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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:25:32 PM | you know... who ****ing cares is someone lives at home with their parents... that is absolutely the most ridiculous dating concern I have ever heard of... to me it sounds like the ones that are putting down the ones that live with their parents lack a certain amount of maturity and it has been my experience that when someone is putting someone down for living with their parents, it is more often than not coming from an individual that got kicked out of their parents house for a any one of a myriad of reasons... it is those people that make someone elses living arrangement their business that need to grow up and face the fact that they are responsible for themselves and their own business...
food for thought... Prince Charles was the world's most eligible bachelor and probably had and still has all kinds of women throwring themselves at him... guess what, he lived at home with mom and dad all his life AND STILL DOES! so tell me then why I have never heard anyone put down and ridicule Prince Charles?
this thread is absolutely assinine... grow the **** up... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:19:42 PM | I moved in with my mother a little over 3 years ago when my (now ex) husband failed to come home for 6 weeks. At the time I had no job, no money, a two year old and I was 3 months pregnant.
I don't quite feel like an "adultecent" since I contribute to the bills, pay for my car, insurance, cell phone, gas, stuff the kids need (no child support unfortunatly). I do the cooking and the cleaning since I work part time and my mom works full time (I think that makes me the wife lol).
Fortunatly she owns a 4 bedroom home (thanks to my dads crappy lawyer)
and with our schedules, we really don't see much of each other.
It is nice to know there is another caring adult in the house if my kids are working my last nerve. It means I can run to the store and unfrazzle for 10 minutes and leave them home, or go take my own "time out" in my bedroom. It means when my sister in law was assaulted and in the hospital, I was able to say there three days straight until she died. And when my father in law went into a diabetic coma last wednesday and my mother in law called me, hysterical, I could drop what I was doing and go to the hospital.
Why would I want to live on my own? just for the sake of beng able to say I live on my own in a crappy apartment and have to have food stamps to make ends meet? No thanks. I'd rather live in a beautiful home with a fenced in acre, swing set and hot tub with a parent who loves me and my kids :) | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/31/2008 7:10:18 PM | | Well I'm not quite 30 yet, but I to also currently live with a parent. With todays economy it can be rough to live on my own. I don't have children, however my mom and I try to help each other out financially when we can. There's been periods when one of us doesn't have a job and the other one does, and we can help pay things this way. Laura's right, why live off the government just to say you live on your own when you can live with someone you can trust. :) Me personally, I know my mother isn't going to steal from me, dump me, or me dump her lol or plot around on my back like my last ex-roommate/ex girlfriend did when I lived out west. Also being in and out of college it has its advantages, a quiet place to study, etc. I've been on my own and had the "emotional growth" in the form of lots of hell and hardship living on my own. Yeah it was worth it, and I'd prefer to be on my own because I like my own space and by the end of the year I might be on my own. However, there's advantages to living with parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:39:54 PM | | This makes me laugh when I hear about it and know people still doing it at my age considering I have been on my own since the age of 17. Then again, maybe there is a very good reason behind it, who knows? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 3:41:53 AM | | Judging people in this sort of situation requires careful analysis of context. True, some people who do so are probably lazy, but given the costs of housing and also the recent credit crunch and the consequent foreclosures on people who can't pay their mortgage, I think it will become increasingly common for more than one generation to share the same house. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 8:15:17 AM | I think it depends on the situation.
There are some situations where it's a beautiful thing and would actually be attractive to me - a man helping to care for his aging parents shows his maturity, generosity, and love.
There are also some cultures where it's expected for men and women to stay home until they get married. I also find this appealing as it can show a stronger sense of family, can help the parents/family financially, and it can allow the adult to save up enough money to get their own home and become fully established without needing to come back later.
However, the times when I've found it distasteful is when it's an adult who's growth has been permanently stunted and they're co-dependant with their parent(s) and/or they're just dependant on their parents and don't want to be responsible.
I would be open to a relationship with the first 2, but not the last one. You can't know which situation it is until you get to know the person. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:06:05 AM | Interesting topic.
I was lucky. I prolonged moving out (commuted to college) until age 25. Saved a ton of money. Now I am 34 & still living on my own.
