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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:34:21 AM |
Id love to hear what you guys think about ppl over 30 still at home..
An economic necessity for many, I am afraid! How else can many get a mortgage that is ten times their annual income, or more?
John
London | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:20:58 PM | | Look im over 30 and have a 10 year old with us but my mom is sick .I take care of her and wen i go out on a date i get that look . So i tell it like this if you don t like it there is the door ! You have one mom in life.Yes i did have a new home ,car and now im back home to do what we all would take care of the one you love . But as for the one's that dont thay need to move out to see that life is not all fun and games . Some just take and take .I was out at 18 and made it. I was happy i did.some times it was not all fun and games but i will tell you it was a blast!! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:51:12 PM | I haven't dated anyone who lived at home with his parents in many years, and I don't plan on starting now. If one doesn't have employment and can't afford to live on his own, then he has other priorities than dating.
I am somewhat offended that Steve (and a few others) feel all AMERICAN women are spoiled. I am by no means spoiled, but heck, I can't find a man who doesn't want a barbie doll, so maybe I should start assuming all AMERICAN men want barbie dolls (just being sarcastic).
My feeling is Steve (and others), if you want a foreign woman, great - go for it. Better yet - move to a third world country.
I don't expect a man to have tons of money. I do expect he has rents or owns a place and can play his own bills. I can pay my own bills, but I certainly can't afford to pay someone else's bills. The man I just dated didn't make a ton of money, and I was fine with that. In fact, I've made more than most of the men I dated. Oh and btw, I don't own designer purses, don't live in a gated neighborhood and don't drive a fancy car. And I'm an American woman and I'm proud of it! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:04:42 PM | Well, I dont think you and Katie have read my posts carefully. I have clearly stated many times that "NOT ALL AMERICAN LADIES ARE THAT WAY" . I clearly stated this. Please go back and read my post before you say I said this. I have never said ALL are this way. And besides that point, I do love American woman as friends, as mothers, as sisters , as coworkers etc. But when it comes to love and relationships and dating, I think its a completely different thing all together, GENERALLY speaking(meaning NOT all).
The "leave America" remark is very "childish". As my avatar clearly shows, I am clearly patriotic and proud to be american. I have alot of family who are military and my father was a naval aviator in the 50's flying jets off airctraft carriers at just 18 yrs old! I love what the flag stands for : freedom, civil rights, defenders of good. My observations about American woman and dating have absolutely nothing to do with such serious core political values and beliefs aformentioned. How can they even compare?There may be many things I dont like in this country (and there certainly are) but they dont compare to the core fundamental reasons why I would die for my country if necessary. And lets not forget, every culture and country has its positives and its negatives anyways. If someone decides to point these negatives out, they are suddenly unamerican and should leave the country? Lets be real here, as patriotic as I am, Ill also be the first to say that America, nor is any other country perfect. And until you travel overseas and spend alot of time to get to know foreigners cultural values and how they REALLY live their lives, family values etc, you wont know how to make a comparison of whats good or bad between the two countries. This is especially true with the suject at hand on the differences between foreign and American woman when it comes to dating and family values and what they expect in a man or in marriage. My eyes werent opened until I traveled overseas and dated foreign ladies. What a awakening. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/11/2008 9:44:54 AM | It kills me! I meet and talk to so many men my age and older who currently live with their mom/dad or both. I have not lived at home since I was in my early 20's and struck out on my own. I love my mom, but I would never want to live under her roof again; I am an adult and I enjoy my freedom and independence.
I have a guy friend who is 35...he is in a band and he travels alot, but only Mon-Sunday. He is normally home all during the week. He lives with his mom and has for 4 years-since his divorce. He says it's convenient. I think that's crap! She cooks his dinner, does the grocery shopping, etc. Recently he decided he wanted to get a cat-his mom said NO-LOL! Good 4 her-it's her house...
I refuse to date anyone who lives at home unless it's a VERY temporary situation. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/11/2008 11:26:36 AM | 4 years? whoa! thats heavy. how can he expect to ever find another woman worth havin livin in mom & pops basement? on the sore side though im 34 livin with my dad and g-ma, divorce after about 10yrs, but my plan is on track and your ex has made me feel a better about my self. ---Thanx.
oh yeah, i have been here for about 4 mos. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/11/2008 7:13:39 PM | Steve, I saw you didnt say ALL but you keep going on and on about AMERICAN women. You even gave a little role-play of the American versus foreign women. Now, if that isn't perpetuating a stereotype, then I don't know what is. I don't know too many AMERICAN women who act like that. But I do know a lot who wouldn't give the time of day to a 30-something year old man living at home with his parents, including myself. That doesn't mean I don't like sex, want a man to buy me everything including designer clothes and purses, etc. I, like many other AMERICAN women, are just normal women, wanting a normal man who can pay his bills and works a decent job. If I can do it, why shouldn't I expect a man to do it, too?
