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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:29:25 AM | I am 31 and moved back in with my parents in June. I have two disabled children, work, and attend college part time (will finish my degree this semester).
Do I HAVE to live with my parents? No. It is a decision my mother and I came to. My parents have moderate health problems, and I prefer my children to be cared for by family, because of their disabilities.
Our situation works for us. Do I really care if someone has an issue with it? Nope. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. My opinion is that is that if someone is going to judge me negatively for living with my parents without getting to know me, then I don't really want to know that person anyways, do I? | |
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EdmIT
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Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 477 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/18/2008 12:17:20 PM | | Well, the issue is finances, really. Very few people at age 30 can afford to actually buy a place, so everyone has to rent. I'm not sure if you have seen the rent prices lately or the vast lack of properties in which to rent - but at any rate, renting is basically throwing your money away - so living at home until you have enough money to at the very least put a downpayment on a place is a better option. Sure, it feels great for your ego to move out away from your parents but personally, I’d rather get a bit of a head start in building a solid financial foundation. But hey, if you’re single, never married, and in your 30's and live at home, I think there is nothing wrong with that at all as long as contributions to your livelihood are being made. As a sociologist (by degree), I know it has been researched by the government that over 50% of Canadians aged 20-30 are still living at mommy and daddy’s...so I don't think it's really an issue I'd get worked up about. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:21:14 PM | I couldn't care less if someone lives at home with their parents. One of my good friends has stayed at home because he's been raising his daughter since she was born (mom took off, he was 19). He pays more rent to his parents then he would if he lived on his own, but he has them to help out with his daughter.
Another guy I am absolutely crazy about lives at home because he went back to school and is saving his money for a house.
And I MYSELF live at home. I lost a TON of money thanks to my business partner. I had a talk with my parents before I opted out and they welcomed me back. Their support gave me the courage to get out of a bad situation. Without their help I have no idea what I would have done or where I'd be right now.
I really think that people who have a problem with situations like these are just jealous. Didn't have a good relationship with your parents? Or would they just not help you out? I won't apologize for having awesome, supportive parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:28:08 PM | I just got out of living with my parents as they helped me get back on my feet. Shortly after I left I quit my job due to conflicts with my supervisor (I only worked directly under one). I had thought about moving back in, but they had enough with me. I did my share plus I also paid rent for them. Heck, I was eating more food and such.
I can somehow understand why women don't like to see guys in their 30's still living at home. Obviously they want someone successful and sef-sufficient, but guys see it like a catch-22: If they see women who don't want a guy that is 30 or older and still lives at home, that tells them that those particular women are more likely to drop them if the guy's situation turns bad where they need to move back in with the 'rents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:15:01 AM | I agree with you, some families are close and just because their kids are over a certain age does not mean they should move out for that reason. Some of us care for our parent or parents, went back to college, or many other reasons. I would prefer to be on my own in my own house, but lets face it...who can afford it on a single income? There's just no reason to judge each other's living accomodations, we're mature enough to understand that life is different for us all. Just accept the person for WHO they not rather than where they live.
