| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 7:04:12 AM | At the age of 33, living at home is the only alternative for me. My reasons have always been economic-related.
All the Jobs that I have held have either been Casual or Contract and I have never held a Full Time position due to the fact that most of the jobs these days are either part time or casual and I just didn't know if I even still had a job the next day...
Second reason, I decided to study again - and my parents are very supportive of me at this time.
I always pay board and help out with groceries whenever I can and I have never had a curfew whenever I go out.
I also help put with the housework so not everyone who is in their twenties or thirties who still live with their parents are lazy. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 7:28:44 AM | My sister and I currently rent a house, she is a single parent to.
I do not really consider this a living at home situation obviously.
Both of us could have our own pads, but why?
This gives us both extra $$ and is working great. It is a 50/50 situation, plus we help each other with our children. My niece and my son are both teenagers and having the balance of a man and a woman's approach is great.
If you are there temporarily thats one thing, or if you are there because you are needed to care for a parent thats actually quite admirable.
But, if you are there because you are incapable of cutting it on your own thats pretty pathetic. For those in that situation the parents really are not doing their kids any favours. Once the parents are gone then what?
People need to be taught life skills and learn to take responsibilty. Parents who support adults for any given amount of time really are not doing their jobs properly, in my opinion.
Its some silly north american standard that says kids have to go by a certain age.
It might be silly to some, but to the majority its quite rational.
It depends on why it is happening. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 8:20:58 AM | I think this is a classic example of parents failing to do their jobs.It is a parents responsibility in raising children to teach them how to navigate life, so they can step out in the real world and take care of themselves.It makes absolutely no sense for a healthy grown man to be in his parents house,unless he is retarded which could be one reason why he might still be their .That being said i'm glad you have moved on. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 10:01:09 AM | | my ex gf, 35, just married her ex bf, 38, not exactly living at home, but his mom lives upstairs. And she told me I was crazy for wanting to rent for a bit before buying a house... I guess owning it but having to rent out half to your mother/mother-in-law beats waiting a couple years and having your own place to yourselves. They only share the laundry room and utilities, but still lol. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 12:41:04 PM |
Unless you are living with your parents under certain narrow reasons...recent divorce, parents sick and your taking care of them, etc there is no reason for an emotionally intellectually mature adult to still be living at the parents house. Especially not at 30 years of age.
I definetely agree. Financial is another reason. If it goes on too long, then there's a problem. I have lived on my own since I was 23. I have had roommates though. Can't ever ever imagine going back home. Ug. Not keen on dating men who live at home unless I get to know them well and know the reason. On a first impression I have to admit, it can be a drawback for me. I have dated one guy who lived at home, but he moved out not long after we met and had planned to do so anyway so no problem there. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/22/2006 2:14:56 PM | | I have never had a problem with dating...once people know me and my situation and life history!.. people do stereotype though, my moms 57 and has health problems, If I left she would be screwed and... why would I..lol! the house is part in my name and has been in our family for over 35 years, plus I just did $5'000 in renovations...what get my mom to sell and go into a s*** apartment..lol People dont use there heads sometimes...think!! | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 57 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/24/2006 11:05:07 AM | i guess all i have to say is i disrepect freeloaders...ones who take so much from others and give nothing in return. the reason why this angers me so much is i see every day how much my ex mother in law is taken advantage of by her stupid assed son.
It saddens me and no matter what i say or do she simply refuses to open her eyes boot him out and let him grow up.
I will always be there for my parents and my grandmother when she was ailing..and my fiances mother when we may take her in. children have the responsibility to respect thier families who gave so much and to shrug off or take advantage of thier good will pisses me of like crazy!!
and to the poster who asks why i chose a moron like my ex?? his true colors did not come to light until he became a parent and husband. You simply cannot walk away from that..you work on it..but to not have a willing partner to help also..?? its very difficult to LET IT GO.. when you see them almost every day...
