| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:31:06 AM | I know there are people out there that are just too lazy to leave home .... as mum does everything from dinner to laundry .... but there are a lot of people who just don't have a choice in still staying at home
The unfortunate financial situation that lots of countries are experiencing just now it's not going to be unusual for adults still living with or moving back to live with parents!
I have a friend who is still living with her parents .... this is purely down to her financial situation. She is single with no dependents so is low down on the council housing list. She is trying to save to get a decent deposit to buy a house .... but will now be lucky to get a morgage ... even with a decent deposit!
Like your ex alura she doesn't pay rent but this is to allow her to put more money towards her savings .... though I take it this isn't the same with your ex  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/20/2008 7:54:53 AM | | My god i would cringe if i ever had to move back in with my parents! I left at 23 and even then i thought that was late ! I have two friends who still live at home ! One who is 45 the other 37! I would'nt like their lifes at all! I'd be humiliated to still be at home at that age ! The friend who is 37 says he still gets told off if his bedroom is not kept tidy, how sad is that !!! Chris | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/20/2008 12:44:13 PM | | You couldn't pay me to move back home, I love my family to death but the thought of still living with mommy at 31 is just unacceptable. I couldn't imagine bringing a date home and telling her "we have to be quiet so we don't wake my parents up". I moved out at 23 and at this point would work 3 jobs if need be just to keep my living situation the way it is. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:04:39 PM | I think that it all comes down to one question - why? If someone's living with his parents it doesn't matter if he's 25, 35 or older. The question is simply why he (or she) hasn't moved out. There are cases, especially now during the financial crisis, when people get fired left to right and have get rid of their car, house or whatever. When "disaster" strikes you obviously have to live somewhere and quite often, at least temporarily, you move back home. Now, that's ONE scenario which I believe is more acceptable for even the most narrow-minded person.
There are many scenarios obviously. I don't know about any such myself but it's probably safe to assume that there are people who once moved out, moved back and got "stuck". In other words, when your world collapses you build a new one and that's when it can be hard to get out. Who knows, and that's the most important point here. Unless you know about the details it's foolish to judge someone.
I personally know one guy who's over 30 and he's still living with his parents. As far as I know he's never had his own place and I don't think that he's even held a job for more than a few months at a time. Other than that he's an intelligent person, well read and good-looking. But he has those two things going against him whenever he's dating women. It is kind of sad that he's wasting his time. But over the years that we've been friends I've understood that people aren't "synchronized" like clocks. We're expected to have accomplished certain things, goals, in life at this or that age. Women start to feel pressured about not having kids or a relationship with somebody around 30, too. The society puts pressure on everybody, not only the guy, or girl, who's yet to find his place in this world. So maybe we should all live and let live and drop the prejudices. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/27/2009 10:51:03 PM | "I've lived on my own, and I do have a concept of what the real world costs. I have a good job, I pay the bills and buy food. I don't sponge off my parents like some people who live at home do.
You say unrealisitic princess, maybe your right BUT you don't know me or the whole story so don't be so quick to judge me."
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***I agree - luvmonkey;you definately had me with you on some of your truly contemplative/sensitive/thoughtful/ insightful answers. Impressed a couple of times. For sure. Kudos.
But ah yeah, this one answer of yours didn't go down the best at all. I do see what you are saying about "woulda couldas", I DO.
BUT - the "interesting to see how defensive people get...maybe there is an underlying fear" etc- did sound... a little condescending, which hmm..not so cool.
Very generalized and a little nasty sounding really. Which in my opinion is actually more proof of why people
(maybe in particular the ones who have a valid/legit reason to be there, health/medical whatever) get defensive and or angry so quickly because they know of the social stigma here and are probably just sick of getting automatically lumped in with the "spongers/freeloaders" as well,etc., not to mention also likely sick of feeling they have to constantly defend their position and explain themselves to others, only to still get negative flack and be made to feel below everybody else who is out "on their own"?
We don't know everybody's story, so I agree we should not be SO quick to judge.
Just a thought.
Take Care everybody, | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:36:45 AM | Sometimes it not a "Failure to Grow Up". Sometimes it's just circumstances that happen. I'm over 30 and still live at home, I am not happy about it but at this point in time there is not much I can do. I have a job, but I only work as a clerk in retail and make enough just to get my bills paid off. I never had the chance to go away to school which is something I wanted to do, and sometimes living at home isn't so bad, it's a bit better then living by yourself.
