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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 12:52:35 AM | Yes, I have considered that when I first looked into that idea. Ya see, thats is the typical american belief. LOL. Americans are not very knowledgeableablout these things. So Ill fill you in on the FACTS!! . This link is directly from the US governemnt . The USCIS did congressional study on the subject as to why foreigh ladies marry US/Western men. And to your surprise Im sure, getting a better life or coming to the US wasnt the reason. Their reason in the study was that they have an impression that Western men make better husbands and treat their woman better, and they look more handsome too. Its right in this link, read it .
http://www.uscis.gov/files/article/MobRept_AppendixA.pdf
Also, this US givt study shows that the divorce rate between American men and Asian ladies is only 30%!!! Compare that to Wetsern marriages where it is 50%!! So, I hope that answers your suspicion about them just wanting green cards. If it was all about a green card, there certainly would be more of these woman leaving their men at some point in the marriage, but they dont. These woman only come here because they fall in love with their man. What Americans fail to understand is that many foreign woman value and desire marriage and family. All they ask is that a man be a good father and husband. They arent spoiled and looking for a certain material lifetsyle. In fact, instead of looking for the man to make some kind if minimum income, they look at the situation as a team effort, where both husband and wife work together to make a living.
Also, I hear that the most common cause of divorces in america is money issues. (surprise, surprise) Well, the foreign ladies dont go divorcin their men just because they dont make enough money. The foriegn ladies dont have such high material expectations so they dont think of divorce as an option just because their man isnt making enough money. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 1:42:30 AM | Ouch! This post is exactly what I mean. Such an aggressive hard core JUDGEMENTAL attitude. Foreign ladies would never say anything like this. They wouldnt care, especially about when and where they can have sex. Regarding the sex issue, its likely that one of the two partners in the relationship will have their own place anyways, so go have you sex there if that gets you so bent out of shape. Otherwise, the two of you can both get a place of your own. Two incomes, even if one is low, can make it work.
The thing is, not everyone can make the money you make. Sure, a guy or girl who lives at home for financial reasons can maybe go get a hole in the wall apartment and and share with 3 or 4 other roomates and eat ramen noodles every day, and live in their own, fine. But any loving and caring family wouldnt want or expect that for their loved ones. There is a difference between being lazy and simply not having the ability to earn a certain level of income. We are not all born with the same abilities or intelligence in life. I know people who have gone to technical training schools and medical school or radiology school or law school and simply couldnt pass the curiculum, so they tried but continue to have a low income. Its not like they are lazy or unmotivated. Try having some sympathy for some people's situation instead of assuming they are low lifes or just lazy or undeserving.
So, I guess if a man or woman doesnt make quite enough money to live on their own, depsite them working a full time job(or two) they just dont deserve anyone's love right? Lets just throw them out of society and let them be outcasts. Doesnt matter if they are hard workers, have good values and are of good character and treat people nice?
Again, this is many American womans way of thinking. Many American ladies just dont seem to be able to accept people for who they are and what their situation is.
The idea is that when the two marry or live together, the two incomes together will be enough. You two will have your own place. So none of this should be a major issue. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 2:42:43 AM | Pure plain and simple.....if you are in your 30's or above and living at home, without some kind of extrodinary circumstances.......you are a waste...period. You have not grown-up....you are still not yet an adult. Quit making excuses, quit trying to feel good about yourself.....you are a failure. Again, if you try to reason it by saying that you just can't afford it.....you are a failure. If by some reason your parents NEED you to live with them ( other than illness or exrodinary circumstances) then THEY are the failure. Bottom line, by this point in your life, you should be "spreading your wings" and living on your own.
