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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???      Home login  
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 markie79
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 76
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
k not all men "don't take the first step"...I'm glad to say I did and have myself the greatest fishy. ...if you want something bad enough, guy or girl, go for it....who cares who takes "the first step".....
 dave182
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 77
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 1:43:48 AM
Again the three rules of Buffy the Vampire Slayer apply here:

1. See.
2. Want.
3. Take.

Feelings get hurt, so what? Such is life. Happiness is only achieved from within.
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 3:06:00 AM
Well classy by creating a profile we have taken the first step. What i see when i read yours is baby steps. You are to focused on the picture witch probably means you get alot of comments about it in your e-mails. You don't give a guy alot to go on. How can we see our selfs in your world if you don't open up.
As far as no picture on a profile it is my experiance to leave them alone because either they are hideing some thing or they want to make first contact wich i can respect.
 P.A.T.C.H.
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 79
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:00:12 AM
Since i've joined this site what i've noticed is that in many cases it's the men who are actually taking more of the first steps.

(MIGHT GET SLAMMED FOR THIS ONE) BUT i've noticed some women will send out a few messages, get read/deleted then they start a thread b*tching and complaining that men are @ssholes and BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Guess what ladies... do you actually know how many messages men send out that get read/deleted??? If they do it and complain we tell them to suck it up but if we get a read/delete then it's the end of the world....how fair is that??

Men are JUST as afraid of rejection as us ladies are but as far as i'm concerned they suck it up a lot better than we do and they keep on truckin. WOMEN are just as bad for constantly looking for something better to come along... if we don't exactly like what we see in their pictures or what's written in their profiles we don't respond....I can totally see how frustrating that is for many men. But we are sooooooo quick to judge men for "not taking the time to get to know us" or "only going for looks" so ladies... what does that make us the Pot or the Kettle?

Men DO make the effort and the first move all the time it's the women who arn't responding. Which of course is their right.. if they arn't interested then why would they respond? But to ask WHY men never make the first move... well that's just silly.

BOTH MEN AND WOMEN should be making the first moves... if they see someone they are interested in then give them a shout.. if ya get read/deleted guess what, you arn't alone and the only one. Everyone is afraid of rejection but if you don't take the chance then you miss out on some really great things. We all have preferences which we are very much so entitled too... just because you might not turn one persons crank doesn't mean you wont turn anyones crank.

If men OR women arn't messaging you... take a look at your profile!! There could be a very obvious reason why for this. Some will be attracted to you and some wont be... that's just the way it is. Nothing is stopping you from messaging people yourself.
 docdirt
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 80
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:01:49 AM
must be just me cause i dont get any emails from women ive tried a detailed profile ive tried just the basics profile ive pretty well tried everything it seems women dont want sincere hard working men any more as for me sending ive tried that too surprise surprise no one responds it pretty well takes the anticipation right out of it that someone nice would actually want to spend time with me so as far as im concerned fish dont work romance is dead back to hibernating behind my job and home again
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 81
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:13:52 AM
Oh man,

A woman complaining that men don't take the first step? Yer joking right? Maybe men aren't emailing YOU and making the first move, but from my own experience and in talking with guys and girls on here, most men do take the first step and contact a woman. We get deleted, red deleted, unread deleted so many times it makes us wonder if the people we are emailing are actually REAL ...

So either start changing your profile to make it more appealing to those you are trying to attract, or start emailing guys you are interested in first. They may find it to be a breath of fresh air that a woman took the initiative. Otherwise, stop crying about it. If you continue to do the same things over and over again, you are bound to repeat the same results, over and over again.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 82
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:21:08 AM
Women might want to consider that if they put testimonials on other women's BF's profiles and have been asked to remove them and lie and say they will, that they may not be the kind of honest woman that men are looking for!! Then they also say they are leaving the site and never do, that again there is nothing to trust there!!! If men aren't mailing you they might have seen inappropriate behaviour that is simply not attractive!!!! Just a thought!!!!
 RDF6244
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 83
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:16:39 PM
okat folks here is my take on this whole situation.it really doesn't matter who takes the first step or contact.we are all here to have fun and enjoy the site regardless of who takes the initiative.and if i hear anymore whining from you candy-asses,i am going to give you all some whoop -ass.that's the bottom line cuz RDF says so!by the way it's good to be back,peeps!
 Darkash
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 84
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:38:10 PM
Well for me i have mailed lots of women but have had very very few replies ,but hey thats life and i am a big boy ,i can take it , ,if someone is not interested they won't reply ,but i wish they would just reply and say that they are not interested at least that is being honest as most say in there profiles ,kinda hypocritical if you ask me .
 Soul_Mates
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 85
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 2:53:41 PM
I think that a lot of women expect men to make ALL the overtures and that's not right or fair.

Hmmmn... looking at my contacts and I've made first contact with 73 men (though I do often mail ppl re: their profiles or things I've read in the forums even if I'm not interested in them) and I've had 117 males make first contact with me.

And I haven't made any new contacts in over a month.

And I've been on the site for just over a year *sigh*
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 86
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 4:47:21 PM
To quote a famous line from a famous movie from a slightly non-famous actor yet a famous character in said famous movie....

