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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......      Home login  
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 checkin-u
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 51
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
oh and I forgot to add..eat a lot of chocolate
 nicelegs1st
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 52
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THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 4/28/2006 8:58:26 PM
OMG!!! the exact same thing just happened to me. Every word you said describes my feelings and what just happened to me. I am so glad I went into this forum thing now. I now know that I am not the only one and I do feel a bit better.(not that we both are hurting) but to know we are not alone and there is hope for the future..so thanks chicoloca
 islandgal3
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 53
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THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 4/28/2006 9:50:32 PM
I read somewheres in a book that was given to me by a very dear friend that losing your other half or BF in this case is just the same as mourning someone that U have lost to death.


To my way of thinking it's NOT the same. My husband didn't have a choice (fatal heart attack) ... he didn't leave me to play around on the side ... didn't lie or cheat or need to stay "good friends" with prior sex-play buddies or insensitively worse, would have liked me to be friends with his prior sex-play buddies. An ex b/f DID have a choice - a LOT of them - too many chances. Yes, there is mourning in both, and different mourning "steps" or "levels" one goes through. But betrayal and emotional abuse, unlike death, leave searing scars.

A saying I came upon once is very telling .... "The death of a dream is not like the death of a person. It's far worse. With the death of a person you still get to hold onto your illusions of that person, you are not allowed the luxury of holding onto illusions with the Death of a Dream." When a dream, and/or a fantasy, is stolen, it's gone. Get a new one. Yeah, easier said than done - lol - but try.

Doing something different and making even minor changes in your life (new sport, hobby, hairdo, clothes, furniture, whatever) definitely helps.
 tillame
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 54
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 4/29/2006 12:38:05 AM
I am an ameteur author I throw myself into poetry or working on the novel I've been writing for the last 11 years
 PinkButterfly
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 55
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 4/29/2006 3:09:53 AM
Thanks Sugardol, they may not have been meant for me but your words have definately helped me in a time of need.
 baystreet_girl
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 56
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 4/29/2006 5:00:30 AM
Surround yourself with good friends and drink with them, not alone. Sad music is OK at first, but after you've had a few good cries make yourself some new upbeat playlists, both of music and activities. Find something you're passionate about and go out and do it. I took up squash and now play 3 times per week. I love it. I'm meeting new people and best of all it's great for the legs and the butt! You can do it girl! Best of luck.
 MeowDude
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 57
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/12/2006 10:54:53 PM
let a woman beat me or have sex with strangers
 crazyhair2269
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 58
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THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/16/2006 10:44:55 PM
Live and let live I always say...Were their names Lisa and Kim by chance?Nothing wrong with finding comfort in the arms of a stranger(or two)...Sometimes,it's just what the Doctor orders...Besides,strangers can't tell your secrets,probably a safe choice when starting over.
 xica
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 59
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/16/2006 11:45:38 PM
I think it is best to do whatever you have to do to feel better. In times of war, anything is valid. Just make sure you dont hurt yourself or others. Only you know what is best for you now. Good luck.
 cdn_musicman
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 60
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/16/2006 11:50:19 PM
Me, I go buy a case of beer, collect every sappy CD I can find, go home by myself, lock the door, drink the beer and saturate my brain with the music until I pass out. Hopefully, I can get most of the grieving process out of my system in the one night. Although, I do like the "building the house" idea. That would work, too.