However, I completely understand many people in their 20s & 30s + living at home. Many reasons: harsh economic times, divorse, caring for a loved ones, injury, family business, etc. I think what matters is whether you are responsible, mature, independent, treat people with respect, etc. After you pass away, people initially remember you based on how you treated them. Financial security and a house are great but not everything. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:25:04 AM | I think given today's socioeconomic climate the rebound family syndrome or living in an extended family situation, is common, so long as it's not an issue of boomerang children living off of their parents, then really, this sort of thing can only be judged on a case by case situation...
Suz. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 2:01:43 PM | | I agree with SamuraiPixie, however the one's I have come a cross 30 + still living or long living with parent/s are just leeches and bums. As always I love it when men show their true colors off the bat, saves me time and much future irritation and this is one of the issues I will avoid (if there is no real reason to still be living with the folks). | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 7:48:38 PM | i'm 39 years old and yes i live at home still. I went to college and never found a good job with good medical benefits. i work but don't make that much and I have a lot of medical bills.
i got off disability about 2 years ago. There are no good jobs on Long Island and I've given
up looking for one. All of you judgemental people who got lucky and can even find work-good for you. there no need to glout over the people who have next to nothing. And most of the men on long island that are single are handicapped in some way and they won't even pay for a soda on a date. Men are the provider and a women contributes to the income but men are the legally the head of household. I don't understand how people can even afford rent on long island in a decent neighborhood when I look at my paycheck and my 60.00 a week health benefits fees that I pay. Whenever I get a good job they move out of new york and I get laid
off. this has happened to me three times. So sometimes it's live at home or live on the street.
I'm applying for section 8 housing and someday those of you who make fun of people who live at home with their parents after 30 will fall on hard times and see what you do for a place to live. And men in new york have to grow up and learn to pay for a few dates instead of having the women pay the rent, pay for health benefits, the car, the food, and the gas and the utilities after they get married. It is sad that so many men were raised by women who taught them that being a loser and a deadbeat dad is acceptable and the way to be.
So stay at home if you like after 30. You might inherit the earth some day if you are humble
and meek and don't forget to make some great memories with the rest of the working poor on long island. Stay close to your family and the hell with what people think. If you are single just have a good time with your friends and forgot what other people's opinion are.
Some people take for granted what they have but when they lose it don't worry they will go home also. who cares what people think? I certainly don't . I have to go now I have to fill
out my welfare paperwork and section 8 housing application so i can someday move out of my parents house and into a welfare housing project in new york on long island and there is a long list of people like me waiting for an opening. When someone dies on welfare, they have to fill that open space. See you all in the section 8 nursing home at 85 years of age. You can give your money to the state. I'm getting in free! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/16/2008 2:25:01 PM | I've been out and on my own since 17. Uncle Sam became my surrogate family.
I'm sorry, but if you are living at home with "Mommy and Daddy" and are over the age of 24, you need to get a grip, grow up and move out into the real world.
I have a child that is nearing 20 that is permanently disabled, so she will live with me for the rest of my life chances are, but that's at least understandable. What disgusts me are these freeloading kids that come back to feed from the teat after their parents have already done their jobs raising these people into so called adults. Why should they continue well into adulthood?
