| raped or not ?
Posted: 4/29/2006 2:13:03 AM | | You did not mess up anything, the child molester did. As far as I can see you are the only one taking the steps to help this girl. You did what had to be done and anyone who would look down on you for trying to put a rapist behind bars must really have a messed up mind. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 4/29/2006 4:30:22 AM | | U did the right thing........ no one is responsable for thier actions but themselves. The mother chose not to tell the husband, which I dont know why that would be a reason for divorce to begin with, whether the child consented or not she was raped. God bless ya while u go threw this with this child, and dont leave her, stay by her side. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 4/29/2006 11:58:09 AM | | im not gonna leave her she feels like shes alone because no one cared enough to get involved i could care less what people think of me i mean the people here accusing me of stuff i didnt do anything but try to help her whether she said yes or not thats not the issue the issue is shes 12 hes 24 and thanks for pointing that out to me because if i didnt step in he could prey on someone elses little girl hes sick and he has to pay for whaat he did like i told my sis i have 3 boys if they had done something like that i would be the first to step in to get them help bottom line its not right and i thank you for your support its a shame complete strangers will support me and my own sister wont again i thank you | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:24:54 PM | You have absolutely done the right thing. Congratulations.
Unfortunately doing the right thing is not always easy.
I'm so sorry that your sister, her mother and her mother's husband are complete idiots. It's truly sad that the important people in her life care so little about this girl. Thank goodness she has you to stand up for her.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
1. Tell your family that since he was arrested, the police obviously felt as though there was enough evidence to believe that a crime had been committed. They can disagree with the law all they want, but it's up to the police now.
2. You cannot be responsible for anyone's divorce! Her 12 year old daughter was raped by a 24 year old who gave her alcohol and you're to blame for telling somone. This is absolutely insane! I hope they arrest her mother as well.
3. You can assist the police in their investigation. Find out the name of the officer who is in charge of the investigation and ask to speak to him/her. Explain to the officer that the girl's mother and other members of your family feel that she consented and therefore a rape did not take place. Explain to the officer that she needs some type of rape counselling or a referral to victim services.
4. As for the name of the prosecutor who will be handling the case. They may not know yet but ask for the name of the district attorney, their phone number and address. This way if you are concerned about the way the investigation is being handled you have someone who can listen to your concerns.
5. Remember that the rape of a 12 year old by a 24 year old who gave her alcohol is something that NO prosecutor in their right mind should allow to fall through the cracks.
6. Given the development of the law on sexual assault, the police department, as well as the prosecutor's office may have a policy on how these cases get dealt with. If they decide to drop the case without an explination feel free to question this response. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:36:57 PM | Here is the contact information for a sexual assault crisis centre. in yoru area. I found it on the internet. You should give her the number but you may also consider calling them yourself.
Cynthiana Office:
PO Box 563
Cynthiana, KY 41031
Business phone: (859) 234-1011
Fax: (859) 235-9306
Crisis line: (800) 656-HOPE | |
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| get help
Posted: 5/2/2006 4:51:25 AM | | Bottom line with the FACTS of this incident you are looking at a sexual battery (rape) of a minor 12 or younger by an adult . It is a capital felony.. sentence is life in prison. Consent by the victim does not matter, how she acts or dresses does not matter , if she lies about her age ... does not matter. See the common theme, when an adult has sex with a child its problems if the child is 12 or younger its big problems. Most normal people can tell if someone is 12 or younger (i won't go into detail) . PS at the very least get the girl some help or she will be a screwed up kid then adult. Good luck Tony | |
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| get help
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:37:45 PM | | ok heres whats happened the girl is in therapy now and doing well the guy is facing 10 to 15 years in prison he was charged with 3rd degree rape rape witch is statutory rape and contribuiting to a minor with feliciuos intent hes out on bond can you beleive that and hes been riding around by where the girl hangs out fortuanatly she hangs out by where i live we live in a park residance so she can easily come to me we are currently trying to get a order of protection against him well they have a thing saying he cant harm her but not one saying to stay away from her but other than that all is going well with the child i just thought everyone would like to know what was going on and thanks again for your support | |
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| get help
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:58:11 PM | That's GREAT... I'm so glad to hear that she is in therapy.
The poor girl has a LOT to over come!