cdn guy.
 dar50
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 61
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 4:29:50 AM
The best thing to do after a break up...is to go to the hardware store and buy a case of duct tape...it is the miracle cure...lol....wrap it around your heart..to hold it together until it can beat normally again...and be sure and put a piece of tape over your mouth, to prevent you from saying something to the person who left you..that you may regret for a very long time..lol
 jester1080
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 62
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 4:46:06 AM
I think its healthy to go through a remorseful period. Listening to sad music, crying at the thought of them, and eating are all natural, human defence mechanisms that help us cope... so indulge while you can.
Supposedly the typical rule of thumb is 1 day for every month you were together.
 lonely femme
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 63
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 6:38:58 AM
After my worst breakup, I did too drink to much and listened to sad music but after i got tired of that I decided to up my education and I lost 28 lbs. I decided to stop being down on myself and started doing things that would make me feel better.
 1lady
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 64
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 6:51:22 AM
Have lots of sex. It always helps me!
 Already_Taken
Joined: 1/6/2005
Msg: 65
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 7:03:14 AM
After a break up I eat way too much ice cream and cry way way too much. I think about the good times, even though obviously they were mostly bad. I usually like being alone.
After my last breakup, I started with my current bf right after.. we were best friends for years and fell in love.. so the last one hurt like hell, but I'm glad he was there.
 hazmatt
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 66
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 7:28:17 AM
Well after i broke up with my girlfriends this seemed to be a reaccuring trend, but drinking came into play....alot of drinking. But after a little while I smartened up and quit drinking again. I also started a new band and I'm happier than ever.
Check us out on tour in your city!!!!
 may26uk
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 67
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 9:18:00 AM
hi there, i just come out of relationship 3 months ago but i'm over it now.girl my advice to you is think positive and meet new peoples and avoid to go the place were u guys used to hang around.girl is not the end of the world......enjoy your life while you still have it....i believe you will be happy again and then you will look back at it and smile........it life u just need to move on that all u need to do.....take care
 Black_Bird
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 68
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 9:40:20 AM
Extensive workout including weight lifting...And i came back to painting that i deserted for 3 years...it worked out for me...Plus avoid doing whatever you used to do with your ex, it only reminds you of that person and that relationship...
 UpForFun?
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 69
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 11:42:35 AM
Hey...I've been married for 10 years, and separated about 7 months ago.
It was hard at the beginning, for sure, because we shared custody of my son, 5, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced...not hearing my son's foot steps running down the hallway when I'd get out of the car, only to open the door and hear him say "maman, je t'aime"...
It was not the idea of a failed marriage, it was the idea of letting my son down...that's what killed me inside...
So, things to do...concentrate on staying positive, for the sake of your children...to me, the idea of having another "woman" raising my child, while I'm going "nuts", it was enough to scare me!! Everytime I had a hard day, or couldn't fall asleep at night because I'd choke on my own tears, I'd think of that....Get enough sleep, eat well, take your vitamins.
I know people here are supportive, and say that time heals....and yes, it does. But you want something that works for you RIGHT AWAY....So while the wine is fine, don't go down that road...think of your children! The week I didn't have my son, I got myself a little part time job, as a waitress, just to be around people. ANd the week I had him, i was on cloud 9.
So, hang in there, don't think long term...think one day at the time...think of someone else raising your children instead of you....Can you picture that? If the answer is no, than just do it...take care of yourself...

Oh, and one more thing...people will be quick to tell you to "get over one by getting under one"....no, unless you are ready. Give yourself time...Go from mad at your ex, to forgiving him, than back to mad....it's normal. No person in this world can heal a broken heart...unless u are ready for that... I guess (not that I've done it), but one night stands can get rid of the "sexual urges"....but will never rid you of a broken heart....

Take care, and I hope I was able to give you some advise, I was there 6 months ago!!!
 icamoose
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 70
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 11:49:21 AM
in no particular order...i started cycling...shaved my head...and got my nipple pierced
 killerdogsmooch
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 71
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 11:54:39 AM
Start getting your pride back. Remember who you are compared to them. Then prove it. Go to the gym. Build your business. Buy a bigger house. Buy that cool car you always wanted. You must prove with your pride who you are.
 Showantel
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 72
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 12:02:07 PM
I did the same - but I think spending time with yoursflf to work out who you are now is a good thing to do, although painful and unforgiving at times it can be, if you keep it honest to yourself, that's not a bad thing!! :-) Acceptance and being sure can be the hardest.......
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 73
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 12:03:15 PM
You designed a built a house? Who is your ex that after a divorce you have that kind of money? Bill Gates?
 come2ali
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 74
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 12:25:14 PM
sign up to a couple of dating websites. or is that stating the obvious for us?
 Peachy1977
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 75
THE BEST THING TO DO AFTER A BREAK UP IS......
Posted: 5/17/2006 12:36:50 PM
Watch Swingers and High Fidelity with beer and pizza.
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