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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/20/2007 7:08:11 PM | I agree there are exceptions to people living at home. I do. Help pay rent and I'm a workaholic, so basically just need a pad to sleep in. Save my money, take care of parents and totally help out babysitting nieces and nephews to give the mother a break. If you knew our family and how well and successful we're all raised and how well we achieve outside the home, work, academics, sports etc.... Everybody would think twice before moving out, especially if they come from a good family that gets along so well.
At a drop of a pin could move out and live independently, when the right girl comes around who's not so narrow minded about things like guys living at home.........oh well their loss. I'm not going to spend money on a pad just to entertain tramps for one night stands, and take away from a wonderfully cooperative family. If the girls are smart enough to be open minded they'll catch a prize in the end. Just ask my sister in laws. I'm in no rush, until the right one comes along. Good luck to everyone else. Including the girls who can't scout the right guy the first time round or the second lol... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/27/2007 7:05:58 PM | | I find this to be a huge problem with me and trying to meet someone. I have lived on my own before and I am no wear near a mommas boy. I really hate living at home with my parents being in my 30's now and well things haven't exactly worked out for me. I'm trying to get out but my money just seems to be going to my student loan or credit card or rent since I'm paying rent here, I buy my own food, bus fare since I no longer have a car and I don't make very much money. Does that mean I have to be alone? Apparently so. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/27/2007 11:21:10 PM | | When a grown child still lives at home with their parents rent free there will be a rude awaking for them one day when they go out into the real world and try to balance a budget for rent, food, utilities, etc. I will admit I moved back home when I was 30 yrs old for 10 months to take care of my very sick mother.I had to watch every move she made, she was very frail, she is better today. I say living at home with no justified reason is a control issue between the child and their parents, who do not to cut the cord from each other. I think if a grown child lives at home until the parents dies, then it will be that much harder for the grown child to get over the death of their mother/father. I enjoy living at my own place and having my own sense of independence. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:25:04 AM | as one of those living at home I do not live free I have a student loan payment to make and I pay 110 a week room and board but it is better than livng in an apartment which I did while in school. I have two degrees and both are worthless in todays society one in Accounting and one in Logistics Management I never had the talent for a masters or doctorate so my wage has went from about 30k to 15k due to the need of the boss to get a bigger bonus I do all work asked of me plus extra work that needs to be done at a very low hourly rate but I am happy as I do not have the stress from fear of losing my job. As an accountant or clerical worker the chance of the work being outsourced was 80% unless my wage was under 9 an hour I work driving a hilo now for 8.50 but becuase I have to be here to drive the hilo it cannot be outsourced plus my extra work skills make me a better employee. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:42:41 PM | If you are over 30 and still at home.
1. You should have about 30 - 50k saved up from not paying rent. This will make a very nice down payment on a great little townhouse or condo... so you can move out.
2. or you should be handicapped.. no other excuse.
3. well maybe one more... a student or single mom,. but you should have graduated about 5 - 10 years ago... so get a job, or quit the one at the mall food fair and get a better paying job, and move out.
The theme here is move out.. get a life, and grow up. Being over 24 and living at home is not attractive. Being over 30 is just a bit creepy. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:22:47 PM | I moved out of my parents' place when I was 17 and went to college and have supported myself since then. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with someone over 30 who lives with their parents. I wouldn't do it myself because my mom would probably interfere to much for my taste lol but I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
Now-days, people send their parents off to old age homes instead of taking them in. I think the world would be a better place if we took care of our own parents. These are the people who love us and whom we love. ..and they have an entire life-time of experience to learn from. In some cultures, it is a perfectly natural thing to do.
Try not to judgmental of others and people will be less judgmental of you. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:06:31 PM | | stickyboy, you don't know what you're talking about. Everyone has different situations and some people are swamped in debt. You are aware of that aren't you. Credit card debt is at an all time high. Tuition keeps going up. People stuck with huge student loan debt. Not everyones parents can pay for it you know. You should go read some horror stories at canadastudentdebt.ca. And then you get a diploma and still can't get a job. Except for Tim Hortons or something like that. You make it sound like you can just snap your fingers and fix it all. I myself am not so bad in the debt situation its manageable and I most likely won't be at home much longer. And I have lived on my own before as well so not like I've always lived at home. But man, it pisses me off to listen to these superiority complexes people have. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:00:17 PM |
stickyboy, you don't know what you're talking about. Everyone has different situations and some people are swamped in debt. You are aware of that aren't you. Credit card debt is at an all time high. Tuition keeps going up. People stuck with huge student loan debt. Not everyones parents can pay for it you know. You should go read some horror stories at canadastudentdebt.ca. And then you get a diploma and still can't get a job. Except for Tim Hortons or something like that. You make it sound like you can just snap your fingers and fix it all. I myself am not so bad in the debt situation its manageable and I most likely won't be at home much longer. And I have lived on my own before as well so not like I've always lived at home. But man, it pisses me off to listen to these superiority complexes people have.
