. they never wanted me to leave in the first place. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:55:53 AM | It depends upon the situation (and the culture but I won't get into that.)
If they are still living at home and having mommy and daddy pay their way, then yeah, total loser. That's a bad situation right there. But, for example, it's a single woman lives with her single mom in a home they have both invested in? That's more of a roommate situation than a loser leeching off of their parents. My parents would drive me nuts, so that's not an option, but I could see an investment situation being ok. Or if they are helping their parents. Having a parent that you are supporting is totally different than having a parent support you. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:45:25 AM | My ex doesnt still live at home BUT...His mommy pays his rent, his utilities, his car insurance , his cell phone bill, buys his groceries...etc....She cant seem to pay his child support however... Now thats a mama's boy! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:23:39 AM | hmmmm
I don't live with my parents, but after my ex left me, I was a right state, had it not been for my folks I think i could have been in real trouble.
Personally I think that no-one wants to be with their folks and calling his parents weak for wanting to look after their kids is quite frankly out and out nasty.
lets hope you never fall on hard times
Edd | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/8/2007 9:46:29 AM | | sometimes you need a safe space to get your head together. I'm glad I still get along w/my Ma. For now, it's a good thing. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/20/2007 5:23:15 AM | | From the moment I got custody of my son, my ex has been persona non grata. No child support, no respite child care, nadda. In order for me to make sure my son was properly looked after while I'm at work (I work nights), I decided to move home to my mom's house until my son was old enough and responsible enough to look after himself. Since no "self-respecting" woman will have anything to do with me and only Bill Gates and Donald Trump can afford to buy a home on a single income, I wasn't exactly facing a wide variety of options to choose from. I could rent a 2 bedroom apartment for $1600 - $2800 per month, but that doesn't leave much for food, clothes and the other essentials. Not to mention, I've paid for too many other people's mortgages in the past 23 years. At least my mother owns her home and all I have to do is shell out for groceries and do a few hours of yard work to keep her happy. Given my druthers, my ex would be paying for MY mortgage, but since she's a dead-beat, I'll just have to suffer the jeers of the rightous who managed to find someone to split their expences with. | |
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