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Posted: 2/16/2005 2:49:10 PM | First, contrary to te beliefs of most women I've encountered, love and sex are not different words for the very same thing, though I'd admit that they are often interrelated.
:) It really is simple biology / preservation of the species. A typical woman's greatest interest is in the size of a man's bank account. (or his ferrari, etc - items which represent wealth) Biologically, that represents ability to provide for her and children, assuring survival of children.
Men have a high interest in what a girl looks like. Biologically if he couples with a good looking girl, it is more likely that his female children will be physically attractive and hence will be more desirable which helps assure the future of the human species.
I might add, in nearly every one of my relationships I was totally devistated when the woman dumped me, usually for no good reason. Invariablly I feel the loss, severely, for at least 6 months after. It seems to me that women often have the ability to turn love off and on like a faucet. I don't possess that ability, nor would I want it.
bob | |
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Posted: 2/16/2005 9:30:59 PM | IF THE ONLY FAT CHICKS U KNOW R POOR AND DIRTY AND HAVE NO EDUCATON THEN WHERE THE HELL R U HANGING OUT, I KNOW PLENTY OF FAT AND SKINNY GURS THAT HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE GOTTEN MARRIED AND HAVE EXCELLENT JOBS.
I AM NOT A SKINNY PERSON EITHER BUT I HAVE A DECENT JOB AND A GOOD EDUCATION AND I HAVE NEVER MADE A MAN IMPOTANT.
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Posted: 2/16/2005 10:18:14 PM | | It is all in how you carry yourself, and how you feel about yourself. You have to understand that some people will not be attracted to you and vice versa. that does not mean that you are not attractive. Everyone is attractive to someone, so yes looks are important but not in the way people always take it. I am a confident gal. I know that I am a good person with a great heart and i feel that I am attractive. Not everyone is going to agree with me, but the people who are important in my life do. I am a beautiful, loving, and passionate woman, that is how all women need to look at themselves, and guys you put that in your own words for you. Carry yourself with pride and dignity and people see that in you. If you have a positive outloook on life then things will go your way. We all have obstacles in our lives, for some of that it is a weight issue, sometimes it is a personality issue, and for some it is the people in our lives. But the most common thread i find in people who say the whole thing about why do guys only go for skinny girls or why do girls go for guys with money, is that they generally have a negative outlook on things, or maybe you have been burned, but whatever it is get over it. Because you will not find what you are looking for in someone else, and you will definitely not find happiness through negativity. You are looking in the wrong places people. As cheesy as it may sound look in your heart and find yourself, cause nobody else is going to do it for you. I have had such incredible experiences through this site, and some experiences that could be construed as negative but i choose to learn from it instead. i am actually dating a guy right now that i met in person, but I have so many friends that I have met on here, and I have also met some people that would be great partners, just not partners for me. There is the sweetest guy on here, gooberdanny that periodically emails me just to update me on his dating life and see how I am doing, even though he is states away. Stop using this as another reason to complain, find a way to make this situation a positive one for you. Ok, seriously folks off my soap box now, I just wish that everyone could see things in the light i do for a minute, life is alot more fun, and alot more pleasurable this way. Not only that but it makes me pleasant to be around, which is a great quality in a soul mate. I am not trying to sound egotistical at all, just realistic. When you give off positive energy people reciprocate. | |
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Posted: 2/17/2005 11:30:24 PM | Hey, StarMagic, I tried to write you back to say, hey, you look like a very cool woman who laughs a lot (and, a longer letter), however - you have set the system to turn down everyone who isn't a man between 46 and 57. Maybe you should broaden your own horizons/open your own doors if you want others to do the same (maybe you didn't know you were setting the e-mails like that). I found myself wishing a man in his thirties (instead of 60s) would write, then I realized - hey, there's nothing wrong with guys in their 20s, either! Many guys in their 20s seem more open-minded, am I right?
Good luck, StarMagic, and, quick, change your settings to accept more e-mails! | |
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jaygp
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Joined: 1/20/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| No Love
Posted: 2/18/2005 7:36:19 AM | | i think that everyone has an attraction to a certain type of person. if you arent' attracted to that person visually, then it will be hard to be attracted mentally. i know that this seems shallow, but it's true. | |
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Posted: 2/18/2005 12:44:25 PM | | Those men still dont understand what love is, and beleive me you are a beautiful woman and the guy who will love you for who you are is out there searching for you and he will find you. | |
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Posted: 2/18/2005 2:12:30 PM | | I haven't found love yet on here, but I am hoping to soon. :) | |
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Posted: 2/18/2005 9:42:17 PM | | here's to me hoping to find love soon *pours a glass of wine* | |
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Posted: 2/18/2005 11:23:02 PM | Hi Starmagic,
At 23, I am realizing more and more the realities of life, and what cannot be changed.
