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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/11/2011 7:02:06 AM | tedjmill
i face the same issue.
Comes down to 2 things.
1) find a girl that dosent care shes teller. I did for about 4 years, she was 5'5 and didnt care i was 5'3
2)find a girl who is shorter. There is lots of short girls around :) | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/11/2011 9:48:49 AM | | There is no "ideal height", it's whatever two people find acceptable. Now I do read a lot of womens profiles that say they want a man who is 5'10 or taller, like 5'10 is somehow the magic number. I'm 5'10 and I do find shorter women more attractive, maybe it's human nature? | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/11/2011 11:49:07 AM | There is no "ideal height", it's whatever two people find acceptable. Now I do read a lot of womens profiles that say they want a man who is 5'10 or taller, like 5'10 is somehow the magic number. I'm 5'10 and I do find shorter women more attractive, maybe it's human nature?
5'8" and 5'10" are common limiters, but 6'-6'3" could be described as the 'holy grail' of height ranges from what I've seen on those women's profiles that bother to specify. 
True though, this may be the most widely popular range, but it's certainly not an absolute preference amongst all women. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/11/2011 2:20:49 PM | I'm 6ft .. and female..i think it would be odd to date a smaller man, and i cant imagine, a smaller man would like to date a female that is alot taller than her? Do men like tall girls?.. i suppose, again, its down to opinion.. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/11/2011 3:42:52 PM | I'm only 5'6" tall, but I don't consider myself to be a 'small' man because I'm well built and have more overall physical mass in the 3 dimensions than your average guy (even if I'm lacking in one of those dimensions, 2 out of 3 aint bad!).
I date women of all shapes and sizes and I have no preconceptions about any of them, which is, I suppose, why I have trouble comprehending how so many others (male and female) seem so bound by them.
It's funny, people (male and female) I know in real life tell me they don't actually notice my height due to my overall physical presence, but I guess it's more glaring when presented as an isolated numerical statistic on a flat profile.
What I've learned from online dating is to simply respect the preconceptions and preferences of others and adopt a 'live and let live' attitude. People adopt a more 'black and white' mentality when selecting dates online, and that's just the nature of the online beast I suppose. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 9:07:23 AM | The key here is "preference" vs. "requirement".
If you have a preference for someone taller, it communicates that all other available options being equal, you'll go with taller. It also indicates that if presented with someone who isn't taller than you, you aren't going to immediately reject them out of hand because they don't meet your arbitrarily-chosen height preference.
If you have a requirement for someone taller, this is what I call a "gateway factor": you'll completely ignore any and all other traits they have and automatically put them in the "not an option" bin if they don't meet your height requirement.
Most men I know, regardless of their own height (or lack thereof), don't have height issues with women they date or want to date.
The issue arises when you have women who either intentionally delude themselves (or others) or just don't know how to communicate, and call it a "preference" when it's actually a requirement. When called out on their heightism, they squawk "But it's just my preference!", showing a fundamental lack of understanding of basic English and the differences between words.
The real "gems" are the ones who insist a man has to have so many inches on them while they're wearing heels, as though their personal fashion choices should have any bearing on another individual's worthiness to date them.
Shallow wenches.
This isn't about "feeling protected", as some women like to say. You should feel protected because you can either protect yourself, or because you're aware of your partner's capability to protect you. One also questions why you need to "feel protected". Where are you going with your free time that you worry about your safety? If you hold this perspective, you're shallow and worthless.
This isn't about "feeling feminine", as some women like to say. You should feel feminine because you're feminine, i.e., you have the chromosome combination that made you a female at birth, or because you had elective/corrective surgery and are now a female biologically. If you insist a man has to be taller than you to make you feel feminine, you're shallow and worthless, unworthy of the very air you breathe.
Many women won't be with a man who isn't taller than her because she's concerned about how she'll look to others. Get some self confidence. Be proud of who you are without the input of others, and scorn those whose perspective of you doesn't match the one you have of yourself. To project that onto a man interested (for some bizarre reason) in dating you only shows your own lack of actual worth: you're a coward, and a lemming to boot. Worthless.
Accept it, ladies: there is no defensible reason for using height as a gateway factor when it comes to dating. Your shoes don't matter, your sense of protection doesn't matter, how feminine you "feel" doesn't matter, only reality matters: you're shallow and vain, and hoping to God someone doesn't call you out on your bullshit and make you feel like the tiny, insignificant person you actually are when you refuse someone because of a condition that has nothing to do with who they are, how well they'd treat you in a relationship, how dedicated to you they'd be, or what kind of life you could build together.
