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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:32:21 AM |
If they are still living at home and having mommy and daddy pay their way, then yeah, total loser. That's a bad situation right there. But, for example, it's a single woman lives with her single mom in a home they have both invested in? That's more of a roommate situation than a loser leeching off of their parents. My parents would drive me nuts, so that's not an option, but I could see an investment situation being ok. Or if they are helping their parents. Having a parent that you are supporting is totally different than having a parent support you.
Still there is that double standard in place where it is ok for the woman to live with her parent(s) but a guy is totally frowned upon doing so by women. No matter what the situation is. Quite sad. I have a hard time getting dates because I am helping my mom out for the past few years by renting a 2 bedroom with her and let her get her finances in place after she got laid off a few years back. Women have stated to me that she should get other family members to help her. And alot of times that comment came from women living at home. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:01:25 AM |
People like you Kill me Mecheng001, ever hear the old saying PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES? sound familiar bud? its funny how you would condemn a woman for not wanting to go out with a man who lives at home with his parents? but someone like you wouldn't date a single mom? hypocritical isn't it?
Not exactly...
Hypocritical would be if I didn't want to date a woman who lived at home... I would have no problem dating a woman who lived at home...
Another example would be if I had kids, and did not want to date a woman with kids. I don't have kids, and don't want to date a woman with kids, so far from hypocritical...
This is fun, you want to pick on me some more? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 12:15:58 PM | Is this where im supposed to go boohooo mechang,??? I can see you're having trouble with the English language slick.......... you think I'm picking on you? and you consider this fun....
I simply pointed out certain inconsistencies but it went over your head, your last rejoinder was sooooo lame, you completely extended the concept to absurd extreme.
Ignorance at its best!!! good job
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 3:03:29 PM | I'm not the one who is having trouble with the English language, at least I know what hypocritical means...
And yes, these forums are fun...
I hope you're not taking any of this seriously, because I'm not, hence the fun comment...
But whatever... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:03:40 PM | | congratulations mecheng, that you know what it means, that and $4.00 will get you a Latte at Starbucks, I'm so glad you know the meaning of hypocritical, I'm sure your mom is proud of you, My mom would be | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:22:41 PM | "Congratulations mecheng, that you know what it means, that and $4.00 will get you a Latte at Starbucks, I'm so glad you know the meaning of hypocritical, I'm sure your mom is proud of you, My mom would be."
$4.00 ??? You can get something at a Starbucks for $4.00 ????? What?? Water?? A napkin?? Oh wait... I get it... his "knowledge" plus $4.00.
So... that adds up to... ??
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 1:46:59 AM | | lets get real here people. It's obvious that there are situations where living with your parents is acceptable, but why on earth would anyone want to live with their mothers when you are like 30 years old? Ever seen the breakfast club? it really illustrates how ridicoulous this motion is. If you're like 30 and living with your mom for reasons that aren't necessary then dont get pissed when people call you a loser, cause that is more than likely what you are. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:49:01 AM | Many of you seem jaded in some way... You're very hostile and almost get angry over this stuff, lol... Why?
And as far as ppl calling me a loser due to my living situation? I have yet to encounter someone in real life say that to me after meeting me (maybe they have, but not to my face). So sorry if I don't take seriously what a bunch of "losers" on a dating site say about my situation. In others' eye's, we're all losers for being on this site to begin with, so meh...
And yes, my parents are very proud of me. We have a great relationship, and that is the most important thing to me, how well we get along and help each other.
There seems to be a lot of people on this site judging others, and yet they are here because they have FAILED in real life to find love. Somehow they think they can give out all kinds of worldly advice to others, eventhough they are failures themselves! Now talk about hypocritical...  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:45:26 AM | There seems to be a lot of people on this site judging others, and yet they are here because they have FAILED in real life to find love. Somehow they think they can give out all kinds of worldly advice to others, eventhough they are failures themselves! Now talk about hypocritical...
Right on.
And THAT, plus $6.00, will get you something at Starbucks.
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:12:55 PM | A little touchy there Mecheng, some one needs to relax Ace, listen If you believe that your living arrangements are fine......... why do you care what others think? so what.... you stated your views and opinions some agreed with you and some like me don't. I applaud Champ like me and guys like him who sacrifice and help their mothers or parents out, and like i said before if a woman doesn't want to date them because too f*ckin bad , its their loss.