Tell me about it! It amazes me how much shallowness and prejudice there is out there. "Superiority complex" describes these people perfectly. One thing you have to remember about prejudiced people is that they are mentally lazy; they don't want to take the time to actually learn about people who are different. It's so much easier for them to just make blanket generalizations without actually doing any critical thinking. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:46:24 PM | CWLiberal, what kind of shit is that? if a man lives at home after the age of 30 because, 1) credit cards bills and debt are too much, saving for a downpayment, doesnt want to live alone, wants his mama to take care of him, or cant find a higher paying job, of course hes a loser,
We aint talking about some guy coming home to help out his Mama,Nana or aging relative, im sure were talking about the lazy ass types. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 6:48:26 PM |
CWLiberal, what kind of shit is that? if a man lives at home after the age of 30 because, 1) credit cards bills and debt are too much, saving for a downpayment, doesnt want to live alone, wants his mama to take care of him, or cant find a higher paying job, of course hes a loser,
So, a hard-working person who simply hasn't found a job high-paying enough is a "loser"? You just made my point! You lump people who live at home for economic reasons with a bunch of demeaning stereotypes. The difference between those of us who live at home and those who try to compensate for their own lack of self-esteem by bashing us is that our situation is not permanent. However, the bashers will be just as ignorant, hateful, mentally lazy and prejudiced long after we become more successful. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 7:28:24 PM | | I don't even know what to say about that comment. Its just so narrow minded and completely without thought or conscience. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:49:18 AM | | My Ex is 44 and his sister is also 44 living at home all three of them gamble and he can't hold onto his money. When he was at my house his Mother called 4-5 times a day. I couldn't understand it. I liked his Mom she was nice! He would get angry at me cause it cost him money to see me. I paid for All our meal, cooked everything, treated him like a God, manicures pedicures, back rubs. Then one day I went on my computer and he had found out my passwords, and signed into pof to find out he was trying to pick up woman! He then told me he had No intention of moving out of his mothers, I told him good bye. I can understand if you have debts or your parents need you, but come on! If your just Blowing your money at the casino! I just don't get it! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:41:43 PM | As some others have said.... I think people can be quite judgemental about those who live at home when they reach a certain age... However, I don't know what it is like in the States, but in the UK it is becoming more common for people in their late 20's and 30's to be still living at home - because it is so ridiculously expensive to buy or rent property.
I am 30 years old and am living in my parents house - I wouldn't say 'still' at home, because I left home at 18 and returned three years ago. Basically the option was to spend £600 a month (sorry don't know what that is in dollars) on a crappy one bedroom flat or live rent free at home. I have a decent job and have offered to pay rent but my parents are well off and would rather I save up than give money to them - which they don't need... However, a very small two bedroom house in my area (south east of England) costs around ten times my yearly wage... in fact on my own I couldn't even get a mortgage big enough for a one bedroom flat... and I don't want to be wasting a massive chunk of my wage each month renting when there is space here for me.... and my parents like having me here, so as far as I'm concerned it makes sense.
In many parts of the world it is quite normal for people to live with their families when they are older - e.g. in Asia it is very unusual for unmarried people to live alone... I think it's good to remember that if you think these people are useless, lazy etc. you are really in fact writing off the majority of humanity...!! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/29/2007 5:18:27 PM | Good point, I do live at home with my parents. I'm 39 and dad has Parkinson's with psychotic tendencies. I can’t afford a house anyway and had to give up work to help look after him. (its a full time job)
I contribute to the upkeep of the house and cook from time to time, I can’t give mum as much as I like because I’ve a pension to keep payments on and other bills. But I don’t think mum could cope if I left home especially if he fell over. (He does sometimes)
I also have a friend who works to help keep his mum who lives with him, they have a moorage neither could afford on their own!
So listen the rest of you if you don’t know the fact don’t shout your mouth off!