"What? Right here, right now? What if she says no...I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection!"
 Grant P
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 87
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 4:48:14 PM
Hey Classy

One i have mail many with no respones. I have many pics of what i am lke. As for making the first move, i was brought up to respect and women space and who she is. It takes me a long time to open to someone new at first. I like to be able to feel and sense thier whole being and who they are. Taking time to know each other is a big thing on my list, before jumping into anything.

i am not but i work in a field that mostly women work in, so i just tend to keep a respectful boundary with all. Making it hard to move beyond friendship with women.

grant
 dave182
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 88
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:30:26 PM
Hey jet...was that Back to the Future?
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 89
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 5:57:41 PM
None other then George McFly himself. It's funny that he says it like that, how many of us guys have actually thought that question in our minds when approaching a woman? That and sweating buckets as we try to look cool when asking or trying to ask her out. Maybe we look just as dorky when getting turned down and moving off like he does. Heh!
 JeepRennie
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 90
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:24:11 PM
Really, to be honest and straight-forward about it...I've taken lots of first steps towards the people I want to meet and just get ignored, or told to lower my standards. After a while, you just get chosier about the steps you try to take, or don't bother at all.
 biggydeeks
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 91
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:25:13 PM
i always take the 1st step, theres only 1 time where a girl ever wrapped her legs around me without saying a word, i kinda like it
 Darkash
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 92
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:38:38 AM
I think if people would start putting in there profiles what they are trully looking for rather than a load of garbage they may get more e-mails .you read a profile that says i love a man with a great sense of humour ,honest loyal etc ,so you e-mail them with your best humour and tell them a little about yourself and how you meet there criteria and bang deleted not even a no ty just deleted ,so if you trully want to talk with someone that may share your qualities and interests be honest with yourself and quit wasting our time ,have a bit of class and at least reply with a not interested or something ,it is not that hard to do people . You know what i think i am going to recontact all 2 of my contacts and tell them just what i think ,hehehehehe yes thats it uh huh .I should get a reply from one or de utter uh huh.
 habsy
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 93
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:43:39 AM
Maybe like myself alots guys are very shy and find it very hard to make the first move. I was very lucky to have seen a persons profile on here that i had seen somewhere other than POF.Even knowing this it took me weeks to get the guts to even ask her out for a coffee. When i was asking her out for the first time i was a stuttering fool. LOL. I finally asked her out to do something that we both enjoyed (bowling). I got lucky and have been seeing for a few months now. It's the happest I've been in a very long time.
 Danteslnferno
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 94
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:51:22 AM
Way to go Habsy. I guess there is a lesson to be learned. If you don't try you will never know right? So for any women who are sitting waiting for that guy they like to make the first move, why wait? It's a new millenium. Doesn't mean you have to jump a guys bones but you can send him an email to say hi. Nothing wrong with that, then let him make the move to ask you out.

Something to remember about this medium. Unlike face to face encounters when meeting new people, this medium does not allow for the ability to send subtle signals to a guy that you are interested. You can't flick your hair, or look at a guy and smile then look away, or straighten your posture as the cute guy you spot walks by ... so send him an online subtle hint by saying a simple 'hello, how are you? I saw your profile and just wanted to let you know I thought some of what you wrote was pretty cool.'
 JeepRennie
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 95
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:53:06 AM
Rejection for being completely honest and who you really are is just tiresome.
 Xtrasensory
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 96
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 11:44:50 AM
When I first joined POF, I used to send mail all the time, and after a year, still no replies to any that I sent.

So if something ain't working, change it, so I stopped sending mail period. I figured the women I was mailing can't tell a good thing when it's right in front of them, so the ones who can tell will have to contact me, I'm noit one for wasting my time so to speak, or the time of others.

That's my first step deduction.
 § Crooked Halo §
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 97
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 1:52:51 PM
Right on KMC!
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
~Albert Einstein


I rarely send emails to new people any more, because I refuse to cut-and-paste and I'm tired of wasting my creative energy on the trash bin. After several dozen beautifully wrought letters of introduction get tossed, with no how-do-you-do whatsoever, I stick to the forums and the people I've already met. Fortunately, I have had the pleasure of getting to know someone recently who values substance over superficiality, and honestly enjoys intelligence and a sense of humour. Which does restore my faith somewhat in truthful profiles.

So why don’t men take the first step?
1) we’re not insane (all the time)
2) ask your female counterparts why they don’t have the class to reply to a classy message. I’m sure they wouldn’t turn around and say “fück off” to someone talking to them in a live setting, so why is it OK online?
 JeepRennie
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 98
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:00:27 PM

I’m sure they wouldn’t turn around and say “fück off” to someone talking to them in a live setting, so why is it OK online?
I totally agree with you about the futility of trying again and again and simply being ignored.
People are more ignorant online than in person because online they don't have to look you in the eye. Anonymity and distance makes even the worst coward brave.
 Sparklin
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 99
WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:29:54 PM
I'm very outspoken (I know it's shocking to most lol) and if I read something ~ good or bad ~ on a profile or in the threads - I'll email the guy. I've made tons of friends that way ~ not necessarily interested in a love connection, but was interested in something he had to say, his personality or some comment he made. I always reply to my emails, regardless of who they are from ~
 MacGregrrrr
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 100
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WHY DON'T MEN TAKE THE FIRST STEP ANYMORE???
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:35:47 PM
Yikes! Heck must be freezing over ...
I'm actually in agreement with aalhazzred ... (be afraid ... be very afraid ...)

The men in your age bracket are tired of rejection. ...

To which I'll add: ... and tired of being abused/used/hurt.
Thus, it's unsurprising that some additional coaxing out of the shell may be required. $0.02
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