lol i gotta move to another country | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/24/2006 5:30:08 PM | | You know I have to say, if you have a great relationship with your folks and they welcome you to stay then why not? Put money away for a down payment for a house, or for investments. I would rather see my son leave home and buy a house than rent. I might feel differntly when he is older but why have kids just to kick them out? That makes no sense. I have known people that lived at home until they could afford to buy a house. Their relationship with their folks is awesome. Why not do that for your kids? | |
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cat125
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Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 59 | |
| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/25/2006 7:09:12 PM | | Maybe call it a momma's boy. My parents would laugh at me if I asked if I could live with them! Call it lack of ambition, no responsibility. Run from this man! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2006 3:43:37 AM | I have always lived with my mom. AT 33, it's easy for many to judge. But I have made money enough to pay for the two bedroom apartment, even when it was 900 a month! Also the utilities and everything else. Basically, I had enough to outpay most of you and your roommate situations, so I already beat you on the financially responsible argument. My money goes to my mom, it goes to my aunt, it goes to friends who are in big trouble and can't pay their bills cause they "went on their own". I am still waiting to see how all you living on your own are doing so great. My mom has health problems, and after her divorce, has no one who is there for her. You could call me the reverse parent in the way. Most any guy who has dated me, once he sees the situation, wonders how I do it all and how "I" can be so responsible, and I notice many who are in these situations are really noble amazing people, who are much stronger than most of you judgmental folk that think hanging out with some loser roomates makes you so much better than the rest of us. Cause when I look back on my life I want to know I was helping ol' "steve and harry" out instead of my own flesh and blood. And yes, I do have an ethnic background, and in that background, if you turn your back on your family when they are in need, you are pretty much disowned from the family. So yeah, it's sad how America does it. Independance is all about making the right choices for what you deem is moral and good and right for your blood line. When I let strangers tell me how to act, then I know I am the loser.
M | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2006 1:38:34 PM | LOLOLO this is funny, I dated a guy for a couple weeks and in the begining he gave me some story about his mom comming from out of state to live with him as she was getting old, and needed some help. At that time im thinking.(what a sweetheart he takes care of his mom)
well then it came time for me to meet mom, as we began to talk it was told to me how she had come from out of state 4 yrs before and purchased the home. i was in shock..as i just descovered that not only was this guy 41 and living with mom, but a out right lier,and in debt to mom for a few thousand dollars for not paying his share of the rent!! Needless to say I dont see him anymore hahahahaha...did the dumb ass think i would never find out? Did he lie to impress me? Why take me to meet mom after telling such a lie? His answer to this ...I FORGOT I TOLD YOU THAT>>>ohhh brother!! lololololo | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2006 2:26:37 AM | Who are we to judge . I was on my own a bit in 20s had personal situations so I did move back to my parents house[I live at home now in my own house ]. I moved into a crappy apt than by the time i was 34 I moved to Florida from NY by myself and now I have a nice house. The point is if someonewere to judge me they would say I would never be a homeowner let alone move 1100 miles someplace by myself. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2006 6:43:04 AM | | well stupid me I married men that had been living at home. When I divorced them they went back to their parents. One is 36 and the other is 40 both live at home STILL. I find that they are now caring for their aging parents and can't leave. So what goes around comes around. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2006 7:23:20 AM | I think your name says it all not-so-sure
what do you want...?
cause i can tell you, when ever i have dated someone who still lived at home (ok it has only been once in the past decade) it was a mistake. Cause that person had no concept of what the real world costs are.. like rent/morgage....food.... or anything else... the term unrealsitic princess comes to mind 
Now I did live at my folks in my late 20's for a year and a bit while my dad was going through some medical things... but that is the extent of it, and you know what since i have a different place to call home we are all happier  | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2006 7:41:18 PM | Hmmmmmmmmmmm.. What a statement!..
Well as many have said it all depends on the situation.. I don't need to go into details but I live at home along with my sister who is 6 years older then me.. It is by choice and it is a balanced atmosphere.. Our family over the last 6 months as had alot of downs and we 3 togther helped each other when we needed it most. I think that it says somthing for the bond we share when one is welcomed back into their family home..
