| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:08:43 PM | I've met people without viewing any pics first.  
However, Im here to meet up with fellow equestrians and if it grows into more, great.......if it doesn't at least I've made a new friend. Whenever I meet up with someone I go into the scenario with no expectations....I think that is the problem with alot of people on here......they enter the internet scene with too many expectations and place to much value on someone's damn profile pic(s). | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/2/2006 6:12:53 PM | I have to agree, ladyluck, you have to go in without expectations. I took have met people without viewing pics first. Oddly enough, some of those have been my best experiences.
I tend to not worry about the picture as much as the words. A pretty picture tells me nothing of someone's mind, sense of humor, interests and tastes. While it's true that profile words can be incomplete or misleading, it will always show at least one thing - the ability someone has to express themselves in written form. Since intelligence is one of the personal qualities is require in order to have a successful relationship, a well-written profile at least helps me identify that much. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/2/2006 6:31:01 PM | I think it's common to look at the photograph first cuz some honest people can admit that a physical attraction is important and I feel this is ok as long as A) that's not the only reason you respond to someone and B) that you don't overlook a minimal attraction to someone cuz you are being greedy and are waiting for something "better" to come along.
The problem with internet dating is you don't feel someone's chemistry online. Some people who would be overlooked online might do better in person because of their charisma/inner beauty or that certain je ne sais croix that can make them far more attractive than a simple picture could ever possibly achieve. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 1:24:36 PM | | NOthing wrong with it, since generally we decide on whether we want to date someone initially by the way they look. I know theres chemisrty involved, but you can only do so much in what you get online or in real life. You dont know that miuch of someone even if you met them on the street. Online give you a chance to learn what they say about themselves and when you meet gives you an extra chance to build on trust is what they have said is what they still say and do. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 2:12:27 PM |
two people thrown together yet really know nothing about it each other. The first date could be bad, but do you give each other the benefit of the doubt????
So what's the difference between what you just described and meeting someone outside of the internet? It's the exact same thing " two people thrown together yet really know nothing about it each other. The first date could be bad, but do you give each other the benefit of the doubt", right? | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 2:21:25 PM | Is rather Superficial if u ask me? i have met some remarkable men in here that have pics on their profile & some who think that they are not gorgeous have the biggest heart than the ones that are gorgeous..
I have spoken to ones that completely Downsize that they are into the LOOK factor rather than getting to know the person for who they are & not for what they look like from the outside....
Too many expectations. Too many trials & errors.. Too many superficial ppl... Too many liars & doesnt really being honest with their intentions....
I have given up on dating too after my engagement ended seeing its my third one that slipped away to someone else while he is with me... So i think I am jinx.... despite the fact that i am told I am cute & quite appealing so I am sure it wont be hard for me out there but I am not looking anymore... I have given up too.... | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 2:42:42 PM | In a way, I think that Internet dating is actually harder, and I will try to explain
why I feel this way.
When you know someone from the net and you are going out to meet them,
you already have envisioned in your mind what this person will be like. Most
of the time, you are thinking with high expectations, all dreamy and in lala land.
Secondly, people lie on the net about things that you can not see, such as
their real height or weight, or age.
Also, people tend to only judge a profile by the pics on it...which is not
good.
You may not agree, but a lot of online daters are shallow minded. They
set the bar pretty high, because they think online dating is like ordering
from a menu.
Thanks, and bye!  | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 5:35:11 PM | Cause some people want a barbie or a ken cause of the looks. Its whats inside a person that counts. They cant get passed the pictures to actually see anything else. I have dated guys without pictures and they are very goodlooking outside and inside.
My problem is all the lies on here, they hide behind this box. Iam a very honest person and
thats what I ask in return. Thank you, Annette | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 6:22:29 PM |
Cause some people want a barbie or a ken cause of the looks.
"MYTH: Barbie and Ken are hot!
Fact: If Barbie were a real woman-She would have to grow to be seven feet tall. She would have a bust that was between 38-40 inches, her waist 18-24 inches, her hips around 33-35 inches. Barbie's weight would be 110 pounds. If she were a real woman-Barbie would have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. If Ken were a real man-he would be seven-feet, eight-inches tall. An average man would have to add seven inches to his chest and about eight inches to his neck to equal Ken's measurements"
Yeah that's what everyone wants...NOT!!!
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 6:49:49 PM | There are too many people who misrepresent themselves on the internet. When someone puts up a photo, you really don't know if it's that person until you meet in real life. And sometimes they're exactly what they seem to be, and other times they aren't. It's a chance we take.
However, we're only human. When you go out to, say, a bar or nightclub, you usually strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive for one reason or another. Attraction is different for everyone. That's what makes dating and meeting people a fun thing.
But whether we meet people on a web site or in a bar/singles group/party, there is no guarantee that we'll find true love. We just keep moving on, hoping that somewhere out there we'll meet our soul mate/partner. (I just hope he's not in some remote, far-away place like Australia or Alaska) | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/4/2006 4:52:13 AM | Pgh, I agree with you.