What I find distasteful is and Ive said it before is the guy living at home being a dead beat ,mooching off their parents , yes he's LOSER, do you fall under that category?
As in I'm judging you, I'm not judging I stated my opinion Ace, with a little sarcasm, just like crystalline sunshine is making fun of me for my silly saying but it doesn't bother me, if i post it and she doesn't agree such is life? no.
By the way how are you any better than those who judge and call people losers when you just called most people who disagreed with you "failures" and "handing out worldly advice" Ive done no such thing Sport, just stated a opinion? is that hypocritical?
crystallinesunshine, up here i can still get a latte for $4.00 isn't Canada wonderful!!! we only get that price after the snow melts, huskies are put away, and the igloo's has melted into the great lakes
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 4:28:00 PM |
lets get real here people. It's obvious that there are situations where living with your parents is acceptable, but why on earth would anyone want to live with their mothers when you are like 30 years old? Ever seen the breakfast club? it really illustrates how ridicoulous this motion is. If you're like 30 and living with your mom for reasons that aren't necessary then dont get pissed when people call you a loser, cause that is more than likely what you are.
I have always wanted to know who decides if it is acceptable for you to live with family? Seems so many other people want to tell others you are in the wrong for doing that. Sad really sad.
Reminds me of 3 friends 10 years ago when their roommate moved out and they needed another one, they asked me. I said no. They said why not, you get to move out of home from your mom. I said sure but how am I benefiting from moving into the house with the 3 of you? All I am doing is making it easier for the 3 of you and instead of having one roommate at home, my mom, I have 3 and I would be paying the same amount of rent. They got a bit upset because it was true. I think I would rather pay half the rent with my mom and be helping her out at the sametime, even though I was 28 and she was working, than help out 3 others and it does not do anything for me. Sounds selfish but I would rather be living on my own if given the choice of renting a 2 bedroom apt with my mom, renting a 4 bedroom house with 3 friends, or living in a one bedroom on my own. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 6:28:09 PM | Anyone living at home who is over 25 (and has healthy parents) has problems. You can make up your lame sorry-a$$ed reasons and excuses why it is 'the best thing' at the present time.
So you have to eat kraft dinner, live in a hole in the wall, are in financial ruin and have the remote to that TV your ex-wife now owns.... Guess what? You stand up and face the consequences of your poor choices ...instead of running home to mommy and daddy. Thats is what growing up is about-- you make a sucky choice in marrying (or living with) the wrong person, ....you go through some hard financial times ..and you learn not to make that mistake again. Instead, people run home to mom and dad, without experiencing the consequences of their actions or choices... and do it all over once again. Life is full of the 'deserved' and 'undeserved' crap. It speaks volumes to how you choose to deal with it. Do you run home to parents....or do you choose to become a stronger and wiser person for it? Yeah...many would simply to choose the easy route cause mom's cookin' certainly beats Kraft dinner, eh?
If you truly want to help mom, .. get yourself a cheap basement apartment, a case of kraft dinner  and send your mom a cheque each month. What does living with 3 friends, or for that matter....3 cats in a basement..or alone do for you?? You learn to grow up ....and growing up ain't always sh*ts and giggles. 
I have a whole lot of respect for the guy who offers to cook me some KD haute cuisine for a special evening over the guy who has to sneak me to his room. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:14:38 PM | Thanks Rainy Mondays so now I know who wrote the rules...thanks...funny how everyone is such a better person when they move out for good from their parents. Ever had sick parents? Should they just dwindle away on their own? Thought so.
I will remember that when mom is dying and I will say 'Sorry Rainy Mondays stated I am a real man if i do not move back in to help. Watch for the cheque in the mail'
Hmm ok Rainy as I guess I should I will explain it all to you in an email. You reply back with your thoughts and we can call it even. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:01:21 AM | I think you missed the point rainy mondays, he's not running home because his wife left for the mailman, took off with the dog and truck and he lonely and missing mama's home cooking
He's HELPING his mother out as children should do in the parents time and need, Most parents sacrificed things for us, and he's taken upon him self to repay the favor , to that I applaud him for that, to tell him to get a cheap basement apartment and send his mother a cheque will that asinine
Lets compare apples to apples not apples to Pineapples, were not talking about some deadbeat loser who mommy wipes his a$$ , does the laundry and everything else and has to sneak his dates into his room, in The champ is here case , he's helping his mother, from the sounds of it the Father isn't around
Its attitudes like yours is why guys like him are sometimes well whats the best word for this???? guarded........ In case you're wondering I don't live with my mother, the last time I lived with my mother Noah was a little boy wearing short pants before he built his ark. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:53:14 PM | I have 13 sibblings,,,and I think maybe 1 was still living at home at the age of 28,,,and she aquired herself a child as well.