Look... you did something that was VERY hard...... YOU ARE NOT repsonsible for the break up of a marraige if that does infact happen. Her mother is an alcoholic... ummmm where did the 12 year old get the alcohol????? Hmmm I wonder! Their issues are their own.. the fact she didn't tell her husband that her daugther was raped is really her issue!
It's A LOT easier for people to blame others then to have to look at themselves in the mirror!
Hmmm U can't get a restaining order against him so he has to stay 100 yards away?
Don't listen to ppl telling you that you fuxed up a bunch of peoples lives... think of it as you may have saved one... something has been really wrong in this girls live for a REALLy long time. She's missing something in her life and that is why she has become sexually active so early..... I hope that therapy helps her! ;-)
Be proud of yourself Jennifer........ | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 12:02:36 AM | a twelve year old is not capable of adult consent, regardless of what her behavior might be like.
It WAS rape.
If I had my choice, sex with a 12 year old would qualify as pedophilia world wide  | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 12:22:33 AM | an adult having sex with a child is ALWAYS RAPE!!!!! | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 12:37:35 AM | This was a long read that got my blood boiling at some points, but I'm so happy to hear the scumbag was arrested! Kudos to you for not dropping this! 
Also glad to hear she's attending therapy. Sending good thoughts your way that she can get some problems sorted through, and enjoy being a child again.
I would also suggest (but I'm sure her therapist will anyhow), that she get tested for any STI's, AIDS and pregnancy.
On another note, legal consent here in New Brunswick, Canada is 14. There was an arrest just several months ago. A fourteen year old girl had met up with a 34 year old guy whom she had been chatting with for awhile online. He drove all the way from Pensylvannia (sp?). Apparently, one of her friends spotted her getting into his car before classes began in the a.m. and told a teacher. They busted them in a motel room; unfortunatly, the act had already been commited. :(
Anyhow, the girl pressed and pressed that she gave consent, and no charges were laid. He was ordered to drive back immediatly. Not sure what was to happen, if anything, when he got back home though. I think the police there were notified as well. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 1:33:38 AM | It does'nt matter if it's rape or not ,it is against the LAW and wrong for anyone 18 (adult age)or older to have SEX with a 12yr old whiich is an adolescent - minor . This person definitely has a serious problem and should be reported to the police. This is probably not this guys first time either and if that be the case , there is a serial child molester that has never been caught living among children in some neighborhood.
Just stop and think what if he does it again , but this time kills his victim because she put up a fight ? Now you're not only faced with I should have gone to the police , you're also gonna be saying had I gone to the police this little girl would still be alive !!!
Go to the police and have this child molester arrested so when he gets to prison , he get what he really deserves from the other inmates . I guarantee you he will see how it feels to be raped ! | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 8:17:02 AM | | hmm funny thong this story reminds me of an ex who had a 12 yr old daughter and yrs after we had been apart the daughter told me a similiar story, bout the guy that lived downstairs from us who was the moms friend , apparently her mom had told her it was ok for him to get head from her daughter as long as she got paid for it, this was yrs after wed brioken up i still talk to the daughter tho and i told her she was stupid in not telling me way back when it was happening, but i guess maybe she saved me some jail time as well. freaky what ya jear about yrs after the situation, i wouldnt have called the cops tho thats for sure we woulda had a weener roast in the back yard | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 9:00:23 AM | | Not only is this perv a rapest.....he's a fu**ing child molester that needs hung out to dry. I have NO compassion for people like him who prey on young children. I don't care if the girl was naked sitting on him....HE is an adult, HE should know better. SHE is a child.....no matter how she hangs on men. I say fry the mo fo. And for anyone who knows, and is able to help, yet refuses to do so....they are just as bad as him. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 9:24:16 AM | I'm glad to hear both that he's been arrested and that the girl is in counciling. I certainly hope (presuming of course that he did do it) that he's convicted and dies in jail.