PS I don't care what happens in "third world countries".....I don't want to live like them. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 3:23:44 AM | | Sorry to double-post, but I actually went back and read a page or two of this mess. I can't believe that there are people that state that they live at home because they travel for work ??? The best joke was the one that said that they couldn't have an APARTMENT...because they traveled.....what the hell does that mean ?? I can almost understand the EXCUSE that you can't have a house when you travel.......gee that would require someone to cut the grass for you.....they are called GARDENERS, but seriously, not have an apartment.......why ???? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 4:34:01 AM | If it was all about a green card, there certainly would be more of these woman leaving their men at some point in the marriage, but they dont. These woman only come here because they fall in love with their man. What Americans fail to understand is that many foreign woman value and desire marriage and family.
I personally know eight women/men who married just to secure a green card. Most didn't give a darn about the citizen they married; it was a business arrangement, on their part anyway. Two did morph into more stable relationships and children were born, but they were the exception. Anyway, out of those two, one drank himself to death although he stayed with her (the American citizen) because she provided for him financially (she worked four jobs and had five homes), and the other is now making more money than the man she married to turn her student visa into a green card, and she castrates him daily(and is unfaithful). The rest either left as soon as they got the card, are planning on leaving as soon as they get the card, ran off with someone else and is hoping to get a card through them, or are having rampant affairs resulting in pregnancies and untold drama.
You said 30% of American-Asian marriages end in divorce as opposed to 50% of American-American marriages. That number is still high, considering some can't divorce due to economic and isolation issues. People will put up with a lot of crap to send money back to their families back home.
Foreign women who desire marriage and family without an additional agenda realize they have the opportunity to do so with the men in their own countries. If they want access to opportunities their country lacks, they come here. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:12:27 AM | Oh Steve, this was in the study (the link you provided):
There is no question that many of the alien women who advertise for U.S. husbands are far more interested in gaining permanent residence alien status than in gaining a good marriage. What portion of the women intend to use marriage to gain permanent resident alien status cannot be ascertained, of course, since we cannot know what is in the woman's mind, but a reading of the self-descriptions they offer and their willingness to marry men of advanced age and dubious character attests to this intention. The true character of the men is well expressed in Glodava and Onizuka (1994:26), who note, "those who have used the mail-order bride route to find a mate have control in mind rather than a loving and enduring relationship."
The most common times for mail-order brides to leave the marriage, according to Martin (n.d.) are "immediately, 3 months after marriage (receipt of the green card), and 2 years after marriage (receipt of nonconditional permanent residence).''
I'm in no way trying to bash you, but you seem to confer some type of holy status on these women and classify American women as difficult because we have expectations for our men, but the reality is the American women are just more forthright in our desires, while the foreign women wait it out until they get what they want, then the real person emerges. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:51:07 AM | QUOTE 526 by STEVE2600
So, I guess if a man or woman doesnt make quite enough money to live on their own, depsite them working a full time job(or two) they just dont deserve anyone's love right? Lets just throw them out of society and let them be outcasts. Doesnt matter if they are hard workers, have good values and are of good character and treat people nice?
Yep Stevo, that is it. Is it really my job personally, to feel sorry for you or take a man like you in my home because you do not make enough money to pay bills? Why would I want to have a family with a man who depends on mommy and daddy to feed him and provide his shelter? Deserving love is a childish way to word "love." One does not "deserve" love. Love is something that occurs between a couple naturally. Even some of your so called out of country women dont want mama watching you throw her legs up over your shoulder either . Get a grip. Grow up and get your own place. Bottom line. GET A JOB AND PAY YOUR OWN WAY. People with this living with mama and daddy mantality and blaming the econmy on their inability to find work or support themselves are a set up for failure in this day and age.Grow up. Also, men I have met that do live off mama and daddy seen to have real trouble making very important life decisions. Sad I tell you. The funniest part of this whole thing is how we are all so "judgemental." Well, ask your mommy and daddy how to make judgements on how to live in life. Start learning what we do as adults in life. We make judgements daily about what is good for us. From heatlh, employment, family and culture. If you are a social outcast, that is YOUR problem. Maybe that is why you can not support yourself. A lot of careers, even "jobs" at 7.50 an hour require a lot of social skills. I do not care how book smart you are, if you can not function socially, you will never make it. And yes Stevie, sex is important. If I went by your rules (lmfao) go get a place to have it? A hotel would cost more money than renting an apartment for the kind of sex life I want. As for you? Grow up. You want a sexless life, and don't worry about your parents seeing you if you get any? Or, like you said go to the other persons home? My point exactly Get your OWN home. I am thinking Stevie does not get out much in life. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 10:22:22 PM | Ref:
"if you are in your 30's or above and living at home, without some kind of extrodinary circumstances.......you are a waste...period. If by some reason your parents NEED you to live with them ( other than illness or exrodinary circumstances) then THEY are the failure"
NICE. Waterone1, is the christian side of you coming through?