Don't put the responsibility for your insecurities on someone else. Take some responsibility for once in your life. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 9:45:51 AM | The ideal height difference is the one they agree on.
Seriously this is still a question?
The reason women have a shorter average than men is because men are also picking smaller over thousands of generations. Otherwise women's average would be equal to men.
So, snark at all your dead ancestors.
It isn't up to a DEMOCRATIC VOTE as to whether you are attractive to someone or not.
It's individual response, in real time, in a fraction of a second. Even they are not totally in control of it, same as if you hit them in the knee with a hammer.
Nothing you can do about it except be as attractive as you can be, which largely includes being happy, accepting of others, kind, and YES, compensating in other ways for whatever your shortcomings are.
I'm 4'11. No guy here has anything on me for living a short life. Or living life while being short, anyway.
You have to learn how to project. That's all.
When I decide something is going to happen around me, it happens. People move.
It's not because I'm big enough to kick their ass. (Although, frankly, I could, just because of the element of surprise.)
It's because I deem it totally irrelevant how high their heads are off the ground as to whether what I want gets done. How often does it really matter if someone is taller than me? If I am in a dark alley? Duh, I don't go in dark alleys.
You short guys and you know who you are, it isn't really about a number it's about the attitude inside you....you have to learn how to project.....I AM THE BEST GUY YOU WILL EVER MEET. THE BEST LOVER YOU MAY NOT GET A CHANCE TO ENJOY.
You are the one who has to believe it first. Plus you have to back it up.
You have to deem it totally irrelevant what your height is, and become magnetic to others.
Stop your whining and complaining, and get working on becoming magnetic.
There is no amount of whining and complaining that ever won a woman.
You are in a battle. You can wage a mighty fight, or you can try winning by whining.
Haven't seen a war won yet by whining. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 9:46:32 AM |
I don't project my insecurities onto someone else nor do i want to... that's why I simply avoid shorter men altogether... problem eliminated.
So what you're saying here is that, if you were to date a man who was shorter than you, you would be projecting those insecurities onto him? That's the logical conclusion from your statement. So with a root cause analysis here, what you're really saying is that you would, in fact, be insecure about dating a man who was shorter than you are.
Sounds like your problem, not his, so why not correct the problem? Why persist in a state of being less than you'd want to have, when you have the ability to change it?
Undeniably there are shorter men out there who are in fact insecure about their height, for a variety of reasons that also frequently include women who have arbitrary and ultimately meaningless height requirements to begin with (which they so often attempt to disguise as "preferences", as though their self deceit weren't obvious to everyone). But you just don't know if a given man is such a person until you interact with him/read information like that in his profile, so why reject them out of hand?
Again, your insecurities, deficiencies, and lack of self worth. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 11:49:52 AM | You short guys and you know who you are, it isn't really about a number it's about the attitude inside you....you have to learn how to project.....I AM THE BEST GUY YOU WILL EVER MEET. THE BEST LOVER YOU MAY NOT GET A CHANCE TO ENJOY.
That's a rousing speech, and it may be true to some degree out in the 'real world', but online a short guy isn't afforded that opportunity to project anything if the women out there are enforcing a height limit on any prospective dates and won't give him the time of day.
Short guys only have 2 options:
1. Lie (or not disclose information) about our heights in order to create that opportunity to meet someone in real life and enable our other qualities to shine through - NOPE! It's dishonest, and that even if we were prepared to go to those lengths to get our foot in the door, dishonesty/implied insecurity is hardly a positive basis for converting a gal who is already actively opposed to meeting any shorter guys in the first place.
2. Be open and honest and just accept that women are going to reject us up front because of our height, regardless of whether our other qualities would have shined through to them had we met them in person.
Neither of these options particularly aid the short man's goal of connecting with someone special, but at least option 2 is a considerate and moralistic course of action that doesn't falsely raise anyone's expectations or potentially waste anyone's time.
Height might be one of the few physical characteristics that doesn't affect a person's attractiveness to someone else on screen, only how they perceive them in person. Technically, they do find that person attractive (as much as anyone can fancy an actor or a model who they've never met in person) - it's just how they perceive that person proportionately to themselves when they meet that seems to alter that perception.
A guy could even show up in heeled shoes or lifts that give him and extra 3" and even in person a woman could accept him as that height and enjoy his company and totally fancy him, and only when the revelation came later that those extra 3" are actually artificial does her attraction to him fade as he is revealed not to be as tall as she had believed and the illusion is broken.