Yes I had my own place but home is where you are loved and valued. I am both and I give both in return. When ever I meet someone new I do mention that I live at home. I have no qualm about not seeing someone again if they feel the need judge me without knowing my reasons..
At the end of the day it does not mater what those reasons are.. Am I asking you to live at home with me.. I think not!!...
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2006 11:50:45 PM | | Don't laugh... I may be headed there... but only for a month tops. In between housing... I think that makes me a mootch! | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/28/2006 9:57:12 AM | Try moving back in with your parents at 32. When I left my wife with my son, I found there was no help out there for the men looking to escape abusive relationships with their kids but all kinds of help out the for the women. Since men are usually the bad guys in that sitation, it only stands to reason. My parents took us in and gave us the stability we needed to move on. Now, 7 moths later, my son and I are moving into our own apartment.
Sometimes living with your parents past 30 can be necessary. Keep in mind though that it's really only a taboo in this part of the world. In other countries, they seem to have place real value in keeping families together, a quality that we here in North America seem to have lost... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/28/2006 3:37:38 PM | Don't forget that for some people the situation is reversed. They're not living with their parents, their parents are living with them.
For a while my mother was in a rather corrosive home environment. I was trying to convince her to move in with me. Strictly speaking, under that circumstance, I'd be living with my mother.
An ex-girlfriend of mine was successful at moving her mother into her house. Her mother had medical needs which weren't being taken care of. So yes, I dated a woman who was 30 and living with her mother :-)
But I think you can quickly spot the difference between somebody who's never been pushed out into the world, somebody who's got very strong family values, and somebody who's become a provider to their parents. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/30/2006 9:07:18 PM | we;; its one thing to move there for medical reasons i.e parents sick etc.... or breaking and then coming home for a while untill you get back onto your feet etc... But the whole i live at home and mummy wummmy wipoes my ass and my snot and i dont pay a single thing while i play on the puter cause im a loser and mummy wummy takes cae of my kids....BULL#$###... LOSER central...yeah thats cool i guesss its one of those stop cooking with cheese things toiget them the hell out of the house..stop sucking on mummys tit and be a real man....slash women...christ grow up loser ville... | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/1/2006 8:08:20 AM | | Anyone still living at home with mommy after their 25th birthday, should seek immediate counselling. I'm not talking about a person that has to go back home for a week or two becuase they are waiting for their new house to be ready, or are in a tough spot. I mean the guy/girl that has never left home and will stay by momma's side like Norman Bates. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:41:28 AM | | Thats pretty sad that you would have to live at home over 30 means you never grew up or maybe your a momas boy not attractive. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:42:20 PM |
But I think you can quickly spot the difference between somebody who's never been pushed out into the world, somebody who's got very strong family values, and somebody who's become a provider to their parents.
I fully agree. For example, if someone were to brag about what kind of car their father has, or generalize that they're more mature than most people - and then scream unnecessary profanities; or if someone were to assume that their rent is higher than most of ours just because it's more than they've paid before; then it's easy to see that they haven't yet been out on their own. And that lack of experience puts them at the same disadvantage when hoping to date a 30+ year-old man that a young girl would have: a lack of things in common and an inability to connect.
It's interesting how defensive some people get about this topic, even before anything was aimed at them. I wonder what the underlying fear is that motivates that kind of reaction. I don't think anyone who's posted anything in this thread is the kind of loser that was originally described, and yet some have lashed out in defense of their own situations. Maybe at some level there is some regret or other negative emotion coming from their situation? If so, then I hope they take the time to really reflect on it and decide whether there's anything they can or should do now to try to prevent the "coulda woulda shoulda" later on. That feeling that you've made the wrong choice can be nasty, but nothing like the feeling of realizing that it's not just a matter of making a better choice next time because now it's too late - there is no more next time. | |
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| over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:19:09 PM | Well....I have to say mr playful you seem to think you know everything don't you? Well you don't.
I've lived on my own, and I do have a concept of what the real world costs. I have a good job, I pay the bills and buy food. I don't sponge off my parents like some people who live at home do.
You say unrealisitic princess, maybe your right BUT you don't know me or the whole story so don't be so quick to judge me.
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