It is true that most men have certain preferences, and often it is a slimmer woman. Maybe that is true because, biologically, a more fit woman can grab her children and run for safety if a charging wooly mammoth is headed for her hut/cave/whatever. I also believe that men are influenced by the media and other guys, just as women are pressured by the media and their pals to drool over "pretty" guys (aka Justin Timberlake girl-men)---btw, I'm not one of these females, I like a real man:-) And biologically, I should be predisposed to want a real man (one with some meat and muscles) because he would be a good provider and protector. Not that I need/want these things, but biologically that would make sense.
Anyway, boring science aside, it does hurt when you feel rejected, but you should not let this stop you from looking for your soul mate. Why would you want someone who does not desire you, after all? From your profile, you sound like an incredible person to me, and you certainly aren't ugly, so cheer up, and get back out there/get back online, whichever method works for you, and find the one. | |
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Posted: 2/18/2005 11:30:49 PM | wow rockrick I just wanted to say that boi sittin next to u on that chair is cute! lol...
rejection is the worst thing in the world that and heartbreak | |
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Posted: 3/2/2005 8:26:37 PM | I have found the same thing, some see that BBW standing out there and they know it means you are a big person and they look the other way. Do you buy something because of the pretty package on the outside or do you buy it for what is on the inside? Iam know I would not want to be with anyone who could not accept me for me. Iam a very loving and giving person and I have met some men who prefer the BBW's.
I don't put all men in the same category because I know that not all men are alike. Okay, so they prefer the barbies or they are really hung up on the outward appearances...and that is okay..that is their preference. I got news for the rude one who said big women are poor,have kids and are nasty/dirty....that is not true of all big women or big men. In all honesty I don't care what a person looks like....I have seen some nice lookin men and ones who have money and all but you know what....some of them are also men I would not waste my time on and that is not saying all men are like that because they aren't anymore than all women are like that. You can't judge others by what another one is like. We are all individuals and we all think differently.
For me, I just want someone to love me for me....not looking for Ken and not looking for someone who has money. Just would like to meet a down to earth,honest and sincere man. I may be a big woman, but Iam just as capable of loving someone as anyone else is. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I look at it this way, you cannot put all men and all women in one basket because I know for a fact that there are women out there who are just as much of a player and liar as some men are. Iam so sick of these double standards that society has put on the male/female gender.
I just know you can't give up because if you do then that means you have given in and they win. I haven't met the one for me yet, but one day I will find that one person who will take me just as Iam and not for what they want me to be. I like me and like being who Iam and so should you starmagic....don't give up! | |
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Posted: 3/2/2005 10:09:36 PM | Starmagic , belive thats not the case. I'm 5'6 120lbs and love dosent come my way either no matter what you look like no matter how goood of a person you are there are people who are going to hurt you. That's life i've been burnt so bad i dont know if i'll ever think of love how i once did but i learn from it .. one day the one will come the one who see's me for me who loves everything about me no matter how big or small just like they will come for you. This is a generation of messed up people who have no morals but one day one day you will find someone with old time morals an you will be happy just know what love is an dont settle for anything less.... love isnt dealing and people say u have to make compromises thats bullshit! You dont do that with love dont change anything dont wish u were somene diffrent be happy with who you are an someone will see what you know you are an will love you for all your good and your fault's ;) Keep your head up hunni that knight in shinein armor will come one day just make ur your gaurd isnt up to high to let him see you and not what people made you. | |
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Posted: 3/2/2005 11:18:26 PM | | Men are visual, face it, it's a fact.Get what you need from your frinds (emotinally) and for conversation. Save the "guy" for fixing things around the house, having sex, working on your car, going places with, but get a good emotional support team from friends. You can't have both and I know it, I have done surverys. Have you ever noticed that the ones that can well for their sake I will say 'make love' here, and those who know how to work? If I EVER find one that can do both it's a keeper, but I am too old to learn any new tricks now anyway. I believe what I believe about men, and it's soley from personal experience, so no throwing rocks now, maybe I JUST chose losers, but they were all Dammmmmmmn goooood in bed~ | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 9:56:00 AM | I was married 24 yrs some were good but most not.Being with someone is really hard work on both sides......
I would love to meet my soul mate and I hope I have but still not sure.I meet hem on here 4 months ago.We are taking it slow becauce as everyone knows by our age it's hard......
I've been skinny and fat in my life.My Ex never was to happy about my looks but he ended up with a fat girl but with money.....so who can say...........
