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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:40:06 PM | I know more than a few people over 30 who have the emotional maturity of a teenager, even though they moved out of their parents home at a young age.
I have been on my own since before turning 21, but I would rather date someone who still lives at home, who is mature, than someone living alone who is immature. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 9/14/2009 6:18:02 AM | but what about when your over 30's and the old folks move in with you...
or is that another thread... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2009 11:50:12 AM | Well, my mother lives with me. I came to her aid about 12 years ago when she was ready to lose the only house she could ever call "hers". Then about 10 years ago I bought it from her. To be honest, it was a godsend when I got divorced to have her living there. I got custody of my kids and didn't need to find child care for when I travel for work.
Now as far as a single guy who has never left home and is living off of his parents......
that is SAD! I do have a friend just like that. He is 41 and is hardly ever employed...and when he is doesn't contribute to the house. That is wr0ng!! You need to get out and live on your own.
I just wish that when some guy/girl tells someone that they are living with a parent still over 30 yrs old, the other person just doesn't dismiss them. I can say that I have had at least a dozen connections with women on here that ended as soon as I said that was my situation. They didn't even give me a chance to explain that I own the home. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2009 8:33:56 PM | I have a 12 yr old son, who lives with me fulltime as I have custody of him. He is welcome to live with me until I die if he wants. I'm Hispanic, my father's family came from Spain 100 yrs ago to Indiana. Seeing how the Anglos around here treat their kids makes me physically ill. Here in Indiana, there are almost no jobs that pay living wages, even for college grads. You cannot live on the low wages the jobs that do exist here pay. The government of my hometown says that 75% of the jobs here pay less than $9 an hour and it takes an income of $12 an hour to support one person with no kids or spouse here.
I have so many friends, people I went to college with, who spent time living in their cars and in shelters because their families were ashamed that they couldn't find jobs. Thrown away. The people here preach that bullshit about how anyone who can't make a living is a loser. Whatever. I make a good living because I moved to New Mexico to learn more about my Spanish heritage (my family is ashamed to be Hispanic and they act as nasty and hateful toward each other and their kids as the local Anglos..uggh). I'm an artist, I have an art degree and a long record of exhibits and publications of my work. In Santa Fe, for the first time in my life, I made a good living. It took a month there to earn more than I had in the previous year in Indiana! Well I came back here to get custody of my son from his bipolar mother after she was committed to the state psychiatric hospital over a year ago. My patrons and clients in Santa Fe still give me work and an income so we have our own place. I had forgotten how greedy, hateful, judgemental and just nasty that people here are, I have seen several more friends end up homeless because of the recession and of course their families forgot who they were when that happened.
I know that with this country's economy the way it is, and the way it has been going the last 20 yrs (all the jobs either shipped to China or busted to $7 an hour levels) he will likely never find a good job, no matter how much education he has. I know people now with Bachelors, masters, and even a couple PhDs who have been unemployed a long time, some never could find a job. If he cannot support himself, he is welcome to stay with me forever. In New Mexico I saw how a family is supposed to be....together, for each other, forever, no matter what. My grandma Rosa would approve if she was still alive. My dad's generation forgot who they were.
The split second my son turns 18, we're going back home to Santa Fe. In Indiana custodial parents cannot move out of state with the kids till they are 18 without the other parent's permission. That;s understandable, it would effectively keep my son's mom from seeing him, and she is still part of his life (she's out of the hospital and sees him frequently now). | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/20/2009 9:11:47 PM | I tell this topic has gotten some great discussion here on the forums. I agree with those who saw the living with the folks thing is a Western society or North American cultural norm. However, I feel it can be unhealthy if the child living with their parents are not contributing at all to the household. I think one needs to at least get their own apartment or join the military and get out and see how they enjoy living without their folks around. Who knows they might like it better right?
If someone is 40 and they have never lived away from their parents. I wonder to myself why? Then again it's a cultural norm.