They shouldn't. Chances are, these "Adult children" are co-dependant in some sort of way and need some serious counseling. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/16/2008 2:43:27 PM |
i'm 39 years old and yes i live at home still. I went to college and never found a good job with good medical benefits. i work but don't make that much and I have a lot of medical bills. i got off disability about 2 years ago. There are no good jobs on Long Island and I've given up looking for one. All of you judgemental people who got lucky and can even find work-good for you. there no need to glout over the people who have next to nothing. And most of the men on long island that are single are handicapped in some way and they won't even pay for a soda on a date. Men are the provider and a women contributes to the income but men are the legally the head of household. I don't understand how people can even afford rent on long island in a decent neighborhood when I look at my paycheck and my 60.00 a week health benefits fees that I pay. Whenever I get a good job they move out of new york and I get laid off. this has happened to me three times. So sometimes it's live at home or live on the street. I'm applying for section 8 housing and someday those of you who make fun of people who live at home with their parents after 30 will fall on hard times and see what you do for a place to live. And men in new york have to grow up and learn to pay for a few dates instead of having the women pay the rent, pay for health benefits, the car, the food, and the gas and the utilities after they get married. It is sad that so many men were raised by women who taught them that being a loser and a deadbeat dad is acceptable and the way to be. So stay at home if you like after 30. You might inherit the earth some day if you are humble and meek and don't forget to make some great memories with the rest of the working poor on long island. Stay close to your family and the hell with what people think. If you are single just have a good time with your friends and forgot what other people's opinion are. Some people take for granted what they have but when they lose it don't worry they will go home also. who cares what people think? I certainly don't . I have to go now I have to fill out my welfare paperwork and section 8 housing application so i can someday move out of my parents house and into a welfare housing project in new york on long island and there is a long list of people like me waiting for an opening. When someone dies on welfare, they have to fill that open space. See you all in the section 8 nursing home at 85 years of age. You can give your money to the state. I'm getting in free!
Free on our tax dollars.
I was homeless after I got out of the Army. Lived in my car, got some meaningless work, was on welfare for less than a year and had enough ambition to get off of my ass and motivate myself to find better employment, obtain additional schooling and make a better life for myself that did NOT include living off of my parents.
A permanent disability or attending college is one thing, but to think that living at home with the folks for the rest of your life or to go onto welfare for the rest of your life because you "Can't make it" in the real world is a load of malarkey.
If you can't find gainful employment in one state or city, then move to one in which you can find it.
There is nothing wrong with a woman being independent. Women fought long and hard to have equal rights to their male counterparts and should be considered a Male's equal in the work place, the home and in life in general. Men should expect to participate equally in child rearing, household chores and other things in the home. I've done it, so can they.
To say that all men in New York can't treat a woman right, I think, is a false statement. I have many male friends that work in NYC and for NYC as municipal employees that have wives and girlfriends and I've seen them treat women as their equals.
You are entitled to your opinon and have the freedom of speech, but in my own, honest opinion, you need to stop making yourself appear as a victim of life and do something to make yourself a marketable, productive member of society.
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/16/2008 3:46:57 PM | ladyofletters "Got lucky...good jobs" ???
I worked my tail off with piss ant jobs to keep my own thanks.
When I couldn't handle the load I had roommates until I could get back on my own. I never had to return to mommy and daddy and I am most proud of that! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:56:21 AM | | I first moved out when I was 20. I honestly can't imagine why a young adult would never want to live on one's own..and if they are they better be helping out in some way But with many aging parents and the struggling economy, expect to see more 25-year-olds and older even at home. I am on my own now, with my daughter and a roomie, but I moved back in after my divorce for a while. I did my own cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/17/2008 2:56:08 PM | | I honestly dont see why anyone would want to live under someone elses roof, dont you feel useless? Get off your ass and do something, quit being a LEECH. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:43:15 PM | Yep. Agreed! Leeches and bums who sponge off Daddy and Mommy are no good -- be they 18 or 48. There's this whole subculture now of 20+ and 30+ people out there who live off their parent's money, playing video games and having pajama parties like they were 12 or something.
Man, I often wonder what will happen to those people when the money stops or the parents die.
As long as the person has a job and contributes a good chunk of money and labor to the welfare of the house, it doesn't matter to me if they live with their parents or not.
And yeah, when the leech tells us they're mowing the lawn once a month and taking out the garbage... that's not enough, they're still moochers. If that's all they're going to contribute to the running of that household, they better think again.