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:57:56 AM | | Doesn't bother me. I'm 31 and I live at home. I have my privacy. I help with the bills. They help me. Nothing wrong with it. I went home after a bad bad breakup and then they helped me through a long period of grief after I lost my best friend and boyfriend in 2004. I moved out briefly, but I just wasn't ready to give up having such a good home life with my folks -they're great people, and I don't like living alone very much since my cat died, too. | |
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DSW77
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Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 482 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/1/2008 1:49:40 PM | Nothing wrong with it....my moms single and on disability do to a hip replacement and severe arthiritus, I pay my way! and some! plus do all the physical work, lawn cutting, snow removal, house repairs e.t.c. e.t.c....plus Grandma and step Grandpa live right across the street so I do alot of chores for them also, I work fulltime also 40+ hours week and make enough money to take care of myself no problem! I learnt a long time ago never to judge people until you know the whole situation....Now! there are those over 30 that are living at home who never work, pay there way, and are just lazy!! thats a totally different situation! If I met the right women we would work things out....but I would let them know....my family always comes first! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:03:22 PM | | I'm over 30 and I moved home back in June of 07, My parents disabilities reached a point where there was just to many things that they couldn't do any more. It came down to a choice of coming home to help or having some stranger move in with my parents. Wasn't a terribly tough choice. I've done a ton of reno on the house so I basicly have a basement suite to my self and both my parents and I get the comfort of knowing that I'm here to help. I even managed find a job I enjoy close by that understands my situation and I can be home in minutes in a emergency. You can't always judge a person living at home without knowing the whole story. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:15:00 PM | | I'm 32 and moved back home about two years ago because of a divorce one year ago and also because I got sick. I am disabled now and am living at home purely for financial reasons plus I am attending university. My goal is to be out in at least one year. We'll see if that happens. This has nothing to do with my intellectual or emotional maturity. I still have a life and am involved and active. I don't just sit back and "enjoy the ride." I'm actually embarassed to be living at home. None of my friends from college, the first time around, have lived or currently live with their parents after moving out and being on their own for such a lengthy period of time. I am finally getting my life back together, for it was a very serious illness and a messy divorce. I don't think I need to grow up and I definitely don't need people telling me that I'm lazy because my parents can afford to help me out right now. People should lighten up and just accept people for who they are and what they're going through. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/4/2008 4:09:21 AM | | Amen. My mother is in her late 60's and her health is not the greatest. I don't mind being here to help them out, since my 4 other brothers and sisters all live so far away. And like I said before, they've helped me out immensely in the past. Just a heads up - some of us don't live at home for free, either - we pay bills and rent. Which in my case, I pay rent because I live in an apartment upstairs from my parents. It's just cheaper. When it comes to dating and I explain that I live with my parents or upstairs from them, it's as though a light bulb just burned out. I could move away if I wanted to, but I don't want to. If I meet a man, and we want to get married, I'd move out and if he lives with his folks, all the better - this just means we've saved more money toward our own house and don't have any frivolous bills! People should totally realize the situation before making judgment. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/8/2008 8:00:56 PM | I just cringe reading some of these posts. I'm 32 and work full time 50 hours a week. I pay my own bills and manage my own financial affairs, but I'm still living at home for several reasons. My father is in his 70's and has had his share of health problems, so I try to take care of things around home for him. I mow the lawn in the summer, plow snow in the winter, maintain their vehicles, do home repairs for them, and so on. I'm also trying to put away money for the future so I can buy my own business someday.
Yes, it has caused me problems with dating in the past. I just met a really great girl who I've been talking on the phone with for the past week; possibly one of the nicest, most down to earth girls I've ever met and I'm scared to death of telling her about my living situation because she's two years younger and owns her own home. | |
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DSW77
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Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 487 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:00:48 AM | | shyguy 1975 tell her!....any women who dos'nt respect you for taking care of your dad isn't worth your time! she should respect you for doing that! I could see if a person lived in dads basement and did'nt work e.t.c.. and lived off his dads pension...well thats a totally different situation....I'am really SICK of people judging others! WHO ARE THEY TOO JUDGE!!! WHO ARE YOU! YOUR NOT GOD!!! sorry if I sound bitter!..lol | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/24/2008 5:54:03 PM | | what do you do when your mother's health gets in too bad of shape that she has a problem getting around? what do you do when your mother could use help to pay some of the bills? IM SORRY BUT NO MATTER HOW SO CALLED "IMATURE" IT IS. FAMILY WILL ALWAYS MEAN MORE TO ME THAN THAT. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/15/2008 11:01:33 PM | Rembrandt lived at home in his 40s.... Maybe some of us are just trying to break his record? 
Who cares what the others may think? They are brainwashed and are afraid of their own mortality. We are all here for a very short time and these we love are the last thoughts and feelings we will have as we die - if we are lucky! Home, is truly where the heart is - take care of each other.