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/30/2007 6:30:49 AM | | I live at home for a couple of reasons, one is my mom is sick and I can't imagine anyone else taking care of her. I have lived very successfully on my own in the past, but at this moment it is about her and her needs. I will say though that if I was in the same situation, being divorced and no kids I would probably at this time consider living at home anyway. We never know how long we are going to have our parents and in a lot of ways it would just make sense to stay with my mom. My childhood was awful at best and it has been great having this time to sort things out with my mom. I am thankful of this time I have with her and I am glad that at some point down the road I will be able to say I am so glad I did instead of "I should have" | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:18:38 AM | | Hey to all living at home, I lost my Mom in November, and then he told me the I was being a Drama Queen when I cried over her! I was told 3 days prior to her death that she would not make it. I came home and cried my eyes out, he said I was being over dramatic, after 4 months he said I should be over it by now! Believe Me givin the chance I would have been with her! He complains about his mother all the time. But I would Not have my Mother doing my laundry, cooking my meals making my lunches, cleaning my room, doing my shopping. While she works a Full time job on her feet all day long at the age of 64. Am I wrong? Oh, His Mom is having problems with her legs because of her job, I would think (silly me) he would want to be keeping her Off her feet till her surgury. Then again I take care of the Elderly, and understand how fragile there care can be. My Mom was fine 2 weeks prior to her surgury. then she was gone! Cherish this time with your parents you never know how long it will last! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/1/2007 3:52:53 PM |
So, a hard-working person who simply hasn't found a job high-paying enough is a "loser"? You just made my point! You lump people who live at home for economic reasons with a bunch of demeaning stereotypes. The difference between those of us who live at home and those who try to compensate for their own lack of self-esteem by bashing us is that our situation is not permanent. However, the bashers will be just as ignorant, hateful, mentally lazy and prejudiced long after we become more successful.
CWLiberal:
A hardworking person is not a loser.
However, ... if a person can't find a job, chances are they are a loser. Especially given the very low unemployment rates, retiring boomers, high productivity/economic growth to name a few. (I'd hate to be categorized as 'ignorant or mentally lazy'.....)
If a person can't live within their means, ...chances are they are a loser. I prefer people who can manage their finances (whether very little or very big) and their life. It is kind of indicative of such things as their planning, decision making capabilities and/or judgment.
From what I've read on this thread---most people are choosing to live at home because it's 'nicer' and for 'economic reasons'. As some have mentioned, credit card debit (uh, that would fall into living beyond one's means), student loans (I guess the repayment amount of $50 dollars per month over 15 years is tooo much?), child support/takin' to cleaners..ooops, spousal support (so because of your [poor] decision-making, your parents are now responsible for YOUR [decisions] responsibilities??). Apparently, as the previous poster pointed out, some don't much like to live alone--um, how about a cat, dog, fish maybe? If this is the case, I would hate to have to go out of town on business or for personal reasons cause my 'honey' can't be left 'alone' (read needy).
It's not that we have 'superiority complexes' ..we have those 'grown up' thoughts. Kind of like when you were 16 and didn't quite understand what your parents were talking about and didn't think they knew what they were talking about until you got older and got some experience.....well, atleast some of us got some experience (while others just got older).
Lucky for some that to 'become more successful' isn't difficult or far to go. When you're at the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:23:03 PM |
CWLiberal:
A hardworking person is not a loser.
It sounds like you agree with me that hardworking people who live at home later in life are NOT losers.
However, ... if a person can't find a job, chances are they are a loser. Especially given the very low unemployment rates, retiring boomers, high productivity/economic growth to name a few. (I'd hate to be categorized as 'ignorant or mentally lazy'.....)
If a person can't live within their means, ...chances are they are a loser. I prefer people who can manage their finances (whether very little or very big) and their life. It is kind of indicative of such things as their planning, decision making capabilities and/or judgment.
It seems like you are contradicting yourself here. In the first paragraph, you admitted that hardworking people are not losers. Here, you are saying that those who are unemployed or have credit card debt are losers, even though many of these people are hardworking people. When somebody uses a hateful word like "loser" to describe people who aren't successful , chances are that person is ignorant and mentally lazy.
From what I've read on this thread---most people are choosing to live at home because it's 'nicer' and for 'economic reasons'. As some have mentioned, credit card debit (uh, that would fall into living beyond one's means), student loans (I guess the repayment amount of $50 dollars per month over 15 years is tooo much?), child support/takin' to cleaners..ooops, spousal support (so because of your [poor] decision-making, your parents are now responsible for YOUR [decisions] responsibilities??). Apparently, as the previous poster pointed out, some don't much like to live alone--um, how about a cat, dog, fish maybe? If this is the case, I would hate to have to go out of town on business or for personal reasons cause my 'honey' can't be left 'alone' (read needy).
Again, you are contradicting yourself. A lot of people who made bad decisions are working hard to fix their lives. By the way, people have student loans because they went to school and worked their asses off to get their education and degree. According to your first paragraph, NOT losers. On the spousal support issue you brought up, there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there who try to avoid paying child support any way they can. But hey, at least they don't live at home, right? I suppose, to some women, a deadbeat dad is better than a "mama's boy" who pays his child support.