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/18/2008 5:21:33 PM | | So I dont think that in certain situations that is a bad thing. I lost my house when my Ex wife left. So I moved in with my father, and we agreed that i would buy his house when i could get a loan and, that he would have a room at the house in case his girlfriend kicked him out. Well with the morgage mess we are in right now it looks like it will be a while for me to be able to get that loan. But i pay the bills, and have put alot of time and money into the house to make it better so that it would apparaise for more. My father is there 4 hours a week to get and, do his bills. But in general I would think that it is strange to be 30+ and still living with your parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/22/2008 5:56:41 PM | | It seems some people here are insecure with themselves so they want to put down others to make themselves feel better. Shame on you. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/23/2008 2:22:51 AM | Man, it is quite amazing the stark contrasting opinions here. One thing for sure, the AMERICANS really cant get over this concept that you have to be on your own after 18. LOL. Im mean, ITS INGRAINED!!! LOL. And ya know , I sense a strong resentment about this issue from those who are beating their chests in self pride about living on their own. If you are living on your own then great. Go pat yoruself on the back and if it makes you feel better, go buy yourself some award or something. Personally, I think many of those who are judgemental on this issue are jealous. Why else do you have such fervor in your criticisms about how wrong it is, even in cases where there is no mooching occuring. I mean, its no skin off their back, yet they act like its affecting them personally. LOL. Its jealouosy to the max! Its a resentment of , "I busted my ass on a limited budget to fully support myself, those living at home must be mooching and having the easy life, Dam them!!!" But really, many people livng at home are busting their ass at work just as hard if not harder than those who live on their own.
Well, me and my best friend , and his 37 yr old sister all live at home. And one motto he and I have always lived by,......and that motto is that we refuse to live our lives to satisfy society's rules, and we never will. For those who **** and complain about guys like us living at home into adult hood, we just flip you the middle finger and go on about our lives. Hell, I was making $80K per year over the last 6 years. Could I have gotten my own place, hell yea. But did I see a reason to do so, hell no! My plan is to stay here until I have a REASON to move out, and that reaosn will be marrriage. Ya see, my mom's 4500 sq ft, $800K house is fully paid off. So, its no skin off her back whether im here or not, and in fact, as she is 72 yrs old, she gains a sense of security with my prescense, and has someone to keep her company to boot. I pay my own bills except what she would have to pay for whether I was here or not. Why would I want to leave this million dollar house for a cramped apartment? Just so i can follow the AMERICANS style of societal rules and expectations? WTF? Screw that!Americans have alot things wrong with them , one including their poor family values. We americans have a tendency of dumping our granparents into senior homes like they were nothing, and we divorce like there's no tommorrow. I have observed with my own eyes how my asian and spanish friends are real close to their families , they live under the same roof together , yes, into adulthood, and are always getting together, they dont need a holiday as an excuse to do so. And I see how foreign families will go the extra mile to help each other out. Americans are f'd up when it comes to family values, so who do they think they are when they claim that an adult living at home is pathetic. Especially considering that most of the world does it. Americans are the outsiders here.
And for all you american ladies out there who have an issue with it, no worries. I dont want to date you either cause you are just showing your ignorance in how you measue a man. Ill be just as happy to find myself a foreign lady (overseas if necessary) who deserves my love, who instead of caring about my living arrangement, cares more about my heart, my character, how i treat others, whether Id make a good husband and father. The same American woman who would judge a guy for that is likely the same kind of woman who lists minimum income requirements for their match on dating sites, thus puts a price tag on love because of their materialism, and who are generally materialistic, demanding, and hard to please. Many American woman are simply JUDGEMENTAL. Seriously folks, they are. I find foreign ladies to be very accepting of who the man is and his situation. In fact, I never have any comments from foreign girls about my living at home. ONLY the AMERICAN woman. Many American woman are also hard to please. They tend to list all these demands and requirements in their dating profile match about how a man must be. Asian woman on the other hand are HUMBLE and accept people for who they are. Asian ladies arent asking for how much a man makes on their dating profiles either. (DISCLAIMER- I realize not all american woman do this, but most do). My point is, its typical that americans would make such harsh judgemental criticisms over this living at home issue. Its in their nature. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/23/2008 2:31:38 AM | "Ref: It seems some people here are insecure with themselves so they want to put down others to make themselves feel better. Shame on you."