Anyone "asking" is telling you more about themselves then you may ever tell them. Ask them why they want to know and feel sorry for their shame they have been taught to feel about it. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/16/2008 10:52:56 AM | Im 31, i lived alone with girlfriends and by myself since i was 17 years old. I decided to take a job in another city, and sublet my home to my mother and step dad. I moved back to my home city and moved back into my sublet home with my parents. We split everything 3 ways, we feel like whats the point of living seperate? We save money, we have the room, me and my step dad play music together nightly...
Whenever i date and people know i live with my parents they automatically assume im jobless, irresponsible, and co-dependant. Fact is, this living situation is good for our pocket books, and is a time saver (i dont travel to play music, our studio is in our home saving us travel time to get to each other), we camp at the same camping place, i can do what i want and have who i want over, the benefits outweigh everything and im happy with this life. However judgemental people who cant see beyond a sentence without judging who someone is dont see this side of it, and automatically assume the worst...
What i dont get is why people judge others badly who decide to stay with their parents. Sure i can see someone looking down on you for not working, not being responsible, having to ask permission from them constantly, but if you do it because its convenient, you love your family, you do things together and prefer not to live alone, why anyone frowns on that.
In arab cultures families tend to live together until their child is married, they take care of each other and help each other like family should, in north america, your better to be "alone" then to enjoy the benefits of your families, and i beleive thats why most of us in the west treat each other like crap, and why people are genuinely cold towards each other.
We could learn alot from other cultues who value family and their worth and i plead with people to reconsider your thought about people who wish to remain close to their family in a healthy family setting. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:22:15 PM | It seem that nowadays its become more common and common. I would say 10 years ago, if this occurs, everyone will have the same attitude as how weak and feeble can they get. But as we all know the living expense has double over the years, and some are just isn't capable to handle it with the current trend.
I'm one of the statistics as well, Over 30 and staying at my mom's place. Just got out of the military. Without a job in the horizon and the timing of the unemployment market at the high end. Its doesn't seem like a great timing for me to be out of the military. But I got a ailing mother to worry about, I can't afford to missed out on family anymore with the military. Family will comes first, I made the choice and here I bind to it. Unlike some people, who shrugged off their first family responsibility once they got married! (its another story) I'm sure I'm not alone with this situation. Other people here are in similar situations, we make what dues, and take care our family members as they once take care of us.
ahhh right, my point being, situation occurs that keep family closed at one. Beside if you see oversea in Europe. Especially in Italian, Spanish, or Asian countries, the common trend is that family stay together no matter what. The only time they do live away from their family, would be moving to a different part of town for employment or such.
Anyways just putting my two cents in!  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:30:15 AM | It took me a while to get my crap together and get out. And I am wholly embarassed by how I let my life play out. I made serious changes but it did take WAY too long. There is a lot that I missed out on in life because of it.
Simply put, I didn' take charge of my situation. I was pretty ignorant about a lot of things, how to make my own life work. Part of it was my family actually hanging on to ME because my folks are older and not active. I was actually discouraged by my father who seemed to think I should always live under his roof. But the greater responsibility fell on me to move forward and I didn't understand that back then.
Even after I finally got out , my mother still lays the occassional guilt trip on me about "family always helps family" when I tell I can't come over to do some task.
Truth is you don't get treated like a grown-up until you get out. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:00:57 PM | Well I am from the still living at home side of the fence. There are advantages and disadvantages to both. For me it is a cultural thing, being Italian :), plus I got along with my parents and have my own space and privacy.
I help out with the bills, groceries etc and still am able to save money for the future. Plus now that my mom is in her 70s she needs more help around the house. I don't see why I wouldn't help her out.
Most guys have not had any problem with it, but then again most guys I met were European :), I say don't pre-judge, there could be a whole bunch of reasons people still live at home.
Now, I know lots of guys who read this will automatically cringe, but thats ok, that just means we are not compatible and it is good to know from the beginning | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/24/2008 2:03:12 PM | | The only reason I'm still at home is the price of rent and property even several miles away. The greed of others has brought about the situation. I have had to move back twice due to changes in finances and situations but that doesn't stop the hunt for the next way out. | |
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