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 Sandi1001
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 76
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
on POFools I've been stood up about 5 times since being on here march 07 sick say what is up with that I guess they dont have a weekend pass for good behavior from the prison and or the institution stupid is as stiupid does did u know all babies were female when gestating (that means first started from seed guys) and then some genitic defects grow a penis and then loose their brain and become boys some of them get soem brains back most dont ergo "geniticdefective" ( that means cant think or do right guys ) anyway if we women think of things in that light we will not let that stupidness bother us as they are genetic defects and we are better off ....do you want a retarted person as a lover or mate good you dont meet////// be happy "to your ownself be true"
 StrangeMagic73
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 77
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:15:29 AM
To the OP (without having read the replies): Having never done this, I don't have an answer for you, sorry. I will always show up for a date I plan. Now, avoiding the planning of dates with someone I don't feel I'm connecting with is another matter.

I've been stood up, though. That was 'fun'.

 ChildfreeGlow
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 78
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:44:25 AM
I think it's terrible for anyone to stand another up. I've never been stood up on a subsequent date, but I've been stood up on a first date and it was through POF. I think the guy was just unable to face me given that he knew he had lied to me in emails and phone conversations. He later called and admitted as much, plus apologized for the no show and wanted to know if we could be friends... to which my response was "not really interested, but if you ever feel the need to call and chat, if I have the time I'll talk to you."

That said, I have one female friend who stood me up for lunch or dinner plans on two occasions. I am still friends with her, but I never plan on meeting her anywhere anymore. She's too flaky. In the first case she overslept after a nap (why not set the alarm clock?) and in the second she got tied up at an appointment (don't schedule plans with someone right after appointments of uncertain duration). I suspect some of that goes on with other people who stand up their dates. Some people just don't have their acts together.
 Mister Incognito
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 79
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:52:23 AM

Personally, I consider it a slap in the face if the guy doesn't think I deserve the common courtesy of a phone call or e mail. If you're not interested, why make the date in the first place??


I do it for amusement and to win a bet to see if they'd make a thread about it on POF.

I dunno why anyone else does it though.


 AAuroraAA
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 80
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:42:56 AM
Standing someone up seems to be a general lack of respect for others & an inflated sense of the self that causes people to behave like that; male or female. I've been stood up by dates as well as friends. I have more respect for myself than to tolerate repeat behavior by any of them. The excuse of just forgetting??? Boy that is really telling about how much respect that kind of person has for others! I don't even want peripheral friends who do that! Respect is an intregal part of any kind of relationship. No respect, no trust= no deal.

In the case of finding a prospective date has totally misrepresented themselves, I have to admit that I would be ticked & insulted by that too. I look so much like my pictures that strangers could pick me out of a crowd. People who knew me when I was 7 yrs old could do the same. The option of pretending not to be who I am isn't an option for me to even try. I don't think I would do it even if it were though. In those situations I have been polite & friendly, but didn't offer any future expectations.
 HDynasty81
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 81
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 11:45:15 AM
To be fair, I don't think this type of habit is relegated to just one gender. I've met women who would agree to a date/meeting and then the night of the date, they're nowhere to be found and not even the courtesy to say they aren't coming or don't want to come.