So, you are welcome to prefer foreign women. Just don't generalize and put your little roleplays about American women, when they are very far from the truth. I think you have probably been turned down by some American women, so instead of just realizing that they wanted you to have your own place and pay your own bills, you make up stories to yourself that they all want designer clothes, expensive dinners, etc. There is a lot of difference between wanting you to have your own place to wanting you to buy them tons of nice things. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/12/2008 5:40:34 PM | Sounds like you're still in love with the guy and are pissed he did you over! Build a bridge! If you didn't care about him anymore, there would be no reason to give a rats ass where and who he lives with!  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/13/2008 3:45:45 AM | | Wow, I could care less what someone's father, grandfather and those that came before them did......it would seam that THEY were MEN. It is all about what YOU do that matters. If YOU aren't doing it....that is the issue. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/14/2008 3:46:52 PM | What to say about this... Well, personally I couldn't care less where somebody's living. I don't stick my nose into other people's business. I don't live in the U.S. but I believe that the mentality over there is completely different and kids are expected to move out after a certain age whether they can afford it or not. That's stupidity. Here in Europe it's slightly different and especially in the southern parts. In Italy for example it's not weird, sick or silly to be living with your parents until you get married. The same goes for other countries as well, e.g. Spain, Greece, etc. Family ties over there are very important. Not to mention Japan and South America.
As for living with your parents and dating, well, I guess it can be a pain in the neck having to explain yourself all the time why you're still living under the same roof as your parents. But again, it depends on many things. Like I said, if you're in Italy it might be perfectly Ok, but if you're in the U.S. it's considered by many to be immature or whatever. I think that it's better to be ready for the change, move out and have your own place rather working your butt off just to pay the rent. A lot of people can't even handle money and they're in debt up to their ears. Others, even though they're living in their own apartment, are STILL financially dependent on their parents. I personally know one woman who's more or less in that situation. She's a student and has her own apartment. The rent is just crazy and several times she's asked her mother for help.
The bottom line is, go out there are date your butts off no matter if you're living in a castle or in your parents bedroom.
Gl. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/15/2008 12:03:12 AM | "People used to live with their parents for their entire lives... were they all 'immature'?
Just because something is currently the cultural norm doesn't really tell you much about an individual circumstance... take each person as they come to you.
And no... I don't live with my parents... "
Yup. This is very common in MANY cultures, just not the predominant protestant north-american one. :D
Hell, you "white people" go to dinner and SPLIT THE BILL. I've seen married couples do this, and it cracks me up!!! If you treat your spouse that way, then yeah, I guess you would send your parents to a special home, instead of fulfilling your responsibility to care for them as they mature. Oh wait, no - that's too much of an INCONVENIENCE. I forgot the mantra, ME ME ME.. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/15/2008 1:29:45 AM | [What to say about this... Well, personally I couldn't care less where somebody's living. I don't stick my nose into other people's business. I don't live in the U.S. but I believe that the mentality over there is completely different and kids are expected to move out after a certain age whether they can afford it or not. That's stupidity. Here in Europe it's slightly different and especially in the southern parts. In Italy for example it's not weird, sick or silly to be living with your parents until you get married. The same goes for other countries as well, e.g. Spain, Greece, etc. Family ties over there are very important. Not to mention Japan and South America.
As for living with your parents and dating, well, I guess it can be a pain in the neck having to explain yourself all the time why you're still living under the same roof as your parents. But again, it depends on many things. Like I said, if you're in Italy it might be perfectly Ok, but if you're in the U.S. it's considered by many to be immature or whatever. I think that it's better to be ready for the change, move out and have your own place rather working your butt off just to pay the rent. A lot of people can't even handle money and they're in debt up to their ears. Others, even though they're living in their own apartment, are STILL financially dependent on their parents. I personally know one woman who's more or less in that situation. She's a student and has her own apartment. The rent is just crazy and several times she's asked her mother for help.