I think it's had to find the one but maybee I have only time will tell | |
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Posted: 3/4/2005 7:33:00 AM | | I guess you are as old as you sound. First of all....I'm a a "fat"girl and I amd NOT dirty I have a great job, make great money, and I have an education. So who are you to put all "fat" girls in that category. If you like skinny girls then all the power to you....but you don't have to make someone feel low just to make you look better! | |
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Posted: 3/4/2005 10:09:37 AM | | well I do understand where all this is coming from, but indeed it is true that u have to have some kind of physically attraction to someone, and as i believe someone posted, what one person finds beautiful another may not, i personally am not the most attractive thing out there, and i'm quite aware of that, but on many occasions do ppl say i'm good looking, it's all about an opinion, and i was very physically and mentally attracted to what is now my ex, yet i find many ppl find him quite unattractive. i guess what i'm trying to say is basically yes...alot of ppl will base talkin to one person on the way they look, but what one person finds attractive, and what the next, may be 2 completely different things!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU THO...don't give up, as lame as it sounds, it will happen when it's meant to... | |
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Posted: 3/4/2005 11:14:27 AM | | Hey guys just wanted u all to know that i am going to see and meet this guy who i am hopeful will become my husband in 2 weeks. We live millions and millions of miles away. A different country all together. But we have found out that we want the same things in life. I hope when he sees me in person, he'll fall in love even more. We have fallen in love over the internet and it has been truly beautiful. Please wish me luck. I'll let u know how it goes. | |
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Posted: 3/4/2005 11:17:59 AM | Hang in there, u will. I have been on for a couple of months, been through some dissapointments and now i have finally found the person who can one day be my husband.
So keep on keeping on.... | |
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Posted: 3/4/2005 2:18:03 PM | Don't be discouraged. I'm not a model type either. I'm only 5'4" and 125-130 lbs...Not exactly the model type. But who the h*** wants to be that thin anyway?! I'm a size 7-8 and proud of it!! I've had great luck on this dating site... I've dated 5 men in the past month, after meeting them on here. And they all loved my look and appearance.
But yes, some men (and women too!) are very shallow and that's just not right... Everybody has their own look, style, and appearance. That's what makes everybody special in their own right... If everybody looked like the typical model, it would be pretty boring and dull. And there would be no point in meeting them...Right?? So think about it and don't be discouraged...There's plenty of fish in the sea, as I know it...
Just My Opinion,
Leana
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Posted: 3/4/2005 2:29:19 PM | Hey, a**hole, I know a lot of SKINNY girls who are dirty, no education, and poor!!!!! Also, are on drugs!!! That's why they are so skinny!!!!!! Think about it....
Leana
size 7-8.
P.S. I'm not skinny or fat... For your opinion. I'm average, according to the standards... | |
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Posted: 3/5/2005 2:27:34 AM | | ok so i think we have established that men and women are equal in respect that noone goes for the ugly ones but then try and describe what is ugly cos obviously ugly to some is beauty to others so this debate will be never ending xx | |
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Posted: 3/5/2005 9:09:43 PM | I was thinking about what you are saying ... all of you are saying ... you know how the divorce rate is at like 70% in the U.S.? Well you know only about 12% of all the women in the world look like models, who are also about 25% underweight .... so maybe the reason there are so many divorces is because all these superficial men are marrying these models, and then finding out they aren't as wonderful as they had hoped they would be.
But seriously, there are good men out there. And also women often do the same thing. I used to want to date a cute guy ... but I've learned through the 15 years of dating ... and marriage ... and divorce, that looks last all of about 2 months and then it's all about the personality ... so look a little deeper. It's one good thing about internet, you talk and learn and then you see.
Good luck guys!!! I have stopped looking, finding it ok to be single and I'm living a good life. When it happens, it's gonna be wonderful though ... I got hope!!
Ang | |
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Posted: 3/7/2005 10:27:05 AM | Thank you, Ang... You said it perfectly and it's is SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leana | |
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Posted: 3/7/2005 12:22:22 PM | Well I for one need to be attracted to a woman physically as well as mentally unfortunately its easier to determine whether er not your going to be attracted with looks first,if it doesnt do it for ya why move on to requirement 2!!!
Personally I dont want to have sex in tha bedroom ,with tha lights off and my eyes closed under tha blankets with mittens on my hands so I cant feel tha rolls.......its all about preference,why would you even WANT to be with someone who LOVES yer mind but is repulsed by yer body? | |
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Posted: 3/8/2005 2:24:09 AM | I don't normally put forth my opinion but I have to say that physical attraction does matter to some degree. That spark that brings two people together, when you look into each other's eyes. Everyone has certain likes and dislikes about things that we want in our "perfect soulmate". As long as we can remember that beauty fades over time, but the heart remains the same throughout our lifetime. And I always say that communication is the most important part of a relationship to make it work. But as you can see, I'm still single..lol. Still searching for my "Ideal" Mr. Right. | |
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