Amen brotha!! Its a form of resentment and it DOES in fact make themselves feelbetter. Its human nature to put downothers to make oneself feel better. We pulled this crap as kids in school, and even into adult hood, we are still doing that. Again, it doesnt affect them so why should they care? They should only care if someone is mooching, as in, taking away from the parents, or if the parents would prefer to live alone. But when you have situations where the parents also enjoy the arrangement, and there is no negative to the son or daughter being there, then people need to STFU. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/24/2008 9:31:38 AM | i will be still living at home during the 10 months course of my schooling but eventually I *do* plan on moving out and figured out the next step for me.
should have done it a long time ago though. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/24/2008 1:59:12 PM | Hello everyone,
I agree with Steve2600 and what he said. Most "American" women, all they care about is how much money you make,what type of house do you have, what kind of car do you drive, and how big is your "thing". They generally are materialistic and do not care what is inside of a man's heart. Of course there are women like that in every country, but I tend to see it more from the American women.
Yes, I am over 30, 36 to be exact and live with my parents. My situation, from 1988 my sophmore year in highschool I had a part-time,minimum wage job untill after I graduated highschool then it became fulltime minimum wage job. But I still was not able to save enough to get my own place. Then I got another job which payed a littler more money, but I was still not able to save up to get my own place. Then I was laid off and was out of work for a couple of years and was unable to obtain a job. After about 2-3 years I was finaly able to get another job. It was a fulltime/parttime job depending on how busy they were. I was still unable to afford to get a place of my own. I had that job for close to 4 years. I got laid off do to a slow down in business. I was out of work again for about 3 years. Unable to obtain gainfull employment. Yes I was out looking and puting in applications. Then in 2000 I got a job paying $7.25 /hr working full time. I work there for over a year and a half. Then I got sick and was out of work for 3 months. Went back to work for about 9-10 months and then was released/fired. I was fired because: When I took extra material to be put back, the person whose job it was told me to shove it up my "F"ing ass. Well, my boss saw that I was a little upset about that and yelled at me for having an"attitude". I had an "attitude" because my clipboard was jabbing me in the thigh and I went to push it back and it ended up flying off the forklift. Well I told my boss that "I would not have an attitude if people would keep telling me to shove things up my "F"ing rear every time I take stuff back to them! If they do not stop I will kill them!" Of course I was blowing off steam. But at that time there were a lot of work place violence incidents and I was fired. Ever since then I have not been able to get another job. That has been 5 years ago.
When I was working I paid my bills and even helped with my parents bills. I would pay toward the phone bill, the cable bill, and help buy groceries. But now that I do not have a job I cannot help with the bills like I used to.
I wish I could afford a placce of my own, but like so many other people have mentioned, with the economy crashing and the housing market the way it was and is now. It is hard for people to afford decent homes or appartments.
I feel the American family would be better, if we did like a lot of other families in other countries do. The children stay home until they get married, or even after they get married. I feel that the family unit would be much stronger than what it is now. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:37:23 AM | | I do not care how much money anyone makes. What I do care about is that someone has the mantality, responsibility and the ability to live alone and pay their own bills. Yes, the economy sucks. Then what it means is sometimes you may have to cut back on something to afford another thing. If I as a single woman can find a job, get scholarships, go to College full time and pay rent in an apartment, why can't you? As far as dating goes, if I am in a relationship with someone, I would like to have them come over or me go see them, without mommy and daddy watching us. If I want to have sex on the kitchen table at 3 in the afternoon with my boyfriend on his lunch break, it would be nice to do so (And no, I am not kidding.) Not say "gee babe, we can't. My mom and dad are in the other room watching tv." You want good family values? Make you own family, but stop living off and with yours. And I will not be the one in the relationship with the apartment/home, bills and let you come over to see me to get away from mommy and daddy either. Works both ways until we live together. Not to mention, it really shows me you can handle stress and the reality of having your own place.Time to get of the sugar teat guys....:) | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:51:01 PM | Many American woman are simply JUDGEMENTAL. Seriously folks, they are. I find foreign ladies to be very accepting of who the man is and his situation. In fact, I never have any comments from foreign girls about my living at home. ONLY the AMERICAN woman.
Ill be just as happy to find myself a foreign lady (overseas if necessary) who deserves my love, who instead of caring about my living arrangement, cares more about my heart, my character, how i treat others, whether Id make a good husband and father.
Have you ever considered that these foreign women are super understanding and indiscriminate because maybe, just maybe, they have an agenda? (Like they're trying to get married to ANY American to secure a green card) Just sayin'. | |
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