The bottom line is, go out there are date your butts off no matter if you're living in a castle or in your parents bedroom. /]
This is the best dam post ever!!! 100% logical and not full of some BS about "be a man and get your own place" crap. Screw that Western stereotype and just go do what you gotta do. Let those like water1 get their panties in a jealous wad elsewhere. LOL. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/15/2008 1:37:46 AM | [If you treat your spouse that way, then yeah, I guess you would send your parents to a special home, instead of fulfilling your responsibility to care for them as they mature. Oh wait, no - that's too much of an INCONVENIENCE. I forgot the mantra, ME ME ME.. /]
Amen! Again, a like thinker of what Ive been sayin all along. The west has messed up values and thats how we get these stupid illogical stereotypes such as how only horrible immature losers live at home. Yet 90% of the rest of the world does it. Water1 wiggles his way out of it by saying "But thats not how our country does it". Yep, we are the odddball, the loner country who gets their panties in a wad over such things. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/15/2008 4:22:05 AM | Well...the weasel called me out by name.....guess I 'll return the favor.
Steve.....The U.S. spends billions every year to help people in other countries. Every time there is a natural disaster or medical crisis, the people of the United States of America lend their support. For some reason that escapes me, you have the misguided idea that not only should we help them, that we should drag down our society to the lowest level that exists in the world today. It would seam from your posts that several generations should live in the same hut and never aspire to do any better......because.....somewhere in the world there are some people living that way. To follow your logic, maybe I should just give up, quit making a living and quit paying taxes. Perhapps, I should go on government assistance and let the rest of the world support me. Sorry, that will never happen !! I'll continue to make my way, and knowing there are losers like you out there, i'll use every legal resource to pay the least amount of taxes possible and simply build my personal wealth.
With all of that said, it's really funny that you are so picky with what you are looking for in a mate....so much more picky that most of us......oh I forgot.....you haven't had a date in over five years....guess that explains it.
Let's see ...to quote Steve " I'm looking for a girl that is height / weight proportionate that has never been married and has no children".........."In the past I usually date foreign girls, since they tend to have better values and are humble and don't care about money"...."I recently started looking at dating sites such as this, but it's disheartening to see so many ladies that are materialistic, arrogant and prideful".
Dude, that is from your own words on here. And you are looking for a date ?
I've said my piece, and yes, I rolled in the gutter......I'm done. Have at it, from now on, if I see a post from someone named Steve.....I'll just slip over it....it's nothing but dribbel. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/16/2008 8:35:23 PM | These people that still live at home beyond the age of 25 have issues. I can see a short term stay because of a problem situation. But, any stay that has become comfortable to the sponge('s) should be terminated as soon as possible. Of course there are peeps that have never even left home. Two people to blame on that. The parents for not encouraging their kids to get the heck out of the house and do something with their lives. The Sponge('s) for not having enough drive to find their own place in life. I was out on my own at age 19. I'm talking thousands of miles away from home, not down the block. I got home sick but I survived. I wouldn't of had it any other way! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/17/2008 4:28:02 PM | you don't see the problem with that? maybe because it's not a girl. i can say this because i'm 19 and i just moved out of my parents house but you are over 30? and still living with your mom? that makes girls feel weird. you had a medical problem at 17. that was how many years ago? come on. i'm not trying to be mean, i'm just trying to let you know whats wrong with it. it makes girls think that you are a mommas boy or something. i know i would be weirded out if i was seeing a guy that still lived with his mom. i mean visiting them on the weekends and staying there is different. you still leave on the weekends.
but. if you have a job and you're trying to move is good. at least you'retrying. some guys don't. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:40:14 AM | Well to me, it's obvious you helped caused him to live with Mom and Dad so why blame him? I had to move back home with Mom and I hate it and I'm 36. This wasn't and isn't my choice. It's because I can't afford a place of my own right now. My ex divorced me and left me holding the bag because I had cancer. So, it's my fault that I am living with Mom? Also, my Mom is widowed. Me being here does help her in some aspect.
I have to depend on my mother on some things because of this bad economy. I do have a job. Had it for 10 years. But, it's slow and hours have been cut. So, I haven't been able to take care of all the debts I have been stuck with in order for me to survive on my own and make ends meet.
I wouldn't consider him a lazy, no good husband, nor do I consider him a "loser". You got him to where he's at. It's because of you. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/18/2008 9:49:41 AM | woman lives at home=getting her life back together
man lives at home=mama's boy, who needs to grow up | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 1:17:00 AM | Once you have reached 30 years old and have never moved out from home, it's because there is a problem. I don't care how much you defend the reason to still live at home....it's not what a mature responsible individual does.
After you have reached 40 and still live at home, then you have a serious problem.