I myself left home at the age of 16,,,moved to TO, Ont.and went back to school,,,and worked fulltime.
Met up with and married My now ex-husband,,,had 2 children for him,,,,and still to this day I am working my white behind off, supporting myself and my daughter....she is 24... I love having her live her,,I have no problem with it,,,,but I have told her over and over,,,she isn't looking hard enough for a job,,,of course she says she is,,,and I believe her...
My point is,,regardless of her age,,,as long as she gets herself a job,,,,and helps with the expenses,,,and takes a few nights a week to find something to do otuside the house so I can have some alone time....I could not care less if she stays with me until I am old a feeble..
as a few people has stated before,,,who wants to be alone....I know I certainly don't. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/1/2007 9:26:29 PM | | Ah but there is a big double standard to this all. Men are not supposed to be living at home after a certain age no matter what. Women are allowed and it is acceptable if they do. Seems I myself have been criticized for having a close relationship with my mom, women have actually told me that a man is supposed to be close to his father, women get close to their mothers after a short time where they do not talk. I thought wow, my dad up and left when i was about 3, so I should go find him? Lots tell me I should, so one day I said "Ok I know where he sleeps, in the cemetary where he is buried" The guy was never a part of my life. But lots of women say that is still no excuse for you to be close to your mom...unreal how some people think. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/4/2007 10:02:27 PM | i have noticed that there are quite a few men here who came back home to take care of thier moms. I actually love that. It shows me they have a heart...that family is valued and also its a very honorable thing to do. Its its an honest to god mom needs me then who are we to say WOW WHAT A LOSER??
If it was reversed and " i need my mommy to take care of me" then yeah buddy....you suck royally. In my situation my ex hasnt left home in the 5 yrs since we parted. His mom takes care of his every need and he has zero exspenses. he hasnt paid child support in 3 months and I have now summoned him to court. he is crying wolf and hardship. wtf??? how can he claim hardship when he has no living exspenses?? thats insane.
hes a complete a total mooch. loser huge peter pan boy that i hope one day he will grow up. My children need a better role model than the one hes being right now Im afraid. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/9/2007 9:56:27 AM | I left home as soon as I left school, & while there were some reasons for that beyond wanting my independance, that was still the main reason why I left. If you can't take responsibility for yourself & look after yourself or don't want to then that is immature in some way no matter what you tell yourself. You can live in your own place & still see your family frequently & help to take of them when they need your help but staying at home is, in my opinion, prolonging your childhood by not facing up to taking responsibility for yourself. Lack of money isn't a valid excuse - you just have to drop your standards a bit. I've lived in flats on council estates for my entire adult life cos I can't afford to get on the property ladder (& with the market the way it is these days you'd have to be very well off to buy somewhere on 1 salary) but there's nothing wrong with that. The way I see it, it's my home & that's worth having to make sacrifices to meet the bills sometimes - that's life. Staying at home because it's more comfortable/easy is avoiding some of the rougher aspects of adulthood, & I reckon you've got to take the rough with the smooth & that you appreciate good times more when you've got some experiences to contrast them with. It may be normal in some other cultures but we don't live in other cultures or in past times so that's not really relevant.
OK, rant over. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/9/2007 6:49:45 PM | | I'm sure there are a few legit reasons for a man to be over 30 and living with his mom/parents but whatever the reason,it doesn't matter to me. I've lived on my own since the age of 19, always loved my own independence and having a home of my own to come home to - and the guy for me would be of this same mindset. I've known a few guys over the years who lived with their parents claiming they did so to 'help them' but it was BS, they were just enjoying the free rent and having mommy wash their Underoos and cook them dinner. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:05:13 PM | It amazes me how ignorant, prejudiced, judgmental, and narrow minded some people are. Anybody that would judge somebody's character by this one thing without knowing more about the person is very naive and doesn't have a grasp on reality. I am 34 and live at home for economic reasons. I am an extremely hard worker, have a degree, I do pay some rent every month, and have been at the same job for over 8 years. Unfortunately, despite getting some pretty good raises over the years, I can still not afford to rent an apartment in Southern California. If I didn't have any student loans or other debt it would still be unrealistic. Right now it's economically impossible. Of course, by societal standards, that makes me a "loser". Not only do I commit the unforgiveable sin of living at home, but it's due to economic reasons, and ignorant people have been programmed to judge men based on their economic success rather than their character.