I also hope he and his cell-mate become "close". | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 9:26:03 AM | | There's no question about it....go to the police and press charges. BUT....why is the girl falling all over boys and enthralled with their sex? There's something wrong. She's learning the wrong things and won't be happy until this is confronted and corrected. Who's she learning this from? How would you feel when she gets a reputation from the boys and can't shake it? She won't be seen as a person but a sex maniac. How will she feel? She won't even know who she is except a body to take pleasure from. Is this what you want? | |
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| get help
Posted: 5/23/2006 9:30:47 AM | | HOLD ON!!!! What do you mean only SHE is in therapy!!! Anyone who taught her that free and illegitimate sex is okay then turn their heads from their accountability should be in therapy with her. This isn't just a question of rape and imprisonment now. This is an issue of family perversion. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 9:31:57 AM | | Definately rape...at that age she has no idea what it is all about. And why is a 24 yr old hanging out or doing anything with a kid that age?????????? That is just plain wrong. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 12:42:07 PM | Absolutely it's rape. She's 12, I'm fairly certain, no matter how wise beyond her years she may be, that she doesn't quite know what she wants.
I'm not a violent person by any stretch but If this was MY sister or neice, I'd be reaching for a ski mask and a baseball bat. That is, if my brother didn't already beat me to it.
Some pedophiles do what they do as a result of a chemical imbalance or a social/mental disorder. Theres a place for people like that, its the hospital, or a facility where they can get help. However, it sounds like this guy knew EXACTLY what he was doing, and got her drunk/high so he could take advantage of her.
Go after him with everything you've got, in my opinion. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 5/23/2006 4:28:36 PM | | The girl is a child / the guy should have known better ... its a criminal act....charges should be laid, and if the girl is hanging off guys all the time and is a tease ... then she needs help, she didn't need a sexual encounter. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:53:16 PM | There are plenty of 16 year olds , who are quite experienced sexually, who will consent to sex with a 24 year old and then go claiming stat rape when mum finds out.
Mostly cause at family level at at least, theres no middle gound, they are treated as sluts if they do consent and are in real trouble. If they SAY they didn't consent (regardless of if thats false or true) they are treated asn victims and recive sympathy and support.
Having said all that we are not talking about a 16 year old here. We are talking about a 12 year old and several claims
- that she was a virgin
- that the man got her drunk or stoned.
- that, although she never refuesed sex she never asked for it either.
Even in the case of an adult woman this is a case for rape charges.
The only case like this, which I've heard of being thrown out of court was a 14 year old girl who straddled a 22 year old guy who was passed out in the bedroom at a party. Despite his being asleep she managed to coax an erection out of him for long enough to have sex.
When found out by her mum she hollered rape. The judge threw THAT one out.
I've also known of a few, sexually experienced, 16 and 17 year old girls seducing 24 year old virgins. They tend to get thrown out too. | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 6/10/2006 6:53:26 AM | I would never dispute the law.. but my opinion is that if she spread her legs and didn't say no.. she wasn't raped.
Falainie you are a Idoit! How can you say that? She's still a baby (12) yrs old. Wow! The girls brains nowadays.....If everyone thinks like you, were'r in trouble.  | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 6/10/2006 7:04:53 AM | Snatcheater.... ur sick!
You think that a 12 year old is mentally in the right place to have sex with someone that is so much older? She is an obviously a very mixed up child......
If every man thought like you WE would be in trouble! Felainie is NOT an idiot!
She may not be a baby but 12 is not legal and it is not right........ She's not even in full on puberty which is just confusing as hell for teenagers! | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 6/10/2006 7:53:48 AM | coastergirl I think the first line on that post was a quote. I had to read it twice to see it that way.
here read it now
I would never dispute the law.. but my opinion is that if she spread her legs and didn't say no.. she wasn't raped.
Falainie you are a Idoit! How can you say that? She's still a baby (12) yrs old. Wow! The girls brains nowadays.....If everyone thinks like you, were'r in trouble.
heads up to snacheater: to quote [ q u o t e ]cut and paste quote [ / q u o t e ] with out spaces | |
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| raped or not ?
Posted: 6/10/2006 10:09:50 AM | OP
I commend you on helping a child when everyone else was simply turning their backs on her.
First off this guy is a preditor. He knew what he was doing. That is the reason why he gave them alcohol and pot. People like that plan and calculate their actions. He will continue with other victems if he is not stopped.
You told us she self-mutilates by cutting herself..That is a very common sign of a girl that has been sexually abused. It is a coping mechanism.
From the information you have given and her family situation and her behaviour, I would venture to guess that she may have been abused before.
She does need therapy. More than that she needs to know that someone cares about her and loves her.
You did the right thing. To H*LL with the ignorant people around you.
You made a difference. | |
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