Ref
"Bottom line, by this point in your life, you should be "spreading your wings" and living on your own."
No thanks. I'll pass for now, at least until I get married and have a reason to move out. Sorry if I dissapoint you, or shall i say offend you?
I don't care what happens in "third world countries".....I don't want to live like them. "
uhm, yea, thats pretty clear.
Its the americans who are the odd ball standouts in the world on this particular subject.
So,I guess based on your judgement, the Eurppeans, spanish, and asians are all F'd up and are losers huh? Nice Dude. We should assign you to the united nations for world relations.
American family values suck ass compared to foriegners. Their families are far closer than ours and they do alot more for each other than we do for ours. We dump ours in nursing homes and stress out at the thought of having to take our parents in to care for them. That is F'd up man. Other cultures happily take care of their own. I dont think Americans should be talking. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 11:21:20 PM | You sure do twist things into something I did not say. No one is suggesting you take any man into your home. Where did that come from? Its funny how you try to slant things to make my point of view sound rediculous. Stop putting words into my mouth. Again, if you two get serious, then you can have 2 incomes and share a place together and each contributes what they have. And again, I wouldnt have to have sex in fromt of the folks cause the idea is that the foreign woman comes here and you two would get your own place, as there would be 2 incomes to make it feasible and affordable to do so. Duh. Oh, and by the way, even if the man brought his wife over and lived in the same house, isnt that what the EWINGS did ?As in JR Ewing? LOL. Remember the TV series DALLAS that was so popular in the 80's? They had a house with their own bedrooms and I guess they had sex in front of MAMA??? Do you consider them losers too?? Hey, there are alot of families who live under the same roof, most are foreign families of course . I guess that kind of thing just aint for you huh? Lastly, most people living at home do work FULL TIME (so Ill diregard you little sly remarkabout "GET A JOB".) and they pay their own bills except rent and utilities which the folks already pay whether they are living there or not!!!!! So your arguement holds no water. Its just that if they did go out on their own, they;d be sharing a a place with 3 or 4 other roomates on the worse side of town, and eating ramen every night. get the picture? There's no need for them to do that if they dont have to, and their folks obviously agree. Sorry if you and the other dude got yor panties in a wad over other people's livig situation. And by the way dear, if you read my original post several days ago, I did mention that I was making $80K /yr for the last 6 years until the mortgage market meltdown. hell, Ill even email you my W-2's if you dont believe me. Please dont talk as if you are talking about my personal situation. Thank you. :) Im just taking this concept /theory one step further for theoretical discussion as there are people in that situation also.
Ayways, there's no point in beating this subject down any further. This is your and many American people's opinion and you have the right to such an opnion even if it is critical and judgemental. But this ugly judgemental attitude that some Americans have is the reason why I prefer to date foreigners here in dallas and overseas. Foreigners dont have these type of attitudes . They look at who you are, your values, and that you are responsible enough to work full time whatever it is you do in life. Except in extreme cases like min wage situations, they dont care as to the amount as long as both of you together can make it. Again, its one thing if someone is lazy or mooching, its another if someone is doing so by choice given their situation. Sorry if some cant deal with it. :)
LAdies and gentlemen, it has been a lively and interesting discussion to say the least :)
oh, DixieandDiva, I assume you and I wont be having a date anytime soon? : (. He he he. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/27/2008 12:11:38 AM | ref:
"I'm in no way trying to bash you, but you seem to confer some type of holy status on these women and classify American women as difficult because we have expectations for our men, but the reality is the American women are just more forthright in our desires, while the foreign women wait it out until they get what they want, then the real person emerges."