I've also known people who have tried to live on their own and ended up moving back home because it's just hard to do unless you have a college-educated job or working full-time. With the economy these days it's hard to find a decent job, with a lot of places closing and such.
You can laugh all you want about living at home and being 30, but that's pre-judging people and it's wrong. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:52:39 AM | It's all too common and just like you describe, OP, is why I don't want to date them anymore. No ambition, maturity or responsibility.
These people will be lost when mama dies. Some will be like the homeless we see on lower Wacker Drive, or these people we see holding up the "homeless, need to eat" sign. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/28/2009 4:54:48 PM |
It's all too common and just like you describe, OP, is why I don't want to date them anymore. No ambition, maturity or responsibility.
These people will be lost when mama dies. Some will be like the homeless we see on lower Wacker Drive, or these people we see holding up the "homeless, need to eat" sign.
I have a buddy that just went thru a divorce, his wife took him to the cleaners, he has NOTHING. He made a decision that was brutal for him...live at home with mom and provide for his kids, or live on his own and be broke. He chose the first option...
dont be so quick to judge, my buddy hates living with his mom, he has three girls, who he feels he is not being a father to because he cant provide a home for them....
I find it funny that when he goes out for a few beers with me, he is a drunk, but yet his ex wife drinks and goes out just as much as he does, and she is "getting a break"...interesting... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/30/2009 9:48:27 PM |
It's all too common and just like you describe, OP, is why I don't want to date them anymore. No ambition, maturity or responsibility.
These people will be lost when mama dies. Some will be like the homeless we see on lower Wacker Drive, or these people we see holding up the "homeless, need to eat" sign.
Do you ever think about maybe those who live at home still can still take care of themselves? I'm surprised there are people who will not even consider dating a person who still lives at home. The two girlfriends I had both still lived at home when I was with them, and I couldn't care less because I liked them.
Not saying your philosophy is wrong but sometimes it's hard to live on your own especially if you don't have a good enough job to do so or you have to many bills to pay off. I would give the person a chance and if you don't click then that would be more of a reason not to date them. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/31/2009 5:37:27 PM | | I don't live at home but... I know a 44 year old that does- He looks after his parents- both are sick- His dad just died two weeks ago- He is a master plumber, money and ambition is not the problem. | |
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Msh90
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Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 586 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:26:46 PM | People are so judgemental about this topic.
Personally I think it's fine. I just bought my own apartment and just moved out of my parents house and I'm 28. I would never have been able to purchase anything if I hadn't spent 10 years saving and I wouldn't have been able to save like I did without my mum and dad helping me. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/6/2009 3:52:24 AM | In some cultures it is normal for families to stick together. Parents take care of their children, then help with grandchildren and then it's the childens' turn to take care of the parents.
I know people who never see their family except on holidays. There are pros and cons in both situations. As long as everyone gets along and there are no major problems it can work. It's unusual that it works out smoothly but when there are financial or health reasons it can work.
I think that the more money we make - the easier it is to break ties with family. Sometimes just helping family members financially is easier than having to spend time or being forced to live with them. In this economy we will see it more and more. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:44:51 PM | Anyone who generalizes and says anyone still living at home with their parents is a loser is a loser themselves.
People are always looking for one reason or another to put people down and laugh about people. Most of the time it's because their lives aren't that great and they want to make themselves feel better.
I have had a very rough 2 years. things started going to hell for me financially. I had bills piling up and interests rates going up for no reason and I was helping to take care of some family and one thing led to another and I ended up with my parents.
No, I don't love it. I don't sit around thinking how wonderful it is or how easy it is. I don't have any rules or anything, but it's pretty damn embarrassing that my finances got so out of control and with the tight job market, I could never get a job that paid me enough to live on my own. You start adding up rent, utilities, food, household supplies, a big student loan, needing a new car, having health issues, etc. it gets to be next to impossible to live.
So what do I do? I've helped my mother out after 3 back surgeries, a hip surgery and a hysterectomy. Anything she needs me to do, I do it. Things she doesn't ask for help with, I try to do and I feel guilty if I forget or am not at home when she needs me.
My parents are understanding and know that someday come hell or high water, I'll make sure they don't end up in some rotten nursing home. I will take care of my parents as well as they've helped me.
And for that, I am grateful. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:06:40 PM | LOL, if I had to move back in with my parents at my age, there would be a homocide within days. I love my parents, but they drive me nuts. They are set in their ways, and so am I. Plus my mother would be all up in my personal business, and I would be insane within hours.
