| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 10:45:41 AM | | No. I am a smoker, I am a mother, I am also not a drunk, druggie, weed head, looser, unemployed living off someone, yeah this list could go on....Oh, do you know what all those things have in common? Yup, that's right, choice! I choose to smoke, I work, I buy em and by God I'll smoke em till I decide otherwise.... they key component here is the "I" statement. Smokers pay a higher tax than people who buy alcohol which by the way destroys more lives in the most horrific ways..... I've never once had the urge to beat the Hades out of anyone after say ten smokes. I've never heard of a smoker going balistic and shooting a family member strung out on Marlboros, crossing the median and killing a family in a minivan bleary eyed from one too many Salems, I've never heard of a man slipping a micky into a filter and date raping a woman as a result of the same, I never heard an abuse survivor recite time and time again that he was strung out on cigarettes all the time and beat her and the kids nor has a newsflash come across the "idiot box" announcing a man is hold up with a gun and a carton of cigarettes theatening to shoot the police unless they develop an ultra light in his brand.... okay the last one was kinda out there but still you get what I'm sayin'. The fact of the matter is, smokers carry a higher tax burden than all the other "sin taxes"... so if philip morris goes out of business and it becomes a flippin crime to smoke then who do you think is gonna absorb the difference that's right.... YOU, the non smokers, and wont you have something else to whine about then? LOL Put on your big girl panties, build a bridge and get over yourself..... MILITANT SMOKERS UNITE! | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 10:54:23 AM | | Well I'm a smoker and looking to quit this year. Should be done by Feb 1st is my goal. I guess I am doing this in a way for a dreamboat but before I meet them. I'm obviously doing it because it isn't healthy for you but also because now a days a lot of people do find it gross. I find on here many don't want to be with someone that smokes so I guess it is going to open more doors. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 11:06:43 AM | I am a smoker. I had someone ask me to quit for them. I really really tried. It was a lot of pressure. It is an addiction. I couldn't do it :(
I am not going to do it as a New Year's Resolution. I am going to do it though. I will do it by Feb. 14th. I think that it is a romantic date and that it will have meaning for only me if I do it by then. So before you all say that I'm doing it for "the man"....I'm not. I'm doing it for me...for what we were... and for the better life I'll have by making the decision to quit.  | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 11:30:59 AM | Absolutely NOT!
It's been proven that nicotine addiction is in the same class as heroin addiction.
How many recovered heroin addicts do you know? The only ones that I know are dead.
It's a strong enough addiction that it really has to come from within if you're going to attempt to fight it. I think that the same is true for all addictions. You should never go into a relationship thinking that you are going to change someone's addictive behavior. In fact, that's a good way to lose someone. If given an ultimatum, most addicts will just feel strong resentment towards you. You will never win out over the substance!
I even poke fun at this idea in my profile:
" Potential friends, be advised that my cigarrettes will always come before our friendship."
A lot of people hate me for saying that. It's sad, but, oh so true!
It's not that I don't care about you, it's just that my dopamine and serotonin receptors don't scream in agony when YOU walk out of the room. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 11:31:19 AM | | I could never quit for someone else, if and when I quit it will be for me, quiting for another person just isn't the right reason to quit. Personally I plan on quitting this year and before the end of winter 2009 or whenever I run out of smokes whichever comes first. The only reason I'm waiting for the cigarettes to run out is because I don't know another person that smokes non-filters. Otherwise I'd quit sooner. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 11:38:40 AM | Would a non-smoker begin smoking to get with their dream mate??
I would hardly think so.
And just like any other addiction..............
If you quit for anyone other than yourself?
You're almost guaranteed to relapse.
Personally, my last smoke was on December 1st.
I quit for me!
Because I'm worth it.
Nuff said. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 11:56:28 AM | I tried it briefly that way...but then he complained that I was gaining weight.
I think I would need to stay away from the dating scene if I were to try again...or be in a much more supportive relationship. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 12/30/2008 2:47:02 PM | | I struggled to quit smoking FOR MYSELF, and a good incintive was the fact that the man I "loved" hated smoke. I quit for 9 months. For 9 months, he accused me of smoking behind his back. Then I found a SPIT CUP in his truck!!! What a hypocrite!! (I am going to stop someday again, but for me, and my son.) | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:45:11 AM | | No way....I smoke because I really enjoy it. I do confine it to one tiny room in the back of my house, although I'm aware it still leaves your clothes/hair smelling less than fresh. I brush my teeth often, and make a lot of effort to be as considerate as I can. If that's not acceptable, we'll have to part ways. For this reason, I would most likely never date a non smoker. I absolutely detest having someone else's value judgements imposed on me. When I meet people, I either accept them as they are, or I don't spend time with them, and I expect the same curtesy. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:05:20 AM | | I don't have a pat answer for it. Since I'm already aware I should quit, if I met someone I really, really was into, and she said "I like you but hate that you smoke," and would be willing to be supportive of my efforts and not a banshee when I stumbled, it could be the additional incentive I need to get it done. I'm not sure I'll ever be a nonsmoker, though. Just a smoker who doesn't. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:08:07 AM | | The hook here is if you start the relationship out thinking how you can change them or how they should change for you then it is doomed to failure before it begins, so I think the question is mute. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:52:42 AM | | Well Im into girls, but I dont care how perfect she was, there is no way in hell im going to give up smoking for her. Thats just ridiculous. In fact I have dated a couple of non-smokers and let them know up front I wanted them to smoke. Luckily its much easier then I imagined to create a smoker. So I think the tables would be turned. Instead of me quitting, they need to start! Experience the sexiest and most enjoyable habit of all! | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 5/26/2009 5:28:33 AM | Just like any addiction - if you want to stop successfully you have to want it for yourself. Now, I could see if you were in an established and long-term relationship and your S.O. was concerned about your health, even then, you have to want to stop for YOU. We hear about men and women who get sober to save their marriage or family or their career / job. In recovery we still emphasize the fact that we must want it for ourselves. We emphasize that if we place those things before our sobriety / recovery we WILL stand the greater risk of losing those things and of relapsing. I do still see that it is a valid reason.