I wasn't upset or anything, a bit dissapointed but it'd be nice for people to be forthright with one another, especially when planning a possible meeting.
 LUCIOUS LUCIE
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 82
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 12:44:13 PM
listening 2 your quams. i can say that he was not a v reliable sort any-way. he has'nt matured at all. keeping u on the back boiler basically. sorry iam a woman. having 6 brothers, it is second nature to no wat there game is. if he was on this ,he obviously met sum one else. good job 2. he was'nt worth u getting ready 4. lucie .....
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 83
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:08:57 PM
Women stand up men too. There have been plenty of threads on this board about it. But when you are meeting a stranger and expecting Jessica Alba, and Janet Reno shows up. It's a problem.
 Big Lars
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 84
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:21:41 PM
I got stood up by a woman who never called or anything! Several days later she called and was all apologetic and had a semi-believable excuse so we arranged another date...once again she was a no show and couldn't be bothered to call. Three strikes and your out so I gave her one more chance and...you guessed it, she never showed (I must admit that the hostess was happy because she was obviously having a bad day so I gave her the rose. It put a smile on her face...she almost cried!).
I moved on and eventually began talking through e-mails to another woman, things went well so we decided to meet, guess what...Three chances...three no shows!
What's the deal?
I hear so often about men being scum and treating women so terribly but women are just as bad if not worse. You just have to keep looking for the right one.
I personally have never stood anyone up, if things don't work out...so what? It's a few hours out of one night of my life
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 85
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:21:34 PM
if i somehow got a woman to go on a date with me, there's no way i would stand her up
 Spacechickadee
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 86
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:28:17 PM
I have never been stood up for a date........until this week and it happened twice! My profile in honest and my picture is current so that's not an excuse. I emailed both of them afterwards and one emailed me back and said he got stuck in traffic. He didn't have my cell phone number. He knew where he was meeting me and the time. He could have called the restaurant. That is what people used to do. So I wished him well on his search. The other stood my up tonight and I have not heard from him yet, if ever.
 Will5757
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 87
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:25:08 PM
it's going to happen to both men and women.

i setup a date, decided to catch the bus rather then take my bike (hey, gotta keep the hair looking pretty sometimes) I showed up a half hour early (usually like to be somewhere around there, just in case) stayed a half hour past, and went home. get the typical feel so bad bull, tell her to call me next time. didn't really count on anything though, after the first week i decided i was just another notch in the belt.

it sucks, waste of time, but it won't get me down, forget her and move on

I, would never stand anyone up, hell, i even call if i said i was going to visit someone and don't, or party or whatever i was supposed to do
 StevenCheese
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 88
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:50:10 PM
I don't think I've ever stood a girl up. If I did it was probably unintentional. Like my fantastic add mind got preoccupied and I completely forgot who I was while having an outerbody experience. I always blame the aliens but I suppose that gets old.
Yeah whatever excuse whether dog ate my homework or kidnapped to go fishing it really sucks to do that kinda thing. Some people also are just spineless.
 StevenCheese
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 89
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/14/2008 10:52:12 PM
/quote I do it for amusement and to win a bet to see if they'd make a thread about it on POF.

I dunno why anyone else does it though.

Lol. I think they do it for the same reasons. Or them aliens got to them too >.<
 verve73
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 90
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 7:38:02 AM
my theory - if your excuses were valid(believable) i'll give you another chance. but three strikes and your out like yesterday's trash. whatever...not worth my time and energy.

don't you love it when guys (or girls)..come up with elaborate stories as to why they can't keep the date. i'm being sarcastic of course. oh yes being stood up is crappy..but sometimes the dumb stories that explain why they can't meet or come after the awol experience..is enough to make my stomach turn...and we all know what these stories sound like. somtimes you don't need a story you just need a head's up. that will do. this isn't a soap opera.

 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 91
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 11:22:49 AM
There is NO excuse for anyone not showing up at a date besides actual emergencies. I think cancelling a date at the last minute is rude as well, but it's not quite as bad as not showing up.
 Wimmer
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 92
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 1:37:46 PM
Because they have something better or sluttier to do. :)

There's no interest in you so move along and forget him.
Dunk the fishing rod back into this huge lake and .............wait don't dunk too much in this lake......bring Lysol with you.
 Note To Self
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 93
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 2:16:45 PM
I have been stood up by the same guy 4 times and the worst part is that I have never meet him talked to him over the phone or IM we have just messaged each other on POF and the fact that even after all that I still talk to him on here and I agree with the person that said if it sounds or looks to good to be true it probably is not
 sanderick
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 94
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 4:48:04 PM
4 times?!?!?!?!?

Once with No excuse would be the last. Repetition. No thanks.