I suppose it's like women who wear wonderbras or 'granny pants' to enhance their figure - the guy may fancy them in every other way, but if that cleavage disappears and the bum expands when they get naked, then it can be game over for them! | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 12:24:46 PM | @LukeT77 OK, at least you are not whining.
That's a reasonable argument. So be reasonable. Maybe online dating just won't work for shorter guys for that reason.
It doesn't work for overweight women, as you suggested, for the very same reason.
I think it also relates to the associations Americans have with visual images as well.
You don't see short guys on TV unless they are funny or the butt of the joke.
Same goes for non-model type women.
People aren't really willing to give up their DNA hunt for the best DNA even when they are making decisions after they're done breeding. People just aren't very reasonable about these dating preferences.
Being reasonable takes a lot of work.
I personally don't think a billion threads trying to talk the POFfer women into dating shorter than they're comfortable will make a difference.
I also don't think a billion threads trying to talk the POFfer men into dating overweight women will make a difference.
So, I personally am working with reality. The POFfer guys (and they represent most guys very well, they say what everyone else won't ) are not going to be happy with a woman 30 pounds over her ideal weight. OK. I am managing the discovery of a disease which I didn't know I had for a year and made me gain 15 pounds even though I was eating salad. 15 on me is the same as 30 on a taller woman.
They hate it; I'm getting rid of it. Not complaining, don't care about sympathy, I'm just doing it.
My suggestion to all the so-called shorter guys: reduce your own height requirement and limit out those women. Swim with the fishes who like you.
Or, get out in real life and be brave. Work with reality.  | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 12:32:52 PM | I like tall men, around six feet tall. I like long muscular man legs. I just do. I don’t feel the need to justify my personal choices, at all.
That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t or haven’t dated shorter men. There are lots of other qualities I find attractive.
Being obtuse and argumentative…not attractive. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 1:12:16 PM | That's a reasonable argument. So be reasonable. Maybe online dating just won't work for shorter guys for that reason.
Thanks. 
Online dating works for shorter guys, but we just need to generally be more patient in finding the right match, and not take it too personally when some people's general preferences anonymously filter us out.
The only reason the height thing is notable to me at all is because I never encountered this kind of phenomenon in real life - though I encountered it as soon as I came online. I guess in real life, people don't go into as much detail about what they want and won't accept in their dates, whereas online people shout it from the rooftops. 
In the end we can't control what attracts us. The same requirements that cause people to be rejected for whatever reason are also reducing the options of the those people who are doing the rejecting (and potentially leaving them single for longer too), so it's not like the requirements makes life any easier for either group.
You don't see short guys on TV unless they are funny or the butt of the joke.
Well, how actors and actresses are shown on TV doesn't necessarily match their heights in reality - we're being sold an illusion in many cases as the actor is often playing a role that calls for their height to be exaggerated or downplayed. Personally, I think media perpetuates the whole 'height preference' to some degree (bit of a 'chicken and egg' effect). If we weren't being fed stereotypes in TV and movies all the time then society's perception of what is and isn't generally accepted as attractive would probably shift somewhat (not to say that people's own biological preferences would be altered).
I personally don't think a billion threads trying to talk the POFfer women into dating shorter than they're comfortable will make a difference.
I also don't think a billion threads trying to talk the POFfer men into dating overweight women will make a difference.
True. But people have a right to vent their frustrations and share their experiences with others, if people don't want to hear it then they should know better than to enter one of these threads.
My suggestion to all the so-called shorter guys: reduce your own height requirement and limit out those women. Swim with the fishes who like you.
We're not left with a lot of choice on that one! :wink:
Or, get out in real life and be brave. Work with reality.
It's the lack of opportunities to meet people out there in reality that has brought most of us online in the first place. To quit here is to give up on the only obvious glimmer of hope (if you discount chance meetings in the supermarket, etc) for meeting single people for many people. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 3:27:26 PM | I value myself enough to know what attracts me to men. I know that I am not attracted to short men in general. I don't see any need to change that... nor do I want to. Just like some men wouldn't date me because I'm not thin.. not gonna change that either. Everyone has insecurities, some big, some small. It is MY issue, insecurity, preference, and one I'm comfortable having. I see no need to try to change it either. I'm NOT settling for less than I want to have, as I want a man my height or taller...can't tell me there's no good guys out there who are 5'9 or taller.
