| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/13/2006 1:47:33 PM | | I have found that I defintely close the book on the relationship but not necessarily the sex. He gets reduced to a bed buddy at least until I have a reason to close the book on that too. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/13/2006 2:51:52 PM | | I think it depends on how the book ended.. If an ending for the present and not negative, for reasons beyond your control? Then I could see turning the pages again if worth rereading. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/13/2006 7:59:09 PM | | A closer and sometimes a turner..sometimes a bad book just needs to be tossed out the window..a cheap trashy paperback??(good for holding up a crooked table or tossing in the recycle bin) but a hardbound classic?? I love the classics. Those you admire and lay out because you will always want to read them. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/13/2006 11:07:25 PM | Mike
For a proper rundown on how ex husband and boyfriends approach thing get onto the site DIDs Dads in Distress.
Women do try to shut the book. Including shutting the kids away from teh father who loves them.
Gender reverse it Mike. Give the kids to the father and have him shut the mothe out of their lives. And no loving mother could ever just "shut the book" and walk away from that one either. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/13/2006 11:29:44 PM | I know as a woman I do close the book.....I reopened one a few times that I should have burned but whatever ya live ya learn ya buy Luvs(literally).
Why men do it?...not real sure but I had an ex who thought he could call me every name in the book and then "start up back where we left off"......to which I replied "where was that...you calling me a sl*t or a who*e".
I do think that every relationship is suppose to teach ya something and you take it with you when you go on.....so why if something wasn't right the first time around, would someone want to revisit that? | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 12:11:05 AM | | I guess I should have read what I was posting to more clearly. I am a closer but once I had a classic sometimes I find my mind drifts back to those times, not my body. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 12:19:24 AM | | sparticuss..I shut the book on a person(not the classic) but one who could not be a parent. One who should not be a parent. I asked him to help shut the book and he did..for that I am grateful.Least selfish thing he ever did..not every woman or man is meant to be a parent..sometimes it takes a bigger person to acknowledge that. He was big for a moment a time I will never forget. My ex=h did that for me..as repayment for his actions, marrying under false pretenses and he got financial reward too. So I'm sure that helped some with his lack of selfishness. Every case is different. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 38 | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:41:42 AM | I read the analogy .. .. .. and if I'm going by "MY" past experiences.. .. I'm a book. . . full of about 4400 pages.. .. many chapters start and end the same.. .. I think it's true that once you read a book to the end.. .. and put the book back on the shelf.....no matter how many times you take the book back off the shelf and read it.. .. .. the ending is still the same !
~Pour | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:00:32 AM | | Actually the point is that a man will be more likely to attempt to get back together for a casual sexual evening. This isn't 100% all the time (there are some women who will turn pages) but I believe the propensity to go back and forth is more a masculine than feminine trait. In many cases the man will be flipping back a page but will try to convince her that he's reopening the book. Thus, her motivations may be the rekindling of romance when it's just a booty call to him. Same thing happens but very different reasons/motivations. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:05:39 AM | And again ...as I stated....if the book has been read to the end no matter how many times you read it again....the ending is still the same.. .. are you getting the correlation to what you used as your analogy ???
~Pour | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:27:49 AM | Hi Pours,
Yes, I definitely see your point, however, unlike bound paper aren't lives that are ongoing all about rewriting chapters? It's almost like the book is a part of a virtual reality thing and you are attempting to rewrite the ending. A bound and closed book cannot be rewritten. Life and relationships are all about rewriting. In some cases (and they are rare) people can change and you can take a somber ending and turn it into a happy one. Bottom line is never say never because life is static not stagnant. Have a great day and thanks for what you bring to the discussion!
Mike | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:12:32 PM | I know this is true for me. It takes me a bit to actually close the book, and I'll be stubborn to the very end, but once I make that decision there is no turning back....I've even tried to force myself to attempt to work on a relationship with someone who was a page turner, after I had closed the book, and I was miserable. I know that if he were the last man on earth and I was the only girl he wanted (which I know will never happen) I would not be with him.