One of my biggest pet peeves on this site is.......... guys who look at my pics but don't read my profile!!! They miss the bold lettering that states, "IM AM INTERESTED IN MEETING UP AND CHATTING WITH FELLOW HORSEPEOPLE ONLY!!!" I get mega emails from guys who think Im cute but can't read nor have anything common with me. Read the bloody profiles before you contact someone!!!  | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/4/2006 6:44:54 AM | Well, people tend to try to make it more like real life, when it isn't.
I find it fun to chat to a woman with a picture less profile, it makes me use my imagination and i need to get to know her for who she is, while most people just looks at the picture and decides if they are right type just by how their sexual parts react.....a totally wrong thing to go by.
Cause when they are right for you, its by sexually and personality, if its their body that you are into, but not the mind, then they ain't your type.
I give every woman a chance, picture or no picture, i know what i want, someone nice, kind, caring and romantic, looks don't really matter, though they are good to look at, as long as you were born a female human, i am good. :) | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/4/2006 1:32:12 PM | I agree totally. People are people, some are candid, some not. The world outside cyberspace is not so different from that within. I do believe, however, that one of the advantages of internet dating is that if an individual posts a thorough profile and you pay careful attention to the code words, you can learn more about someone than you might on four or five dates. It is a tool to be used by those savvy enough to realize its advantages. Besides, if you restrict first meetings to coffee they need not be that long or horrible. I find that if you put some effort into it, you can learn something new from just about anyone.
Steve | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/4/2006 1:47:37 PM | actually i think the key to success for internet dating is the foundation which is laid  before the actual meet  one should invest many phone hours brain picking their prospect! slow it down a notch! date with friends (as in double dating) once you get a good feel for a potential mate then things could become more intimate as in dating one on one!
it's always OK to give up or surrender  hey works for me | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/5/2006 5:46:12 PM | | Internet dating is hard because both people sometimes dont know what to expect when they first start talking. I know from experience had over my lifetime alot of women hang up on me after they ask me what my profession is. I mean I never understand where do people get this idea if a person is a caretaker he does not make any money. If I told some people how much i make they would be jealous of me. For me internet dating and not internet dating is hard for me because I dont fit what most women want. | |
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akula
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 92 | |
| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/5/2006 9:34:02 PM | for people like me intrenet dating really kills your ego.lol.you realize how little worth you have to the opposit sex .lol  | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:58:24 AM | | The biggest problem is the pool of singles who are actually using the internet for dating purposes. There is probably a 1 percent of all singles using the internet so that leaves the other 99 percent elsewhere so thats the biggest problem. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:11:43 AM | Leave the other 99% where they are! I like my odds better there! 
Ive tried the internet thing and this site is alot more superficial then others Ive tried. Nothing beats making real life connections though. At least your not getting judged based on a picture! (which is what everyone does on dating sites, like this, whether you want to admit it or not) | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:18:36 AM | Isn't it just like a normal dating?
Can be a date you met from a cafe, can be a date your coworker set you up?
To take sometime to commuincate by email or IM is most of the users suggestion so far I came across in here. With more communication beforehead, you might not feel like meeting a stranger, but a known friend.
-this dosen't not includ those send you fake photo
-this dosen't not includ those are lying
-this dosen't not includ no chemistry
That's all I can suggest for you so far. Good luck.
Z | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:18:54 AM | | It is hard because we get our nerves worked up before the meeting and by the time we actually get on the date we are a basket of nerves! I dont know why we torture ourselves! | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 1:40:37 AM | Yes there are disadvanages to internet dating but look at it this way. Other forms of socializing as in bars, clubs, parks or any public place in general where the average person meets someone else. But lets take the bars and clubs for example. A lot of people meet this way and form a relationship. It might not be a matched made in heaven but from my obeservation when seeing couples in public places i can tell ya there's a bunch of mis-matched couples. Attractive women with the lesser attractive guy. Nice looking guy with jaba the hut. Hell look at the divorce rate something is wrong here and a lot of them didn't meet on the internet but yet we still give the stereotype online dating as scary or dangerous. But if you look at the statistics on date rape drugs at some of the college parties and bars that somehow gets overlooks and people just say its next to none existance. But also you take the average guy who some girl meet on the internet if he doesn't have his hair comb right then he lied about his looks.
IMO if you have the right attitude about online dating and overlook the stigma and stereotype it receives then you can actually find a decent person. The biggest problem is peoples confidence in it. Thats why so few people actually get on here and do this. But if the online dating has 10 or 20 times the people on here then im pretty sure you can find someone with time.
I have dated and meet more women on the internet than any other form of meeting. You just have to use a method, have a nice picture, and pleasent profile and greet someone in a email exchange to make it work.
So why isn't this working bottom line lack of people and people confindence that this could actually work for them.