This is a big red flag. First evidence that they don't respect you at all.

 pierre_max
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 95
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:00:24 PM
It's only happen when they lie.That's mean they already have someone waitting .lol
 SavannahSaucy
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 96
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:26:21 PM
I realize that this question is directed towards the guys, but it's interesting to read about other people's experiences. In 10 years of dating, I've been stood up 3 times. So, obviously most men don't treat prospective dates so rudely ... orrrrrr, I've just been lucky?

Once, the guy was supposed to meet me at a coffee shop. I waited for about 30 minutes. I sat at a table near the door, so as to be conspicuous. I did see one man who vaguely resembled his online photo (not from PoF ... this was years ago). But, his appearance was different enough that I didn't feel comfortable approaching him. He later did claim that he was there. If that was true, he looked nothing like the picture on his profile; he was much heavier, and looked about 10 years older.

The second time, the guy never showed up at a restaurant. He called after the fact, and wanted to reschedule. He said that he got "cold feet." Nope, not gonna happen. I don't date men who have so little respect that they wouldn't bother to call a woman in advance to cancel. And, if he had so little self-confidence that he really did get cold feet, he wouldn't have been for me, anyway.

The third time was definitely the most confounding. I had dated this guy for 4 months, and we were exclusive. We made plans to spend the next weekend together, upon my arrival back to town from a work-related trip. On the morning I was to arrive back into town, he E-MAILED me to cancel, with some lame excuse. Technically, I suppose this wasn't being "stood up." I guess he was too chicken to call me because he knew how insincere his reason would sound. It hurt terribly, because I thought we had developed a level of trust, and I felt disrespected that he couldn't have been honest about whatever his true reason for ditching out on the date (and the relationship) was.

I try very hard to respect another person's time. I have only rarely had to modify plans because of some unavoidable schedule conflict. If someone makes the time to meet me, I'm going to be there barring an emergency. Even then, I would call well in advance so as to give him the chance to make alternate plans. I expect the same consideration, and for the most part, it happens civilly out there in the dating world.
 garnet73
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 97
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:00:51 AM
This post was dead for almost two years, and most of the people who posted in the first 3 pages are long gone.

I've never stood a woman up on a date... only ever been stood up once... maybe twice. I'd usually offer a second chance, but probably not a third.

When I was much younger working in retail, and on commission I'd frequently encounter these guys who would put together what would be a decent sale for me... but before actually letting me close the sale, they wanted to arrange a meeting with me later to "pitch a business idea" my way. I felt like I was being blackmailed... that if I didn't agree to waste my personal time to listen to some Amway spiel I'd lose the sale and waste my work-time too. So, I'd agree to meet... and then just not show up.
 jorel78
Joined: 12/29/2004
Msg: 98
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:59:01 AM
"I read in an earlier post that some guys do this a game to "keep a woman interested" ???"

so did ya read the post about women standing guys up, to keep them interested, look man hater, you need to not blame all men for what one guy did, he probably stood you up for the reason of you, always generalizing men in a bad way. ok now i will be nice, he stood you up, he is wrong for doing that, he lied to you and for that he is wrong. you blaming all men for something he did, you are in the wrong. you continuing to go after men who stand you up, just plain dumb. choose your dates wisely so this doesn't happen again.
 BigTexCookin
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 99
For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:21:10 AM
Well, I have been stood up a couple of times and I never allow the chance to do it again. My pictures are current and I'm way too honest about myself for anyone to be even remotely misguided. In fact I rarely contact the guy first, because if he wants a big chick he's going to message me. My theory is that some of the guys just like to toy around with people they aren't really attracted to. See how many hoops they can make a big women (and other types of women) jump through for their own kicks. Just let it roll off your back. Keep expectations low and it's easy to forget it. :)
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 100
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For the guys - why do you stand up women on dates?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:28:32 AM
"See, I'm such a grouchy pain in the ass I rarely get dates to begin with, so it's hard to relate.

I'd like to have a blind date just so I COULD get stood up! "

This is soooo funny!!!javascript:smilie('')
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