It's not that we have 'superiority complexes' ..we have those 'grown up' thoughts. Kind of like when you were 16 and didn't quite understand what your parents were talking about and didn't think they knew what they were talking about until you got older and got some experience.....well, atleast some of us got some experience (while others just got older).
Actually, being "grown up" is not about economic success. In fact, I would say that some of the other posters who live at home are actually some of the more mature people on this thread! The people I respect the most are the ones who don't need to bash others in order to make themselves feel superior. They are confident enough in themselves that they don't need to.
Lucky for some that to 'become more successful' isn't difficult or far to go. When you're at the bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.
And lucky for some that to become more mature, tolerant and compassionate won't be difficult or far to go. When you are full of judgment and hate for those who are different, there is nowhere to go but up. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:05:22 PM | Man I only WISH I had cool parents who would let me live at home again.. ahhh the good ole days... *stares off into the distance* carefree, debtfree, FREE! What the hell did I want to get outta there so fast for, LOL!  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/9/2007 8:43:10 PM | | All this talk of leaving the nest. Get a life. Stand on your own feet... I do all that and it is NOT easy. Don't judge the ones that are still at home. If your ex is still living at home I don't think that's your business. He's your ex right. Don't give him another thought. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/9/2007 10:27:58 PM | | "any 1 who has trouble getting a job is a loser" THE IGNORANCE OF PPL MAKES ME F UCKING CRAZY!! *breathes* ok....you dont have any idea what that persons situation is...none what so ever....it is a fact that some ppl are too stupid to live..i am 1 of them..but im here and im not about to kill myself so all i can do is my best...i have a good job now...BUT i was unemployed living at home for 5 years and i COULDNT get a job...the only reason i have 1 now is because of my dad...the point is i had the best of intentions i wasnt lazy i am a hard worker...i live at home now at 25 ill be living here at 35 because i do not have the cognitive ability to live on my own....i know im f ucked but when some 1 implies im a loser when they dont have any f ucking idea who i am it p isses me off....how about i start making stereotypical judgments such as ANY GIRL UNDER 25 WHO HAS MORE THAN 1 KID IS OBVIOUSLY A SLUT....EVERY SINGLE MOTHER IS OBVIOUSLY A SLUT reasoning tells us if you have kids by a random guy we must deduce you are a whore right?? UHH ANY WOMAN WHO BARES CLEAVAGE IS OBVIOUSLY A SLUT....ANY GUY WHO WATCHES FOOTBALL IS A PIG.....now tell me how that feels?? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 6/10/2007 1:39:01 AM | | I guess if we have never looked out the window on the rest of the world we would think we have things better here in north america. I think we are missing something though. Look to Europe where generational homes are quite common. Older people contribute to families just as younger ones do. If you can't stand the thought of someone living with their family then maybe you shouldn't assume that they'd want to be committed to someone who thinks families are better when kept at a distance. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:34:29 PM | Being European, I find nothing wrong with living with your family, thats how I was brought up and that's how its done. I'm 29, I live at home with both my folks and I have no plans to move out. We have no family here in Canada, they're all back home, so family is number one in our books. Our mortgage was paid off 4 years ago, which I also help pay off. Since then we've all had the money and time to do what we'd like. I've still lived the same life as someone who lives on their own lives. I pay my bills, cook my own food, do my own laundry, get my own groceries etc etc.
I have been criticized by people, but I stand by the decisions I've made. Unlike the American culture , where your out of the house when your eighteen, Europeans do things differently. Plus, I don't feel as though I should have to impress anyone with the way I live my life. I do what's best for me, not whats best for everyone else.
I personally think it really comes down to how people where brought up by their parents, their values and ethics. Your views on topic such as this will be in disagreement if your parents made you work to understand the "value" of money when you were sixteen. I could have worked at McDonald's when I was younger, but my parents wanted me to concentrate on my education and enjoy my childhood. They were doing what parents are suppose to do, be parents.
Some people aren't fortunate enough to get decent paying jobs to live on their own when they graduate, or even five years after. Now when I say decent money, I mean minimum of 15/hr, because we all know you can't really "live" off anything less. Unless you want to live pay check to pay check, and your good with minimum wage, your done for. How about those who are students that have courses to pay for? Last time I looked most courses take at least three or four years of college, and even when you graduate college your still not guaranteed a job. Gonna be tough working two jobs to pay the bills, to eat and pay for schooling. Oh right I forgot, then you have to pay off all those student loans. Guess you won't be buying a house anytime soon, especially with the prices of housing now a days.
There is no right or wrong way to live life, some are born into rich families and others are just others. In the end we all have learn how to play and accept the hands we're dealt. | |
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