Another problem i see is its too diversified. Too many dating sites so that divides up too many people over too many sites. Also chat room, messenger rooms also play a role, a good portion of people will take a free ride in a exchange of words to someone who most likely they can't see in the first place.
If you can combine all the chat room, messenger rooms, dating sites all in one then you have a big pool of people to choose from.
I personaly think this is a great way to meet someone but i also think it boils down to just about everyone thinking this way. But a lot of us has doughts about the system so that leaves a lot of negative senerios and stereotypes. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:24:17 AM | | I think the main problem is that too many people come on these dating sites with a set stereotype in their head of what their looking for. If you don't fit this pre-conceived ideology then its as simple as you not having a chance with that person. Heck, theres plenty of people out there who aren't as photogenic as others. What are you supposed to do when your just somebody who just cant seem to photograph properly? Further, I find that in real life you are able to determine much faster what kind of compatibility you have with another person (whether sexual, purely platonic, etc). Less waiting, less time wasted and of course much more efficient if your good at reading people. Personally I like that playing ground better because it saves me the time and energy writing elaborate messages to complete strangers online, only to have a majority of them ignore you because you aren't perceived by them as physically attractive enough. In a real life setting the attraction is something you can determine within the first 1 minute of communicating with someone (does anyone not see an advantage here). The way into a woman's heart is through her brain, and i must say here in the online dating world if your picture is not up to par with her standards then this equates to nix communication, which drops your game to zero, regardless of what you have to say. At least in a real life environment, intelligent conversation and comments go a much much longer way. Personally it has never happened to me that I approach a one or a few beautiful woman in a bar or a club (8's or 9's) and I get a cold shoulder or get completely ignored on the get go. In these situations body language and composure is much more important then your looks. You have something good to say to her, and OF COURSE she will listen. Once you have her attention, half the battle is already over. Thats why you see so many attractive women with men who may not be up to the same level of looks as them; but then again if you think about it, it makes sense. All anyone really needs out there is a good dose of confidence, and of course just be yourself. Another very difficult thing to identify online -- who is being sincere with you and who isn't. How are you supposed to be able to tell that unless you invest all the time and effort to exchange emails, and eventually work towards a meeting with that person? Who has time for that? I certainly do not. Im not some kind of chump, I have plenty of experience with women and have absolutely no problems scoring dates any day of the week, or meeting women anywhere for that matter, and sure, I have pretty high standards! Personally I think I can tell how honest and sincere someone is within a short time of being around them (reading eyes/body language/picking up signals), so again Ill take my chances in real life. Good luck to everyone else in fish land though. | |
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fuzzle
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Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 99 | |
| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 11:45:54 AM | Ive tried the internet thing and this site is alot more superficial then others Ive tried. Nothing beats making real life connections though. At least your not getting judged based on a picture! (which is what everyone does on dating sites, like this, whether you want to admit it or not)
Do you really believe that this does not also happen in the real world? Whether you realize it or not, you are also being judged on appearance out there in the real world also ...unless you are walking around with a bag over your head?
So how is this any different than dating in the real world, apart from the fact that out there they are seeing you in person, instead of in a picture?
Attraction is not restricted to internet dating - who in the real world dates somebody they are not attracted to??? "Whether you want to admit it or not" you probably wouldn't date somebody you are not attracted to either, whether you meet them on the internet or in the real world. | |
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| Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 10/6/2006 12:03:24 PM |
Do you really believe that this does not also happen in the real world? Whether you realize it or not, you are also being judged on appearance out there in the real world also ...unless you are walking around with a bag over your head?
Of course you are pre-judged based on your appearance in real life, everyone knows that. In my case, I dont think but know, that I look much better in real life then I do in pictures. I know how to dress, usually appropriately for any given scenario. But what Im trying to bring into focus is that if a woman is not initially physically attracted to you in real life, depending on what comes out of your mouth you can turn the scenario around in your favor. Its all in what you say to her, and you DONT need an initial attraction from her side to get her to feel attracted to you. In the online dating world, once your not attractive enough she doesnt care what you write or say. You can be as eloquent as Shakespeare and that aint gonna get you anywhere.
So how is this any different than dating in the real world, apart from the fact that out there they are seeing you in person, instead of in a picture?
This is different from real life because you cant pick up on someones chemistry right away. Without being around the person or making eye contact you have no hint nor clue of where you stand in her books. (Its easy to tell in real life if someones attracted to you) Simple enough. The only advantage I see from online is the ability to make connections with people you would otherwise never have an opportunity to meet.
Attraction is not restricted to internet dating - who in the real world would date somebody they are not attracted to??? You wouldn't date somebody you are not attracted to either, whether from the internet or the real world "whether you want to admit it or not".
Attraction can stem from a variety of different things. That initial magnetism that attracts you to someone based on looks fades very quickly. Obviously, no one would date someone they were not attracted to, but dont ever confuse that if someone was not physically attracted to someone initially, that they never would be because I can prove you wrong several times over! | |
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