I was talking to my dad hypothetically about this subject one time, and he laughed and said he would rather fork out money for my rent than have me move in with them...he said having me and my mother under one roof again would force him to move into the barn. LOL, God love him, he was probably right, too.
There comes a point when you have to just say NO to kids moving back in with parents. Barring total financial ruin, or something that absolutely forces cohabitation temporarily, children over the college age should be on their own. They need that freedom to learn to live in the real world on their own and be responsible for themselves.
Beth | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:12:05 AM | Leaving the nest is a necessary part of growing up. Those who don't are postponing an emotional growth stage. And emotionally retarded people are not well equipped to deal with things like relationships.
Do you have evidence that is postpones emotional growth. This seems more like your opinion then actual fact | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/25/2009 1:38:44 PM | "over 30 and still living at home"
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... Makes no difference whatsoever and it proves nothing. Many people are directly dependent on their parents anyway even if they're out on "their own". Live and let live. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:33:36 AM | | Its Rough out there, you know if you could stay home you would that is so BS you don't have a clue. If your mom and dad needed you to help them out and there were about to lose there home, you know in a heart beat you will be there cause of your memories you had in that home. When I lived out on my own I felt like I lost touch with my family and as I have been on here looking to date the one, I have had seen time after time "Really Close to my Family" so why not stay at home! Everyone has a reason whats yours? Maybe you can't see cause you don't have any compassion for your mom and dad, maybe that is why you are still single cause you frown upon anyone that still lives home. There is Reason for everything, who cares you still live at home, I love my family and I will do what is my best interest to help the ones I love! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:12:47 PM | LOL, if I had to move back in with my parents at my age, there would be a homocide within days. I love my parents, but they drive me nuts. They are set in their ways, and so am I. Plus my mother would be all up in my personal business, and I would be insane within hours.
I was talking to my dad hypothetically about this subject one time, and he laughed and said he would rather fork out money for my rent than have me move in with them...he said having me and my mother under one roof again would force him to move into the barn. LOL, God love him, he was probably right, too.
There comes a point when you have to just say NO to kids moving back in with parents. Barring total financial ruin, or something that absolutely forces cohabitation temporarily, children over the college age should be on their own. They need that freedom to learn to live in the real world on their own and be responsible for themselves.
Beth
 So if your kids do not make enough to live on there own should be kicked out? Wow you really have a heart. I guess they should become homless because that will sure make them responsible.  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/2/2009 1:21:30 PM | | Economy is so bad, it is hip to live at home over age 30, since everyone is unemployed. Thankfully I have my own home and still can pay the bills, if I had to moive back home I would probably commit suicide. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/6/2009 3:08:22 AM | | At this point I think there has to be a reason..... if they have never moved out and make good money just have mom do laundry and shite... it's terrible... Ontario is ripe with that... BC seems to be the rebound effect. Drop of the economy, loss of jobs, student loans, separations with kids involved.... I think you need to have an essay and justify the situation. Rent free.. dear god the emotional toll it would take on a person to drop all of the independence to live back with mommy and daddy... there is no such thing as free | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/6/2009 7:14:00 PM | I shouldn't say I live AT home but I do live upstairs from my mother in the same house. She is older and needs my help sometimes with duties around the house and someone to talk to at times.
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/10/2009 12:51:32 AM | I ended up moving back home after having moved out almost 10 years ago. I lost my job in the economy and while I still own a house, it had to be rented out to make ends meet. I'm glad I was able to find a reliable tenant to live there.
Incidentally, my sister has had nothing but medical problems nonstop and has been in the hospital for 6 weeks out of the past 2 months, and since she's going through a divorce, I'm needed here every day to help watch her 4 kids (2 toddlers and a set of 1 y/o twins) while she's incapacitated.
It sucks and I'm not proud of it, but I am needed here for the time being. I'm just hoping someone out there can understand that I didn't pick this situation - I feel like I've been dropped into it. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/12/2009 5:05:47 AM | | Let's face it, most women don't give a shit about WHY somebody's living with his parents. At the end of the day all that counts is that he IS living under the same roof as his parents. You could hold your head under your arm, blame the bad economy, walked out alive from battlefields, lived in a shoe box for the past 5 years, been to the Moon and back and barely made it, but hey, if you live at home you're a loser and the excuses don't matter. That's the truth and we all know it. Shallow? Sure. If you judge a book by its cover it certainly is. Everybody's got his own story to tell and the only question is who wants to listen. | |
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