We each find our own reason(s). I didn't stop drinking until I was desperate enough and at rock-bottom. The thing about that is, once I got into recovery I met people who's version of "rock-bottom" made mine look like a stroll in the park. Many smokers won't stop until they learn they have lung disease or cancer and their life is being threatened. The question is; how low do you want to go?
I couldn't POSSIBLY see quitting any addiction for a "potential" partner though. That's just like saying "I'm willing to BE anything YOU want me to be" - which could be the start of a whole new problem (co-dependency) too. People that would go to THAT extreme likely will end-up resenting their "perfect" partner later on when they realize that, like any human being, she ISN'T. People that would go to that extreme are hoping that this person will somehow replace whatever feeling smoking gave them. In recovery we refer to this as "substitution". Many recovering addicts and alcoholics take-on other compulsions / obsessions and even addictions in order to substitute the one they are quitting.
It's merely replacing one thing for another. Replacing whatever void and empty-ness they feel within with someone or something else. The addict always feels as-if he or she is "missing" something from their life. They always feel as-if they need "more - more - more" of everything to fill that void. In recovery we learn to replace that with GOD, or a higher power of our own understanding. We learn to love ourselves as we are. True self actualization and self acceptance.
After all, most of us were just looking for drugs/sex/alcohol/cigarettes/whatever to do something for us which they never did. I never became cooler or more popular from drinking or smoking. They never made me a better person, a better lover, a better partner, a better friend, a better worker.
Just my 2ยข
Mike | |
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tanrae
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Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 617 | |
| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 5/26/2009 5:31:26 AM | | No I would no quit for them. If they really cared about me then they would tolerate the smoking and not make me change. I have been in relationships where I did quit smoking for the other person and it ended almost as soon as it began. I don't think that if you start dating someone and they right off the bat try to tell you you need to change this or that then it is destined to fail. I think that the best thing to do is just let it be and let that person be who they are. Everyone has flaws and no one is perfect and I think that people need to just realize that. | |
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tanrae
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Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 618 | |
| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 5/26/2009 5:34:31 AM | | YOU GO GIRL!!! I have to say that was the best rant I have ever heard! I totally agree with you on how we get the crap taxed out of us and that if I light a cigarette while driving I am not going to kill someone! These politicians are taxing cigarettes because god forbid they have to pay more money for their liquor! | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:45:50 AM | yes, i would try . . . hard! my last bf is a non smoker. he said it didn't bother him. but i always tried to be respectful. i didn't smoke in his house or his car. and when he moved in . . . . my house became non smoking. it was helpful for me.
btw, he is also a non drinker but loved to go out to the bars with his friends, me, the girls, he was the best DD i ever had! | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:59:13 AM | Did it. My boyfriend is a non-smoker, and to be honest I was ready to quit anyway, so he gave me the extra incentive to go ahead and quit. Not once did he ask me to quit, never did I feel pressured to stop, he accepted me as I was, smoke and all.
But he didn't smoke and I didn't feel comfortable or polite smoking around him. After a long weekend away together, I realized I hadn't smoked in 5 days. So I just didn't smoke from then on.
I still crave one every once in a while, especially during PMS, and I'll sneak a puff when that happens, but other than that, I like not smoking. My clothes and hair smell better, and so does my home. I credit my love for him with getting me to stop.
Thanks honey!
Beth | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:15:34 AM | | If you're happy to quit and can live without ciggys then why not? If you know you would struggle without them then to my mind you probably wouldn't be happy. I personally couldn't cope with the idea of giving up smoking (though I realise that one day something might come along to jolt me into the decision, but it wouldn't be for a relationship). It's each to their own, but I think if you make it plain that you are a smoker and have no intentions of giving up then people should respect that and put up with it, or move on to someone who suits their requirements. | |
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| Smokers: Would you quit smoking for your dreamboat?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:35:55 AM | I don't smoke, never had, don't like it. Would I ask someone to give it up for me? No, I wouldn't. I believe I've checked "no smokers" on my profile on here. Hopefully, people will understand not to contact me. Nothing against people who smoke; their choice, just like it's my choice to not be around it.
When I meet someone in the real world and find out that he smokes, that's usually the end of it. I just calmly say I don't care for it, he says, I understand and we part amicably.
I feel if you're adamantly against smoking, drinking, whatever - don't get involved with anyone with those habits. | |
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