Of course, I don't see myself in this position for that much longer. I confess that I made some bad decisions involving credit in the past. In about 4 months I will have paid off all of my credit debt. Plus, I now have a degree which should open some doors. However, sometimes I wonder if I should go ahead and put up a profile now, admitting to my living arrangement. On the one hand, if I wait until I'm not in this position any longer, dating might run more smoothly. On the other hand, attempting to date while still living at home would definitely eliminate the very shallow, judgmental, and ignorant women and I would know that any responses would be from women who share my values and actually think for themselves. I don't need to be in a relationship to make me happy, and I prefer being single to being in a bad relationship. And being in a relationship with somebody stupid and prejudiced enough to think she can judge a man by economic success or living at home would not be fun, regardless of how successful I was! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:25:23 PM | Uhh... bull. That whole "have to move out by age XX" thing is nothing but capitalist brainwashing. The only valid reasons to move out are: a) abuse b) need more space/privacy c) want to start investing in property d) have money to burn. These are NOT to be confused with the childish/culturally insane/circumstantial reasons: a) can't grow up and get along with family b) can't appreciate community c) can't appreciate saving some money d) imagine that you must have all the trappings of marriage before it actually gets to that stage, rather than just needing to be prepared for it (with a bank account in the black, for instance) e) are afraid of being misjudged by the opposite sex for making good decisions.
Stop buying into everything your culture tells you. Learn from other cultures, who do things VERY differently. You'll be a lot happier, and a lot better off, in the long-run. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:15:07 PM | It seems kind of weak that people define themselves as better for not "living at home" or dismiss and lump together everyone who does do it nomater the reason. I had to move in to my grandparents to help my grandmother out because grandpa got Alzheimer’s and she has gotten bad arthritis. The rest of the family would not step up to help out so I had to. I work full time, pay full rent and still help her out. I don't think that makes me a deadbeat but im not too concerned what people think.
Its just sad that people think there is only one scenario in the universe to encompass everything. Having said that. If someone puts on there profile "not looking for someone living at home" im not even going to reply to them and explain my sitch. Not worth it.
My situation is temporary until he goes into a home. I could lie about it but why bother. Just thought that there should be another side to that "living at home" argument. Someone else mentioned that it is indeed also a cultural issue as well and seems more frowned upon in the west. Not sure what that says. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:08:19 PM | | Well let me put it this way. When my ex and I split, i gave her the house for the kids. i was a truck driver and on the road all the time. I would only come back every other weekend when I got my kids. i couldn't see buying a place for 4 days a month. I pay my parents rent and take care of the house since they travel alot. Right now I am on workmans comp because I tore my shoulder.On top of that, I still help my ex out financially since she hasn't been working because she just had another baby and her ex b/f is a worthless loser. I don't live her scott free and I don't mooch. If I didn't have to help her out (which I don't but I do because my kids live there and I won't let anything happen to them). So as in all things there are sometimes extenuating circumstances(sorry if my typing and speeling are a little off tonight). I also know people in their 30's who do live off mom n dad and waste their lives drinking or whatever. Instead of wasting my time I am back in college since I can't work right now but I pay my own bills and help them out as well. So does this make me a bad person, or a lazy person, or any less of a person than anyone else? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:31:44 PM |
Ya know, I really don't give a rat's rear what anyone thinks about where I live since IT IS MY CHOICE. Yeah, I'm over 30, live in the attached studio behind mom's place. Other than not having a kitchen, I'm pretty much on my own back here. Why I choose to stay is my business and if you are going to judge my mental status based on where I live you can just bloody well feck the hades right off.
Assuming? You know what that means, right? :rollseyes:
To the guys/gals taking care of mom/dad in their twilight years even if it means staying with them temp or perm basis=FTW in my book.    :yah: | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:44:16 PM | | Exactly. Just because someone may be staying with their parents temporarily or may be there to help elder parents out doesn't mean they are bad people. | |
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