I have known several people who live away from their parents, but yet their parents are only 30 minutes from them. Is that really living away from their parents? Granted, they don't live in the same household as them, but why is that more of an accepted norm for those of us in North America? I use to think it was funny/interesting when girls would complain that I lived with my folks years ago, but yet they lived within five minutes of their folks.
Also, I thought it was funny when they did not take into consideration that I had lived overseas in Japan and in California for several years when I was military. Funniest thing I ever had happen was this one girl had a real problem that I was currently living with my folks even though she was doing the same thing. Though I was 28 at the time and she was 19. I was like, "But I have lived on my own before in the military and had my own apartment afterwords for a few years". I should have told her and I drive a $40K car and you drive a $10K car right? But I probably would have come off as a total pric saying that.
I think it's perfectly healthy for one to live with their parents as long as they are actively contributing to the household, they are trying to find work, they are making plans to eventually move out once money circumstances all them to do so, and/or they are going to college or some trade school. I do not like kids leeching off of their parents.
Advantages of living of away from the folks is that it is easier to make more friends, not ever have to worry about living under the rules of their parents, and they can have more privacy as well living on their own, and most importantly enjoy FREEDOM and satisfaction of nothing that you can make it on your own without any POTENTIAL unhealthy co-dependency from living with the folks long term.
Advantages of living with their parents is that they can develop closer relationships with them by spending quality time with them, SAVE MONEY, and help care for their folks when needed.
This is all my opinion though nothing factual. This is interesting reading all of the different opinions on this. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:22:03 PM | | Here's my opinion ,all the people bickering about this and that ,when the end of our world comes to an end , you are all gonna be running back to your parents . | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/21/2009 1:07:03 AM | | Had someone like that message me this week. No job, lives with his brother, no car so O said "No thanks". How the hell are you going to try and date when you have no transportaion (New york that can be done but in Texas you need a car) and no way to pay for anything. I could just see him trying to move into my apartment as soon as he could. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:33:19 PM | | I wouldn't care if the guy lived at home. Nothing wrong with saving money. I love families too, and i have barely any where I am. It would be kinda nice. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:41:24 PM | So yeah... I moved out of the house when I was 18 when I joined the Marines... While I was in North Carolina, I got my girlfriend - at the time - pregnant, and married her. We had our own place until I got out of the Marines, and we moved back to my parents' house because I had a job waiting for me when I got home. Soon after, she up and left, took my son with her back to North Carolina, because she couldn't stand being away from her mom. She didn't tell anyone she was leaving.
I filed for divorce, and continued living with my parents, ready to absorb the financial asswhooping I was about to receive from taking her to court.
I met a new woman, who was living on her own and in college, and we spent time equally in her apartment, my house - with my parents and my son - and her parents' house... It was great. When she got a job from her degree, we bought a house together, and got married. We lived in that house for 5 years together, before we both got sick of seeing each other too much, and I ended up moving back to my parents' house again, because of the impending financial asswhooping I was about to receive from splitting our business taxes and credit card debt in the divorce.
So yeah, I've been divorced twice, but I've only lived with my parents out of necessity. I have a LOT of debt right now because of both of my exwives, and my dad is retired so he can watch my son when I'm working my butt off to pay down all my bills. Whatever is left over goes to my parents.
That said, I've been "on my own" for 12 years, and only had to move back because of divorce or extreme financial hardship. If it were up to me, I'd be on my own with my son, but my current situation just doesn't allow it. I really don't have trouble dating - I do however have trouble cleaning my room all the time.... some things never change. =) if and when I bring a woman home to meet my parents, from that moment on, she is considered by my parents to be part of the family, and is welcome to be there any time, with or without me.
I've never mooched off my parents, though my friend likes to call me an "Atlas Moocher" (see Ayn Rand) because I live at home and often ask him if he's got any job openings at his place of employment... I've got a much better job than I had when I was asking, and I contribute to the maintenance of the house, so there's no sponging done here. I still feel bad sometimes, but I realize it's in the best interest of me, my parents, and my son. | |
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