He has changed and is a great guy, but I will never go back to him. Once I shut off my emotions to someone, that's it, they don't get turned back on. Probably because I stick it out until I've lost almost every piece of my dignity...lol. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:49:42 PM | I was about to disagree with you until I caught the gist. Aside from the gross generalizations, yeah, I think it's *generally* true that when a woman defines a relationship as non-sexual, it stays that way. HOWEVER, I have always known women to carry the relationship around *emotionally* forever, even if they never go back to the sex, even if they hate him, well, especially if they hate him. I've always known every male friend to talk about how he may go back to bang her, especially if they hate her (but not if she disgusts them), but they've dropped the emotion once and for all, even if they hang onto those fond sexual memories forever.
In sexual fantasies, for instance, women will *generally* create a relationship scenario, even in dreams, before they get to the sex. Men will have sexual fantasies thathave no relationship at all, sometimes not even a defined whole woman, like a dream with just certain parts of her and no clear image of her face.
In terms of my exes, I think being able to turn them down absolutley positively forever had more to do with getting *much* better sex from someone else, and I'd rather do without than have anything less, and since I know they can *only* give me less...
Gini | |
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smd83
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Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 46 | |
| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 2/15/2008 7:30:36 PM | Yes Very true...
hmm.. I've closed many books... some I read to the end... some never got past first 2-3 chapters... there is a reason.... why keep reading the book if i lost interest.. ??? or pick it up and start all over thinking hmm perhaps following chapters will stimulate me.....
Nope...
New books are always more exciting... cause you never know how far you'll actually read this one..
As for men... (some friends) I did find that they say well Im bored... so why not pick it up and read the chapter that I like at least... LOL...
I don't turn pages cause I don't like to go in circles... knowing the outcome is the same... disatisfying read...
New book new begining.. no preconceived notions, judgements, history...
Nice and fresh... gotta love it. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 2/15/2008 11:34:53 PM | | I tried being a page turner.....but I am to the end a book closer. I can't go back and forth. The emotions that I have are to fragile for that. When I tried it... I nearly lost my mind, literally. It took a few years to be honest to get back on track. He tried to keep contact, but I finally had to tell him goodbye for good. It wasn't easy.... I kept flipping back the pages, but the ending was always the same. I got hurt and he didn't see what it was doing. That was a hard book to close. Sometimes just because you want it doesn't mean it's good for you. It can be an addiction. I couldn't cut myself loose. Those pages seemed to just repeat and go nowhere, and when I tried to close the book, I stopped communicating for long periods of time, but we always seemed to go back to the same page. I finally had to burn that book. It was the only way. Now I am ready for a new book....... | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 2/16/2008 8:29:37 AM | I agree with the OP... at least that is the way it is for me. If I'm done.. I'm done.. forever. Doesn't mean I can't be a friend, but I'm never going to be romantic again with that person. I think because in a relationship I do everything I am willing/capable to do to make it work... and I will continue to try until I can see no hope at all. At that point of no hope.. I decide to close that book and move on.
HOWEVER... I don't know how many times an ex has tried to get back with me... it stuns me frankly because the relationship is over.. and I've usually made it quite clear to them that this is the case when I have left.
I never looked at it this particular way before... but it's very insightful. | |
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:16:14 PM | Totally depends on the topic of the books ;)
Some you can re-read if you're too lazy to go to the bookstore and others you just donate to the library and forget about because he was a 'bad read'
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| True or False, Men turn pages. Women close books.
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:50:50 PM | When I am really really done, and that is normally when they've packed and have ridden off into the sunset, or visa versa, that's it. There will never again be anything else between us but friendship. Once I actually close the book, I have no desire to revisit that book in any kind of a remotely sexual way; in fact, normally just the thought of doing so actually turns my stomach.
I believe you are very accurate about men, though. I think most men are quite capable of compartmentalizing sex and love. Most men do not love their exes at all anymore, but they sure don't mind a purely physical jaunt down memory lane with any of them. | |
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If I was "reduced" to that I wouldn't mind having the book closed on my relationship! 