I understand. I think you may be correct when it comes to the European and Russian ladies. But its not so that way with the Asian ladies. My experience is mainly with filipinas. I do know that the asians in general are very sincere and faithful and marry with sincere intent and love. Thus the low 30% divcorce rate as quoted by the USCIS. As far as the theory that these asian ladies dont divorce because of some financial fear,....wrong. These ladies arent dumb. they wise up pretty fast to the "I GET HALF" system here when people divorce. Trust me, their friends wise them up to this vefry fast. Most foreigners no the score with our laws here. They Can VERY VERY easily divorce and get alimony and/or child support and live quite well if they wanted to do that.
This is getting off topic but since you and I are on the subject: Here is something I once found that I think holds a element of truth to some extent with many American ladies, but not all of course.
WHILE I’LL TAKE A FILIPNA ANYTIME
On important decisions:
Westernized Woman: “You idiot. Why didn’t you do it my way?”
Filipina: “Up to you….” (This does not mean “up to you”. It means please tell me why you are doing this and then I will tell you how I feel.)
After receiving a gift:
Westernized Woman: Says “thanks” while instantly comparing it to the version owned by her most ostentatious friend.
Filipina: “Thanks, but you really didn’t need to do this.”
On Wednesday Night Sex:
Westernized Woman: “Touch me and I am calling the cops.”
Filipina: “Sure, why not.”
On Shopping:
Westernized Woman: “I just have to have that Vuitton purse/Tiffany bracelet/etc..”
Filipina: “I wonder if I can find a first-class copy.”
On Financial Setbacks:
Westernized Woman: “So what are you going to do about it.”
Filipina: “Maybe I can get some overtime to help out.”
On Exploded Home Appliance:
Westernized Woman: “I told you not to buy that cheap thing.”
Filipina: “………” Dead silence. The Filipina is hiding.
On Infidelity:
Westernized Woman: “I’ll find the nastiest divorce lawyer in Beverly Hills.”
Filipina: “The best way to keep a man away from other women is to be sure he is satisfied at home.”
Me: “I can’t cheat on her (if she is a Filipina). That woman is so good to me……..”
LASTLY
Myth: Most Men Only Want an Asian Woman Because They Are More Submissive.
Another myth put about by people who have zero knowledge of the Asian personality. Asian women are tolerant, loyal and easy to get along with. This is, to the uneducated, confused with submission. If anything, an Asian woman is much better at getting what she wants than many Western women, they are just more subtle and tactful about it. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:17:39 PM | | Steve, may I ask, if the Filipina women you've dated were so loyal and compliant, why are you seeking a mate now instead of enjoying marriage with one of them? | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/27/2008 5:00:45 PM | I am sure there are a huge amount of reason's why people are still living at home, as has been shown on this forum.
Here is the reason that i have just moved back into my parents house for a couple of months......quite simply It has recently dawned on me that I miss them something terrible when im working overseas, My work takes me the other side of the world for months at a time in some of the most god forsaken and " interesting " places currently in the news. I know the job can be risky at times, but it is something i have dealt with.
What i did not realise was the impact it was having on both my parents, ( they are both getting quite old and fragile with a smattering of health complaints ) they had spent the last 16 years worried to ill health when in was in the Forces in various places like Bosnia,Iraq and Northen Ireland.....but always kept it hidden from me when i came back on leave. Then I left the forces, and went straight into the same parts of the world as a civillian contractor......and the impact it had on them was profound....even they couldnt hide that from me.
So now when i come back to the UK I stay with my Mum and Dad and do the little jobs that they need doing and all the heavy lifting in the garden and such for the few months that I am back......and try to claw back some of the past 20 years or so, when I only saw them twice a year for a few weeks at a time....of course I can never replace that lost time, but when your parents get frail and ill, it tends to make you dearly wish you could.