Sure there's good short guys out there...and just as many good short women who don't mind. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 3:33:29 PM | I try to be open and not place height limits on men I meet, however, what is particularly annoying is that men either do not know how tall they really are, or they simply lie and add a few inches. Unfortunately it's a lie/ignorance or omission that will come back to bite them (and me) every damn time.
I've been attracted to and involved with men my height so height is not a deal breaker.
Yes I would prefer a man who is taller, it is not a requirement if the attraction is there.
There's worse things than short. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:40:20 PM | Well, don't quit, for pete's sake.
Nice change of profile pic - there ya go, now that's fighting dirty.
Yes, lots of people love to vent their frustrations on here; we've all done it.
I'm sad, that guys are giving up on the supermarket. Nostalgia.
Back OT: Height differences....I have dated 6'4 and it's just silly, a nuisance, and really one tries to be humanistic but there are things that just don't work right..6'0 is sort of okay, closer to the ballpark...5'11 is better...yes, an inch matters...and 5'8 is really, really good. 5'4, that brings back a few memories.
Maybe this would be more understandable if all the women are really basing their height requirement on the last great hug fitting. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:52:04 PM | Who are you to tell us what matters?
You don't get to decide what women want.
Oops, I guess you do, since all the anger you're showing helps us decide we don't want it.
You're calling women "coward" and "lemmings" and "tiny" and "insignificant" ???
Does that seem like attractive behavior to you? this is going to be on your profile for a long, long time.
Short-sighted. Mean. Tantrum-my.
You need a hot date with a really sweet lady and a cold , but this really, genuinely snarly attitude will NOT get you there.
I will NOT date somebody shorter than me, and you can call me all the names you want. There are certain things I need in a relationship, and that is that. My needs are important, and they matter. Just as all women's needs matter.
If you really got that, you probably wouldn't be lonely. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/12/2011 11:20:13 PM | StarLedbyLight said:
You need a hot date with a really sweet lady and a cold , but this really, genuinely snarly attitude will NOT get you there.
I will NOT date somebody shorter than me, and you can call me all the names you want. There are certain things I need in a relationship, and that is that. My needs are important, and they matter. Just as all women's needs matter.
If you really got that, you probably wouldn't be lonely.
Check the profile, dear. You're going to have to be clear with me on where it says in my profile I'm here looking for companionship. I'm here for the forums. It sort of removes your entire rebuttal, doesn't it? Devil's in the details.
There are things you say you need in a "relationship"? How is height part of a relationship at all? A relationship describes the interactions between two people, not their physical preferences/requirements. At least learn to properly describe what it is you're actually trying to say. It helps at least keep you on a logical footing in an exchange of opposing viewpoints.
Shezabritelite: You get it. You know how to explain the differences between a preference and a requirement, and you understand the implicit conditions of both as they relate to dating. This puts you miles ahead of most of the women on this site who have height issues that do little more than display their own insignificant insecurities.
Metalgrrl37 said:
It is MY issue, insecurity, preference, and one I'm comfortable having. I see no need to try to change it either
So what you're really saying here is you acknowledge it's an insecurity. If most people acknowledge insecurities as bad things (and I can't think of any who'd realistically say they're good things), one then questions why you don't move to change things about yourself you realize are bad. What you're really saying here amounts to "I see something bad about myself that I can easily change through an act of will, but I don't want to grow and improve myself as a person, and would rather my insecurities be allowed to wound others through my own selfishness."
How pitiful and wretched. Par for the course, I suppose. | |
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| What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 10/13/2011 6:25:56 AM | [There are things you say you need in a "relationship"? How is height part of a relationship at all? A relationship describes the interactions between two people, not their physical preferences/requirements. ]
Height is part of a relationship to each other because a relationship is going to include physical contact, and physical contact has some direct involvement with attraction.
Attraction is what starts a relationship of any kind, and preference is directly involved with attraction. Physically, I'm not attracted to guys shorter than me.
They don't "read" on the Richter scale because lots of them are in elementary school or they are abnormally short for the range of human males. Most people are geared to be attracted to the average, just for the sake of the species and the health of the gene pool.
Height is part of a relationship, physical differences are part of a relationship, if I can't kiss a 6'7 boyfriend spontaneously without a ladder, that changes the relationship and I don't want to be carried around like a Yorkie.
But the 6'7 guys are not here snarling that it 's just emotionally abusive that they are not my preference.
You are willing to call people names because you disagree with their decisions and fundamentally you wish to change their preferences or natural behavior to your own advantage.
Good luck with that, really. | |
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