I'm reading these stories on here about how it's a european tradition to still live at home. Uh no it's not, my european realitives move out on their own.
I can understand the need to have to go back home during a crisis for a certain amount of time, but those situations are rare and few and far between.
It's the parents responsibility to know when to kick the baby bird out of the nest. Failure to launch hurts the child and the parents in the long run.
IMO to date anyone that has always lived at home is beyond scary. They have never stood the test of time and proven themselves that they are capable of being self supportive. Living at home is not the same as living on your own. Learn to stand on your own two feet instead of using mommy and daddy as a crutch.
Always living at home does make one babyish. I proves you can't make it on your own.
Parents that need their children in order to make it, well they are like that because they could never stand on their own two feet either. It's the blind leading the blind. What if something happens to you, then what happens to them? What they become homeless? What happens to you if something happens to them?
Two dependent people together will sink if something happens to one of them. Two independent people, well if something happens to one of them, the other can help them and they will survive on their own afterwards.
That is why I believe smart parents raise independent kids. Because when the time comes the kids can help them without being financially ruined in the process and vice versa. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 11:57:59 AM | | I have to preface this with it is not for me but I don't judge. Only in America is is disgraceful and looked down upon that grown children live at home with their parents. It is a common practice in many civilized cultures that there are several generations living under the same roof. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 12:20:52 PM | Their could be a lot of reasons why people over 30 are still at home. Some you mentioned some you haven't. They could be helping out there family (health issues), they want to save money and not fall flat on there face, they lost there job etc.
I hate it when people put a label on men and women at 30 who still live at home. Usuually they are the ones with parents who didn't give a crap and kicked them out or wanted there independence early as if they were never going to get it.
You are also assuming its lack of ambition. Yes continue to keep watching movies and make Hollywood the reality of your world.
Especially in the times that we live in now to see someone say that pisses me off royally. No, let’s allow people who lost there homes and who have a family to live on the streets then live at home OR someone’s daughter to become a prostitute then be labeled something for living at home instead because she lost her job.
Paying RENT? Unless your parents need the money. What kind of parent asks for money from there kids to stay at home? What to teach them a lesson? Bullshit, they will learn as soon as they leave. Again Hollywood realities.
Just because your ex was an ass doesn't mean everyone living at home is.
Every person I have ever known who has mocked or made fun of someone living at home at age 30 ended up going back home broke and the person they made fun of is now living a good life because he or she saved up there money. Reality check. That's what family is for. To protect you to teach you to love you and to help you.
Having said all that. If you are 35-40 and you still live at home for no apparent reason. Then there is a problem… | |
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ml456
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 572 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 1:29:27 PM | | It depends on the reasons why they are living at home. Some people might have been recently divorced or they lost their job so they needed a temporary place to stay. Some people might be taking care of a sick parent. Other people are just flat out lazy. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 1:31:35 PM | | Since I was 19, I was able to somehow support myself. So, the same rule applies now. If I can work one or 2 jobs (have worked 2 before) go to College full time and support myself ANYONE can. I want a relationship with a man who I can have over, or go see without mommy and daddy and everyone else there to monitor it. Meaning, if I want you to do me on the kitchen table at 3 in the afternoon it would be really nice too do that. Grow up, get a damn job, and get your OWN place. It is not a matter of making fun of anyone, it shows who is responsible and can hack it or not. What happens when mommy and daddy are not alive any more to bail people out? What happens if we are together and have rough times financially...just going to up and leave and go back to mommy and daddy???? NOT.It is one thing to accept HELP, it is another to become co dependent. No, I will not ever date anyone living like this. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:19:14 PM | well, if they are at home for good reasons like sickness, job loss ...etc then its ok but if its a free ride from momn and dad that pisses me off
I been on my own since i was 18 and i am now 39 with no help from family. i managed threw all sorts of bad luck to support myself. if i can do it so can others. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:45:57 PM | | KC that is my point. And you can always tell the whiners here who live with and off mommy and daddy. Always some tragic excuse. Some of it really makes me ill. Even in sickness or job loss, people STILL learn how to support themselves. It really makes me wonder how they expect to have a normal life if they can not make it on their own. I met someone who does exactly this ~ lives at home. Mind you he lied about it, and he is history, but good God...support yourself. lol. Most of the time it is lazy people, very rarely have I heard anyone with a good reason. Once on here I heard a man tell me he was really helping his mother out, and I believe him, but still...to have any type of relationship, I just can not see me "going there" with a man. | |
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