I do not rent or own a house as I no longer live or work in the UK, as i do not feel welcome in my own country with all its problems at the moment.In fact im off to Australia for six months on a motorcycle tour in 3 weeks( nasty Taxman means i need to be out of the UK until April at least )....but that is a godsend for my parents who can actually relax, because im on a holiday and contactable rather than the usual trips. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/28/2008 1:19:44 AM | Im glad you asked flowerchild, and I appreciate your objectivity here.
To be honest, I have a profile here because I dont think ALL american ladies are materialistic, spoiled, and demanding. I especially see many good ones at church. And I have noticed that not all american woman JUDGE men on frivilous reasons such as living at home. I can fall for any woman of any race. I dont expect much from a woman. She just needs to have her values and heart in the right place. : ) Though, admittedly, I am actively corresponding with ladies overseas also ; ) Based on what Ive seen here in the US so far, Im almost certain that Ill end up marrying a foreigner . As it is, being that I am 41 (never married and no children), and considering that most american woman wont date a man who is more than 4-5 yrs older (check out match.com to see this fact) , that leaves my available options mostly with woman who are 36 or 37 or older. Well, 90% of 36 or 37 yr olds here have baggage of divorce and kids and to be honest, are oversized for my taste. So, really, unless I can find a foreigner who is newly arrived here, my only option is to go overseas for a wife.
Ya know Flower child, the most attractive thing I find in a woman is humblness.Humbleness is a beautiful virtue. Its almost non existent here in the west. For example, most foreign ladies say this in their ads "looking for a man to accept me for who I am". Foreign ladies only requirements in their dating profile tends to be that the man be a good husband, father, a man of good morals, and kind and respectful to others, and maybe god fearing. American ladies on the other hand have a list of demands that a man must meet such as a man "who loves to dance, must make a minimum of 100K, must love to travel, must love pets, must love sports, must love social outings, blah blah blah. One man put my point of view best when it he posted the following:
"Even if I met half of her demands (which I don't) I'm turned off by her spoiled and demanding attitude.
Regardless, I answer her ad telling her about me as I really am with my best picture.
Some respond with half hearted emails between their weekend excursions and trips abroad.
It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm fighting a really tough battle for her affections. It's obvious I'm not lighting her fire. I refuse to settle for anymore half hearted relationships and even though I know there are some very nice women who are unattractive, I just can't get into the spirit of it.
Luckily, I find by chance an ad from a lovely foreign lady who issues little or no demands and who is a simple person like myself. She's only seeking love and marriage with a kind and decent man. When I answer her ad she's totally enthusiastic and makes me feel like I'm the greatest guy in the world.
She's totally genuine."
OR
"It is less common to find an American woman who is interested in having a permanent
marriage and family including a Husband. One easy way to see this is to look at ANY publication containing "personals" ads. American women want someone who looks a certain way, and who has certain "social skills" such as dancing or clever conversation, someone who is interesting and exciting and seductive. When you look at foreign ladies ads its pretty simple what they want really. Over and over they state that they are happy to settledown FOREVER with a MAN who is willing to try to hold down a steady job and be a loving and understanding husband and father. This will get you exactly NOWHERE with an American girl!!!!!”
And one more quote from another guy
"What I have found is that foreign ladies appreciate how they are treated much more than western women. I think , IMHO, it's their inherant(sp?) attitudes that really differentiate the 2 cultures. Western women feel they are entitled to everything that you have where as foreign ladies appreciate whatever you can do for them. At least that's my take on the issue."
SORRY for those others who are here for the main topic "living at home over 30". Please excuse this little diversion. I dont mean to hijack the main subject of this post. :) | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/28/2008 11:53:02 AM | | some people use there parents granted but some people have no choice its better then living on a park bench or in a tent | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:33:50 PM | I had to go back home once...I was living with my fiance, and he started drinking heavily, and used me as a punching bag...choked me until I blacked out, almost killed me...I had nowhere to go, so thankfully my parents took me in. I don't know where I would be if they hadn't helped me...dead, probably.
It never interfered with my life, I worked full-time, they know I am an adult, and treated me as such. I feel that I was very lucky!!
I suppose if you've never left home, that would be different. But I had been on my own for a long time, then I met my fiance, lived with him, gave up my house to get one with him...I will never do that again, that's for sure! I will live on my own forever!! | |
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IHuman
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Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 541 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/3/2008 9:10:48 AM | It just depends on the situation. There are several people who may live at their parents house but pay all the bills and take care of their parents due to the old age or disability. There are people who themselves are disabled and need help for everyday activities that healthy people take for granted, but most like this give whatever financial assistance they make to their parents who are their primary caregivers. In this trying economy with people losing their houses and the divorce rate skyrocketing, more people may have to move back home temporarily until they can get their financial situation stabilized. This can take a few months or a few years because they may still own money on their house and any other creditable propery they lose ie vehicles or credit card bills.
I'm not making excuses for people like this, because you do have the leeches who are just sponging off their parents just because they can. But you can't lump every adult living at home together. AND whether you like a person or not, no one should ever take pleasure in the misfortune of others, because you never know when it could happen to you.
I personally joined the military when I was 18 and have never looked back. I visit when I can, and my mother and sister have tried to guilt me into returning home with every excuse imaginable. Now my mother's health is slowly failing her, but it's nothing that she can't manage. Plus she has my stepfather and sister there with her if something drastic does happen. I'm not an ungrateful son, I just know my family and know that being around them would just create drama, and I despise drama of any kind.
However, this is a double standard anyway. Living at home only reflects badly against men who find themselves in that situation. People here about a man living or moving back home, and they automatically label him a loser regardless of the situation. Whereas with women, people just shrug it off as no big deal. All I can say is that if you're a guy over the age of 22 (average college graduate age) who's still living at home, you should spend every waking hour trying to get yourself to where you can move out, because women aren't going to bother giving you time to explain why you live at home before kicking you to the curb. I have a friend who essentially never really left home, and except for the occassional hoodrat or fattie, he can rarely keep women interested in him once they find this out.
Yes it's unfair that socially, financially, and professionally we're judged harsher than women are whether they realize it or not. A prime example is when people see a guy with a fat or ugly girl they label him desperate, but if people see a girl with a fat or ugly guy they call her charitable. Instead of worrying about it, I say set goals for yourself that are even higher than society standards. This way even if you fall short, you're above the average. Because let me tell you something, at the end of the night, women dont' care about your sense of humor, your beliefs, or your personality. All they care about is what you have, what can you do for them, and how can being with you benefit them. People always say "society at large thinks/believes", but I think society at large has it right. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:05:30 AM | | Hey, I'm 34. Yes I am still home. NOT by choice but, I am. There is nothing wrong with it. I have my own life. I come and go as I please. I bring women over. Once in awhile they spend the night. See, I had a medical problem when I was 17 and I just got a good paying job last month. So I'll be able to move out soon. Here though, there is no rent no food expenses. My only expense is my truck and clothes. So, tell me. What is wrong with that. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 2:14:30 PM | Well I'm 42 and recently moved out of my parent's home into my own flat.
Whilst the independence has probably been a good thing for me, the loneliness is not something I had bargained for I have to say.  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 4:02:52 PM | In regards to still living at home. I think you have to examine the issue on a case by case basis. Is someone helping out a disabled sibling for a reduction in rent (as is my case), has someone never left home, is someone experience financial difficulties, etc..
I've lived in many different places around the country, such as Texas, North Carolina, and Kentucky. I was used to paying less than $700 per month on a one-bedroom apartment in garden apt complexes (complete with central heat and air and pool, etc..). The last place I lived in North Carolina, the rent was $375 for a one bedroom.
With the high cost of living up here on Long Island, many people are forced to live in situations that may not be ideal. Is it any better for someone to be sharing a house with strangers who may or may not be reliable as far as paying their share is concerned. If you can afford to live on your own, there is no reason why anyone should choose not too.
A person's current living situation, in itself, is not an accurate predictor of a person's level of maturity, relationship compatibility, or a person's future potential. Ask yourself the following: Would you rather be with an abnoxious, judgemental jack ass of a person who has their own place, or someone much nicer and more compatible who currently may not be living up to their potential, but with the right person in their life or the right encouragement, may flourish and be a spectacular person. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 5:12:24 PM |
Would you rather be with an abnoxious, judgemental jack ass of a person who has their own place, or someone much nicer and more compatible who currently may not be living up to their potential, but with the right person in their life or the right encouragement, may flourish and be a spectacular person.
With ALL due respect, neither, as these aren't the only two possible options. I'd rather the nicer more compatible person with his own place. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:08:58 PM | Would you rather be with an abnoxious, judgemental jack ass of a person who has their own place, or someone much nicer and more compatible who currently may not be living up to their potential, but with the right person in their life or the right encouragement, may flourish and be a spectacular person.
Actually you should be living up to your true potential and working on being a spectacular person for yourself instead of waiting for the right person t to come around. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:56:26 PM | Actually you should be living up to your true potential and working on being a spectacular person for yourself instead of waiting for the right person t to come around.
I agree with you. I am in the process of changing myself, but have a long road ahead of me. I spent many years in graduate school pursuing a path I thought I was the right choice. Things have not worked out as planned to this point. Now I am trying to get my life back on track, or start over ( all with a heavy reckoning in student loan debt).
It's been a hard pill to swallow that I've sacrificed many years of a potential social life to pursue a dream that hasn't as yet come to fruition. Now it seems like I will have to forgoe my social life still further until things sort themselves out. It is very frustrating! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:36:18 AM | After reading some of the more recent posts on here........ I'm damn proud to be an American. You will NEVER get any kind of appology from me for being an American. Yes, I embrace and agree with TRADITIONAL American values. If living at home with your parents is considered "normal" in your country....that's fine, that's what you were raised with. I have no desire to preach- to or condemn what China or any other country does in the privacy of their own home.
I appologize, I forgot that this is not an Amercan website, it is a multi-national website. My comments were addressed to what seams to be a RECENT trend in the U.S.
As stated earlier, my comments are adressed to U.S. people, and the recent trend of living with their parents well past what would be called adulthood, or maturity.
I stand by my previous comments. I do want to clarify that when I say extrodinary circumstances, that for sure would include a child taking care of an ailing parent.
That would NOT include the child having "financial difficulty" or having their "bubble burst" when living above their means. Grow up, take responsibility and find a solution on your own.
I know I will take some criticism on this. If you are wondering if I am "walking the walk"......well, I'm "shuttering" or possibly renting out my house, while I take a job in another state. Bottom line, I'll keep my house, pay my bills and make sacrifices, so that my parents don't have to support me. Easy ? no, it sure isn't....but while I know my parents love me, and like seeing me, I don't want to be a burden on them.
Sure, I could let my house get foreclosed, move in with Mom and Dad and throw my hands in the air and say " woe is me".....I wasn't raised that way. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:56:18 AM | I'm so sorry to double post. I went back on this thread and re-read some previous comments.....that I first thought were comming from someone OVERSEAS . After looking at their POF page I realized....they are an American.
I'm sure it's not acceptable to call someone out by name on here.......so, all I can say is, if you really hate American values, and feel the need to slam American women the way you do....perhapps it's time for you to relinquish the rights, freedoms and opportunities that America gives you. If all you can do is quote foreign cultures, perhapps you should be living in those cultures while you are quoting them. I haven't had great relationships with every woman I've met, but to put them all in the same catagory and say that they are all materialistic, money grubbing, etc. is just plain wrong. Then again, I'm not the one that has been without a date for five years. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:26:30 AM | | Now heres a question, what if the person owns the house and decided to pay off his parents mortgage? | |
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